Oh Christ, anybody else see this?

Our friends at the Fourth Reich have listed us in their “Local Blogs” blog roll, but the URL they link to is actually the Honey Bucket website!

Like, you know, how we linked them to the AARP website a year ago?

Those kids at WW are a laff riot!

In yesterday’s download of my Interstate rename notes, there was mention of a public comment in the form of a poem. However, that Arbor Lodge Neighborhood Association meeting had a 30-second comment rule, sparking a five minute debate on whether or not the poet would be able to read her poem. She eventually did read the poem, after another neighbor ceded their time to her.

I’ve obtained the poem—which also ran on the front page of the St. Johns Review—and in a flagrant disregard for the “no poetry” rules here at the Portland Mercury, here you go!

“Please, Don’t Rename Streets!”
by Glenda A. Haynes

Please listen. Please hear me. I must say my piece!
This renaming of North Portland Streets, it must cease!
I speak for the “Names of Streets”, known all my life
that hold history, dignity, prosperity, and strife.
Cesar Chavez should be honored in some way, no doubt…
Just don’t ask my old friend, “Interstate Avenue”, to move out!
Pay tribute with something new, still being planned,
Our great city of Portland will grow and expand
to accommodate names of pioneers we adore…
Please, wait a while longer! Please, listen some more!
Why, “Rosa Parks Way” and “MLK Jr.” replace
the thoroughfares two of my old friends used to grace.
“Portland Blvd.” and “Union Avenue” are names gone for all time…
Please, Please, don’t take any more old friends of mine!
Be patient! Your heroes will shine bright one day,
without costs for ‘renaming’ that taxpayers must pay!
I’m hopeful my old friends can stop being afraid
of fading from memory, while new ones are made.
These streets where so many have proudly called home…
Please, don’t take their names! Please, Please, leave them alone!

Who caught last night’s season premiere of The Office? Here’s a funny scene in which Michael forces the employees to participate in a 5K “Fun Run” to benefit the hospitalized Meredith who was diagnosed with rabies… but was actually hit by a car… driven by Michael. Fave line: “He’s not happy, he’s INSANE.”

BTW, the big argument on the interweb today goes like this, “Is NBC slowly killing The Office by forcing them to do one-hour episodes?” Discuss.

This in today from Jim Parker, who is in the process of opening his Green Dragon brewpub in southeast (the space is currently only half open as construction on one side finishes up):

Thanks to Ninkasi Brewing’s “Sweet Little F***er” Jamie Floyd and our good buddies at Maletis Beverage, The Green Dragon will pour Portland’s first keg of Ninkasi Ceridwen Harvest Lager starting at 5 p.m. today. The beer, named for a Welsh goddess, is a Dortmunder-style lager.

We’re still operating on our abbreviated beer and food menus as we wrap up construction on the pub side. But a chance to pour this great lager was too good to delay.

Jim Parker
Publican/brewer
Green Dragon Bistro & Brewpub

Green Dragon, 938 S.E. Ninth Ave., currently serving pastries/coffee from 7 am, lunch 11 am-3 pm, a limited beer/wine/booze selection til 10

His father was a famous actor who will always be remember for this role. His mother was a well-respected artist, who died in the most tragic of ways.

So it’s safe to say that the life of Elvis Perkins has been anything but ordinary. His songs on the debut long-player Ash Wednesday, are stark and mournful, the tales of an artist who has seen a lot over the past 31 years.

Here is Perkins and his backing band (they go under the moniker Elvis Perkins in Dearland) performing live on Letterman.

Elvis Perkins in Dearland perform tonight at the Roseland.

Just got back from a screening of Wes Anderson’s newest, The Darjeeling Limited. I kind of loved it. I’ve always had a great affection towards Anderson’s films, but while a lot of people like his earlier stuff more than his later stuff, I’ve had the opposite reaction.

So I was expecting to like this one, and I did. In a lot of ways it’s the loosest of Anderson’s movies: Plot-wise it’s rambly and exploratory, flitting in and out of situations both comedic and tragic, with the expected gorgeous cinematography, production design, and music. (As Ezra mentioned earlier.) We’ll have a full review when the film opens (October 12), but what strikes me right now is simply how genuine the film feels. Darjeeling might be the slightest of Anderson’s films, thus far—at least on its first viewing, there’s not as much to think about or get wrapped up in as his earlier works. But still: Anderson catches a lot of shit for his hyper-detailed design and excessive stylization, but more often than not, and this includes Darjeeling, he backs it up with beautiful characters and authentic emotions, and there are some really beautiful and moving moments in the film.

But this is important: If you want to see The Darjeeling Limited, first watch “Hotel Chevalier,” the short film written and directed by Anderson that serves as a prequel to the film. It’s available for free via iTunes right here. “Hotel Chevalier” is billed as “Part One of The Darjeeling Limited,” and while you’re hardly going to be lost if you just go see Darjeeling without having seen “Chevalier,” you’ll be glad if you watch it. The short film, which stars Jason Schwartzman and my future wife, Natalie Portman, doesn’t seem like much at the time, but there’s some background stuff in it that pays off in unexpected ways in Darjeeling. For some annoying reason, they aren’t showing the short in front of the film in theaters, so just go ahead and download it already.

Plus, it’s got a naked Natalie Portman in it! Or, well, she’s close enough to naked, anyway. And that’s just about the highest recommendation I can give. Some critics use stars or grades to rate films; from here on out, I’m just going to use Naked Natalie Portmans. It’s the highest recommendation I can give, and so far—alas—I can only give it to one film. Congrats, “Hotel Chevalier”!

P.S. In less sexy but tangentially related news, Anderson’s stop-motion Fantastic Mr. Fox adaptation is moving forward with a hell of a cast. I’m assuming/hoping that Henry Selick is involved. I fully expect it to be awesome. (But will it earn a Naked Natalie Portman? Only time will tell.)

Just got the news: Next Wednesday, October 3, City Commissioner Sam Adams will announce that he’s running for mayor.

The announcement will be an informal event at 5:30 pm at Roots Organic Brewing Company (1520 SE 7th), one of the 100 or so businesses Adams visited during his first 100 days in office. A more formal campaign kickoff will happen in the next month.

“It’s time to get going,” he says.

And with that, the campaign floodgates are open. Expect to see multiple campaign announcements for the seat he’s vacating in the coming weeks.

Update: Adams says he will not be using the city’s Voter-Owned Elections program in his race.

“Even though I’m supportive of the program, because I voted to institute it, it has the appearance of a conflict of interest,” he says. (Erik Sten might have a little trouble with that reasoning.)

What he will do, however, is limit each individual contribution to $500, and overall contributions to $200,000, the amount that mayoral candidates get under the VOE public campaign financing program. He’ll collect and spend more if another candidate goes over that amount, or if there are “independent expenditures” against him.

It’s not quite Potter For Mayor levels of contribution limits, but it’s a far cry from previous mayoral campaigns, which have raised millions.

David Lynch does a Gucci ad, and Blondie’s “Heart of Glass” has never sounded creepier.
Plus, check out the spectacular nipple-y light fixtures!

In this sports anchor’s defense, paralyzed guys in wheelchairs do look a lot alike.

On Wednesday, local transportation activist Chris Smith kicked off his campaign with a press conference in front of Skidmore Fountain, with MAX trains running past him. I had to miss it, since I was at a press pre-briefing for the fake disaster that’s going to befall our city in two and a half weeks, but thanks to the wonder of the internet, here’s the YouTube clip of his speech:

You can read the transcript over at his website, and an interview with him by Jonathan Maus at BikePortland.org.

Almost as if timed by a magical transit-loving deity, two reports have dropped this week that should bolster Smith’s early campaign days. As I wrote in the paper this week, Smith will be a hit among the urbanist, pro-density, alternative transportation crowd, but will probably be Public Enemy No. 1 among the pro-sprawl, pro-car, more freeways set. Like the followers of Jim Karlock, Randall O’Toole, and libertarian think tank Cato Institute, which published a paper last July called “Debunking Portland,” written by O’Toole, criticizing Portland’s planning, public transportation, and Urban Growth Boundary.

A week ago, however, a group called Congress for the New Urbanism released its own report, called “Debunking Cato: Why Planning in Portland Works Better Than the Analysis of Its Chief Neo-Libertarian Critic,” disproving each of O’Toole’s arguments. It’s an enlightening, easy-to-follow read that clocks in at about 13 pages, and shows that Portland’s enormously popular planning and transportation policies (that’s part of why you moved here, right?) have put the city in a position far more preferable than average urban areas.

The second report that should benefit Smith is the Portland Department of Transportation’s annual bike count (pdf). Unsurprisingly, the count showed big gains in bicycle ridership. The highlights:

Bicycle use in Portland showed a double‐digit increase for the third straight year.

• Bicycles represent 18% of all vehicles on the Hawthorne Bridge and 11% of vehicles on the four bicycle‐friendly Willamette River bridges.

• Bicycle traffic in Portland has more than doubled since 2001.

• Helmet use has risen steadily since the 1990’s, with 76% of recorded cyclists wearing helmets in 2007, up from 63% in 1997.

• Women represented 31% of all cyclists, up from 26% in 1997.

• While bicycle counts in March are approximately half those of the summer, they are still higher than the summer counts recorded in 2000.

For all of the “debunking,” the numbers are pretty clear—more people are riding their bikes, more people are taking public transportation (including light rail and streetcar), and more people are moving to Portland for its sustainable ideals. If it were otherwise, someone like Chris Smith wouldn’t stand a chance in the election.

In response to Mayor Tom Potter’s letter chastising neighbors over the Interstate rename issue, North Portland resident Lynn Roberts has written back, offering “an alternative point of view”—namely, the disrespect residents have felt over the issue.

Mayor Potter,

This letter you have recently penned does not accurately represent what I observed at these neighborhood meetings.

Supporters of the Chavez committee were disrespectful in many ways. There were snide comments, and a defiant and aggressive attitude that was very thinly veiled, and at times not at all, with condescension.

The woman who was representing El Hispanic newspaper went so far as to comment, “oh, we’ll take that too”, when one neighbor offered support to their efforts to honor Chavez, but perhaps through the naming of the new library scheduled to be built in Kenton.

The lack of cooperative effort on the side of the Chavez committee, statements the committee members themselves made during the presentation, “we are coming, we are here, we are not going away”…this type of comment rarely brings positive dialogue, but rather feels like some strange aggressive threat or attempt at the intimidation factor, which no one responds to with any good will.

I understand you support this cause, but I also hope you can see both sides….and to understand that the people living and working in North Portland have a history and a community they are proud of and committed to honoring. I would think that should make you proud as our mayor to see this community/neighborhood working so hard to retain its history and to come together as a strong community of neighbors. I would have thought you would have supported and fostered these efforts, as it shows North Portland’s population CARES about its neighborhood.

North Portland has worked hard to bring itself to where it is today…a place where people WANT to live. The people who have worked hard to make this a community of strength and life deserve some recognition. One way we can do that is to honor their wishes.

The overwhelming majority has spoken its opposition for this effort, and has made many attempts to work to find an alternate solution……I hope we can work together to honor this North Portland community’s wishes rather than continue to create anger and the general feeling of a lack of empowerment felt by the people who live within it.

Lynn Roberts,
North Portland resident

Baseball is a 162 game season which, if you include Spring Training and the World Series, stretches from February to November. Even as a huge fan, it’s easy to understand why people get a little bored with this slow-moving sport and it’s three hour games.

But right now, as the season comes to a close, baseball is suddenly pretty damn exciting. Seven teams are battling it out for a couple playoff spots and the New York Mets are on the cusp of one of the greatest collapses in baseball history. In honor of all my friends who unfortunately root for the Mets, I give you a song that will shed some light in your time of darkness.

MP3:
1986 New York Mets - Lets Get Metsmerized

Tim Teufel spits fire on the mic!

As you may know, there was a bit of a problem with Friday’s music listings in the paper (thanks a lot, printers). Of course, you can always check Found It! for all your listing needs. Or consult the handy-dandy Best Bet List below.

FRIDAY
The Artistery–Artistery Sixth Anniversary: Evolutionary Jass Band, The Watery Graves, Angelo Spencer, Baptist Arms, 7:30 pm, $5, all ages
Berbati’s Pan–Science of Yabra, Drats!!!, Lickity
Community Music Center–Free Marz String Trio, 8 pm, free
Dante’s–Dick Dale, Federale, The Nice Boys, 9:30 pm, $20
Doug Fir–Tony Furtado Band, Jim Brunberg, 9 pm, $13-15
Liberty Hall–Siren Nation Benefit: Harvest Hoedown: Caroline Oakley, Round Peak Girls, 8 pm, $5, all ages
Music Millennium Eastside–Dick Dale, 6 pm, free, all ages
Portland State University–The Rainy States, noon, free, all ages
Roseland–Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, Elvis Perkins, 9 pm, $15-17, all ages
Slabtown–The Bugs, Lana Rebel, The Makes Nice, Frank Furter & The Hotdogs, 9 pm
Tonic Lounge–Wow & Flutter, Yeltsin, Mostly Bears, 9:30 pm
Towne Lounge–Numbers, Vanishing Kids, Swim Swam Swum, Reverse Dotty & The Candy Cane Shivs, 9 pm, $8
Trust… a Lounge–Trust This: DJ Joee Irwin, 8 pm, free
Wonder Ballroom–PWCL Benefit: Blubird, DJ Anjali, 6:30 pm, $25

Check out Saturday and Sunday’s best-bets after the jump.

