Playing through Wednesday at the Clinton St. Theater is a doubleheader of historic proportions.

First up in the Maximum Car-Nage bill, at 7pm, is Maximum Overdrive, the one and only movie directed by Stephen King. It was one of my favorite movies as a kid, and I think it’s held up through the years, becoming more and more timely as technology progresses. It’s like Stephen King invented a time machine, traveled to 2007, wrote this film, and then traveled back to 1986 just to blow some motherfucking minds with his tale of machines come to life—with DEADLY results!

If you’re not frightened after that, you better check your pulse. Fun fact! On June 19, 1999, while out for a walk, King was struck by a speeding Freightliner with a giant green goblin on the front of it.

Next up, at 9pm, is Vanishing Point, about a guy who drives really fast in a supercharged Dodge Challenger. Don’t fuck with Kowalski.

I don’t know about you, but Canada looks better and better everyday, what with their nationalized healthcare, same-sex marriage, and lax marijuana laws.

That’s why today, on National French Fry day, I’m actually celebrating the Canadian version—poutine. French fries covered in gravy and cheese.

Sure, I’ve never had it, and it’s a horribly unvegan dish, but I’m celebrating in my head. See what I mean?

My blog posts have been a little carb-heavy today, I’ll spare you a picture of a giant biscuit.

There’s a spankin’ new Biscuits Cafe on NW 21st Ave, just up the strip from Cha!, the recently-opened upscale taqueria from the Cha Cha Cha folks (which has a sweet patio and a pretty serious tequila list).

It’s honestly been years since I’ve eaten at a Biscuits, but I used to love the one in Beaverton—standard breakfast stuff, omelets, bennies, pancakes, french toast. Biscuits, natch. Big portions, relatively cheap, overall a pretty solid breakfast spot. If the one in Northwest had been open when I worked in that neighborhood I would’ve been all over that shit.

103 NW 21st, Mon-Fri 6:30 am-2:30 pm, Sat 6:30-3, Sun 7-3

As a Jew who is little more than a mere cog in the Jew-run media, I’m obviously sickened to find out that Hammerfest 2007 will be held in Portland. Hammerfest is a white power music festival which features hate-based bands from not just this country, but from all over the globe. The festival will run October 5-7th, but no venue has been named.

If you don’t get the creeps from visiting the above link, check out the hilarious “Rules” section. My personal favorite: INAPPROPRIATE CONDUCT IN THE PRESENSE OF WOMEN OR CHILDREN WILL NOT BE TOLERATED

You can be a hate-mongering monster with poor taste in music, but dude, don’t be a jerk in the presense of the kids. Not cool, man.

No, it really is. Let’s all just take a moment and think about French fries.

My most special French fry memory is: I grew up in the ‘burbs and when I was sixteen the coolest thing ever was to skip school and go to Dot’s for cheese fries. I had to follow a map drawn on a napkin to get there (1-5 to the Ross island bridge, up Powell, left at the Burgerville.) since at that point this city still seemed big. My friend Stephanie and I whiled away many a school day over cheese fries and (virgin) raspberry lime rickeys.

Now that I am a grownup (ish) I am very partial to the bizarrely addictive salt-and-pepper fries at the Bonfire, though I have a feeling that ten years down the road I am going to associate those fries with a period in my twenties during which I made a lot of poor decisions.

Anyone? Fries?

This year’s Junk to Funk “trashion show” is scheduled to take place on November 17, and they are open to accept your submissions now! Says the press release:

Professional artists, fashion and apparel designers along with members of the general creative public will not want to miss this truly unique opportunity to compete for prizes up to $500 in the upcoming Junk to Funk Recycled Fashion Show Contest. The pieces of wearable art and fashion that are being sought should be made out of found objects, recycled materials and things you normally might find in the trash.

Check out the Junk to Funk web site for submission details.

Developers of the Mississippi Lofts are setting up a dunk tank at the Mississippi street fair tomorrow, so local residents can get the chance to take their revenge on them for going ahead with the controversial development.The tank, which will cost $5 for 3 baseballs (throw a ball, hit the target, dunk the developer) will be manned by all three developers.“We want to show the neighborhood we are still good sports,” says Bill Jackson, who has led the development through thick and thin, and multiple trips to the Historic Landmarks Commission to pass muster with the NIMBY neighbors.

But let’s hope the developers have judged things right. It’s all well and good to be a “good sport,” but with the lofts starting at $289,000, frankly I’m tempted to go up there and just chuck a baseball right at their faces. Never mind the dunk tank…

QUESTION: Would you allow yourself to be enslaved by robots, if those robots were super hot (like at least as hot as Number Six from Battlestar Galactica), and would have sex with you on a regular basis?

Leave your response in the comments below. (So far, a quick interoffice Mercury poll has revealed that 70% of us would happily be enslaved by hot, sex-having robots.)

P.S. And by “enslaved,” I mean performing manual labor.

This week’s film section, now in easily watchable form! All these movies open today—well, except for Potter, which has been open since Wednesday. What’re you guys seeing this weekend?

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Review. Trailer:

Pierrepoint: The Last Hangman. Review. Trailer:

Hit the jump for reviews and trailers for Introducing the Dwights and Crazy Love.

Introducing the Dwights. Review. Trailer:

Crazy Love. Review. Trailer:

More new reviews, as always, in our Film Shorts.

From Brett Burmeister:

Why I love Portland. Seen outside my building, on the Quest Statue in front of the Standard Insurance Center.

todayinpdx@portlandmercury.com

More urban hawk after the jump…

A former Police Captain has told KGW news [I’d link to them, but they didn’t link to us, despite using our YouTube post as basis for their story, so I won’t] that video of an alleged beating of a man by Sheriff’s Deputies and Portland Police Officers at the Justice Center is “not anything excessive.”

Former Portland Police Captain C.W. Jensen watched the video with kgw. He viewed it as officers making sure an uncooperative, potentially violent suspect does not get loose. “What I see here is not anything excessive, they’re just trying to get him to comply,” said Jensen.

Meanwhile comments on the original post are divided:

The video surely did not match the level of the lawyer’s rhetoric (or the money she is asking for), in my personal opinion.

And as far as me being desensitized, maybe you are over-sensitized. People get punched in the face all the time. That does not make it right, but…

Orf is right, this isn’t even REMOTELY about justice, it’s all about the $$.

