A brand new missive just landed n our inbox from a man who’s quickly becoming my favorite candidate for Senate: Pavel Goberman.

Goberman runs a program called “Get Energized!” It’s a kind of fitness regime that he’s been trying to get the City of Portland to contract with in order to lower city health care costs. He’s also trying to run for Senate, and he’s pissed—absolutely pissed!—that the Oregonian has so far ignored his campaign. On August 8, he appeared before city council in an attempt to have the O’s business license revoked because they wouldn’t write about him. The video is here (fast forward to 10:44, unless you want to see a performance by the finalists of Portland Teen Idol).

Get Energized. Or else…

Since I don’t want to repeat the same horrible mistakes the newspaper of record has made, here’s what the future junior Senator from Oregon has to say:

Candidates for Mayor of Portland and City Council: Change Dirty Diapers!

Portland Police violated my civil and human rights: made me criminal without any evidence, without prove, without any court order. My many Complaints to Portland Police, Mayor Portland and City Council left without any action. It is support criminal actions of Portland Police.

The Oregonian newspaper did discrimination against me, violated my Freedom of Speech. My Complaint to Mayor Potter and City Council to suspend business license left without any action. It is support of crime of the Oregonian. What a garbage Mayor Potter and all members of City Council. They do NOT support the Constitution of the USA, and on base of Amendment Seventh they can’t hold any office and must be fired.

Also Mayor Potter and all members of City Council are very poor managers: do NOT care about city spending. I spoke before City Council and offered my 3-min workout and my fitness program for all city employees, which may save city / taxpayers up to 50% on medical spending, but …… who care? They are spending not own money.

Candidates for city Mayor and Council: change dirty diapers. All members of current Council must go. Change dirty diapers. All of you may use this my testimony against your opponents.

I’m going to file a lawsuit against Mayor Potter.

Pavel Goberman - Candidate for US Senator.

Perhaps if Bob Ball wants to salvage his run for mayor, he should join forces with Goberman. Together, they can change dirty diapers.

Goberman’s campaign message can be found here. If you read only one bizarre missive from a perennial candidate today, make it that one.

*In case it’s not obvious, I’m pretty sure I was joking about the endorsement. Though, the more I read from Goberman, the more he makes sense…