SATURDAY
Berbati's Pan–Fernando, Luther Russell, 9 pm, $10
Branx–Dance Offs: DJ Flash Cadillac, Mr. Morgan, 10 pm, $3
Crystal Ballroom–The Black Crowes, Buffalo Killers, 9 pm, $35-39.50, all ages
Daddies Board Shop–Jesse Samsel Band, noon, free, all ages
Doug Fir–Midlake, Maria Taylor, 9 pm, $13
Ground Kontrol–Reaganomix: Moan, The Beauty, Operation Mission
Holocene–Danava, Wolves in the Throne Room, Thrones, The Better to See You With, 9 pm, $8
The Know–Late Night Curly, Dream Team Scream Cream, No Go Know, 7 pm, free
Les Schwab Amphitheater (Bend)–Kenny Rogers, 6 pm, $32-69, all ages
Mississippi Studios–A Weather, Matt Sheehy, Gingerbread Patriots, 9 pm, $7
The Recyclery–Bike Swap: DJ Elvis Panther, 1 pm, free
Red Room–Denelian, Gunshot Whiskey, The Hand That Bleeds, 9 pm
Roseland–The A'Z, Mistah F.A.B., The Jacka, 8 pm, all ages
Rotture–Play Dead: Fannie Mae Darling, 8 pm, $3; Cacophony: A Minority of One, Noise Poet Nobody, Briana Chittenden, Redbird, Sleeping w/the Earth, Cult of Zir, Serpentine, Critical Theatre, 10 pm
Tonic Lounge–Stumptown Comicfest Party: Tractor Operator, Fox Hollow, The Morals, 9:30 pm
Wonder Ballroom-Studio Catwalk's Rock 'n' Roll Fantasy: Julian's Ride, Tracy Klas, Sweety, Western Aerial, 9 pm, $10

SUNDAY
Ash Street Saloon–Pirate-Style Elvis Bash: Darlins, Paper Cameras, Misery Magnet, DJ Mee'oww, My Own Black Eye, 9:30 pm, $5
Beulahland–Eye Candy Sundays: VJ Norto, The Phantom Hillbilly, 10 pm, free
Branx–Yellow Swans, Mouthus, Trees, 10 pm, $5
Doug Fir–Gruff Rhys, Her Space Holiday, xoxo, panda, 9 pm, $12-13
Ground Kontrol–Black Sunday: Twin, Fist Fite, Sick Sick Sister, DJ Nate C, 9:30 pm, $5
Holocene–Ethan Rose, Concert Silence, Mbilly, 9 pm, $6
Someday Lounge–The Shaky Hands, Narwhal vs. Narwhal, Shelley Short, Alan Singley & Pants Machine, 9 pm, $8
Valentine's–Plankton Wat, Hammer of Hathor, Mudbow, 9 pm, free

The Japanese streetwear company Uniqlo is throwing a party tonight at the Ace Hotel. Wanna go? Follow instructions!:

RSVP at pdxjapan@acehotel.com Title the email ‘Art of Travel Guestlist’ and add your names to get entrance! There’s free booze and snacks, it will be so great. Lots of super cute Japanistas are flying in for this event, so come represent.

More about the exhibit/party:
In celebration of the recent collaboration between the ACE Hotel and
UNIQLO in Japan, the ACE is hosting a VIP Party for the kick off of
the “Art of Travel” gallery show in the hotel’s event space on the
corner of 10th and Stark in downtown Portland.

It’s this Friday September 28th, 9:30pm-late! Come check out original
pieces for sale by Amy Ruppel, Justin “Scrappers” Morrison, Evan B
Harris, Shawn Wolfe, David Kaul, Brent Wick, Jeremy Pelley, Philip
Iosca, Sarah Gottesdiener, Liza Rietz and Storm Tharp.

Music by Kanda, the CHROMATICS, and lovely miss Beyonda.
Photos by Rhys (Cute Alert!)!

Just make sure you email pdxjapan@acehotel.com to RSVP so you can come
in and party.

If you need a place to get your afterparty on, call up the Ace Hotel
Portland, mention UNIQLO And get a 10% discount on your room.

P.S. If you can’t make the party the exhibition runs from Sept. 29-Oct
2, 11am-7pm

Get more fashion 411 on M.O.D.

Can’t get enough of Knocked Up? In case you missed it, check out this effin’ funny-as-poop scene that was deleted from the film. (Though hilarious, you’ll understand why it was cut. Language NSFW!)

Excited for Darjeeling Limited ? Yeah, me too.

In addition to the new film, and Hotel Chevalier short (more blogging on this later, after Erik screens the movie in a few hours), I’m excited for the new Wes Anderson soundtrack, which came out this week.

Here’s a little something from it.
MP3:
Peter Sarstedt - Where Do You Go To My Lovely

Important news for all you local racketeers out there—pawnshop laws in Portland are changing to curb the sale of stolen goods.

A Wisconsin couple has been charged with neglecting their baby to go party—once again proving you shouldn’t squeeze one out until you’re at least 30.

Bono receives another pat on the back and the Liberty Medal for his efforts to solve the world’s problems.

Bloggers have to stick together—and bloggers in Myanmar are being fucked! Their government cut the nation’s access to Internet, as they continue to crack down on peaceful, protesting monks.

Eww! Jones Soda Co. has gone too far this time—they’re creating a new “football” line of pop. You can now order a five-pack of perspiration flavored pop from their website.

A curious reader writes in:

Can you pick out Willamette Week’s new logo from this line up?

todayinpdx@portlandmercury.com

Okay, this is random, but you’ve got to check out this bizarrely awesome rendition of Sammy Davis, Jr. singing an extended disco version of the “Plop Plop Fizz Fizz Song” from the Alka-Seltzer commercials.

All together now: WTF?!

Tip o’ the hat to MOG!

Looking tan and leathery—like a riding saddle with a flavor saver—Bruce Springsteen adds to the building hype for Magic (out next Tuesday) with single number two, “Long Walk Home.” It’s classic Boss, and while not earth-shattering, it’s still a very solid tune.

We’ll be rejoining our daily TV update in just a moment, but first… WHO WATCHED BIONIC WOMAN LAST NIGHT? Please note your kudos and whammies in the comments below.
Now, tonight brings us the return of lots of old faves, including…

• 8:00 CW SMALLVILLE—In which we learn whether Chloe actually croaked, get a sneaky peeky at the hot new Supergirl, and Clark battles Bizarro Superman! (I’m sorry, but I’m still a big fan of the classic Bizarro who flies backwards and says, “Me hate hot dogs!”)

• 8:00 NBC MY NAME IS EARL— Eh. I’m tired of this show. And the fact that Jason Lee is starring in that horrible Alvin & the Chipmunks movie isn’t helping matters. What happened to him, anyway?

• 8:00 ABC UGLY BETTY— Eh, again. Anybody want to offer a defense for this show? (I didn’t think so.)

• 9:00 ABC GREY’S ANATOMY—”McSteamy,” “McDreamy”… Where’s “McChlamydia”?

• 9:00 NBC THE OFFICE—This one-hour episode looks like it’s going to be Hilari-ous Clinton… plus, JIM TAKES HIS SHIRT OFF. EEEEEEEEEEE!

• 10:00 ABC BIG SHOTS—A douchebaggy new show about a bunch of successful douchebags bellyaching about how they don’t understand why everyone thinks they’re “douchebags.”

• 10:00 NBC E.R.—The season premiere features poor Stanley Tucci. How did he get dragged into this?

ANYWAY… speaking of Smallville… ever wonder why Superman Peanut Butter tastes so great? Here’s why.

Sorry Matt, but Mayor Potter wasn’t at the meetings about the Chávez rename, and he’s flat out wrong about how the community has treated the proposal. His letter today is offensive to neighbors—I can’t believe Potter has the gall to chastise neighbors at all, when they’re simply reacting to how Potter has backed them into a corner and put them on the defensive. And his characterization of the neighbors’ tone is misinformed, at best.

Sure, neighbors’ response to the proposal—which they’ve been lead to believe is a done deal—has been emotional. I’ve heard loud sighs when committee members haven’t fully answered neighbors’ questions, I’ve heard applause when neighbors have insisted Interstate retain its name, and I’ve heard genuinely enthusiastic and excited cheers for alternative suggestions for honoring Chávez. At worst, I’ve heard frustrated, almost nervous laughter when the committee has answered questions about the economic impact on Interstate’s businesses with comments like “the city will figure it out.”

What I haven’t heard? Widespread disrespect, negativity, or anything close to racist comments. (Could there have been an asshole or two in the crowd at each meeting? Sure—isn’t there one in every crowd? But if so, they didn’t get to the mic or say anything loud enough for the room to hear, and that certainly hasn’t set the tone.)

You write:

According to Kimberly Wilson at the Oregonian, “racial slurs” were hurled at the neighborhood meeting that voted against the renaming of the interstate. I called her to ask what those were, but she’s yet to get back to me.

My first thought in reading about opposition to the change was, “due process can sometimes incorporate unexamined prejudice.” I should point out that I think I’m in disagreement with most people over this, and am aware of that, but honestly, squint and look at this situation: We want to rename a street after a hero to Latinos in a city that’s got a history of racial problems. Neighbors refuse to do so.

I don’t know where Kimberly Wilson was sitting during the Arbor Lodge meeting (and I’m not sure she was even at the Overlook meeting) but the “slurs” she reported on weren’t audible to the rest of the crowd. (And frankly, I don’t think “Some minorities do what they want to do, and they should go somewhere else”—the most incendiary thing Wilson quoted—qualifies as a slur.)

The issue here isn’t due process incorporating unexamined prejudice—it’s the utter lack of due process for a neighborhood that has historically been disregarded. That’s what’s offensive and disrespectful.

Simply put, North Portland residents have put up with decades of being Portland’s least considered area, and they’re fed up. So when Mayor Potter signs off on a major change to their neighborhood before neighbors have even heard about it, and then sends the Chávez committee into the community to gauge neighborhood support, it’s a recipe for tension. The mayor bungled this one, but he gets to sit in his office while the committee has to face residents who feel their opinions don’t count. It’s a crappy position for our city’s leader to put a fantastic group of people who’ve got noble intentions.

But the tension is not about Chávez, or race. I can guarantee you the neighborhood would be responding in the same way if someone were trying to rename Interstate for JFK or another dead white guy without checking in with the community first. On the flip side, I do believe these meetings would have been calm and collected—and the effort possibly successful—if the Chávez committee had insisted on following the official process, a process meant to empower the community, and get them on board. Instead, the committee demanded the same ‘special treatment’ given to the group who wanted to quickly change Portland Boulevard to Rosa Parks Way. It’s that special treatment that pissed off North and Northeast Portlanders in the first place, and it was a politically disasterous move for the Chávez committee to want to follow the same route.

I imagine the committee was taken aback by the amount of opposition and neighborhood frustration they faced last week, and that’s what they related to Mayor Potter. I wonder if they also mentioned that nearly everyone who commented expressed support for honoring Chávez, and pleaded with the committee to start over with an open mind, and find a fitting way to honor the man that brings the community together, instead of splitting it apart. (There’s a huge list of interesting ideas, from naming a forthcoming North Portland library, to renaming I-5 up and down the West Coast.)

Finally, I took copious notes at both meetings, capturing 90% of what was said by every person who testified. My cleaned up notes are after the jump—you tell me if you see ethnic slurs or disrespect.

I really hope Potter plans to attend the hearings in early October, so he can see what this is really about. And Matt, perhaps you should go, too.

(I have a hard time capturing people's names in a public hearing setting, so for some people I've only tossed in the first names, and I hope I heard those accurately. Others are described, if I'd jotted down something.)

From the Overlook meeting:

Chávez committee member Sonny Montes:

There's probably some opposition here. It's obvious by the fact that we're here. We've always felt, we've always believed in trying to start a dialogue with people. I think what's important here is there's an opportunity here.

The reason i'm here tonight is because of our young people. We've got a very diverse community in North Portland. Chavez can be that unifying person that brings us together.

I believe this can be a unifying effort to start bringing our communities together.

Committee member Jose Romero:

It goes beyond just a name change, it goes much much deeper, and it goes not just for a year or a month. In other areas they've extended the process to include community centers.

In three or four years when i come to a meeting like this, I should see more faces of different ethnicities

We've been meeting since the early spring, our first meeting was in early march. We're learning and we're trying to leave as many stones unturned as we can find. We're doing everything we need to do and will continue to do so until our efforts are successful.

Committee member Marta Guembes:

We have met with all the boards of the neighborhoods. I am very impressed, this is great to see so many people. I wish I could see more people from my community.

We have met with the commissioners, and we have their support but they're open to us meeting with the community.

We have the support of the mayor, tom potter, 100%. We have a very beautiful letter of support from New Seasons. We are open to getting feedback, whatever we need to make this process better for everybody.

Romero:

I'm sure someone's going to say, why interstate?

We thought, we're not taking the name away from anybody, as a matter of fact we're adding to that community's history.