I might of had sympathy for Evans had he gone about this in a different way. Now, it’s just obvious he’s just another fat lazy American looking to get rich for nothing.

Legality is the key. Did anyone break the law? More importantly, does the city of Portland have a body capable to seeing to it that these cops’ actions are held under the scrutiny of the law? They are payed to protect and serve and they are to obey the law just like you and I and most others in the city do every day.

What do you think? Was the beating egregious? Or fair? Did the guy do anything to deserve it? Or not? Was he “resisting?”

Incidentally, the answer to these questions is: Yes, it was egregious. No, it wasn’t fair. No, the guy didn’t do anything to deserve it, and of course he wasn’t resisting. Still, make up your own minds…far be it for the media to try to influence public opinion. CoughKGWcoughcough.

If you were planning to go to the Kehinde WIley lecture tomorrow at the Portland Art Museum, it’s time to think of an alternate plan. The museum’s website is saying that the lecture has been cancelled and will be rescheduled at a later date. We’ll let you know when we find out when that is.

This is just so wrong.

On Jay Leno, very funny comedian (and the star of the animated Ratatouille) PATTON OSWALT tells that little limey punk Daniel Radcliffe why America should bypass the new Harry Potter flick. (Hint: Only commie pedophiles like Harry Potter.)

If you’re out and about this weekend, make a trip up to Souchi (807 NW 23rd) for a huge summer sidewalk sale. Normally priced at what most of us consider an investment, the purveyor of locally made cashmere pieces for every season promise many pieces under $100. Here’s how it breaks down: 10% off the current collection, 30-80% off Spring/Summer, and 30% off all cotton cashmere summer styles, plus pieces by Souchi favorites like Jovovich-Hawk, Mike & Chris, and Ports 1961. Plus check out the store’s new arrivals and limited editions for fall.

(This limited edition funnel coat, which you have to sign up for on a waiting list, is my current Souchi fantasy.)

For more info on sales, check in here.

• If you haven’t checked out the video of a local man being beaten by some cops for allegedly “resisting” getting his fingerprints taken, you can view it HERE. Apparently, “resisting” now means curled up in the fetal position while a cop kicks you in the ribs.

• While a new report suggests that President Bush’s plan for Iraq isn’t working, Bush takes that to mean that he needs more time to make it work. Someone needs to tell him that a few extra months won’t make dead people less dead.

• Let the bells ring and the confetti fall! David Beckham and Victoria (Posh Spice) have FINALLY arrived in the U.S.! Okay. Now that that’s over, when can we expect Benny Hill?

• And finally, (sorry ladies) the world’s tallest man has gotten married—to a girl two-thirds his height? As Kanye West so wisely said, “When he get on, he’ll leave your ass for a short girl.”

A 40-year-old man beaten apparently without provocation last September by Multnomah County Sheriff’s Deputies and Portland Police Officers is asking for an early settlement $360,000 in order not to sue.

This 8-minute video of the incident obtained this morning by the Mercury appears to show 6’7” Sheriff’s Deputy Richard Hathaway violently assaulting inmate Michael Evans (at 3:26 on the video, if you’re counting down, or about mid-way through—we’re showing the whole thing so you can see it in context). There appears to be a combination of six sheriff’s deputies and Portland Police Bureau officers involved.
This Tuesday, July 10, Leah Greenwald, attorney for the beaten man, Michael Evans, sent a demand letter to the city’s office of risk management, describing the “unprovoked brutality revealed” in the video as “deeply disturbing.” The letter also makes reference to the “self serving dishonesty of the officers who reported the incident,” describing it as “shocking.”

In a misconduct hearing report, the letter says Deputy Hathaway wrote: “Evans violated rule(s) assault on staff, disruptive, disrespectful behavior, failed to do as ordered.” Hathaway also wrote: “Inmate Evans struck me in the nose during booking“—although this is not apparent from the video. “A use of force occurred in the booking area. Evans would not follow the directions given to him during booking,” Hathaway reportedly continued.

Portland Police Officer Hager, present, reported that Evans told the Deputy he was not giving his finger prints. Deputy Hathaway “grabbed Evans’ arm and Evans immediately began to fight. Several deputies joined in along with myself and Ofc Albertson who was in the booking area.”

Portland Police Officer Albertson wrote in his report, “While at MCDC Evans became physical with the deputies. One Deputy got a bloody nose. 3 Deputies held him down on the ground while he fought to get up. Evans refused to put his hands behind his back. I kneed Evans twice in his right rib cage because he engaged in aggressive physical resistance. Evans continued to struggle until a Taser was brought out by a deputy.”

”The video clearly shows that Mr. Evans was not physically aggressive before he was assaulted,” Greenwald’s letter continues. “The uncooperative verbal exchange between the officers and Mr. Evans did not warrant or authorize the brutality they inflicted upon him. Evidence of a verbal dispute, however, demonstrates motive for the officers’ unlawful behavior. Mr. Evans explained to Officer Hathaway that he had poor hearing, and therefore asked Officer Hathaway to repeat many instructions. In addition, Mr. Evans may have angered the deputies by engaging in some passive non-compliance when he was asked to provide fingerprints.”

Deputy Hathaway’s description of the assault is also “strongly discredited by the video,” Greenwald writes:

He wrote that he “ordered Evans to put his hands behind his back and he did not comply. Again, using a focused blow, I struck Evans in the right side with my left hand closed fist. Evans was ordered to put his hands behind his back but he refused to comply, keeping them tucked under his stomach. In an attempt to gain Evans’ compliance I used another focus blow with my right hand closed fist and struck Evans in the head just over his right eye, causing a small cut.

This is Evans’ booking photo, taken directly after the incident:“The video reveals that deputy Hathaway did not limit himself to two focused blows with his right fist,” Greenwald continues.

“As you view the video, you will observe (amidst Mr. Evans’ screams) that Mr. Evans is unable to move his arms because he has approximately six individuals aggressively pushing him into the ground, leaving multiple puddles of blood. Essentially, Mr. Evans is pinned against the ground, unable to move. Moreover, you will observe that Mr. Evans was not fighting the officers.”

Evans alleges he did not receive medical attention for 18 hours after the assault. He received a bloody nose, broken nose, various cuts, bruises and severe swelling, but alleges he used his own shirt as a towel to soak up the blood and apply pressure to his broken bleeding nose, and he reset his own nose in place.

