Okay, okay, by popular demand, this is my Monica Lewinsky blog post:

So, I was at Genie’s (1101 SE Division—try the crab omelette) yesterday for brunch, and none other than Monica Lewinsky showed up. At first all that occurred was a scoping out and a segue into my BF talking about his more-impressive John-John run-in in NYC, and how that was the closest America ever came to having a prince. But then I got in line for the bathroom, and Monica came up and was all, “Is this the line for the bathroom? And I was all, “Yeah.” And then she jiggled the handle on the door and was all, “It makes people hurry up if you jiggle the handle.” And I was all, “Yeah, you know you’ve been in the can when someone does that and it really does compel you to hurry.” And she was all, “Totally.” Anyhow, obviously I was playing it cool by not addressing the fact that she was Monica Lewinsky, which is the decent thing to do, but unfortunately I had all types of questions I wanted to ask her: Was her handbag one of her own designs? Did she like my handbag? My god, woman, what kind of volumizing shampoo are you using?—Monica Lewinksy’s thick, wavy dark hair, BTW is to mother-effing die for. Anyhow, she’s pretty, and seems very nice. That is all.