A man who's name I did catch, but he owns the Budget Motel on Interstate.

[He spoke about what he knows of Chavez' history.] I do admire him, I love him... but what do you gain by renaming the street?

Romero:

We have very few Latino leaders in this country compared to other groups. He's not alien to Oregon, he came here many many times.

Montes:

By renaming Chavez Boulevard, this is the first Latino name [in Oregon]. We're going to be making history here. We've never honored a latino leader in the state of Oregon. We feel this will motivate our young people. We're not going to stop there. One of the ideas for down the road is to secure private funding for a cultural center.

A neighbor whose name I didn't catch:

I would feel certain that probably everyone in ths room would love to honor Cesar Chavez for all of those reasons [much applause from the crowd]. I think that the question is whether or not Interstate Avenue is the appropriate vehicle for that, and whether the process that with a small group of people decided to honor him. [An alternate suggestion is to] come up with a number of different ways he could have been honored and that could have been considered.

Montes:

We thought of a few other options, and we explored other thoroughfares in the city. And we had criteria. The avenue met that criteria for this group, and we adopted it.

An older woman who sat near me during the meeting, but did not give her name.

I would like to offer an area for you to have a little plaza, which is on Greeley and Killingsworth. It would be a wonderful addition to an area trying to make a recovery. I would like to see that little square, which used to be a car wash, a taco place, and a dry cleaners. You cannot have the avenue, it's Interstate and always will be. [Loud applause and cheers.]

Another neighbor:

For the businesses on Interstate, do you know what cost that would be? MLK has never recovered [from their name change].

Brett Burmeister:

It was reported in July that you had the support of this neighborhood, that went to print. But in the latest [Overlook] newsletter it said you didn't have support.

Why in july, you went out or someone went out and said you had the support, when you didn't?

I'm just feeling that the way you're going about this Summer saying you have support of these organization is a little underhanded and calls into question your integrity.

Montes:

The media have said a lot of things that aren't true. The media a lot of times will say things that aren't true. None of our group will say something that isn't true, because we're all about the truth.

The other thing is about the new seasons, I believe that he had given us his support, and he would like to hear from the neighborhoods, but he was very happy to support us with changing the name.

Another neighbor:

What kind of research have you done of the economic impact of the businesses and homeowners along interstate, and how do you plan to mitigate since they have taken a blow with light rail?

Romero:

We're getting advice from the city and the county. There is a five year process, time to use up stationary, time to change signs. Not knowing what it's going to cost, the city says they will work thing out over a period of years.

Another neighbor:

Your group doesn't necessarily take on any of the financial impact this change is going to have.

Montes:

Whatever the city and the county did with MLK and Rosa Parks will happen here. All we want is the same treatment that everyone else has gotten. We're the only group that has really gone out here and spoken to the opposition.

Guembes:

This is not easy for me as a Latina for me to be here with all you guys. I brought my children because I wanted them to see what a neighborhood association means, and i'm going to ask you kindly to be respectful. Don't laugh at us.

A white woman who lives on N Alberta:

I live at 19XX N Alberta, which is in the Overlook neighborhood. When I moved to Portland in 1988, with my daughter who at that time was 14, and she's a Chicana. In 1988 there were very few Mexican Americans in Portland, and it was a lonely time for her. When you ask about the gangs, I thought no way would she join a gang, and then i became scared. She was not - we lived off of Hawthorne, and she graduated from Franklin High School, and she was not welcome at Franklin. Those of us that are white, we don't understand some of these things that happen to young people. And I've been speaking to young people of all races throughout this city, and there are people excited about this. I think this could add welcoming to this neighborhood.

A woman named Keela:

I did not come here with an agenda or knowing how I'd feel about it, I came to be educated. I do have a sadness about losing the name interstate, it was the road north. Northeast, inner NE and N portland have more intregation and more cross cultural communition amongst ethinic groups and class groups than lots of parts of the city.

A neighbor named Lonny.

I don't feel that renaming Interstate is the best way. There's a navigational impact. In a relatively small part of town, three names have changed. Rosa Parks was renamed maybe a year ago. I've known four people personally that have missed the exit, gotten lost looking for Portland Boulevard. I also feel that Interstate has a real unique historical meaning. This neighborhood is going through a lot of progress, which is great, but it's important to save elements of history, and to me Interstate is an element of history.

Romero:

Interstate has a history, and we respect that. 90 some years ago, it became Interstate. We will honor the history of it but look to the future.

A man named Richard:

I own two businesses along Interstate. Will we have the city council and the mayor break the city's own laws? Or is it going to follow the city's own process? There's a lot of people still upset about Rosa Parks because it broke the process.

Montes:

What they want to do now is to treat us differently from the other groups, and we said that's not fair.

A very old woman who cut into the line of speakers, waving a petition.

I have a petition with 70 or 80 names against your proposal, and it only took me 3 days. I only found one person [who supported it].

Montes:

We respect you having 70 names, I also know people who have 2000 names of petitions who are signed. We're not opposed to you collecting petitions or doing what you need to do, but we want you to respect our efforts too.

Guembes:

If you have an issue with [the commissioners] supporting us, we're the wrong people to talk to. We're working for something we believe.

Another neighbor:

I appreciate your efforts. My suggestion to us is to follow Cesar Chavez' work, and establish a nonprofit, do something that will truly honor him, either with the children, with health issues, or with opening the day laborer center and naming that for Cesar Chavez.

Montes:

We truly appreciate the fact that you listened to us. I hope you don't question the integrity. We're being very straight and honest with you.

At this point, time was running out and a neighbor made a motion to support the proposal. It lost, 6-86.

That left the neighborhood with no official position on the proposal, so another person made a motion "to vote against it, so it's actually proactive instead of neutral." That won by 92-12.

Finally, a neighbor moved to support the idea of honoring Chavez in an as-yet-undetermined way. A few people had left before that vote was taken, but as far as I could tell, it was unanimous amongst those still in their seats—70-0.

***

Two nights later at Arbor Lodge, the scene was a bit different. The committee gave a short presentation on who Chavez was, and why they'd like to honor him. Instead of staying at the front of the room to field questions, as they did in Overlook, the committee members took a seat at a table in the middle of the lunch room. In a noble attempt to be organized and let as many people speak about the issue in the hour available, Arbor Lodge had a facilitator, ground rules, and one major caveat—testimony would be limited to a very short 30 seconds. That proved to be a huge sore spot with neighbors who had a lot to say.

Arbor Lodge chair Chris Duffy:

I'd like to bring up the committee that is sponsoring the idea... they'll do a brief presentation for you, and then we'll move on.

Montes:

One of the reasons that we selected Interstate, it's visible, well traveled, close to the heart of the city, has good transportation, and reflects the rich diversity of the North Portland area.

We're a part of Oregon, we're Oregonians

Our young people need heros, Cesar was one of our heroes.

One of the things I keep hearing over and over again about the history of Interstate Avenue. We're not here to destory anybody's history, we're here to enhance history. This can be the start of a tremendous working relationship where we start treating each other as brothers and sisters.

Guembes:

We are here to answer and clarify any question that you guys wish to ask.

Montes:

One of the things that we want to make very clear, as hard as it is for some of us to come and talk to the community, we as a committee have answered every request. It's important for us to dialogue.

Duffy:

We have a representative tonight, owner of the Nite Hawk Cafe and Lounge, and he is ging to give us some thoughts on the business perspective of renaming Interstate.

Bill Mildenberger:

About five weeks ago I was approached by a Portland Tribune reporter, and at that point we had no knowledge whatsoever that there was an effort to rename Interstate.

We started a grassroots campaign that sought to get businesses' input. We've handed out a small flyer that states what our points are and what our concerns are, and who you can speak to if you oppose or are for it.

I've got names of upwards of 40 businesses opposed. There four or five reasons we're opposed.

Interstate has a significant history, 90 years of name recognition and a brand. With renaming, the businesses and the community loses that historic perspective. We recently spent 100s of millions of dollars revitalizing the Interstate cooridor.

When light rail connects to vancouver, it will be an interstate connection again.

Just now, three years after light rail, is interstate starting to prosper.

There are two costs involved - to the small businesses, reprinting, websites, email addresses, a fleet. That's not an expense that we'd like to incur, particularly after enduring three years of construction. The second is hard earned taxpayer dollars to change street signs. We don't think it's an appropriate use of taxpayer dollars.

We have a wonderful North Portland diversity. We celebrate that everyday. We applaud the Latino community.

A truly diverse city honors their leaders throughout their city and not just in one diverse community. I'd like to extend an olive branch and say lets find a less divisive, less costly, and more galvanizing way to honor Cesar Chavez. I would ask that you commit to a new process that is more galvanizing. We ask that the Arbor Lodge neighborhood support the opposition to renaming interstate avenue. Let's keep our wonderful Interstate avenue.

The facilitator, Judith Mowry, reminded meeting attendees of the ground rules: 30 seconds each to say if they're for or against the idea and briefly explain why, and don't repeat each others' points or make alternate suggestions.

Mildenberger:

Mr. Romero—I have been told that you are not interested in entertaining any other options.

Romero:

We did a lot of research prior to getting to the point we're at, and based on the criteria we had, this is what our group ended up selecting. That's the concensus of our group after exploring our options.

Duffy:

I want to stress that this meeting will be orderly and polite and respectful to all parties involved. We will not tolerate any rude comments or any name calling or any finger pointing.

Mowry:

If you agree with what the speaker is saying, you can raise your hand and wave it a little bit. If you've already heard your point, do your neighbors a favor and move on. The committee came to the neighborhoods because they wanted to come as early as possible in the process.

A neighbor named Keith:

We have a house in arbor lodge, and a business on lombard. All the people know the Interstate corridor from portland and all over the world.

A woman in a green cardigan:

I don't think this is about Cesar Chavez at all, it's about the destruction of neighborhood cultural identity. I believe Interstate blvd was chosen because North Portland is seen as the neighborhood of least resistance.

John Manuel Martinez:

I am a longtime resident of arbor lodge, and I am against the interstate name change. I worked as a migrant worker, I picked bing cherries, peaches, apples, and now I've been a longtime resident of Arbor Lodge. I do not see how the high cost of the name change will not be passed on to us, both as taxpayers and as mass transit users. Why not change the TV highway?

Mowry:

I'm going to remind people of the ground rule, that we're not going to spend time offering up other alternatives.

A woman named Janet:

I want to make sure it doesn't turn into a missed opportunity. The missed opportunity may be that we paint a sign and don't create a culture of change in the neighborhood.

A woman named Glenda:

I am against. A new factor that hasn't come up is the fact that they're not following procedure. That's on the front page of the St. Johns Sentinel. [She started to read from the article to explain what she means...]

Mowry, who had cut her off:

We're tight on time.

There's back and forth between Mowry and neighbors, who are all being cut off at 30 seconds. Mowry explains the time limit again, stresses that there's not a lot of time tonight.

From the crowd:

Then why are you talking?

Mowry:

Your elected leadership of the neighborhood association has made a choice of how the meeting should go. But I do hear a question about how are they not following the proper legislative procedure.

Duffy steps up to explain her understanding of the official renaming procedure, and how it was waived for Rosa Parks:

It is a very specific document here. We have been infomred by city council members that it can be waived by the city council in order to facilitate a process.

From the crowd:

So what's the point?

Duffy:

They take this into account when making decisions on these things, but the final decision lies with the mayor and the city council. They can either go with our concensus or go against it. They are there to represent the best interest of everyone within the city. So I think they do hear us. So I encourage you to speak out.

A guy in a cowboy hat:

The Hispanic community has not convinced me that there should be a change just because they are here.

Another neighbor:

[He prefaces with "I had a lady supervisor who was Hispanic, and she was the best supervisor I ever had."] We've always had these things foisted on us in this neighborhood. The metro area should share in this wonderful process of having diversity.

A neighbor named Monique:

The major complaint I have to this situation is that a lot of things get dumped on North Portland. What I want to see is a vote, a vote of the people. You say the city council can go right over your head, you say it's a done deal, you've never heard so much disbelief as I've heard over this. We need to be heard.

Mowry had to cut her off at 30 seconds, too, and explained the tight time frame once more.

From the crowd:

We've already listened to you for 15 minutes.

A neighbor named Leland:

I think it's unfortunate that our city council is making a decision before we do. Rosa Parks happened before we found out about it. No, no, no.

His "no, no, no" got applause, despite the rules forbidding it.

A woman named Maria Alvarado:

I'm proud to be here saying I want to be having a named street after Cesar Chavez. He is my hero. Interstate's name was Patton before and its name was changed. Are you guys opposed to that too?

A neighbor named Yvette Hernandez:

I've lived for the past 15 years on Interstate. I've seen Interstate go through so many changes, it's time that we breathe new life into interstate and bring on a new culture. People keep talking about history - the people of the neighborhood have the power to keep that history alive.

Melanie Davis, vice president of El Hispanic News:

We moved our business into this neighborhood about a year and a half ago, because this area represents an area of our highest distrobution. I'm not going to be here and debate emotion. There's a lot emotion here. You felt pushed around about Rosa Parks, felt a little slighted. What I really want to state here is we really want to debate practicality.