“These are the people we rely on to take care of us,” says Evans’ mother, Anita Evans, who resides in Nevada. “And we can’t even trust them any more. They need to be held to account. He bled extensively, there’s blood on the floor that they had to clean up, and they wouldn’t even give him a washrag or anything to clean himself off with. What pleasure can you get from doing that to another human being?”

Ms. Evans says her son was arrested on Assault 4, a misdemeanor, but subsequently tried for Assualt 2 on a police officer because of his alleged resistance at the jail. A call to the District Attorney’s office about Evans’ prosecution is yet to be returned.

“I have had nightmares about the video and can’t watch it,” Ms. Evans continues. “It would be bad enough if it weren’t my own son, but how could they do that to him?”

Jason Gates, spokesman for the Multnomah County Sheriff’s Office, is also yet to return a call for comment, while Portland Police spokesman Brian Schmautz did not immediately return a call for comment but has been forwarded a link to the video in the meantime.

In our excitement to deliver you the goods of another awesome paper, we didn’t have space for Tristan Staddon’s excellent piece on The Nightwatchman, the new solo project of Tom Morello, former guitarist for Audioslave and Rage Against the Machine. Read the article here.

That’s all well and good, but look closely at the above photo. Is that a Morello fan in a burqa? Holding a digital camera? What the hell? Does that mean that Morello’s folk-jams are in accordance to Sharia. Click here for a better look.

MP3:
Tom Morello - California’s Dark

The Oregonian this morning took up the Mercury’s story of Richard Prentice—the 33 year-old senior at Portland State allegedly arrested and intimidated in a holding cell for putting up anti-cop posters downtown. It’s good to see the Oregonian taking an interest in this important story.

Finally made it up the street to Dove Vivi (2727 NE Glisan), a new pizza place in the space formerly occupied by Kustom Pizza. I had an intense aversion to Kustom, due both to their gross-out heat lamp pizza and to my general disapproval of K-for-C substitutions in business names (WHY!)—but fortunately, the only resemblance that Dove Vivi bears to Kustom is that they both serve(d) something that can be broadly defined as “pizza.”

There’s a lot of pizza on that strip already, of course—Ken’s Artisan, Stark Naked, Pizzicato. Dove Vivi distinguishes itself with a hook: their pizza is made with a dense, crunchy cornmeal crust, for a more deep-dish style pie that requires a knife and a fork and is almost more reminiscent of a savory tart than what I think of as pizza. I tried a slice with fresh corn, marinated onions, mozzarella, and chives, and a few bites of the pesto, with mozzarella, ricotta, fontina, and tomatoes. Both were good, and incredibly filling (I would not attempt to eat more than one slice in a sitting).

The’ve got a list of 8 topping combos available daily by the slice, half pie, or pie (including loads of veggie options and one vegan pie), as well as an ever-rotating specials menu: look for ingredients like eggplant, fresh rosemary, butternut squash, house-marinated baby artichoke hearts, cajun sausage, italian ham, toscano salami… and so on. They offer pies to go (including par-baked pies), and they also serve lasagna, veggie & meat calzones, roasted chicken, and a few types of salad. Wine and bottled beer is available.

The space itself has been totally gutted and redone, and it’s actually really pleasant: lots of blonde wood and understated artwork. Oh, and really super incredibly nice service.

I’m a sucker for a thin crust and minimal toppings, and as such would always choose Ken’s over this place for dinner, but this is definitely a great addition to the neighborhood, particularly for lunch.

2727 NE Glisan, open Tues-Sat 11:30 am-10 pm, Sun 3-10 pm, 239-4444

WHOOO! Let’s get nerdy, people, ‘cuz the new Battlestar Galactica TV movie (entitled “Razor”) is coming in November. To whet your whistle, check out this promo that debuted on the Sci-Fi channel last night. It drips action like a Cylon drips motor oil!

Though the word “employment” is anathema to many people in this town… it would be wrong to not inform you of the following employment announcement. So here it is: Sean “P. Diddy” Combs is looking for a personal assistant! COULD YOU BE THAT SOMEBODY? Well, check out the video below and see. (Must be willing to convincingly feign that Diddy has an iota of talent, and hide the occasional gun.)

I first heard about director Neill Blomkamp when Peter Jackson hired him to direct the movie version of the Halo videogames. That project’s since been put on hold, if not canceled, but that doesn’t mean Blomkamp is any less awesome: A quick look at the guy’s short films and commercials reveals a pretty stunning style and an incredibly promising filmmaker. Seamlessly blending live-action and CG, Blomkamp’s shorts are creepy, beautiful, sad, and strange, and I’d love to see more work from him.

If you haven’t seen his stuff before, I can’t recommend watching this or this enough.

The good news? Even though the Halo film is kaput, it looks like Microsoft has hired Blomkamp to make some commercials for the upcoming Halo 3 game. Here’s one of ‘em.

Better quality here. All this via Bungie.

As it turns out, Homeland Security chief Michael Chertoff may have been talking out of his ass during his latest round of fear mongering, but one thing is for certain: A very, very, fake disaster is scheduled to hit Portland this October.

Portland has been chosen to participate in a terrorism preparedness exercise with the inappropriately cutesy name of “TOPOFF 4”—it stands for Top Officials, and this is the fourth event in a series. Between October 15 and 24, local, state, and federal leaders and law enforcement will be pretending to respond to terrorist attack.

From Homeland Security:

What is the scenario for the TOPOFF 4 FSE?

The T4 FSE, based on National Planning Scenario – 11 (NPS-11), begins as terrorists, who have been planning attacks in Oregon, Arizona, and the U.S. Territory of Guam successfully bring radioactive material into the United States. The first of three coordinated attacks occurs in Guam, with the simulated detonation of a Radiological Dispersal Device (RDD), or “dirty bomb,” causing casualties and widespread contamination in a populous area. Similar attacks occur in the hours that follow in Portland and Phoenix. A RDD is not the same as a nuclear attack. It is a conventional explosive that, upon detonation, releases radioactive material into the surrounding area. Although it does not cause the type of catastrophic damage associated with a nuclear detonation, there are severe rescue, health, and long-term decontamination concerns associated with a RDD.

Meep!

Well, not strictly. But here are the locations where your seats might eventually be, if the mayor’s Street Access For Everyone (SAFE) committee delivers on its intention to site 26 benches throughout Portland in exchange for making it illegal to sit or lie on the sidewalk:Check out the Bench Siting Blog, a project of the Pedestrian Advisory Committee, which is part of the Portland Office of Transportation (oooo!) and make comments!

