You’ve got to be kidding me! Yesterday, the Topoff wrap-up screeched to a halt right before Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff’s arrival at the DoubleTree Hotel, when a bomb-sniffing dog went wild at one of the cars in the parking lot.

Portland gives birth control to middle schoolers! Oh yeah, that’s the other Portland, the one in Maine.

This morning Thai police arrested suspected Canadian pedophile after worldwide manhunt. How did they find this guy? He had posted about 200 incriminating photos on the Internet. Real smart.

Britney Spears has gone berserk! Again! This time, her lunacy was aimed at a mob of photographers. Allegedly, she ran over one guy’s foot and then sped off.

US border guards say they were just following protocol when they confiscated the hard drive of Chris Walla, guitarist of Death Cab for Cutie. But then again, could it have had anything to do with the anti-Bush songs on that hard drive?