A woman named Lynn Roberts:

I want everyone to know you really really should be writing to Sam Adams. He's the one who's going to want to get our vote. Write, call, pester Sam Adams.

A woman whose name I didn't catch:

I decided about 20 minutes ago that I was going to fore sure come to this meeting. This is an opportunity, I'm new to this neighborhood, this symbolizes the city, the city and the neighborhood embracing the Latino community. This is not divisive, it shouldn't be at all.

A woman named Claudia:

A lot of us feel the procedure was not followed with Rosa Parks. We have not fully digested and processed that action, and now there's another change coming in our lives that we're not used.

From the crowd, a woman asked if the city would be not following procedure again, as with Rosa Parks:

Is this another token meeting for us silly people who have an interest in our neighborhood? North Portland people are getting real tired of this.

Another neighbor, addressing the committee:

You really need to show some flexibility. To not listen to your neighbors to try to come to some agreement is not reasonable.

A neighbor made a motion: "The Arbor Lodge Neighborhood Association actively opposes the name change of Interstate Boulevard to Cesar Chavez now and in all future meetings." Several neighbors seconded it.

The room was quiet while Duffy and her fellow board members counted the raised hands—except for loud giggling at Melanie Davis' table. The motion passed, 64-10.

Another neighbor made a motion "in support of the effort to rename Interstate for Cesar Chavez." It failed, 11-67.

Photo: Joe Gaffney

I’m sorry, but the new Deborah Harry record, Necessary Evil, is a flaming trainwreck. I know she is a legend and icon, but this is an album that never should have seen the light of day. I’m sorry.

Take a listen, and remember, this is the best song on the record.
It gets worse…

MP3:
Deborah Harry - School For Scandal

“The Devil’s dick is hard to handle.”
Um, yeah.

When I was driving once I saw this painted on a bridge:
“I don’t want the world, I just want your half”

As a blurry-eyed kid who could barely stay awake to midnight in order to record 120 Minutes (Lewis Largent! Kennedy!), songs/videos like this absolutely fascinated me.

Who was Ana Ng?
What happened on the bench at the ‘64 World’s Fair?

Regardless, the song has aged very well, as has most of TMBG’s catalog.

They Might Be Giants perform at Roseland tonight.

Here’s the first story to come out of this morning’s Street Access For Everyone committee. I don’t want it to divert your attention from the second, which I’ll be posting shortly, but inevitably, when it comes to taking a piss in public, people pay more attention. UPDATE: 3:47pm: I’m going to save that one for next week’s paper. Check it out then.

Original post: Frustrated with slow progress by the mayor’s Street Access For Everyone (SAFE) committee in building more permanent restrooms downtown, Commissioner Randy Leonard is putting up $500k for pissoirs:
PARIS: Pissoirs have long existed…

“There are divergent opinions about this issue,” says Leonard’s chief of staff Ty Kovatch. “On the one hand you have a group of well-meaning people who would like to see state of the art, twenty-four hour restroom facilities. Which we’d all like to see, but the logistics of that are costly, time-consuming and a way off in the distance. And this is a now problem, pun intended.”

“And so Randy’s perspective is that if we’re able to get to a functional situation that doesn’t create a safety problem for police, that’s not the side of a building or a sidewalk, then great. Randy didn’t invent the idea, he actually saw the model for it in Europe, and saw it as a workable solution.”

Leonard is meeting this afternoon with Richard Harris of Central City Concern, and a designer from the Water Bureau to come up with conceptual mock-ups that will ultimately go to a designer and then be built. The source of funding for the pissoirs may be from the water bureau, or from the council’s general fund. “One way or the other we want to find a way to make things happen,” says Kovatch.

As to accusations of sexism and discrimination against those with disabilities? “We’d like to figure out ways that we can accommodate everyone with this initiative, and we’ve had discussions about how you might do that,” says Kovatch. Here’s a modern-day pissoir in Amsterdam:AMSTERDAM: You can smoke weed in there, and in the cinema, you can order a beer…

News of Leonard’s plans came as a surprise to the SAFE committee this morning—it’s been dragging its feet on siting more restrooms, but the group isn’t happy with what might be described as a 19th-century solution.

“This is beyond unnacceptable,” said Doreen Binder, executive director of Transition Projects, Inc. “Why can’t we just build two outhouses, now?”

“I’ll go and speak with Randy myself,” said Sisters of The Road community organizer Patrick Nolen, who was unhappy with the idea of homeless people having their legs and heads visible while peeing.

“We applaud Commissioner Leonard’s effort here,” said Mike Kuykendall of the Portland Business Alliance (PBA). “But as he told me to my face, he’s not much of a one for committees. And I want to work with that.”

Mayor Potter surprised me this morning by nutting up to Interstate neighbors over their opposition to renaming the street after Cesar Chavez. According to Kimberley Wilson at the Oregonian, “racial slurs” were hurled at the neighborhood meeting that voted against the renaming of the interstate. I called her to ask what those were, but she’s yet to get back to me.

My first thought in reading about opposition to the change was, “due process can sometimes incorporate unexamined prejudice.” I should point out that I think I’m in disagreement with most people over this, and am aware of that, but honestly, squint and look at this situation: We want to rename a street after a hero to Latinos in a city that’s got a history of racial problems. Neighbors refuse to do so.

You tell me how many ways I’m supposed to explain that to readers outside this City—by explaining that the “community” was “involved” in slapping down the renaming? Give me a break. Liberalism? Pah. Here’s Tom Potter’s letter. Briefly today, I worship the man. And on top of banning the drug free zones yesterday?! Jesus, I might want the chap to stand for re-election, after all.

An open letter to the community about honoring César E. Chávez

(September 26, 2007)

Dear Portlanders:

César E. Chávez’s work was rooted in his belief in peaceful and nonviolent action. Unfortunately, this same legacy of respect was not present last week during a neighborhood discussion of a street commemoration in his name.

As I’ve said before many times: good people can disagree. And many do in this case. The exchange of opinions is healthy for a community to better understand all sides of an issue. But when an opinion is delivered with negativity and disrespect, it is not healthy, it is destructive.

And this should be unacceptable to every Portlander.

Will Rogers once said “you have to go out on a limb sometimes, because that is where the fruit is.” I believe this is an opportunity for Portlanders on all sides to go out on that limb together. Yes, we might still come out disagreeing. But what we might achieve is a more authentic understanding of all the different people, places and things that truly make this City who and what it is today.

I urge all Portlanders to learn more about this project and what it means the Latino community. Take the time to listen - and I mean really listen - before making a fearful reaction to the idea of change. More importantly in this debate, let’s respect one another. For when we do this, we are really saying to one another “I respect your right to be here.”

The Office of Transportation and Office of Neighborhood Involvement have planned two opportunities to learn about this proposal. I urge everyone interested to attend and respectfully share your opinions with the City on this matter.

Community meetings on renaming Interstate Avenue to César E. Chávez Boulevard:

Wednesday, October 3rd
Ockley Green Middle School
6031 N Montana Ave
Portland, OR 97217
6:30 - 8:00 p.m.

Tuesday, October 9th
Ockley Green Middle School
6031 N Montana Ave
Portland, OR 97217 6:30 - 8:00 p.m.

If you are unable to attend these meetings, please call my comment line at (503) 823-4127 or email me at mayorpotter@ci.portland.or.us with your opinion.

I apologize for calling him a “lame duck douche-bag” two weeks ago. Perhaps we can name a street after him now. Potter Plaza. Potter Street. Potter Place. Potter Boulevard. Potter Way. Potter’s Way. Yeah, that’s the best: Potter’s Way.

I hereby start the online petition.

Over the weekend, the home and studio of Portland painter Michael Brophy went up in flames, destroying personal belongings, paintings, the building itself, and it is feared, his pet cat. Brophy is one of the most beloved artists in town, as well as one of the most respected. A vigilant explorer of the Northwest landscape, history, and mythology, Brophy creates smart and stunning paintings that hit your gut first, before working their way to your head, where they refuse to quiet down or go away. He’s been in countless gallery and museum exhibitions, including a fantastic retrospective at the Tacoma Art Museum two years ago. (He might, however, be best known for his cover art on Sleater-Kinney’s The Woods.) But now Michael and his partner, writer Holly Cundiff, are in a really bad position, and could use a good old fashioned barn raising. A rebuilding fund has been set up through RACC:

Checks should be made payable to:
Regional Arts & Culture Council
Memo: for Michael Brophy studio rebuilding fund
108 NW 9th Avenue, Suite 300
Portland, OR 97209-3318
(Contributions are tax deductible.)

That small yellow square on the second floor is Mike and Holly’s bedroom. Photo from KATU.

Another Mercury music section to flip through while you try that “Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right BA Start” code on Halo 3. It totally works. Unlimited life!!

Now that you know that the unfuckwithable Frank Black has never been booed, are you at least a little tempted to boo him when he plays Doug Fir this weekend?
Mr. Burns: Smithers, are they boo-ing me?
Smithers: Uh…no. They’re saying boo-URNS, boo-URNS
MP3: Black Francis - Captain Pasty

Nerd alert! They Might Be Giants celebrate 25 years of getting beat up by bigger rock bands and stuffed into their lockers.
MP3: They Might Be Giants - With The Dark

Bonde do Rolê: The best thing from Brazil since Pele’s bicycle kick.
MP3: Bonde do Rolê - James Bonde

Who loves New York? The National does. Woody Allen too. Oh, and her.
MP3: The National - Mistaken for Strangers

Due to printer error, the interview with Tractor Operator did not run. Too controversial? What did the printer not want you to know? People of Earth, the truth is out there!
MP3: Tractor Operator - Cheap and Easy

Portland- and Atlanta-based publishers Top Shelf—they’re the guys who brought you Alan Moore’s Lost Girls and Craig Thompson’s Blankets—made my day yesterday with a grab bag of recent and new graphic novels that they sent over to the office. (My favorite so far is Andy Hartzell’s Fox Bunny Funny.) But the free mailbox treats don’t stop with book editors: They’ve got stuff they want to give you, too. More specifically, the 264-page Top Shelf Sampler, which highlights their 2007 titles. It’s a spiffy book, and way way sweeter than a regular catalog, and they’re offering it free on their website (you pay for shipping—they’re not going to totally go out of business trying to send you this stuff). So maybe their mail campaign worked—I’m now directing people to their website and all, but it’s for free schwag, and who doesn’t like that?

WHOA NELLY! President Clinton congratulates Wal-Mart for their protection of the environment?

KA-ZOING! In other Clintonian news, during yesterday’s debate, moderator Tim Russert flipped the script on Hillary Clinton when he read her an unattributed quote about using torture in certain circumstances. The quote turned out to be from her hubby. Ouch.

WHOOPS. Michelle Obama (wife of… you know) said that if her husband didn’t win in Iowa “it’s all over.” Currently he trails both Clinton and Edwards.

BOO-HOO-HOO! Poor Bill O’Reilly is crying that he’s being smeared as a racist for his obviously racist remarks about a Harlem restaurant.

GOOD IDEA! The newest method of drumming up celebrity business for your rehab center—invoke the Holy name of LINDSAY LOHAN.

I finally got round to picking up a copy of A.A.Gill’s new book, The Angry Island this weekend, and wanted to share this paragraph with you about the English sense of humo(u)r:

The English teeter on the edge of not being able to take anything seriously. The ability to be solemn or even appropriate, reflective or sad in public, is so uncomfortably embarrassing that they’re forced to giggle or snigger. I once asked an oncologist what was people’s most common reaction to being told they had cancer. After incomprehension and blank denial, he said, they make a joke. Quite often they go on making jokes till the morphine kicks them across the touchline. He’d worked in hospitals in the States. Americans, he said, went, “Oh my God, oh my God,” then cried, then prayed. They were then very, very serious and very, very well informed, until they got better or didn’t. What was odd was that the English thought they were coping well by never facing the seriousness of their condition or reacting appropriately. “Laughter is the best medicine,” they’d say with a smile. “By the way,” added the doctor, “just in case it happens to you, professional advice, it isn’t. A combination of chemotherapy and radiation is mostly the best medicine-after surgery.” Being positive helps, but telling jokes isn’t being positive, it’s denial, and that’s inappropriate. Laughing at mortality doesn’t make you look brave and nonchalant, it makes you look as if you haven’t understood the question.

I’ll try to bear all that in mind next time I’m tempted to laugh. The book is published by Simon & Schuster at $24. It has chapters on accents, class, apologies, and queuing, among other things. And largely explains why I was happy to leave the country of my birth. Enjoy!

Due to an error in this week’s music listings, Friday’s coverage is a little lacking. But don’t worry tech-savy readers, we got you covered! Check out all the fun that’s going down on Friday.

DON’T WORRY, that gaping hole in the music calendar isn’t part of our new redesign.