As the Tin House Writers Workshop rolls into its homestretch, things should get interesting tonight when fantastic local author Peter Rock interviews Annie Proulx, who will forever be remembered as the author of “Brokeback Mountain” (and of an infantile rant when said movie didnt win Best Picture at the Oscars). But as a winner of a Pulitzer, a National Book Award, and the Pen Faulkner, the breadth of her writing extends far past Jack and Ennis. Prior to Brokeback, she was most famous for the Shipping News, the gripping story of a slouch named Quoyle in Newfoundland. That Old Ace in the Hole is the singular best book I’ve ever read about the Texas Panhandle (that’s a weird sentence to write, but it does occur to me that I’ve read more of those books than the average reader). On the Panhandle, in Newfoundland, and in Brokeback’s Montana, the land is unforgiving and more untamed than we find in most contemporary literature. In these settings, men (amost always men, in Proulx’s books), are set against the land in your freshman English teacher’s favorite theme, man vs. nature.

Pete Rock deals with some of the same themes as Proulx, but he uses wildly different avenues to get there. His books are populated with electricity-obsessed teens, vagrants, skaters, blackjack dealers, and peeping toms. Listening to these two talking shop should be very fascinating, if the rumors of Proulx’s reclusiveness are indeed exaggerated.

Reed College Cerf Aphitheater, 3203 SE Woodstock, 8 pm, $5

If you’re not into curating, snobbery, or discriminating taste in art, then Overkill is the art show for you. The folks behind Jace Gace, the new-ish cafe and waffle restaurant on 20th and Belmont, has brought together an art show of… pretty much whoever came by to submit their stuff. Come see what happens when you throw notions of jurying out the window and let artists come first-serve to show their work. You might get some suck, but who knows, you might find a diamond in the rough. And if the art fails to hold your interest, try a savory waffle instead.

I was pleasantly surprised at the Pumpkins’ performance on David Letterman a few nights ago. After not being too crazy about the new record, and nearly barfing in my mouth when I saw their new music video, I guess I was expecting the worst.

Still, I’m bummed out Billy Corgan went with the Smashing Pumpkins moniker when half the original members aren’t even in the band. What do you Blogtown readers think? Are you sad or glad the Smashing Pumpkins are back? I’m still leaning towards sad.

Sometimes you just gotta remember the glory days, and not try to relive them, Billy.

According to Pitchfork, Blitzen Trapper has just inked a deal with Sub Pop. The band recently self-released the splendid Wild Mountain Nation last month, and no word yet on if the Seattle label will re-release it. Congrats guys!

The sun is out, the air is hot, and that can only mean one thing: Summer is here! If you’re ready to get your summertime groove on, check out this week’s episode of So Hot Right Now. Host Mike Williams whips up a great set to get that booty shakin’ in those hot pants. Check it out right here.

Also, So Hot Right Now kicks off its monthly dance party next Thursday, July 19th. That’s the ABOUT dance party at Branx (320 SE 2nd) every third Thursday of every month. Come dance and party with JOEEIRWIN, Mike Williams, and DJ Beyonda on Thursday July 19th at BRANX!

This week’s Mercury music section, all filler, no killer. Wait, is that right? Can we settle on all killer filler? Thanks.

Rasputina gets love from freak-folkers and those who wear corsets and protest the sun. It’s like one big rainbow of togetherness.
MP3: Rasputina - Inicident In A Medical Clinic

Former Swerdriver singer Adam Franklin goes solo and gets sad. I’d be sad too if someone cut off my dreadlocks.
MP3: Adam Franklin - Ramonesland

BOAT are so much goddamn fun that the teacher should take them away, lock them in a drawer, and not give them back until the end of the year.
MP3: BOAT - I Really, Really Think You Should Rethink Your Life

It’s not rite that Fist Fite plays all nite with The Klaxons.
MP3: Fist Fite - Legs

What happens when a family with two young magicians only gets ONE school voucher? One goes to the highly respected Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, while the other must attend “Buster’s School of Magic Tricks.” Check out this shocking (and hilarious!) news report on this shocking (and hilarious!) situation.

Toronto’s Stars have just announced a Portland show on November 15th at the Crystal Ballroom.

Although their new record, In Our Bedroom After The War, won’t hit store shelves until September 25th, the band just made news in the music industry by releasing their new material digitally, over two months in advance of the CD’s proper release. It’s an excellent method to curb pre-release downloading, and hopefully more indie artists will start doing the same.

My god, this video is absolutely gorgeous:
Stars - “Your Ex-Lover Is Dead”

TOP STORY: Not so HOT.
In related news: That’s still really hot, though.

In other news:
• A new report claims that half of the military’s goals in Iraq are not being met. Eternal optimist President Bush counters, “The way I see it, the glass is half FULL… with dead people.”

• Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix breaks the record for Wednesday openings, raking in $12 mil. I really, really need to get into the “nerd industry.”

• Morrissey on Madonna: “I wouldn’t be surprised if she [Madonna] made that African boy into a coat and wore him.” OOOOOHHH!

• To avoid a blackmail attempt, Miss New Jersey shows the world some racy pictures of her… drinking alcohol! GASP!! (I thought being perpetually drunk was a New Jersey requirement.)

• And finally… Jessica Simpson’s boobs… are REAL. Because we know it’s been keeping you up nights.

Wonder what happens when people stop buying music? Oh, this happens.

After 30 years in the neighborhood, the decision has been made to close down the NW 23rd and Johnson Music Millennium store. Because of escalating rent and a year of negotiating for a new lease, Music Millennium was forced to look for a new location. After months of looking for a new location, owner, Terry Currier, has decided that with the state of the recorded music industry declining at such a rapid rate, he could not, with good conscience, sign a long-term lease. The store will shut down at the end of August.

This is absolutely horrible news to all music fans, the city of Portland and anyone who has ever witnessed how passionate Terry Currier is when it comes to music.

Tonight’s Blübird instore performance just got a whole lot less hopeful.

Full press release after the jump.

STATE OF THE INDUSTRY FORCES CLOSING OF MUSIC MILLENNIUM NW 23RD AND JOHNSON LOCATION

After 30 years in the neighborhood, the decision has been made to close down the NW 23rd and Johnson Music Millennium store. Because of escalating rent and a year of negotiating for a new lease, Music Millennium was forced to look for a new location. After months of looking for a new location, owner, Terry Currier, has decided that with the state of the recorded music industry declining at such a rapid rate, he could not, with good conscience, sign a long-term lease. The store will shut down at the end of August.

