Alex the Parrot, who, let’s face it, is smarter than 80 percent of the U.S. population, died last week at the age of 31.

Alex “had the communicative abilities of a young child” and was able to comprehend and express concepts, needs, and emotions.

Oh, and he could tolerate Alan Alda without pecking out his eyes. See for yourself here.

His last words: “You be good, see you tomorrow. I love you.”

This is why I don’t eat animals.