Funny story: People who go to see horror-action movies on opening day at 2:45 pm are creepy. Since the studio didn’t screen Resident Evil: Extinction for critics, I went to a matinée today so we’d have a review. (Also because I liked the last Resident Evil flick way more than I expected to. Even though it was pretty much awful, I had a surprisingly good time with the last one. Maybe it was the scene with mutant zombie firing a rocket launcher that did it.)

Anyway. Man, I thought I’d be the only guy sitting there alone, watching some hot chicks gorily kill zombies, but apparently there’s a real market for this sort of thing, as in addition to few teenagers and couples, there were like seven other guys in the theater, all alone, vaguely creepy/loner-y, eagerly waiting for Milla Jovovich to start hacking up the undead. The whole thing was really weird and kind of uncomfortable. What I’m getting at is that if you’re going to see Resident Evil: Extinction alone in the middle of the afternoon, maybe you should rethink your life a little bit. I know I have.

Anyway, here’s the short review from Found It!, where we also have all our other film shorts and showtimes.

Resident Evil: Extinction

By my rough calculations, Resident Evil: Extinction, the third and final film in the series about supermodels killing zombies, is roughly 98 percent horrible. A lifeless (HA!) hodgepodge of Mad Max, Return of the Jedi, Alien: Resurrection, Day of the Dead (actually, Extinction swipes from all of the Romero zombie movies, especially that shitty newest one), X-Men, The Birds, Jurassic Park, and (sure, why not?) Japanese tentacle porn, there’s a somewhat endearing sense of “Anything goes!” to this flat, desert-set action flick. But after about a half hour, “Anything goes!” begins to feel a lot like “Eh, what the fuck ever.” While I suppose one could make the argument that you really haven’t experienced all that modern cinema has to offer until you’ve seen zombies climbing the replica of the Eiffel Tower in post-apocalyptic Las Vegas, I think one could also make the argument that if you’re in the mood for stupid, stupid zombies-vs.-supermodels action, Resident Evil: Apocalypse is the film to rent. (Yes. I just recommended Resident Evil 2 over Resident Evil 3. I don’t know how I feel about that, either.) ERIK HENRIKSEN