FRIDAY LIVE MUSIC
15th Street Pub–Downrite Walnut, Rubber Burning Hot Rod, Tallboy Shotgun, 8 pm
Alberta Street Public House–Meredith Bros. Band, 6:30 pm, free; Beglan’s Irish Jam, 9 pm, free
Albina Green–Kate Mann
Andina–Condor, 8 pm
* The Artistery–Artistery Sixth Anniversary: Evolutionary Jass Band, The Watery Graves, Angelo Spencer, Baptist Arms, 7:30 pm, $5, all ages
Ash Street Saloon–The Divining Rods, The Shiny Things, Hawthorne, The New Standard, 9:45 pm, $5
* Berbati’s Pan–Science of Yabra, Drats!!!, Lickity
Biddy McGraw’s–Billy Kennedy, 6 pm; Ashbury Park, 9:30 pm
Bitter End–Mars Retrieval Unit, 9 pm, $5
Blue Parrot–Damnweevil, Paranaut, Grieving Sun, No Regard, free
Boons Treasury–Floating Pointe, 9 pm, free
Buffalo Gap–Kirkpatrick Project, 9 pm
Camellia Lounge–Subatomic, 9 pm, free
Club Eclipse–Macadam
Clyde’s Prime Rib–Cool Breeze
Community Music Center–Free Marz String Trio, 8 pm, free
Corner Saloon–Backlash
Crystal Ballroom–Dark Star Orchestra, 9 pm, $23-25, all ages
* Dante’s–Dick Dale, Federale, The Nice Boys, 9:30 pm, $20
Doug Fir–Tony Furtado Band, Jim Brunberg, 9 pm, $13-15
Edgefield–Beth Willis, 7 pm, free
Gemini–Ken Derouchie Band
Gotham Tavern–Lisa Mann, 8 pm
Grapedrink–Decline of State, Hit & Run, First in Line, 9 pm, $5, all ages
The Green Room–Shannon Curtis, Debra Arlyn, Kari Newhouse, 9:30 pm
Halibut’s–Norman Sylvester
Imbibe–Jaycob Van Auken, 9:30 pm
In Other Words–Theresa Demarest, Rebecca Sanborn, Shelly Rudolph
Jax–Jazz Text Messengers, 8:30 pm
Jimmy Mak’s–Javon Jackson, Benny Green, Corcoran Holt, Al Foster, 8 pm, $25; 10 pm, $25
Jolly Roger–Katt & Roots Revolution
Kells–Tom May, 9 pm
Kelly’s Olympian–Metal Night: Stonecreep, Death Valley, 10 pm
The Know–Lasers All the Time, 8 pm
LaurelThirst Public House–Jamie Stillway Trio, 6 pm; Celilo, Ruby Dee & The Snakehandlers, Audie Darling, 9:30 pm, $5
Les Schwab Amphitheater (Bend)–The Black Crowes, Buffalo Killers, 5 pm, $35, all ages
* Liberty Hall–Siren Nation Benefit: Harvest Hoedown: Caroline Oakley, Round Peak Girls, 8 pm, $5, all ages
LV’s Uptown–Darrell Grant, 7 pm
McDonald Theatre (Eugene)–Arctic Monkeys, Voxtrot, 9 pm, $22, all ages
Mission Theater–Trakia Ensemble, 8:30 pm, $16-18
Mississippi Pizza Pub/Atlantis Lounge–Rio Nights, 6 pm; Jes Raymond & Her Famous Band, Garett Brennan, 9 pm
Mississippi Studios–Teisha & Scott, Adam Levy, 7 pm, $10-12; Keep Your Fork There’s Pie, Noah Earle, Cindy Woolf, 10 pm, $7-8
Mock Crest Tavern–DC Malone & The Jones, 9 pm
* Music Millennium Eastside–Dick Dale, 6 pm, free, all ages
Outlaws Bar & Grill–Lillian Axe, Miss Anne Thrope, Shelter Red, 8 pm, $8-10
Pi-Rem–Suckapunch, J-Kron, Mr. Romo, 9 pm
Pink Feather–Steve Rodin, 9 pm
* Portland State University–The Rainy States, noon, free, all ages
Portsmouth Pizza & Pub–Kenny Lavitz
The Press Club–Mood Area 52, 8:30 pm
Produce Row Cafe–Counterfeit Cash, 9 pm, free
Proper Eats Cafe–The Madrid Stowell Project, 6 pm; Beliss, 7:30 pm
Red Room–Absent Minds, The Human Echo, The Stragglers, 9 pm, free
Rock Creek Tavern–The Dead Beetles, 8 pm, free
Rock n Roll Pizza–Edguy, Into Eternity, Susperia, Echoes of Eternity, 8 pm, $20-23, all ages
Roots Brewing–The Cause, 8 pm
* Roseland–Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, Elvis Perkins, 9 pm, $15-17, all ages
Satyricon–Dear Whoever, Tysen, A Hope for Home, The Roe, Secret Lives of Famous Men, 7 pm, $10, all ages
* Slabtown–The Bugs, Lana Rebel, The Makes Nice, Frank Furter & The Hotdogs, 9 pm
* Someday Lounge–Fannie Mae Darling, Splendora, Fall of Snow, DJ Jimme Jamma, Oracle, Felina’s Arrow, 9 pm, $5
Thirsty Lion Pub & Grill–Sumo
* Tonic Lounge–Wow & Flutter, Yeltsin, Mostly Bears, 9:30 pm
Tony Starlight’s Supperclub & Lounge–Bureau of Standards Big Band, 8 pm, $10; 10 pm, $5
* Towne Lounge–Numbers, Vanishing Kids, Swim Swam Swum, Reverse Dotty & The Candy Cane Shivs, 9 pm, $8
Twilight Room–Dannie Vickers, 9 pm, free
U-licious Smokehouse & Grill–Steve Cheseborough
Urban Grind–WellBeing Benefit, 7 pm
The Venue–Terry Robb, 9 pm, free
Walters Cultural Arts Center–Misty River, 8 pm, $20-22
The Waypost–The Sun Boat, John Keller, 8 pm
White Eagle–The Reverb Brothers, 5:30 pm, free, all ages; Joe McMurrian Quartet, 9:30 pm, $6
Wilf’s Restaurant & Bar–Steve Moretti Trio
* Wonder Ballroom–PWCL Benefit: Blubird, DJ Anjali, 6:30 pm, $25
WOW Hall (Eugene)–Eoto, 8:30 pm, $12
Yola’s Foster Road–Open Mic

Check out Friday’s DJ Listings after the jump!

FRIDAY DJ LISTINGS
Bettie Ford Lounge–Basics: DJ Yaz, DJ Nature, 9 pm
Blue Monk–DJ N-Able, 10 pm
Boxxes–DJ Sam, 11 pm, $3
Branx–PRA's Snap!: DJ Freaky Outty, Colin Jones, 16 Switches, 9 pm, free
Casey's Underground–Ruckus: DJ Megadeath, Moniker
* Devil's Point–DJ Kenoy
East Chinatown Lounge–DJ Izm, 10 pm
* Fez Ballroom–Shut Up & Dance: DJ Gregarious, 10 pm, $5
Goodfoot–Soul Stew: DJ Aquaman
Greek Cusina–Toxxic: DJ Professor Stone, DJ Matrok
Green Papaya–DJ Old Skool Charlie T, free
Ground Kontrol–Time Lapse: Moonchild, 9 pm, free
Holocene–Rockbox: DJ Kez, Mr. Matt Nelkin, Dundiggy, 9 pm, $3
* Lola's Room–'80s Video Dance Attack: VJ Kittyrox, 9 pm, $5
Matador–Highway to Hell: DJ Trixie Doll, DJ Sarafina, 10 pm, free
NOIR–Oubliette: Apocalypse, City Rocker, free
Pala–Mazi, Ben, Ravi, Alden Brown, Micah McNelly, Patrick Anthony, Trevor
Pshaw–DJ Kevin Berry
Red Cap Garage–DJ Criz, 11 pm, $3
Ringler's Pub–DJ Ted Striker, 10 pm, free
Rotture–Countzero, DJ Invisiboy, Northern Liberties, 9 pm, free
Saucebox–All Things Considered: Mr. Mumu, 10 pm, free
Squeez–DJ Piecemeal, DJ Render, 9 pm
Subterra–Escape: DJ Evil One, Jaden
Tiga–AM Gold, 9 pm, free
TikTok–DJ Lopez, 9 pm
Trust... a Lounge–Trust This: DJ Joee Irwin, 8 pm, free
Tube–Into the Dark: DJ Nikki C, 6 pm, free; DJ Chilly Chaze, 10 pm
Velvet Music Box–Check 6, SupaDaze, Zymurgy, DJ Zander, Kelevra, Quickster, all ages
XV–ATM, 10 pm, free

The petitioners have turned in what they say is 63,000 signatures for each of the two petitions, delivered to the secretary of state’s office in nine file boxes. Are they confident that they’ll make the ballot? “I’m confident of one thing, we will vote on [the new gay rights laws] either this time or next time,” says Marylin Shannon, referring to a possible repeal effort if these signatures don’t make the cut. She adds: “My money’s on us making it” this time.

To get on the ballot, 87 percent of those signatures have to be valid—which would be a record, better than the current record holding Measure 36 got (they were 86% valid).

Shannon says their volunteers burned the midnight oil to verify signatures and clean up their lists. And, she says, “the people we appealed to [to sign] were law abiding citizens,” who wouldn’t sign if they weren’t qualified.

John Campbell’s report on the Drug-Free Zones has a lot to say about racial disparity in the enforcement of the policy, and I highly recommend you read the full thing at the link in this post, here, but buried at the end of the report are seven paragraphs that blast the police bureau and highlight Portland’s ongoing race problems.

What we find more troubling than the disparity itself is an evident lack of institutional curiosity at the Bureau for determining, early and aggressively, if such a disparity existed. Because, in the absence of more institutional curiosity about these issues, problems of racial disparity will remain very difficult to solve. While the disparity certainly exists, there are layers of dimensions to it that could give a curious manager ample room to test theories, experiment with policy, ask for feedback, and make other adjustments that could both reduce, or eliminate, the racial differences found in the data and provide important management learning about how to get closer to the root of this critically important issue.

Frankly, had this degree of disparity been uncovered early by the Bureau and shared with the public in the context of genuine commitments by managers to dig into the underlying causes, make corrections, and report back on evolving changes to a concerned public, the conversation on this issue would be very different today. That, however, is not the reality of this situation, which is why we are identifying the lack of institutional curiosity about this issue as a very significant problem in and of itself.

In fewer words, Campbell is aghast that the bureau—not necessarily as individuals, but collectively as an institution—didn’t really seem to care about whether or not the DFZ enforcement was targeting African Americans. Instead, they floated a number of theories about why the numbers looked like they do (as in, “more African Americans sell crack on the streets, which is why they are excluded more,” which we’ve written about). But, according to Campbell, none of those theories panned out and, in fact, there’s little proof that anyone at the bureau bothered to verify their own claims.

The result: Continued mistrust between the police bureau and the community, particularly the African American community—and that won’t disappear just because the DFZ law is gone.

I ran into Promise King—former Tribune columnist, city hall staffer, and current community activist—while I was at city hall a bit ago. After I told him the news about the DFZ law and showed him the press release, he said, “This might be breaking news to some people, but to me, this is old news.”

The African American community didn’t need Campbell’s report to know that they are disproportionately targeted; they live it. But, finally, the mayor has been handed undeniable proof, and he did the only thing a reasonable leader could do—he killed at least one of the most obvious policies targeting minorities.

Potter is now in a position to create a mayoral legacy of criminal justice reform, producing lasting policies that not only address root causes of crime, but also deal with suspected criminals—and community leaders—with the civil rights protections we’re all guaranteed by the Constitution. Whether he can do that in the short 14 months he’s got left is unclear, as is the question of why he didn’t get started sooner.

Read the rest of Campbell’s take on the “lack of institutional curiosity” after the jump.

We won’t review the process it took to get to the point that analysis could be done and we don’t see any convenient individual villains who could be blamed for roadblocks and barriers along the way. Instead, we see an institutionalized culture that may have left even well-intentioned managers without sufficient sense of urgency about asking the tough questions that needed to be asked or provided them with a compelling need to request a record keeping approach for Drug Free Zone data that could routinely provide information that management would need to inform better decision making.

The conversation about race in Portland will not move forward if both “sides” treat data as a mere tool to support their already foregone conclusions. While it would be a great day if the voices on both sides could change in this respect, it is certainly time for at least one side — the side that is paid to give full-time attention to policing issues — to adopt an open curiosity about measuring and responding to the facts as they are, to demonstrate a greater willingness to discover and correct, and to explain openly and honestly whatever shades of gray the facts reveal.

The Portland Police Bureau, institutionally, has seemed incurious about testing the hypotheses developed to explain apparent disparities and, in the absence of a willingness to do the necessary self-analysis, insufficiently committed to taking the self-corrective steps necessary to mitigate the racial issues that, as is the case in most American cities, remain a barrier to better partnership with all citizens.

The work necessary to properly test the hypotheses developed, analyze the data, and put it in the context of police work, is not simple and does require a level of skill that is unique to those who are very familiar with statistical analysis, probabilities, and correlations (and also have a working knowledge of police work). But the Bureau employs analysts with these skills who could be turned loose to go where the facts take them, testing each hypothesis and working with managers to develop responses that are commensurate with the issues found.

We urge the Portland Police Bureau to make a much deeper commitment to assessing its own need for improvement in this regard and then addressing the need in a way that will offer relief for concerns about police practices and allow the conversation with the community to move more easily to questions of improving public safety. A better community policing partnership, built on trust and a shared commitment to problem solving, particularly with Portland’s African-American community, will never be achieved without it.

