This is surveillance photography of our intern, Tom, going off to begin a night’s drinking as part of our upcoming drinking issue, with former Mercury staffer, the legendary Katie Shimer as his drinking coach. She’s under strict instructions to drop him off at an emergency room with a note pinned to his chest, should anything go “wrong.” Or should that be, “if anything goes right?” Who knows. So long, Tom—it’s been good, if brief, to know you.
INTERN (left), with DRINKING COACH (right)…

IT’S NOT TOO LATE, TOM. YOU CAN STILL CHANGE YOUR MIND!

TOM? TOM? TOOOOOMMMM!!!!!! NOOOOOOOO!!!!
IT’S OVER. THE END. FIN. FINITO. DONE. GOODBYE…