Besides ruining the world for the rest of us, butter gluttons are also exposing themselves to the deadly disease known as Butter Lung—which is basically the same as punishment from the hand of God.

Butter Lung, or bronchiolitis obliterans, affects people who gorge themselves on popcorn soaked in chemical butter. It also blights those unfortunate souls who work in microwavable popcorn factory or behind the cinema popcorn machine, a.k.a butter slaves.

Earlier this month, the New York Times published an article about self-proclaimed “Mr. Popcorn,” who was diagnosed with this disease. Mr. Popcorn had eaten microwavable popcorn twice a day for over ten years, often deeply inhaling its buttery aroma of death.

According to the article and Representative Rosa DeLauro, unsurprisingly, “The government is not doing anything.”

Mr. Popcorn is currently recovering.

-Jennifer Furniss