I’m sitting on a ratty couch in Reed’s student union, here to check out a fundraiser for Charles Lewis’ city council campaign.

I almost couldn’t find it—this is my first time on Reed’s campus, and the student union’s buried in the middle. Rushing to the building, running late, I wondered how many kids would bother to trek to SE and track down the same space, for a political fundraiser.

It turns out, a hell of a lot of them. The student union space—the size of a small gymnasium—is packed with teenagers (and a handful of adults and smaller kids) all clustered around four open circles, like spectators around circus rings. In the back of the room, a DJ’s keeping up a consistent beat.

But these kids aren’t here for Charles Lewis, even if some of them (those over 18, at least) donated $5 and their signature to his bid for public financing (alternatively, they could drop $7 toward Ethos, the non-profit music program Lewis founded; Reedies paid $3).

Nope—they’re here for the dancing. It’s freakin’ impressive. Dancers take turns dropping into the open circles, execute a handful of fluid moves, and sidle back out so someone else can have a turn. The rest of us watch in awe.

Sponsored in part by those behind the Pizzazz! 2007 champs Moon Patrol, this is apparently a seventh annual event—and they picked Ethos and Lewis to benefit this year, he told me on Thursday night (responding to an earlier blog comment here that he was using Ethos for his campaign’s gain, an accusation he firmly denies).

I’m off to find Lewis—who collected roughly 55 signatures at the door tonight, toward the 1000 he needs—and see if he’ll bust a few moves.

Unknown Country Singer Has Amazing Voice - Watch more free videos

So long, Scott. You’re a bastard for leaving but we’ll miss you, regardless:SCOTT MOORE: HE’S DEAD TO ME, NOW…

I’ll say it right now… I intend on getting laid this weekend. What’s that? You’d like to get laid, too? Then get into the appropriate mood by taking the wise advice of R&B superstar JOHNNY GILL in his classic video, “Rub You the Right Way.”
“Magic hands” never felt so good! (And I love it when he looks at me with that lazy eye!)

A confession before I begin: I have never seen the comedy stylings of Hoskins & Breen, but their local reputation as the funniest duo since Hi & Lois precedes them. My former colleague, Justin Sanders, who spent more time watching Portland stages than almost anyone I know, dropped me an email just to give me a heads up on how talented these guys are. And then our trusted theater critic Alison Hallett, who’s not in the office today, also sent an email saying we should give them a good plug on our blog. So here we are. “I fully vouch for their hilariousness,” she says. So while I can’t personally vouch for these guys, Mercury theater critics past and present can’t stop emailing me about them. Here they are at Portland’s Best of the Best Sketch Fest:

So why am I telling you all this? Because they’re doing a show tonight at the Mission Theater (1624 NW Glisan, 9 pm, $15) as part of Mercy Corp’s fantastic “Voices for Silent Disasters” concert series.

The OLCC’s considering a policy that could open up the all ages music scene in Portland, by loosening up the rules on allowing minors into places that serve alcohol. Cool, right? We’re all for it—and hosted our last Debate Club about it. (And, perhaps you’ve seen Cary Clarke’s awesome columns about it, like this one.)

The OLCC had a hearing on it a few weeks ago—but there’s a hearing at city hall on the policy on Monday afternoon. It’s a holiday! You’ve got nothing better to do than get your butt down there and demand that the OLCC do their part to foster Portland’s all ages music scene.

4 pm, City Hall, 1221 SW 4th

More:

Action Alert - Multnomah Youth Commission Hosting OLCC Testimony on Proposed Rule Change

The Oregon Liquor Control Commission (OLCC) is currently accepting public testimony on a proposed change to the Minor Posting rule (OAR 845-006-0340). The rule change would allow music and entertainment venues to submit control plans which would allow minors on premises while alcohol is served. The control plan must detail how venues would prevent minors from having increased access to alcohol and limit their exposure to a “drinking environment.” If the control plan were approved by the OLCC venues could allow patrons under 21 into their establishment while alcohol was being served.