The recorded music industry has been on a downward trend for about 7 years. This year alone the industry has experienced over a 25% decline. Music Millennium experienced increases in business for 17 straight years beginning in 1984, when Currier came to work for Don and Laureen MacLeod. Don and Laureen took the company back after the 2nd ownership was preparing to file bankruptcy. It was September of 2001 when Music Millennium noticed a decline. The decline at the NW 23rd location has been much higher than at the 32nd and East Burnside location.

Last year they were forced to take out a $400,000 mortgage against the building they own at 32nd and East Burnside to help pay mounting debts. A lot of time has been put into analyzing the financial state of the company. All the profits the past few years made at the 32nd and East Burnside location were being negated by the loss in profits at the NW 23rd location. With the industry in a decline, the future of Music Millennium depended on being lucky enough to find a location in NW that could be profitable for years to come or to downsize, work on paying off the debt and just keeping the original 32nd and Burnside location.
Owner, Terry Currier stated, “I moved to Portland in 1972 and while still in high school, I started working at a record store at Jantzen Beach named DJ’s Sound City. Three weeks later, I was introduced to Music Millennium. I felt I had found the Lost Ark of Recorded Music! I continued to work at DJ’s for the next 12 years but was a regular customer at Music Millennium. It had an amazing import music section and people whose lives revolved around the music that I could relate to. The store just had a great atmosphere to be around. When I went to work for the MacLeod’s in 1984 it was my goal to help bring it back to life. Once we paid off the debt, Don MacLeod stated, ‘You are probably ready to open more stores.’ My response was, ‘Once we make these 2 stores the best stores they can be, let’s talk about that.’ In the early 90s, we considered opening a store on Haight Street in San Francisco, but decided a store over 600 miles away could not get the proper attention it would need if we were not there on location ourselves. Four years later, that location became Amoeba Records. I always felt that as long as I was at Music Millennium, it was my responsibility, as the curator, to make sure Music Millennium had the best recorded music stores it could have.”

Music Millennium opened its 2nd location on NW 21st in 1977 on the same block where Cinema 21 resides. Over the years it moved to NW 21st and Johnson and again in 1989 to the corner of NW 23rd and Johnson. In 1995, Music Millennium moved into a larger space that their landlord acquired, behind their existing location. The store was designed with live music in mind and soon became the main destination for showcasing live music, something they had pioneered for record stores at their original 32nd and East Burnside location in the 80s. Music Millennium’s main focus was to help expose the music of up and coming talent, as well as artists they felt needed wider recognition. Live music instore was not totally a new concept to Music Millennium when it put in a permanent stage for their 20th anniversary in 1989. They had hosted a Robert Fripp show in the 70s. Artists who have played the NW 23rd and Johnson location included Richard Thompson, Little Feat, Cyndi Lauper, Everclear, Sonic Youth, Alejandro Escovedo, Weezer, Brandi Carlile, Keith Emerson and many, many others. In addition, thousands of local artists have played on our stage. Many of them have had record release events at the store because of their love of the store and because they can play to all ages

“The closing of the NW 23rd location is a sad moment for us.” states Currier. “We have been in that neighborhood for 30 years. Music Millennium moved into the neighborhood when it was not a desirable place for retail. Now, we are being forced out of the neighborhood, like so many other independent local merchants have over the years, as the rents have escalated. In our case, both the decline of our industry and the escalating rents teamed up on us. It was not an easy decision to make. Emotion kept telling me to keep looking for a space. The effect of closing the store to both employees and customers was always at the forefront of my mind. I put a lot of time into looking for a possible new location. Practicality eventually told me that shutting down the store was crucial to keeping Music Millennium healthy and alive.”
The store will continue to operate until the end of August. All scheduled live music events will go on as scheduled until the last day of operation at that location.

“Exposing people to music through live instore performances has been a large part of what we do for the past 18 years. We have seen regular faces at our NW 23rd events for many years. We hope to give them a good final 7 weeks of live performances before we close the door. Our plans are to continue the tradition of live performances by bringing it back into the 32nd and East Burnside location in the future.”

Terry Currier, Owner
Music Millennium

The Onion has a great list of 10 directors that you hate… even if you don’t recognize their names. Sure, most people know the big popular directors—those with marquee names—but most don’t realize that the same 10 little-known assholes are responsible for 99 percent of the horrible “comedies” and tear-jerking dramas pushed into theaters each year, from Vin Diesel’s The Pacifier to Night at the Museum. The list kicks off with Tom Shadyac, who everyone hates, even though no one knows who he is.

The inspiration for this piece, due to his recent work on Evan Almighty, a $175 million turd of Biblical proportions, Tom Shadyac epitomizes the qualities that unite most of the filmmakers on this list: The anonymity that comes with a total lack of distinguishable style or creative inspiration, a sensibility that appeals exclusively to the lowest common denominator, and commercial instincts so unfailingly shameless that he’ll never be wont for employment. Frequently collaborating with Steve Oedekerk (see below), Shadyac was the man responsible for leading Jim Carrey from In Living Color scene-stealer to the manic, rubber-faced fartsmith that made him an unstoppable force for evil in film comedy. Shadyac’s irredeemably ugly and inept Ace Ventura: Pet Detective put Carrey on the map, but before long, the director added cloying sentimentality to his repertoire as a sickly balance to kid-friendly slapstick. Carrey vehicles like Liar, Liar and Bruce Almighty were big offenders, but they had nothing on the tear-jerker Patch Adams, which starred Robin Williams as an unlicensed doctor who yukked his way into patients’ hearts while thumbing his nose at the medical establishment. (To quote Roger Ebert’s famously damning review: “If this guy broke into my hospital room and started tap-dancing with bedpans on his feet, I’d call the cops.”)

The rest of the list—featuring the brilliant (and prolific) minds behind such classics as Cheaper By The Dozen 2 and Wild Hogs—can be found here. Happy hating.

(Or, how to send all of the editors of a publication a vague solicitation, rebuff an effort to direct the solicitation to the right editor, slam said publication, accuse said publication’s art director of “stealing the intellectual property of others,” and threaten to ‘tattle’ on said publication for above referenced “riff/theft.”)

