I spent a few minutes this morning unsuccessfully trying to talk Lew Frederick into running for city council in 2008—with the usual caveats; if Potter doesn’t run for reelection and if Sam Adams runs for mayor. He might change his mind, but it looks like he’s focused on other priorities, like putting together the city’s Human Rights Commission and serving on the state board of education.

But here’s one thing I forgot to mention, which I think could have convinced him—if he runs, he won’t have to compete against the mysterious, one-named “Watchman,” who ran against Dan Saltzman in 2006 and got a whopping 1,248 votes (1.27 percent). Watchman isn’t running for city council next year; instead, he’s running for president.

Little is known about Watchman, other than the fact that his name is legally “Watchman,” and that he’s a self-proclaimed minister, and that he’s taken 200 quarter and semester hours of college. His birth name is James Louis Dezort, and he’s actually run for president multiple times in the past—but this is the first time I’ve ever received a handwritten letter from him.

Two days ago, there was a package in my mailbox—as soon as I saw “Watchman” in the return address, I knew my week had made a turn for the better. Sure enough, there was a nine-page, handwritten “platform,” plus four pages of introduction. Since today is our current intern Daniel Savickas’ last day, I made him type out the entire document. The whole letter is after the jump.

Oh, in case it wasn’t clear—Watchman is a tad on the kooky side.

To whom it may concern,

Enclosed is a copy of my platform.

In addition to the four positions listed there I have other things I want to work on:
Restructure the government

Do away with the fifty separate states and only retain a federal government with its House of Representative districts. The senate would be reduced from one hundred to five advisors to the President.

Form nine districts resided over by nine governors from nine denominations. Everyone would have to choose which of these nine they want to be affiliated with.

The nine districts will be as follows:

Immanuel Chapel composed of Assembly of God, Disciples of Christ, Quakers, and Mormons; Catholic; other Mormons; Episcopal; Presbyterian; Methodist; Jewish; Mennonite; and Salvation Army.

Sincerely,
[illegible scribble]

I am a non-partisan independent candidate for president of the United States. I have been an evangelist since 1987 and God has given me a lot of prophesy.

I have 200 quarter and semester hours of college.

I am fifty-nine years old.

Platform

1. Make land available in cities where anyone can stay as long as they want for free. Where possible provide studio apartments for the poor.

Section 8 housing is not taking care of the need that exists. Poor people just wander from town to town without sleep in many cases. They can’t establish themselves anywhere even if they want to. Taking care of the poor brings God’s blessing.

2. End all use of radioactive material in the United States.

Radioactive particles bill.

A person can make up their own mind if they want to smoke cigarettes or not. But no one is given a choice when it comes to spreading radioactive material around the world. We don’t have the right to expose anyone to an increase in radioactivity. This must stop.

3. No abortion. I am a priest and GOD asked me to counsel a lady who had gotten an abortion saying she needed to apologize to Jesus for killing her baby. God said use 2 Kings 6:29 in counseling her. It is talking about a city under siege which food was a problem:

“29 So we boiled my son, and ate him. And I said onto her on the next day, give thy son, that we may eat him. And she hath hidden her son.”

There is no situation too severe for us to kill our children.

In the Bible book of Numbers 3:13 says “13 Because all the first born are mine; for on the day that I smote all the first-born in the land of Egypt I hallowed unto me all the first-born in Israel, both man and beast; mine shall they be and I am the LORD.”

GOD says today that not only the first born of Israel belong to him, but every baby that is conceived in the womb belongs to GOD. Women must nurture the new life in them and raise them up to adults. They must not kill that life that has started in them.

Jeremiah in Samentations 4:3 complains that “3 Even the sea monsters draw out the breast, they five suck to their young ones; the daughter of my people is become cruel, like the ostriches in the wilderness.”

Here is what GOD wants for doctors who perform abortions:

First offense three million dollar fine.

Second offense same penalty.

Third offense death penalty.

This is the word of the LORD.

4. Institute two mandatory religion classes in school. This is a Christian nation and when we send our children to school all day their training in GOD must continue.

Isaiah 50:1,2 convicts us: “I thus saith the LORD: where is the bill of your mother’s divorcement, whom I have put away? Or which of my creditors is it to whom I have sold you? Behold, for your iniquities have ye sold yourselves, and for your transgressions is your mother put away. 2 Wherefore, when I can, was there no man? When I called was there none to answer? Is my hand shortened at all, that it cannot redeem? Or have I no power to deliver?

Behold, at my rebuke I dry up the sea, I make the rivers a wilderness; their fish stink, because there is no water, and die for thirst.”

Mothers are supposed to teach about GOD to their children when GOD calls they are ready. This in not the case today.

God wants and eighth grade mandatory class in reading through the Bible, and a mandatory class in the Holy Spirit (opening the Bible at random). I asked God when I could claim John 3:8 and he said when I had been doing it for a year. We need to give everyone that beginning.