I left Marylin Shannon’s house to follow a van that I thought might be headed to the Capitol. It was a false alarm, but I’m glad to be off the side of the road by her house—after several hours of sitting there, one woman with the campaign broke off of a huddle in the driveway and approached my car. She asked if I needed help with anything, and I told her I was a reporter waiting to follow them down to the Capitol. I asked if she knew when they were leaving, and she said she didn’t—then jotted down my license plate number before returning to the house. Very exciting!

Apparently Shannon called Lars Larson earlier today and said they had about 61,000 signatures, and were going to hold off on turning them in until all stragglers were accounted for. I certainly didn’t see a flood of petitions flowing into her house—over the course of several hours, about a dozen people came by to drop off a few sheets each. By the time I left, there were six or seven cars in her driveway, most of which were red, white or blue minivans.

Since I’ve arrived at the Secretary of State’s office, I’ve learned that they called and said they’d be arriving at about 4:15 pm. So stay tuned—but I can’t imagine they’ve picked up more than another 1,000 today. If they turn in 62,000, they need an 88% validity rate—which would be a new state record.

There is an employee at the Mercury who reads incredibly fast. One day he asked me about a 350+ page book, and I told him that I liked it a lot. The next day, I brought it in as a loaner, but he told me that not only did he go buy it after work the night before, but he had already finished it. Ever since, when people ask me if I’m a fast reader, I have to pause and admit that I used to think so, but maybe I’m just slightly faster than average. As it turns out, there’s a whole strata of people out there who knock out two or three novels a day without breaking a sweat. There’s a great article here about super speed readers:

That figure of two minutes a page is the key. The memory and reading guru Tony Buzan, who wrote the Speed Reading Book for the BBC, believes people can do much better than that.

“Most people are not good readers at all. After university the average graduate reads one book a year. Even good readers are reading at half the speed they could be.

“A speed of a thousand words a minute is comfortably achievable on an appropriate text.”

Be sure to check out the article’s comments, because it’s a ton of BBC readers all trying to top each other with who can read the fastest. [“OK, probably quite easy. I have done Lord of the Rings, including Appendices, in 5 Days whilst on Holiday. The Last Harry Potter in 6 hours. The Da Vinci Code in one sitting over night!”]

Meanwhile, the American Institute of Graphic Design named their 100 favorite book covers of 2007, which is total porn for booklovers. It’s a predictably beautiful collection with sumptuous covers: I’m just really surprised that Chip Kidd and Thomas Allen’s James Ellroy covers didn’t make it, and have to wonder about #57? Seriously?

From the Huffington Post…

BEAVERTON, Ore. — Nike on Tuesday unveiled what it said is the first shoe designed specifically for American Indians, an effort aiming at promoting physical fitness in a population with high obesity rates.

Wait… WHAT?!?

The Beaverton-based company says the Air Native N7 is designed with a larger fit for the distinct foot shape of American Indians, and has a culturally specific look. It will be distributed solely to American Indians…

Wait… WHAT??

Nike said it is the first time it has designed a shoe for a specific race or ethnicity… Nike designers and researchers looked at the feet of more than 200 people from more than 70 tribes nationwide and found that in general, American Indians have a much wider and taller foot than the average shoe accommodates.

Sure that sounds reasona… wait. WHAT???

The design features several “heritage callouts” as one product manager described it, including sunrise to sunset to sunrise patterns on the tongue and heel of the shoe. Feather designs adorn the inside and stars are on the sole to represent the night sky.

Okay, so when is Nike coming out with the “Air Westward Expansion,” decorated with rifles and small pox blankets?

Get your fashion fix with the Mercury’s style blog, MOD!

Minutes ago, the mayor’s office handed over a press release announcing that the Drug and Prostitution Free Zone policies are no more.

The stated reason: Potter has determined that “both laws have not been effective in eliminating the drug addition [Guess he means “addiction”—Scott] that drives these crimes. Additionally, new data indicates a disparity in how the Drug Free Zone law has been enforced.”

I would never—never—say “We told you so,” but, hey, we told you so.

The decision to let the laws die is based on a report by consultant John Campbell, who found that African Americans are more likely to be excluded than Caucasians when arrested for drug offenses. Interestingly, the press release even includes a breakdown on how different drugs are treated, almost repeating word for word what I wrote about the data last week:

Arrests for methamphetamine account for much of the disparity, though not all of it. Exclusion rates for those arrested for cocaine (the majority of whom are African American) are significantly higher than exclusion rates for those arrested for exclusion-qualifying meth crimes (the majority of whom are White).

(Read Campbell’s full report in pdf here.)

“I have concluded that both programs are no longer serving their intended purpose and act only to suppress a serious community problem rather than solving it,” Potter is quoted as saying in the press release. “I believe there are better, more effective ways to solve drug dealing and prostitution so businesses and neighborhoods can be free from the toll these crimes take on our livability and sense of safety.”

It’s an about face for his office, which has spent the last two years seeking ways to justify the extension of the policy. Now that there is an analysis by a third-party consultant who has come to the same conclusions that critics have been pointing out for years, there’s little Potter could have done.

As an alternative, Potter is going to work with Randy Leonard on expanding drug treatment services and better utilizing the Project 57 program, which makes jail beds available for drug offenders so they’re not just returned to the streets (which, ahem, I wrote about here). I’m currently sitting in the lobby of Leonard’s office, waiting while he’s chatting with State Rep Chip Shields, a longtime vocal critic of the DFZs.

“This is a very good day for civil liberties, the Constitution, and public safety,” says Shields, who Leonard just jokingly referred to as a “complete pain in the ass.” Unlike the DFZs, Shields explains, expanding the Project 57 and treatment program will make sure that dealers’ lives are “significantly interrupted,” and they’ll be directed into treatment, which will actually deal with the base problem.

We’ve heard from multiple sources this afternoon that the mayor’s office is likely to announce it’s shutting down the controversial drug free zones shortly. The Mercury’s coverage and advocacy on this issue has been extensive, but you might like to start here.

Consultant John Campbell, who was analyzing the data on the zones for the mayor’s office, met again with the mayor’s staffers yesterday to deliver his final report. Campbell will not discuss details of the report until it’s released shortly, but we’ll have full coverage of its recommendations, and the mayor’s decision not to renew the controversial policy, just as soon as Scott has biked down to City Hall and roused Tom Potter from his slumber long enough to issue a statement.

None of the mayor’s staffers would return a call for comment over the last two hours.

I’m currently parked outside the Salem home of Marylin Shannon, spokesperson for the chief referendum petitioners who’d like to nuke the two recently passed gay rights laws. I figured it would be more interesting to wait here until they load up the minivans with petitions, and embark on an anti-gay pride parade to the elections office. So far, it’s boring. The petitioners are inside, likely tallying up their signatures and doing the math to predict whether they have enough of a buffer to score 55,179 valid signatures. (For what it’s worth, my math says they need over 75,000 to be safe.)

So Halo 3 is officially out, and nerds the world over are behaving like this:

That photo’s from the Times, where they also have a pretty good story about the whole phenomenon.

“In our first few hours on sale, all signs indicate that we will indeed have achieved the biggest entertainment retail day in history,” Microsoft said in a statement.

“This is the Mecca of the video game world right here, right now,” Carl Gunther, a 23-year-old marketing researcher from Brooklyn, said Monday night as he joined hundreds of other fans in a long line outside a Best Buy in Midtown Manhattan.

“Halo is the Star Wars of this generation,” Mr. Gunther added. “Thirty years ago my father waited in line to see Star Wars, and I know I’ll tell my kids I stood in line to buy Halo 3. It’s like saying you were at Woodstock or something.”

Okay, so that’s a bit hyperbolic, but still. The sad part for a whole lot of gamers who camped out? When they finally got the game, the discs were scratched. Nice one, Microsoft.

Anyway, anybody got it yet? It’s supposed to be pretty solid. (We’ll have a review in next week’s Mercury.) Do share what you think, because I have no idea what it’s like: Since I’m an idiot, I pre-ordered my copy on Amazon, assuming they’d send out early so that it’d arrive on Tuesday. But yes, as one particularly jackassy junior high teacher of mine was fond of saying, “Assuming makes an ass out of ‘u’ and ‘me’,” and no, Amazon didn’t send it out early, so now I get to wait until it arrives. (Actually, wait—I’m not the idiot, Amazon is. Why the hell couldn’t they send it out early? Whatever. Nice one, Amazon.) So now instead of playing Halo 3 in my sweet homemade Master Chief armor, I just get to wear it while I sit around my house (it chafes), occasionally checking my game’s excruciatingly slow shipping status online. Apparently they’re shipping it via tortoise; it is currently in Allentown, Pensylvania. And the disc’s probably already scratched to shit. Alas.

It’s the night everyone has been waiting for! (And by “everyone” I mean everyone who gets hot thinking about sexy robot cyborgs… which is everyone, right?) Here’s what’s happening on TV tonight!

• 9:00 NBC BIONIC WOMAN—After suffering an accident, a gal is given awesome super-powered robot parts by her scientist boyfriend. Naturally, all she does is complain about it. (Can someone please switch off her “NAG NAG NAG” chip?)

• 9:00 ABC PRIVATE PRACTICE—Finally, a Grey’s Anatomy spin-off! Obviously the producers realized that one Grey’s Anatomy wasn’t enough for me to put a bullet in my skull.

• 10:00 NBC LIFE—After being falsely imprisoned, a cop rejoins the force… but everybody thinks he’s nuts because he eats a ton of fruit. Uhhh… huh?

• 10:00 ABC DIRTY SEXY MONEY—Six Feet Under’s Peter Krause returns in this fun soapy mystery about a lawyer that gets embroiled in a family’s misdeeds. (Sorry, no sexy cyborgs here.)

SPEAKING OF SEXY CYBORGS… Check out this classic Bionic Woman clip where she kicks the ass of those super hot FEMBOTS! (Super hot in a soccer mom sort of way.)

Napoleon said that. So here’s the picture:
ME AS NAPOLEON: A natural choice…

I know what you’re thinking: “Isn’t it a bit small? A bit under-stated? Couldn’t he have got a bigger frame?” And you’re right. Next year, when I turn 29, I’m thinking of getting something much larger done. Your suggestions for characters, poses and the like are hereby openly solicited. Please leave them in the comments.

Oh, and the talented artist, Monet Molina, is now accepting commissions for delivery by Christmas. You can drop her an email to talk things over. And no, she didn’t give me a discount to say that. But her prices are very reasonable, so it doesn’t really matter.

Love singing? Love America? Love not paying to get into Blazers games?

If you answered YES to any of these questions (especially the America one), then stroll on down to the Rose Room at the Rose Garden today, from noon to 6pm, for the national anthem open auditions. The winners get to show off their vocal skills before a Blazers game, possibly risking failure in front of thousands of people.

Good luck!

Just as long as you are better than Carl Lewis, you’ll do fine.

MP3:
Carl Lewis - Star Spangled Banner

Link courtesy of Casey Holdahl’s Blazer Blog.

Ding, ding ding! Corey Flintoff at NPR finally figures out Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. His inflammatory statements aren’t meant for international consumption, but to shore up his fragile power base in Iran. American leaders’ knee jerk condemnations of him? Exactly what he’s hoping for. Yeah, he’s still a dick and a madman, but so is our president.

It’s number four for Keifer Sutherland!

Larry Craig’s attempt to have his guilty plea thrown out will be heard today by a judge in Minneapolis today. Good luck with that, Larry.

Rudy Giuliani—imbecile, or political genius? His campaign effort to get supporters to donate $9.11 has drawn anger from the international firefighters association—and every other sensible person on the planet—but, shudder, middle America just might eat this crap up.

Oh please please please, wise old man in the sky, let Republican presidential candidates embrace George W. Bush on the campaign trail.

An apparent bomb, taped to a employee by gunmen, was used to rob a bank in Hollywood, Florida.

Is the old Linnton Plywood Mill site headed for the dump?

Why do black Americans continue to boycott L.L. Bean? Perhaps the answer lies in this hilarious report from THE ONION.

African-American Boycott of L.L. Bean Enters 80th Year

Look for more stylish fun on the Mercury’s fashion blog, MOD!

While I collect a big fat paycheck for my blogging skills, I’m not an expert on everything. There is one thing I don’t know a lick about, and that’s the confusing world of twee music. What is it? What does it sound like? If I touch it, will it burn me?

So in order to better understand this baffling scene, I turn to the charming Curt Kentner of local label Magic Marker Records. The self-proclaimed “King of Twee,” (seriously, the vanity plate of his PT Cruiser is TWEEKNG, although that could mean “tweaking,” I’m not sure) Kentner volunteered his writing skills to explain to us all why tonight’s show by Melbourne, Australia’s The Lucksmiths is the can’t miss concert of 2007.

My friend Ezra asked me to write a few words about The Lucksmiths for tonight’s show. Sure he used flattery, but I would have done it either way.