As happens several times a day, someone dropped us an email with an unsolicited writing sample—this one in the form of a simple URL to a blog called “‘Sheri Cherry’s Valu-Best Puppet Troupe-Adores’; Most impressive is “The Guide,” a large smiling puppet made mostly of air, with a colorful pair of shoes accentuating his dialogue.” (Anyone have a crazy-to-English dictionary handy?)

We set up a page of info on submissions a while back, so in an attempt to be helpful, I sent this person—John Figler—a quick and friendly note with the link.

Minutes later, I get this right back:

Amy,

Did it ever occur to you that you might be missing something special by sending out this sort of form email?

Much of your arts writing is ignorant and poorly written, relying on cliches and tired “bad-ass” attitude. You need more help than you realize.

Figler

Uhh….

It’s mid-afternoon—not the best time of day for me, attitude wise (I blame low blood sugar). So I respond.

That kind of attitude sure as hell isn’t going to help you get published.

I don’t have anything to do with arts—I’m the news editor. But did it occur to you that I’m trying to help freelancers get a foot in the door by making sure they know who to put their stuff in front of?

We get a lot of email each day, and knowing whom you can personally send things to helps it get noticed.

Figler fires back—with all kinds of “‘bad-ass’ attitude”—by sending a months-old writing sample, in which he’d slammed this Mercury illustration:

“That kind of attitude sure as hell isn’t going to help you get published.”

Oh my God! Thank you so much for this “insider’s” advice. You know, that would never have occurred to me!

Where do I send this article on art in the media?

‘Nam Era Protest Poster Found at Graphic Arts Chop Shop

An open letter to Portland Mercury editor Wm. Steven Humphrey and Portland Mercury art director Demo Fregosi:

I’m surprised to see that Mr. Fregosi’s illustration for this week’s Hempstalk Festival story is so …deeply influenced by a 1967 poster called “End Bad Breath”. The poster, created by venerable, top-flight graphic designer Seymour Chwast, depicts an aerial bombing occurring inside Uncle Sam’s mouth. Within my frame of reference, Chwast’s is a pretty famous image, but I wonder if Mr. Fregosi is banking on its relative obscurity elsewhere. A risky bet, sir. Though Mr. Fregosi might claim that he is not stealing the intellectual property of others, but is merely quoting Chwast’s work, or paying homage to it in the same way that artists can - and frequently do - quote James Montgomery Flagg’s “I WANT YOU” Uncle Sam, Chwast’s image has only modest cultural currency and none of the earnest and/or ironic associations Flagg’s has acquired through repeated use and reuse….

This is getting exhausting (I’m so overdue for my afternoon snack). If you’re still with me, Figler carries on after the jump.

I reply:

I've already seen that post—Demo quite literally said "I've got this idea that's a riff on a propaganda style poster," when he discussed that illustration. He's heard of it, you've heard of it—it strikes me that it's not so "little known."

Figler shoots back, twice in a row:

Then we agree to disagree -- on several points. I haven't sent it to Mr. Chwast, but I intend to, to get his opinion on the "riff/theft" divide. I'm simply curious, and frankly feel that emailing Chwast would be interesting anyway.

Do you know of Pushpin?

and

My sense of fair play compels me to mention that Chwast's career has thrived on appropriation and creative reuse. He's very likely to regard me as a silly boy. And as one of the most financially successful graphic artists in the history of our planet, he is unlikely to perceive a grubstake in the question.

John

Isn't the fact that Chwast is "one of the most financially successful graphic artists in the history of our planet" a direct contradiction of Figler's assertion that the End Bad Breath poster is obscure and little known? (Forget the fact that there isn't a "well known" threshold something has to cross before it can be parodied.) I ask him.

Figler:

No, because the general public, which you "serve" (as journalists used to say) knows jack sh** about the source of the image presented as original. But, as trendy-attitude-folks still say, tiringly, "WHATEVER!"

Enjoy. Over and out.

I think we should assign this man a feature, stat. Perhaps on "trendy-attitude-folks."

I don’t see how a lecture on the history of Rock, Paper, Scissors (RPS) could be interesting. At all. In fact, it’s such a banal topic, so boring, so tedious, that the exectution of such a lecture just might be… perversely fascinating.

Tonight, in the vein of the old Lecture Series at the Lab (c. 2002), Gabriel Mindel Saloman of Cex Fuckx and the Yellow Swans will lecture about just that—the origins of RPS. If you’ve never been to a hipster lecture of this sort before, it’s an interesting cultural outing in which sincerity and deadpan crosspolinate, as somebody gives a fairly informed lecture about an obscure topic. The tension that’s created between the casualness of the social situation (here, a rocker at a coffee shop) and the formality of the presentation is the real draw; I doubt that most people would even bother to read an online article about RPS history, but it becomes a lot more intriguing when the lesson is removed from its natural context.

Saloman’s lecture is at 7 pm this evening at the Downtown Stumptown, 128 SW 3rd.

And if you’re interested in getting a leg up on the impromptu RPS games sure to break out after the lecture, read about how to win (and cheat) at RPS here.

Those who know me know my fascination and adoration of J-Pop (Japanese pop music) and in particular the boy band RIP SLYME. Here’s another one of their wildly creative and super fun dance singles, “Galaxy in the Groove.” Just the thing to perk up those post-lunch blahs! (Plus it has finger puppets. Yay!)

Hooked on RIP SLYME as much as I am? Here’s more.

Time for some sensory overload, courtesy of this brand new video for “Woof & Warp of the Quiet Giant’s Hem, ” by Blitzen Trapper. The video shows that to get the full value of your admission to Wunderland, you might as well film a video in the place. Hopefully they didn’t pay for this thing with all those leftover nickels.

Re: Scott’s post below, in which he mentions “at Plan B (which, until very, very recently, was Acme) at SE 8th and Main”

Forgive me, as I’ve been on vacation for the past couple of weeks, but this is news to me. Plan B? Like… the morning after pill? (Yes, I realize it’s an old phrase, but Google it—the drug gets all the top hits.)

Sorry, when you put “Plan B” together with a bar—which, I’d argue, is where situations that lead to needing a morning after pill usually kick off—that’s all I can think of. They should keep a stash of the stuff behind the bar—or create a drink around it. Scott suggests calling it “The One Night Stand.”

More than two years ago, I covered the first Motorcycle and Scooter Forum at Amnesia, and not being a motorcycle or scooter rider, I was immediately hit with one of two things: Either motorcycle and scooter riders are the crotchetiest group of people you could gather in one room, or they’ve been pretty well screwed by the city.

