Portland Mercury


« The Apocalypse Doesn't Have WiFi | Main | Tonight: Be An Extra for Danava »

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Misc I Hate You Princess Cruise Lines

Posted by Ezra Caraeff on Tue, Oct 16 at 11:30 AM


My step-grandfather died four years ago.

He lived a full life of traveling, union activism, heavy drinking and introducing the term “any port in a storm” into my vocabulary. He, like other senior citizens, also liked to take cruises.

Well, one of those cruise lines (Princess Cruises to be exact), still likes to send him mail, which I get for some reason. So after four years of constant junkmail for a deceased member of my family, I thought it was about time to contact Princess and let them know that their intended customer will not be taking a cruise anytime soon.

I did that this morning and they said they’d be happy to remove him from their mailing list, if I faxed over a copy of his death certificate.

And yes, they were serious.
Let me get this straight, to stop getting weekly catalogs/letters/postcards about the sweet $1199 Alaska cruise deal, I have to prove to this monolithic corporation that my grandfather is not faking his own death to get off their mailing list? Is this normal? Was I out of line to completely lose my shit while on the phone with them?

I hate you Princess Cruise Lines, I hope your ships sink. All of them.


Jesus fucking Christ. Do they have a PR person available to explain this bizarre and unfeeling strategy to concerned members of the press?

jesus, what a fucking joke. that's really bad. Give them hell!

Not out of line to get angry at all. Unfortunately I'm sure the person you spoke with on the phone is probably in Bangladesh, makes $2 an hour and has nothing to do with their strong arm policies.

The father of a friend of mine wants to take the whole family on a cruise. My friends wife would rather chew her own leg off than go on said cruise. Can't blame her. Spending two weeks with old folks constantly afraid you'll get Legionaries disease or miss the boat in some port of call or other. I could probably get into shuffleboard though.

You can write "refused" on any unopened, unsolicited junk mail and it will be returned to the sender at no cost to you.
Sometimes that prompts horrible companies to take your name/address off the list.

Damn, though, that's some really bad customer service. Isn't there a company prez or CEO to complain to? they oughta be ashamed if their response to you was a standard policy. Yipes.

To get off mailing lists, I usually just tell companies I'm someone else, and that the real me moved away. Perhaps you'll only have to fax over the deed to your house that way.

Beth Roberts
Vice President Investor Relations
Carnival Place
3655 N.W. 87 Avenue
Miami, Florida 33178-2428
Main Telephone: 305-599-2600
IR Department: 305-406-5539

File a prohibitory order against sender with the USPS. http://www.usps.com/forms/_pdf/ps1500.pdf - if they persist in mailing you after it goes active (which takes 30 days) it becomes a felony. Be sure to check box "c".

That USPS prohibitory order is defined as being against a "mailer whose advertising
offers to sell matter you consider erotically arousing or sexually provocative." So...I guess you're going to have to make a case that Princess Cruise Lines' advertising gets you horny, which is kind of a weird way to go about getting off their mailing list.

Hell, put it to your advantage. Dig him up, put him in a wheel chair and send him on the cruise. Tell them he can't communicate well and that he will need somebody to push him around on the deck of the boat. He can get a great tan and then see what happens when they try to get him to pay up... Hmm. I bet they will give him a free covert burial at sea.......

Comments Closed

In order to combat spam, we are no longer accepting comments on this post (or any post more than 45 days old).

Blogtown End Hits: The Merc's Music Blog MOD: Merc on Design 2008: Merc Election Coverage Mercury Eat and Drink Guide  

Our Friends

Our Enemies