Your grandparents are still getting their freak on. “The research found that sexual appetite declines only slightly between the ages of 50 and 70, with many men and women practising vaginal intercourse, oral sex and masturbation well into their 70s and 80s.” Good morning!

Bank of America gave Countrywide Financial “a $2 billion injection of cash” to shore up the mortgage lender. Hey BofA! Can I have $100? It would really shore up my weekend plans.

Is Britney Spears going to take the li’l Federlines and run off to France? “Kevin feels she could pull it off with enough money and the right connections!”

Liberals read more books than conservatives: “The Karl Roves of the world have built a generation that just wants a couple slogans: ‘No, don’t raise my taxes, no new taxes,’” Pat Schroeder, president of the American Association of Publishers, said in a recent interview. “It’s pretty hard to write a book saying, ‘No new taxes, no new taxes, no new taxes’ on every page.”

Bush finally wakes up, realizes that situation we’ve got in Iraq is a lot like Vietnam. “Bush’s historic examples also included a negative reference to Vietnam and Cambodia, which he said collapsed into chaos after U.S. troops left. Bush said that would happen in Iraq if U.S. forces withdrew prematurely and left a terrorist state that could threaten the United States.”

Portland vacancy rates and condo conversions are putting the squeeze on renters, says the Oregonian. Who knew? (Oh, wait… we did. Last December, and in half a dozen follow up stories. But I digress.)