God I’m so sick of blogging about Transfomers. So this a.m. decided I wasn’t going to write about how the movie’s already made $80 gazillion, or how people seem to either love it or hate it: I’ve had a few people come up and tell me “That was awesome!”, but then again, we also got this email:

Dear Merc,

You LIKED Transformers? Are you shitting me!? The movie was two hours of military masturbation mixed with horrible dialogue which clawed at every wall of the pit it dug itself into with jokes that sucked so much balls I was ready to leave. Dogs peeing on Transformers, Transformers peeing on people, a mother trying to make funny with PG-13 neutered masturbation slang does NOT make a movie feel “quick and fun” but rather TURTLE-WEARING-HOCKEY-SKATES-CRAWLING-THROUGH-
PEANUT-BUTTER-ON-MY-BACK SLOW. My recommendation is arrive 2 hours late, catch the only awesome part which is robots fighting/why you came in the first place and skip the horrible shit that happens before.

Doug Young

So okay. No more giant robot-related posts on Blogtown, right? But then… well, today we got a review copy of the Transformers soundtrack in the mail, and it features probably the worst song ever recorded ever. (The disc also features Linkin Park, Disturbed, and the Goo Goo Dolls.) Christian rockers Mute Math’s cover of the ’80s Transformers theme isn’t in the film, and there’s a good reason: It’s too crappy. Yes. Even for Michael Bay. (Keep in mind that yes, Michael Bay really does have [A] A dog peeing on a Transformer and [B] A Transformer peeing on a person in his film.) In conclusion, this song is so bad that we decided we had to post it. We just had to. It is that bad.

CAN YOU HANDLE IT?!?!?!?!?! Consider this a test.

Mute Math - Transformers Theme