As the night progressed and I chatted with many of the attendees, I realized that their gripes were totally legitimate—for years, the city had ignored their concerns, specifically leading to a major lack of parking options, especially downtown. Plus, it was one of the first organized events where riders could sound off about city and state policies, and they had a lot of built-up frustration.

Fast-(or slow)-forward to this past May, when the city finally created a Motorcycle and Scooter Advisory Committee, which is designed to take input from riders in order to inform city policies that affect them. Riiiiiight, another advisory committee? Roll your eyes, but these have proved enormously successful for other groups, like the far more organized bicycle community.

The committee is still accepting applications through July 16—you can find out about the process here. But before that happens, a second Moto Forum is going down tomorrow evening at 7pm at Plan B (which, until very, very recently, was Acme) at SE 8th and Main. It’ll likely revisit some of the same complaints as the last forum, but, this time, there’s actually the possibility of impacting city policies.

I noticed a new restaurant cropping up at 719 SE Morrison (by Adam Arnold’s studio), the Morrison Hotel. Anyone have the word on what’s up with that place?

It looks like this… but with less doors and more windows.

From Michael Ruhlman’s blog (where you’ll find more musings on how accurately the film captures “kitchen culture”), by way of Diner’s Journal:

“I think it’s quite simply the best food movie ever made,” [Anthony Bourdain] wrote today in an email. “The best restaurant movie ever made—the best chef movie. The tiny details are astonishing: The faded burns on the cooks’ wrists. The “personal histories” of the cooks…the attention paid to the food…And the Anton Ego ratatouille epiphany hit me like a punch in the chest—literally breathtaking. I saw it in a theater entirely full with adults—and the reaction to that moment was what movie making was once—a long time ago—all about: Audible surprise, delight, awe and even a measure of enlightenment. I am hugely and disproportionately proud that my miniscule contribution (if any) early early in the project’s development led to a “thank you” in the credits. Amazing how much they got “right.”

Agree? Disagree? Best food movie ever?

Not much to say about this one… Hilarity ensues when David Letterman demonstrates a new Transformers toy (which is pretty cool by the way) that doesn’t work the way it’s supposed to, so he spends the next two minutes simulating masturbation.
I’m sorry… BUT IT’S FUNNY.

MusicFest NW just announced the lineup for this year’s festivities, and it’s looking pretty goddamn amazing. The festival—sponsored by Nike, Comcast (hmm, who else am I missing here?)—runs from September 6-9th at various venues all over town. Highlights include Clipse (not to be confused with The Clipes), Roky Erickson, Lifetime, Aesop Rock, Okkervil River & tons more! For the comically long list of performers (all 117 of ‘em), click the jump.

MP3: Okkervil River - Our Life Is Not A Movie Or Maybe (from their new album, The Stage Names, out August 7th)

31Knots
Adrian Orange
Aesop Rock
American Princes
Anders Parker
Aqueduct
Atole
Au
Balkan Beat Box (DJ Set)
Birds of Avalon
Black Elk
Bobby Conn
Brian Jonestown Massacre
Broadway Calls
Cabinessence
Casey Neil & The Norway Rats
Chris Tsefalas
Climber
Clipse
Copy
Dakota Slim
Damien Jurado
Dan Deacon
DAT'R
Deerhunter
Derby
Dimmer
Dirty Mittens
Dirty Projectors
DJ Anjali
DJ Beyonda
DJ Gregarious
Dolorean
Drunken Prayer
E3
Eric Bachmann
Eskimo Sons
Ethan Rose
Eugene Mirman
Fist Fite
Floater
Gerald Collier
Gingerbread Patriots
Girl Talk
Grizzly Bear
Helio Sequence
Herman Jolly
High Violets
Holy Fuck
Horse Feathers
Immaculate Machine
Jackie-O Motherfucker
Jared Mess
Jason Lytle of Grandaddy
John Weinland
Jonah
Kleveland
Kurt Hagardorn
Laura Gibson
Legend Of Dutch Savage
Lifesavas
Lifetime
LKN
Loch Lomond
Logan Lynn
M.Quiet
Michael Dean Damron & Thee Loyal Bastards
Narwhal vs. Narwhal
Oh Captain, My Captain
Okkervil River
Old Time Relijun
Patterson Hood of The Drive By Truckers
Pierced Arrows
Pistola
Pride Tiger
Pseudosix
Pure Country Gold
Red Fang
Richmond Fontaine
Riddenpaa
Roky Erickson
Sandpeople
Shook Ones
Sinking Ships
Siren's Echo
Sketchy Ted
Sky Cries Mary
Spoon
Starfucker
Suffrajet
The Blakes
The Blue Scholars
The Bronx
The Brunettes
The Builders and the Butchers
The Crosswalks
The Dt's
The Fucking Champs
The Hugs
The Incredible Kid
The Minus 5
The New Trust
The Nice Boys
The Obituaries
The Retrofits
The Shaky Hands
The Thermals
The Upsidedown
The Wherewithals
Thrones
Tiny Vipers
Typhoon
Velella Velella
White Rainbow
Wolf Parade
Yacht

Today’s Top Story: Ummmmmmm… still hot.
In related news: Girls look good in shorts.

In other news:
• SNAP! Yet another Republican has joined Oregon Sen. Gordon Smith to support a bill that would get our troops out of Iraq. That’s two down, 49 to go.

• SNAP! At a town hall meeting in Ohio, President Bush made a shy, 13-year-old girl cry. WOW. Can he be any more of a dick?

• SNAP! Victoria Beckham (nee Posh Spice) is a HUUUUUGE star in London. Unfortunately, that don’t mean shit here in America. U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

• SNAP! Did we mention it’s HOT today? Then it might be a perfect time to celebrate 7-11’s 80th birthday by dropping by for a FREE SLURPEE. (The drink, not the sexual act.)

A month ago, small business owner/non-profit director Charles Lewis announced he was running for city council—running for the seat currently occupied by Sam Adams. He was clear that he expected Tom Potter to not run for reelection, and for Adams to run for mayor, leaving the seat open. But he pledged to run for the seat no matter what Potter or Adams decided.

It set up an interesting political dynamic; Lewis was an Adams supporter, having volunteered on his campaign for city council. And Adams was the second person he told when he decided to run. Still it’s difficult to run a successful campaign when you don’t know exactly what your target is, and Lewis had a gamble to make—he could coast until September, especially since he’ll have a hard time gathering supporters/volunteers while Adams is still undecided, or he could come out of the gate swinging against Adams, a politician he says he admires.