I la la love The Lucksmiths. So much so I volunteered my wife to go pick them up at the train station which they should be getting here about now. The word that comes to mind to describe The Lucksmiths is CHARMING.The Billy Bragg-style lyrics combined with the Housemartins’ hooks is just the start. They catch you completely off guard and will instantly turn you into a Lucksmith fanatic. Marty’s heartbreaking turn of phrases combined with Tali’s crooner vocals will have you trying to buy merch halfway through the second song. Mark’s bass playing and snappy stage banter will have you wearing the tour shirt you just bought by the fourth song. Louie’s guitar and tough guy good looks will have you volunteering to have your wife pick them up at the train station for the next show.

See you there!

MP3:
The Lucksmiths - Camera Shy

The Lucksmiths perform tonight at Holocene.

Former Club 21 bartender Reed Lamb’s new East Burnside bar, the Standard, had its grand opening over the weekend.

And it’s great. I’ve been hearing about the place for a while (Amy wrote about some of the resistance he faced from the neighbors here), and looking forward to it, but I was still taken aback by what a nice job Reed has done (I guess on some level I expected an extension of the Club… though I believe he did poach some of his staff from both Club 21 and the Blue Diamond).

It’s a big, well-designed space with lots of striking details: a fractured, piecemeal mirror behind the bar; a glass-encased bartop glinting with a mosaic of bits of CDs that have been microwaved, broken, and tinted; a tattered American flag against one wall.

Pool, shuffleboard, Silver Strike Bowling, a decent jukebox, a huge patio with umbrella-covered picnic tables, smoking indoors and out. There’s a comfort-food heavy dinner menu (crockpot stew, scalloped ham and potatoes… like rontom’s, minus the pretensiousness. [No offense rontom’s, I’ll see you later tonight]).

Cell phone photos after the jump.

Check it out for yourself, 14 NE 22nd

Anybody watch Heroes last night? Register your valued opinion below in our comments section. Now, on to tonight’s picks!

• 8:00 FOX BONES—David Boreanaz returns for another season of this fairly underwhelming series. “I knew Angel, and you sir, are no Angel.”

• 9:00 FOX HOUSE—The season premiere of another monosyllabic show, which I believe will eventually become this generation’s Matlock.

• 9:00 CW REAPER— Now THIS is the show you should watch tonight! Not only is it directed by Kevin Smith, it stars Bret Harrison who’s from Tualatin, and Ray Wise from Twin Peaks!

• 10:00 CBS CANE— Yet ANOTHER monosyllabic title, this Latino Dynasty stars Jimmy Smits.

• And if you must… 8:00 ABC DANCING WITH THE STARS—I hate this show, and yet it continues to pull me in like a demented tractor beam. Check out “Cheetah Girl” (aka FREAKAZOID) Sabrina Bryan on last night’s episode. She’s a good dancer and all… but EEEESH! That face has got to go! (Jump to 2:21 to see the dance.)

I realize I’m in the minority here, but I think Jessica Biel is ugly. I also think she’s a fucking terrible actress. But hey, that’s just me. Anyway, she’s definitely not somebody who should be playing a strong, iconic character like Wonder Woman—but that’s not stopping Warner Bros. from wanting to cast her anyway in the big Justice League flick they’re trying to get off the ground. From Variety:

Jessica Biel is in talks to lasso up as Wonder Woman in Warner Bros.’ all-star superhero film Justice League of America.

Potential deal marks the first piece of casting to emerge from the DC Comics-based ensemble project, which is expected to feature Superman, Batman, the Flash and Aquaman in addition to Wonder Woman.

George Miller boarded the bigscreen adaptation last week as helmer.

Biel is filming the indie drama Powder Blue, which wraps in October, opposite Forest Whitaker. That leaves room on the actress’ schedule for Justice, which Warner is fast-tracking as a project before any potential strikes. However, the film’s likelihood hinges on the studio’s ability to assemble a cast of superheroes in a small window of time. Christian Bale and Brandon Routh—Warner’s reigning Batman and Superman, respectively—are not expected to join the production.

Jesus Christ this sounds like a mess. Recasting Superman and Batman, adding in Biel, and trying to throw it all together really quickly? Makes me wonder even more what Joss Whedon’s Wonder Woman would have looked like. (However troubled that whole clusterfuck was, I’m pretty sure Whedon’s flick wouldn’t have starred Biel, at least.) And this whole Justice League thing, in general, just kind of reminds me of Batman & Robin. Except now with that goddamn Aquaman loser. Wince.

There’s a fantastic front page story in the Tribune this morning, called “JAILHOUSE KNOCKS” about the apparently systemic jail beatings going on at the downtown justice center. I particularly liked this line on page 5:

The video, first made public by The Portland Mercury, shows deputies grabbing Evans for no visible provocation and throwing him to the ground.

While there are paragraphs with headlines that could have been written by the County’s PR, such as, “scene can be congenial,” and “one man bangs own head,” (I mean, come on, guys, really…) I’m really pleased the Tribune’s editors have let Nick Budnick write about this important issue at last. And they do let him get away with some zingers about Sheriff Bernie Giusto:

“It’s Bernie. What do you expect when you’ve got no checks and balances whatsoever?”

That’s what you get when you’re Nick Budnick—people will talk shit on the record to you occasionally. Sometimes I’m jealous of that, as a reporter. Most law enforcement people run a metaphorical mile when I call them for a quote on a story, and they’re probably right to. Still, I got there first:

EVANS BEATING: KGW commentator said “not anything excessive…” when we broke the story in July…

For the Mercury’s breaking coverage of this particular story, which has since involved more victims coming forth, and an FBI investigation, and dates back two months, you could do worse than click on these links: 1. 2. 3. 4. and don’t forget, 5. And thanks for the credit, Nick. I appreciate it. Sulzberger at the Oregonian wouldn’t credit me on his story, or you, either, and his daddy runs the New York Times! [wipes hand down face, in favorite new written gesture to sum up attitude to Portland’s media in general].

Helmet’s biggest claim to fame was that they were the metal band (although their roots were always a little closer to Amp Rep post-hardcore) with short hair. Years before Metallica cut off their locks in unison, metal acts had one universal haircut, so to stray from the template could be a real selling point.

Nowadays, they are still plugging away, with frontman Page Hamilton being the last original member. But I have to admit, it’s been 15 years and this song still sounds pretty good…

Helmet perform tonight at the Hawthorne Theatre.

From Maxine Bernstein at the Oregonian, who is clearly back from maternity leave with a vengeance:

John Canda, hired last year to set up the mayor’s new Office of Youth Violence Prevention, was told late today he’d have to resign or face firing because he was rarely in the office and often could not be located.

Mayor Tom Potter hired Canda in mid-July 2006 to coordinate a regional approach to youth- and gang-violence prevention. Canda’s salary was $67,000.

Bloody hell, where did that come from?! Good to have you back, Maxine. Anyway, here’s Canda, pictured earlier this year by Bikeportland.org’s Jonathan Maus:
CANDA: Reaching out…

I blame Potter’s lack of support and leadership for Canda’s failure to achieve. As a community outreach director, one would expect the guy to be out in the community and not sat behind his desk. But Potter has always been vague about what community actually means, and even Canda’s hiring was political. So his firing probably is, too.

Canda is not answering his cell phone this morning. But having met him several times I was left with the impression of a man who a) dressed extremely well, b) formed inter-personal connections quickly and effortlessly, c) spoke his mind, and d) was often reluctant to be specific about what his job entailed.

I’m not sure I could be specific about his job, either. But then, that’s Tom Potter all over: “Blahblahblahcommunityblahblahcommunityblahblahblaaaaah.” John, when you fancy spilling the beans to a sympathetic ear, give me a call or drop me an email.

Three cheers for 72-year-old Mercury reader Gary Livingston who has challenged us and the world to a fistfight after reading the following letter published in this week’s edition:

DEAR MERCURY—Brad Pitt is crying about being old and ugly and creaky at 43 [One Day at a Time, Sept 13]? I’m 43, in the best shape of my life—without the benefit of a personal trainer or belonging to some punkass health club—still routinely get carded, and I’ll kick Brad’s wrinkly old ass any day of the goddamn week.

Jason “The Hammer” Smith

Apparently, Gary doesn’t get that this letter is from a reader, and not a Mercury employee, and we’re not exactly sure what he’s mad about… BUT THAT’S BESIDE THE POINT! Gary wants a fight, and he wants one NOW!!
CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO GARY’S RANT!

Check out this hee-LARIOUS interview of a poop-faced drunk KANYE WEST from this Friday’s Wendy Williams Experience (VH1, 9:30 pm), reminding everybody how super-duper awesome he is. And you agree, right? Because you two are like Siamese twins!

Photo: Shervin Lainez

Yesterday was the release date for Places, the debut record from Georgie James. The duo (not a Georgie or a James in the bunch) of John Davis (he used to be in Q and Not U) and Laura Burhenn (a respective solo performer) are behind one of this year’s best—and most underrated—albums.

If the latest from The New Pornographers didn’t really do it for you, then please check out Places. It’s smart and stylish pop music that comes off as absolutely effortless.

MP3:
Georgie James - Need Your Needs

It’s a long ways away, but Georgie James will perform at Holocene on November 3rd.

It’s David Crowe’s latest email message to his anti-gay followers (and media spies!), and this one contains a skit for stay-at-home moms—because they LOOOOVE the telephone!

How we will WIN in 30 Hours! Tuesday, 7AM, September 25, 2007

WITH “STAY AT HOME MOMS! and their favorite communication tool … THE TELEPHONE!

Moms: Please Call other ‘moms’ on your street or on your list, or in your home or Bible study group, family or church, THIS MORNING!

Say something like …

“Hi Judy! Do you have a minute? Remember when we voted to keep marriage between a man and a woman only a couple of years ago in Oregon…and won?” “Yes. Whats up?”

Explain to them you have less than 30 hours to collect and deliver 100 signatures to Salem on your petitions to protect marriage and morality in Oregon.

Then ask them to come by and sign and make calls to their list, asking their friends to go to your home to sign ALL DAY TODAY and into this evening [Jesus will pick up your kids from school, and make their dinner, if you just BELIEVE he will. -ed.]. Give your phone number to them and ask those who are interested in helping or doing the same, to CALL YOU! Arrange for them to come by, SIGN, and take petitions if they wish to do the same with their circle of friends

Have them return the signed petitions to be placed with yours first thing in the morning if you live within a few hours of Salem.

During the day today, find a willing and available person who will deliver the completed petitions by noon tomorrow, Wednesday the 26th.

In the Portland Metro area, please call me at 503.490.3600 if you need petitions or to arrange for pick up Wednesday AM.

If you live in Southern Oregon, please call Bryan Platt at Valley Vinyl in Medford at 541-773-5666 to see if arrangements have been made to deliver petitions by noon on Wednesday.

We are so very close! Please prayerfully do all you can today to make sure we reach our goal!

He is WITH US! [Sadly, He will not do the laundry to free you up to run this phone tree. -ed.]

While we’re making fun of Crowe, I’ve heard another laughable bit of news—apparently the anti-gay petitioners set a very low bar for themselves, hoping to collect between 60,000 and 65,000 signatures on each of their two petitions to put new gay rights laws to a public vote. The problem is, they have to have at least 55,179 valid signatures—and a buffer of less than 10,000 signatures is rarely, if ever, sufficient to guarantee that you have enough valid names. Plus, it’s clear from Crowe’s email blasts—and other sources—that they’re still a few thousand short of their own short sighted goal. But we’ll know tomorrow if what they’re saying about their goals and progress is accurate, when they turn everything in to the Secretary of State’s office.

1.BIRTHDAY! (Mine.) (And music editor Ezra’s, too.) (We share it with Michael Douglas, Defense Secretary Robert Gates, British Comedian Ronnie Barker, Barbara Walters, Pedro Almodovar, Christopher Reeve, Heather Locklear, Scottie Pippen, Will Smith, Catherine Zeta-Jones (who happens to be married to Michael Douglas—birthdays are doubly fun in their house, I’m sure…), Chauncey Billups, and Jodie Kidd. The rock band, U2 was formed on this day in 1976, and inappropriately enough, the Columbia Graduate School of Journalism (which I did not attend) was founded on this day in 1912.) Don’t all rush at once.

2.MONKS! Burmese anti-government protests move into their eighth day. I’ve got a bad feeling about this. And in a bizarre move, President Bush announces U.N sanctions against the country’s government. Since when did he give a shit about diplomacy? Just bomb the shit out of the monks, George, and bring sexy back.
MONKS: Obviously terrrrrrists…

3.BRITS OUT OF IRAQ! Speaking of justice and stability: It’s been nice knowing you, chaps.

4.AHMADINEJAD! Says some spectacularly unsurprising things to Columbia students in New York. Nobody reports that “he’s just enjoying the attention,” but take it from someone who knows.

5.DE-FRIENDING! Finally, someone writes about Facebook etiquette.

Good day. And you might want to pray for those monks. Or meditate for them, or whatever’s more culturally appropriate. Just be nice to a monk today. That ought to do it. Ommmmmmmm….

From the e-mailbag:

Mercury,

I really enjoyed your Butter Hogs article, outing the filthiest butter-hoggers in the city. I must say, though, that I was greatly offended at your lack of diversity. Since Portland is consistently ranked among the top vegan-friendly cities in the nation, it is an egregious blunder to leave Vegan Butter Hogs out of the mix! They walk among us, of that I am certain. Buttery goodness drips down their vegan chins. These butter hogs slather the artificial yellow stuff on any food item they can find to scarf down, from waffles to fakin’ bacon. Evidence attached.

