At this point, with five hours still left until Justin Timberlake takes the stage at the Rose Garden (EEEEEEEEEE!!!), there are only a few things left that can take my mind off of what will surely be the show of the century—and that’s watching a dramatic (and unsuccessful) reenactment of a miniature horse with a really huge dong trying to rape a full-grown horse. Don’t worry: This is Judge Joe Brown’s show we’re talking about here, and the dong is blurred. BUT WOW! THAT IS ONE BIG BLUR.