The Multnomah Youth Commission is hosting a public forum to accept testimony from the public on this rule change. Anyone is able to provide testimony but people under the age of 21 will be given priority.

The forum will be held on Monday, November 12th from 4-5:30pm (Veteran’s Day) at Portland City Hall in Council Chambers. Portland City Hall is located at 1221 SW Fourth Avenue.

If you are unable to attend, public comment can be sent directly to Jennifer Huntsman, the OLCC presiding officer at jennifer.huntsman@state.or.us. Public testimony is due by Tuesday, November 13th at 5pm.

Annoyingly, the Laurelhurst theater decided to change their movie times for this week… after we’d gone to press. (Thanks for NOTHING, Laurelhurst!) It’s too bad, too, because now those who only read the paper version of the Mercury will have NO IDEA that the truly excellent Bubba Ho-Tep has been added to the L-Hurst’s schedule. It’s a classic film about good, evil, the sad state of Texan retirement homes, and how Elvis and JFK survived into old age… only to have to fight a fucking evil Egyptian soul-sucking monster. Obviously, it’s well worth checking out on the big screen. Trailer below, and updated movie times, as always, on Found It!

Ever wonder what Fox’s 24 would’ve looked like if they only had technology from 1994? Me neither. But these guys wondered… and the results are hilarious!

UPDATE, 2:10pm: Robert King returned the Mercury’s voicemail. “What I said yesterday,” King says, “was that Leo has never been involved in a shooting while he’s been on the SERT (Special Emergency Response Team) team. Leo’s been on the team for 8 years and has never been involved in a shooting. But somehow that got changed to ‘he’s never been involved in a shooting.’” King says he’s talked to Tom Hallman—the Oregonian reporter involved, and that Hallman has agreed to print a clarification or correction as soon as possible.

ORIGINAL POST, 12:36pm:Police Union Boss Robert King may have misrepresented the shooting history of Officer Leo Besner—the cop involved in the 2005 shooting of Ray Gwerder, which was settled by the city yesterday for $500,000—to Portland’s paper of record, the Oregonian.

There’s an article in today’s Oregonian about Gwerder’s shooting by Besner in 2005. In an interview with the Oregonian’s reporter Tom Hallman, King is quoted as saying:

“He’s demonstrated restraint and professionalism…He’d never been involved in a shooting before, and shot because he believed it was necessary to defend life.”

However, Dan Handelman of Portland Copwatch cites an Associated Press article from August 19, 1999, saying:

“At first, police say they were unsure whether Richard Lynn Smith was killed by an officer or whether he killed himself. Officer Leo Besner was involved in the shooting and has been placed on paid administrative leave, a routine step taken as police continue their investigation.”

It’s King’s job to defend officers from public criticism in incidents like this, but to outright misrepresent an officer’s history to the paper of record is not consistent with the Robert King I have encountered as a reporter, in the past. I can only assume it was a mistake. Handelman says he has faxed a copy of the AP article, (a scan of the Nexis version of which, you can view here, and a word document of the text you can Download here) to the Police Association.

“I feel it’s disturbing, at the least, that Robert King either doesn’t know, or misrepresented Besner’s history to the Oregonian,” says Handelman. “And that the Oregonian did not check him on it. I also think it would be a lot easier for reporters and the public to know these officers’ histories if the Independent Police Review would publish the names of the officers and the shooting victims in the PARC reports on police shootings and deaths.” [The IPR currently keeps those names secret].KING: Left, at city council in October 2006…

King is yet to return a voicemail asking for clarification of his comments. Let’s hope the Oregonian prints a retraction/correction directly, showing how seriously they take the error they have made.

Previous complaints against Besner have included tasering a man who was attempting to restrain a woman who had been threatening people with a knife in 2002; pepper-spraying an anti-war protestor standing on a sidewalk with a sign in March 2003; and slamming a 15-year-old, who had been standing on the sidewalk reading a newspaper, into a wall in April 2003. Besner’s 13-year tenure on the Portland Police is known to have already left city taxpayers with settlement tabs totaling about $1 million for the cases in which he has been involved.

