You’d think that after everything, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales would be completely hosed, especially now, after it looks like he might have been caught lying under oath. But, since Bush is in charge, he’ll probably get a promotion.

Meanwhile, the House Judiciary Committee has called for contempt charges against Harriet Miers and Josh Bolten. But is the effort doomed?

SPOILER ALERT! Over at MSNBC, J.K. Rowling is spilling the details of what happens to Harry Potter and his friends after book seven. I don’t want to ruin it for you, but it sounds like a very bored woman is just pulling things out of her ass.

Are your friends fat? You could be next!

Here’s one cat you don’t want to see. “Oscar,” who lives in a nursing home in Rhode Island, has apparently been at the bedside of more than 25 residents right before they died. The doctors think Oscar can detect pending death, but they’ve skipped over the most obvious explanation—the cat is sucking the life out of the patients in order to go on living. Maybe I’ve been watching too much Buffy.

Oh snap! Michael is coming back for the fourth season of Lost.