Welcome to “Consider Yourself Informed,” a new weekly blog column devoted to society’s most nagging questions—and their answers. This week’s question:

“WHO, EXACTLY, IS HANNAH MONTANA?”

You’ve been hearing a lot about her lately in the news—primarily that ticket prices to her concerts have shot up to the $700 + range. But what is her deal, anyway? As a TV columnist I get this question put to me at least three times a week, and so I’ve put together the following factoid sheet (with video evidence, of course). Now, the next time someone asks you at a party, “What’s up with Hannah Montana, anyway?” You can… CONSIDER YOURSELF INFORMED.

This is “Hannah Montana,” real name Miley Cyrus. Her dad is former C&W one-hit wonder Billy Ray “Achey-Breaky Heart” Cyrus. Hannah Montana is a show on the Disney channel, starring Miley and her real dad… playing her TV dad. Miley’s character is Miley Stewart who leads a double life as famous pop singer Hannah Montana, while also secretly pretending to be an anonymous normal girl in Malibu, California. (What? They don’t have access to TV or the internet in Malibu?). Anyway, Miley’s double life leads to a weekly series of big-time misadventures, as well as garden variety hormonal problems experienced by teenagers of every icky stripe.
For reasons known only to the pubescent set, Hannah Montana is WILDLY popular, eclipsed only by the teenybopper juggernaut known as High School Musical (which I can also attempt to explain, if there is enough interest). Anyway, “Hannah” currently has four CDs out, as well as a handful of DVDs and videogames. And as mentioned previously, her concerts are being instantly sold out, with prices skyrocketing into the hundreds.

SO WHAT’S HER SHOW LIKE?

Glad you asked. Hannah Montana is a fascinating blend of community theater artistry, classic slapstick, and teenagers screaming at each other as if they were all students at Malibu’s High School for the Deaf. Here’s a clip. Hannah is the one with the (brrrrr) teeth.

Actually, I can kind of see the attraction, from a meth-y perspective. That’s Hannah Montana. CONSIDER YOURSELF INFORMED!!