From the old inbox:
“hi chas. Here’s an art show thats sure to stir up a bit of a ruckus.”

If by “a bit of a ruckus,” you mean my lunch, you’re absolutely right.

“The Core”, a 3 and a half foot tall gallery in the Everett Station Lofts, will be converted into a giant uterus with a vagina for a door. Head first if you dare. Lots of red satin to gestate in, a glowing fertilized egg to ogle, and a soundtrack that makes you want to eat and shit through an umbilical cord again.

Years ago, I paid my dues at art school and sat around critiques for what seemed like eternity while people searched for something constructive to say about turning a broom closet into a vagina. Believe me, if I was so emotionally damaged that I sat around wishing that I could crawl back through my mother’s birth canal (I can’t believe I just wrote that), trying to replicate that experience on the sidewalk in Portland’s Chinatown as a grown man might be such a huge disconnect that I’d take that umbilical cord and wrap it around my throat. Yes, young artists—all long pointy things are dicks and all bowls, chambers, and holes are vaginas. So please spare me the displeasure of reading “If you’re not afraid of large woman-parts, squeeze back out with a new perspective.”

The Womb Room opens tonight at the Core, 625 NW Everett, #230, 6-10 pm