- Concerned Citizen

VEGANS: Can be villains, too…

Today’s episode of “Hello, Japan!” features two commercials extolling the virtues of “food.”
First, it’s obviously not enough to have a “soy sauce” flavored chip. You want your soy sauce to be FUNKY!

Secondly, when you’re having trouble with your sex life, who do you call? Me, I call in THE COLONEL! (And I ask him to bring the chicken.)

A few weeks ago I applied to the Citizens’ Police academy. Having submitted eight references, some of whom called me afterwards to say the cops kept asking them if I’d ever “done anything inappropriate” or talked about it, or whether I had any substance abuse or alcohol abuse issues (hic), it turns out you may now call me “Mr.Gutenberg.”

September 24, 2007

Dear Mr. Davis:

Congratulations, you have been selected to attend the upcoming Portland Police Bureau Citizen Police Academy. The first class will be held on Tuesday, October 2, 2007, from 6:30 p.m. to 9:30 p.m., at the Justice Center, 1111 SW 2nd Avenue on the 11th floor in the Training Division’s classroom. Please park in the parking structure located at SW 1ST Avenue and Jefferson Street. Bring your parking receipt with you to class and we will validate it.

Attached you will find the schedule for the Citizen Police Academy. There are eleven classes running through December 4, 2007. There will be no classes the week of November 19 through November 23, 2007 (Thanksgiving break). The first class will be held in a classroom, so outdoor gear is not required. Please dress in casual business attire.

We look forward to meeting you and developing a long-term partnership so we can make our city a better place to live.

If you have any questions, please feel free to contact Kristi Brant at 503-823-0545 or by email at kbrant@portlandpolice.org

Sincerely,

JOSEPH A. SCHILLING
Acting Sergeant, Training Division

Now, where did I put my “casual business attire…”

Wow. I’m perversely impressed. (Just for comparison: Resident Evil: Extinction, Rush Hour 3, Balls of Fury.)

This week on Pure Pod for Now People, Matt calls Nick Lowe his candy bar and reflects upon his true love—the Buffalo Bills. Magsy gets a pair of new tattoos and giggles at the word ninny. The pair discuss their upcoming travel plans and share a sweet AM Gold Moment. Music by Devo, the Exploding Hearts, Husker Du, Todd Rundgren, and more. Welcome to Episode 37 of Pure Pod for Now People.

Still confused about Measure 49, the November ballot measure that aims to amend Measure 37? Still confused about Measure 37?

Then you should join us and the Bus Project tomorrow night for another installment of Debate Club, where we’ll have County Commissioner Jeff Cogen representing the Yes on 49 side, and Matt Green-Hite from m49fix.com representing the opposition (you should also go to the official opposition site, Stop49.com, for more).

Long story short, this debate is about the future of Oregon’s landscape, and whether private property rights and protecting the environment (and family farms, etc.) can be balanced.

Debate Club
Tuesday, September 25
7pm
rontoms, 600 E Burnside
(Sorry, kids. It’s 21 and over.)

Like backlit perms?

Then you’ll love this video for “Let Me In,” the latest in a series of mediocre Hot Hot Heat singles. While the band used to set the dance floor ablaze with their keyboard-heavy post-punk, their recent major label releases are a bit too slick for my ears.

Well, at least his hair looks tight.

Hot Hot Heat perform tonight at the Wonder Ballroom.

First Meg White, now Betty White?

This clip is DIRTY, FILTHY and downright NASTY, so proceed with caution.

Oh, and NSFW.

I received a box of brownies in the mail today.

“More than 1,300 journalists across America received “Sweet News” today in a surprise package with over a dozen delicious brownies inside, hand-baked by a professional pastry chef. Their challenge: to see if they can tell which brownies were made with Controltrim, a revolutionary new fat replacement developed by the USDA, available exclusively at LA Weight Loss, that replaces fat and calories, but not flavor. The results of the Contoltrim Challenge will be provided exclusively to participating reporters.”

The text on the box encouraged me to share the brownies around the newsroom, take a survey to see which brownies my colleagues think are “healthier” (the brownies are identical, save that there are yellow stickers on the bottoms of some of them), and report the results back to LA Weight loss.

Surprisingly, the brownies remain untouched. My colleagues here at the Mercury have been dismayingly unwilling to participate in the Control Trim Challenge, and have in fact done nothing but mumble phrases like “anal leakage” and “not your cancerous guinea pig.”

The new fall season of shows are gearing up this week, and tonight is almost a geek’s wet dream (the actual wet dream would be Wednesday night, when Bionic Woman debuts). For example…

• 8:00 NBC CHUCK—Big box computer geek gets uploaded with government secrets and becomes a marginally willing super-spy. Enter this with mid-to-low expectations and you should be okay.

• 8:00 ABC DANCING WITH THE STARS—My former fave show is back, with more D-list celebs than ever, including Wayne Newton, Marie Osmond and Jennie Garth.

• 9:00 NBC HEROES— After last season’s lackluster finale, America is finally waking up to the idea that there’s less to this show than meets the eye. (However, it’s still #5 on my TiVo season pass list, if that says anything.)

• 9:00 VH1 THE PICK-UP ARTIST— (Season Finale!) If you haven’t at least checked out this reality contest about the king of all douchebags teaching douchebags-in-the-making how to pick up chicks, you are really missing a jaw-dropping show.

• 10:00 NBC JOURNEYMAN—It’s about a guy who can go back in time to right wrongs. Sounds like Sliders and Quantum Leap, huh? Well, if it doesn’t star Dean Stockwell or the fat kid from Stand By Me, I want nothing to do with it!

By the way, does anybody remember the TV show, MATT HOUSTON starring Lee Horsley? I wouldn’t mind riding THAT mustache.

Then here’s an event for you, via the St. Johns Sentinel:

Come listen to Los Rebeldes while supporting the effort to rename Interstate Avenue after Cesar E. Chavez! Thunder Ranch has agreed to donate a portion of the evening’s proceeds to the Cesar E. Chavez Boulevard Committee.

Tex Mex Dance featuring “Los Rebeldes”
Saturday, September 29, 2007, 9pm
Thunder Ranch Night Club
13456 SE McLoughlin Blvd
$10 at the door

Note the address—the party in support of renaming a street in North Portland is happening in Milwaukie. Or, farther away from Interstate than Interstate is long.

Here’s the latest from Restore America’s David Crowe, on the anti-gay referenda campaign:

2000 More Signatures Needed by Wednesday! September 24, 2007

Don’t listen to the MEDIA which suggested last night that we would not make the required number, showing video of men kissing and Governor Kulongoski and former Governore Barbara Roberts rejoicing at the capitol! The Portland liberal media does not want us to succeed!

Over 5,000 Signatures came in to Concerned Oregonians at 9PM yesterday from around the State of Oregon through the Courier System! The media DOES NOT KNOW [Ahem. -ed.] BUT THEY ARE TRYING TO DISCOURAGE YOU! Thanks All who labored and delivered!

2000 MORE ARE NEEDED IN THE NEXT 48 HOURS TO PUT US OVER THE TOP!

Deliver them to the Chief Petitioners!
You may deliver petitions to:
Marilyn Shannon, 7955 Portland Road NE, Salem, OR 97305

They MUST be at that address no later than noon on Wednesday, September 26th.

We are almost there!
Determine to get ten more signatures in the next 24-48 hours, and we will go over the top!

Take two remaining petitons wherever you can find them, and go to wherever the LORD leads you to ten people to sign and either deliver them directly to the above address of Fed Ex them tomorrow so they will arrive by Noon on Wednesday. The petitions will be delivered to the Secretary of State by 3PM Wednesday.

As Winston Churchill said, “Never, Never, Never Give Up!

Last week, Marylin Shannon was saying they had about 40,000 signatures and wanted 25K more to have enough of a buffer to get through signature verification. Crowe says they only need 2,000 now. Do we believe him? Were their final efforts this past weekend successful?

Are they going to turn in just a few signatures over the 55,179 needed—turning this into a nail biting signature verification session? Or! Are they not even going to squeeze out 55K? Looks like we’ll find out on Wednesday afternoon. (My money was on scenario #2—I was betting they’d turn in 60,000. Now I’m leaning toward door number three…)

At the early hour of 8 am this morning (good god!), a couple dozen labor activists showed up at Congressman Earl Blumenauer’s office carrying bags of rice and corn and proceeded to make themselves comfortable for a stand-in, protesting Bluemenauer’s expected yes vote on extending free trade to Peru.

The deal would extend the North American Free Trade Agreement to is a new free trade agreement with Peru—the activists, including members of Portland Central American Solidarity Committee (PCASC) and Richard Beetle, the head of Laborers Local 483, argue it will dump tons of artificially cheap goods like rice and corn onto the Peruvian market, endangering local farmers. It’s already passed through the Senate, and is scheduled for a vote at the House Ways and Means Committee, on which Blumenauer sits, tomorrow.

Blumenauer has remained cagey about how he’s going to vote. At a town hall meeting yesterday at the Hollywood Theater, attendees asked him about the Peru deal, but he refused to discuss it.

So, at 8 am this morning (good god!), activists showed up demanding an answer from him. They promised to hang out until they got him on the phone—or got arrested. “Why,” they asked, “would a liberal Democrat from on the of the most liberal districts in the country support a trade deal that’s bad for workers?” They didn’t get an answer.

Shortly after 9 am, the protesters started blocking one of the doors that leads to the office. That expedited their arrest. About 30 minutes ago, the police hauled off the four PCASC members still camped out—they were charged with trespassing.

Well, ha ha, it’s not really breaking news, since Randy Leonard announced that he’d be running again more than a year ago, right here on this very blog.

But just a bit ago, he officially announced his campaign in a press release trumpeting his accomplishments, including:

*Recognizing the benefits to our local economy and the environment, as well as the dangers of our dependence on foreign oil, Randy wrote and passed an ordinance that makes Portland the only city in the U.S. to require that all diesel fuel sold in Portland contain at least 5% biodiesel. This established a reliable market for Oregon farmers and refiners, who will now produce and sell nearly 5 million gallons of biodiesel to Portland each year.

*In response to the overcrowding of County jails, and the resulting release of meth dealers and other criminals who would normally be jailed, Randy initiated “Project 57,” which gave Portland Police exclusive access to 57 jail beds to be used for Portland criminals who would otherwise be released. Randy’s Project 57 program has reduced repeat offenses among Portland’s top 300 criminals by 71%.

*Randy led the charge to eliminate tax abatements for high priced market rate condominiums and instituted checks and balances for low income housing abatements granted by the Portland Development Commission.

Randy Leonard preparing for his campaign

It comes on the heels of an announcement by local transportation activist Chris Smith, who is running for the commission seat currently occupied by Sam Adams. Smith will be making his decision final during a press conference scheduled for this Wednesday at 9:00 am at Skidmore Fountain. He’s already got Michael Powell of Powell’s Books (like Smith, an active proponent of the streetcar) and the Bicycle Transportation Alliance’s Scott Bricker on board his campaign committee.

Adams’ seat now has two candidates officially gunning for it (Smith and Charles Lewis), but no word yet from the commissioner himself, who says he won’t make an announcement for several more days.

Since we’ve already covered an alleged sex tape and a woman vomiting (albeit gracefully), why not go for the hat trick?

It is safe for work (Not NSFW = NNSFW?), and watch closely…

One thing you will NEVER see in America: A hot game show host who vomits on camera, and then makes a startlingly smooth recovery! Only in Sweden, people. Only in Sweden.

Here are the three things I most dread hearing:
“I’m pregnant.”
“The new Fergie album drops today!”
“Joined on the tablas by a member of The Yeah Yeah Yeahs.”

But after watching the above video of Oakley Hall’s “Bear My Burden,” where YYY drummer Brian Chase adds some Indian percussion, I guess you can cross that one off the list. The song is nice and mellow, a bit jammy at times, but still restrained and melodic.

MP3:
Oakley Hall - Rue The Blues

Oakley Hall perform tonight at the Doug Fir.

I opened up the internet this morning and was greeted with a new sex video by the always-hot White Stripes drummer Meg White. (Totally NSFW, obviously.)Unfortunately, Michal Gondry didn’t direct this one, so there’s no polyrhythmic Lego construction going on, but still: Meg White bonin’!

Boston’s airport security freaked out on Friday over an MIT student’s light up sweatshirt. “Star Anna Simpson of Hawaii approached an information booth at Terminal C about 8 a.m. wearing a black, hooded sweatshirt with a lit circuit board connected to a 9-volt battery, inquiring about an inbound Continental Airlines flight. In her hand, she was also carrying a 5- to 6-ounce glob of what turned out to be Play-Doh.”

Marcel Marceau is dead.

73,000 United Auto Workers union members just went on strike.

Are Democracts courting the evangelical vote? (Follow up: If so, does this mean I’ll have to join the Republican party?)

An earthquake jostled Willamette Valley last night. Anyone feel it?

The Associated Press reported this weekend that the anti-gay campaign only had about 40,000 signatures four days before the deadline to turn them into the Secretary of State. They need over 55,000 valid ones to make it on the ballot.