“Until the community feels like individual officers who engage in this type of abuse will be held accountable for their actions,” said Alejandro Queral of the Northwest Constitutional Rights Center in a statement yesterday, “lawsuits like these will continue to plague the police bureau and cost the city millions of dollars.”

Queral is calling on Rosie Sizer and Tom Potter to “fully and impartially evaluate the fitness of Officer Besner to continue serving our community as a sworn officer,” because “there appears to be a significant pattern of abuse by Officer Besner that cannot be overlooked.” Meanwhile, the city has drafted this emergency ordinance, which will be voted on without discussion next Wednesday, November 14:
HISTORY: Written by the victors…

The new horror/thriller P2 screened to late for us to review, but it can be boiled down to this: Poor Wes Bentley.

YouTube user “ChainerX,” when you proposed making a fan video for Waterworld, people laughed.

Once they stopped laughing, you told them that you were going to splice footage from the film with music from a hard rock band called “Dope.” They looked at you for a second, and then they laughed harder.

But they were wrong, “ChainerX.” So wrong.

I give you a billion thumbs up.

And therefore, the greatest tattoo ever?

Yesterday, Congress finally showed a little backbone and overrode Bush’s veto of a water bill that would help prevent floods and re-build the Gulf Coast. This is the first time Congress has shot down one of Bush’s veto.

The City will pay a $500,000 settlement for a police shooting if City Council approves the amount next week. This is the largest settlement ever paid in Portland for a police shooting.

Last night the Senate voted for Michael Mukasey to be the new U.S. Attorney General. Ron Wyden and most other democrats voted against Mukasey.

Oil prices approaching record price of $100 a barrel, ushering in new energy crisis.

An East Indian girl born with eight limbs has survived a dangerous limb-removal surgery. Some villagers are disappointed she no longer resembles the Indian goddess Lakshmi.

Larry Norton on the Oregonian’s Old Town blog says the cracksplosion down there, following the expiry of the drug free zones (DFZs) at the end of September, is over with.

Amy and I ran a fantastic story on October 25 about how the Portland Business Alliance had been urging people to call 911, as opposed to a rent-a-cop, since June—explaining an explosion in calls for service since then, just as easily as a burgeoning crack trade might.

For the last two weeks, central precinct’s street crimes unit has been stationing a mobile precinct unit IN Old Town—literally parking it right on the corners where the crack dealers like to hang out. I ran into my would-be-cousin Sergeant Chris Davis down there last week and he was pretty pleased with the results. “Like cockroaches running for the shadows,” I think he might have said.

It’s good to see the cops have managed to find an equally effective tool for controlling downtown livability as the DFZs, that doesn’t impinge so much on people’s rights. We’re still waiting for the city to vote on the police bureau’s new scheme to replace the DFZs, but at least the likes of Larry Norton have stopped freaking out.

Guess what I did yesterday.

From: Devonna Dick [mailto:__]
Sent: Tuesday, October 30, 2007 2:28 PM
Subject: East Precinct Foot Patrol

Dear members:

I was thinking of having a foot patrol next Wednesday November 7th at
1:00PM at East Precinct for all those interested. Since the
prostitution free zone law is no longer in effect officers have reported
a noticeable increase in prostitutes working 82nd ave. I haven’t picked
the exact location yet but I was planning on patrolling 82nd ave for a
few hours.

Call me if you have any questions or just show up!

Officer Devonna Dick
East Precinct Crime Analyst

…so it was that I spent an hour yesterday afternoon in the company of some other civic-minded folks, and Officer Dick, walking up and down NE 82nd in a luminous yellow bib, looking for streetwalking prostitutes. I’m not going to write any more about the experience—I’m saving up for a more in-depth piece early next year (hint to bored local news-writers…there’s a new story, here…and a new way to tell it…oh, you’re not interested…)—but suffice to say it got me wondering what on earth prompts a man to drive out there at 2pm on a Thursday and pick one of these ladies up.

