LIBBY: Hurled headlong flaming from th’ ethereal sky/With hideous ruin and combustion down…BUT PRISON WOULD BE “EXCESSIVE…”

1.INJUSTICE! President George Bush lets his Vice President’s former most senior aide, Scooter Libby, avoid prison for lying to a Grand Jury about exposing as a spy the wife of a US Ambassador who accused Bush of twisting intelligence as the basis for going to war in Iraq. Complicated, eh?! Well, I don’t know about you, but this decision makes me want to rip out my own heart and eat it. It simplifies things.

2.JUSTICE! Vladimir Golovan, henchman to former Portland city council candidate, the Antichrist Emilie Boyles (all I’m saying is, she’s clearly nuts, let’s leave her alone now, eh?) was found guilty on 10 of the 12 charges against him yesterday.

3.TERROR! Patient:”Doctor, doctor, there’s a pain in my head.” Doctor:”Take these two Advil and then, how about I blow you up? That should take care of it. Yes…”

4.RICH! Mexican oil tycoon Carlos Slim has overtaken Bill Gates and Warren Buffet as the world’s richest man. Now there’s a nice, heartwarming story to restore your faith in the human condition. If it’s any consolation, things will probably improve tomorrow.

Good day!