The risk of the first approach is that Lewis could fall off the radar while playing nice; the risk of the second is that he could get drawn into a campaign against a popular politician, when it might not even be necessary.

Starting tomorrow, though, it looks like the gloves are coming off. Lewis is holding an informal press conference at his house in the Cully neighborhood, to fill potholes in a dirt road and talk about the problems with Adams’ current push for increased transportation funding. His main argument is that taxpayers shouldn’t pay any more in fees or taxes unless there’s “increased accountability, long term planning, and a creative mindset.”

He’s even attacking the town hall meetings that Adams has been holding:

To begin with, while city hall insiders received early notification of the meetings, many in the general public were mailed notices after the meetings already started taking place. In addition, a press release for the town hall meetings was not released until the day prior to the first meeting.

Critics are also concerned that the presentations were confusing and misleading. The town hall meetings highlighted significant transportation problems including freeway congestion, decrepit bridges across the Willamette, and unpaved roads, yet these issues aren’t in the city government’s list of responsibilities. Freeways are run by the state, most of the bridges across the river are owned by Multnomah County, and individual property owners are responsible for paving their own streets. The new tax proposals do very little to improve these identified problems, leaving many asking why they were identified in the first place.

As I said, the gloves are off.

Coincidentally, about an hour ago, Adams’ office emailed out an announcement that early survey results from the town halls were now posted on his website—and that the 250 or so people who filled out surveys were supportive of all but one of Adams’ funding ideas.

That may seem innocuous, but the timing could be seen as trying to get a jump on media coverage of Lewis’ press conference.

If I’m not mistaken, this could be the first shot fired in the 2008 city council race.

Yesterday’s anti-war rally at Holladay Park seemed to come and go almost unnoticed by the public at large.

I’ve seen nothing about it in the Oregonian, the Willamette Week, or the Portland Tribune. I admit to not watching TV news—more for time reasons than disdain—but I don’t recall seeing any news vans there. Admittedly, I didn’t come until 4:30 p.m. after the crowd’s visit to the U.S. Armed Forces recruitment center on NE Broadway.

It wasn’t the largest rally I’ve ever seen; there were maybe fifty people there. But drivers who were passing by honked and flashed peace symbols at the marchers. There was support for their cause. (And there were no hecklers, which surprised me.)

But no one new joined in by the time we arrived at the park.

Pedestrians kept their distance. They watched as if the rally was some strange, exotic animal that was just passing through the area. Especially the youth debarking the MAX. Their faces showed brief amusement, if any, before they continued on towards the Lloyd Center Mall for their daily Cinnabun.

Now, you think with a public that clearly thinks going to Iraq was a mistake (as illustrated here), there would be a larger turnout for the event. Or at least some press coverage. I don't know if they sent news releases to any news organization, but it wasn't too hard to find out about the event--I found out about it through a large flyer posted outside Powell's on Burnside. Posters were also up throughout the Northeast Portland area and around PSU.

So, where the hell was the anti-war support? It's summer and I didn't even see a large turnout of college kids. Is the anti-war march out of style? Is it media-related? What?

I have my own theories, but I'm curious what everyone else thinks.

First time ever. Niiiiice.

Remember that private dinner that Equality Now is having with Joss Whedon in San Diego? Guess how much the individual seats are selling for on eBay right now? (Hint: It’s a buttload.) And there’s still two more days of bidding to go!

The answer is after the jump.

From $7,000 to $7,400!! That's a lot of Buffy comics.

You may have heard about that little segment Bill O’Reilly aired last week about the growing trend of violent lesbian gangs. It had all the makings of great news—blood, girl fights, reverse-gay-bashing, etc. But, oh yeah, ha ha, turns out that what it was lacking was fact.

In a surprising twist, O’Reilly acknowledged that his show completely made up the story. Well, sorta. Up first is the original piece, followed by a weak retraction and interview with GLAAD spokesperson Rashad Robinson, who does his best to try to talk some sense into O’Reilly.

The best part? You can tell O’Reilly knows how full of shit he and his show are.

Right on cue, the conservatives are lining up to pick apart Michael Moore’s new film about the health care industry, Sicko. But they’ll have to wait in line, because in this video from CNN’s The Situation Room, Michael stops talking about health care and starts HAMMERING Wolf Blitzer, CNN, and the media in general for their role in the continuation of the war against Iraq. (Don’t miss Sicko, and be sure to check out our review of Moore’s awesome film.)

I almost swerved the Honda into a gaggle of cyclists when I saw The Last Picture Show on the marquee of the Laurelhurst earlier this week: Peter Bogdonavich’s 1971 adaptation of the Larry McMurtry novel might be my favorite film (alongside Five Easy Pieces) of Hollywood’s director-driven “New Wave” era of the late ’60s and early ’70s.

Picture Show was the first major film to have been shot in black and white (at the urgings of Orson Wells) in over a decade, and stars a remarkably young (and hot) Cybil Shepard and Jeff Bridges as teenagers on the cusp of adulthood in a choky, dying Texas town during the Korean War. It’s an amazing character study, full of sexual tensions, frustrations, secrets, boredom, and mystery, told with a frank directness jumps out sharply from the polite conventions of small town, black and white films set in the early ’50s.

Thanks to the Laurelhurst and their “Films from the ’70s in July” series for screening it.

the trailer:

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix comes out tomorrow, but our print review of the film won’t hit the streets until Thursday. But… what if you’re planning on joining wizard rock band Harry and the Potters in catching the midnight showing at Loyd Center tonight after their Wonder Ballroom show, and you want to hear about the movie NOW? Quietus, little nerdlings, quietus. You can read the review now if you want, so you know what awaits you tonight.

If you don’t feel like reading the review, here’s everything you need to know:

1. Draco Malfoy Got Hot
2. Ron Weasley Got Even Hotter
3. Hermione Granger Got Less Hot

A week from today will see the release of Two Ghosts, the excellent new record from Boy Eats Drum Machine. If this news excites you, and you love videos that features lots of dismantled technology, then have a look at the above video for “3000 Flares.”

Did I mention a car-load of smoking teenagers tried to kill me today? Oh, yeah. Anyway, since you may also be tempted to kill someone with your car, I would ask that you please stop, take a moment, and think of this adorable puppy