Do you know any “johns?” Are you one? Get in touch anonymously from a webmail address and tell me what drove you to do it, how often, and what it’s like. I can’t say I’m not going to judge you, but I need insight into your behavior. And how else am I going to get it?

This morning, city council candidate Chris Smith planted himself on the Hawthorne Bridge—a major bike commuter artery—to unveil his “Bicycle Policy for Portland.”

Smith, an alternative-transportation advocate and wonk for years (he runs portlandtransport.com), is endorsed by cyclist heavyhitters like Scott Bricker, executive director of the BTA, bike attorney Mark Ginsberg, and Mia Birk, former director of the city’s bike program. It’s clear why: Smith’s bike policy says right at the top that he’s a huge cycling supporter.

Cycling and walking are the most energy efficient, environmentally sustainable, cost effective and healthy modes of transportation. As a City Commissioner I will ensure that Portland’s policies and practices make us a world-class cycling city.

Research indicates that many more Portlanders would cycle if they had access to safe and convenient low‐traffic routes to take them to work, school and daily activities. Let’s make this happen together!

But Smith’s ideas for making Portland a world-class bike city don’t strike me as earth shattering or all that original—rather, they’re basics that the city’s already working on (funding for more bike boulevards), ideas Commissioner Sam Adams has recently put forward (bike boxes and intersection improvements), or things the bike community’s been working on for ages (clarifying cyclists’ rights at the legislature).

Indeed, there’s only one item on this list that I haven’t heard others outside the cycling community promoting that’s “enforcement targeted specifically at safety problems,” rather than at cyclists who treat stop signs as yields in low-traffic Ladd’s Circle.

Funding Serving on Metro’s Transportation Policy Alternatives Committee for three years, I successfully advocated for funding key cycling projects, including missing pieces of the Springwater Corridor. As a member of the Executive Committee for the Safe, Sound and Green Streets initiative, I helped craft the proposal that will fund 110 new miles of bicycle boulevards in Portland. As Commissioner I will work to fund bicycle infrastructure and programs at a level that matches their value to our city.

Safety
Cyclists are safer every year in Portland, but tragic crashes remind us that we need to do much more. Under my leadership we will implement:
• Low‐traffic family‐friendly bicycle and pedestrian routes
• Bike boxes and other intersection treatments
• Enforcement targeted specifically at safety problems
• Education and awareness programs for all roadway users
I also want to improve laws at the State Legislature to clarify the rights of cyclists and pedestrians and make our streets work better for all users.

The Big Picture
Making Portland a great cycling city is about more than bicycles. Livable, compact, walkable, bike‐friendly neighborhoods also depend on land use choices and improved transit service. As Commissioner, I’ll put my years of experience on City and regional advisory committees to work so that our choices reinforce each other and create a city that not only earns Platinum Bicycle status but also addresses the twin challenges of Global Warming and Peak Oil. The result will be a healthier, happier and more prosperous community for all of us.

I’m glad that, if elected, Smith is committed to shepherding these things through and being an elected advocate for cyclists. But I wonder if he has some innovative ideas of his own?

Clean this desk:

And I’ve only got a day and a half to do it. Suggestions?

Update: Here’s what it looks like now:

p.s. Guess what I found at the bottom of the pile—the 2006/2007 day planner I bought to organize my life. There weren’t any entries.

Welcome to Breaking The Law—the new blogumn (because “columns” are so 2006) wherein I come across a lawsuit I feel you’d benefit from knowing a little about, but can’t be bothered to poke too far into it, so I stick it on here “for your interest” and forget about it forever. To clarify, this does not mean Ask A Brit is dead, although please, no more questions about the origin of the word ‘limey’…
BREAKING THE LAW: Because I miss Scott’s Judas Priest clips…

First up, age discrimination. Here’s something you wouldn’t want to say in the workplace: “It was time for us old farts to turn things over to the young blood.” Why? Because that’s Breaking the Law, baby. Age discrimination is grounds for getting sued!

Before we go any further, it’s time to remind you I’m writing about pending litigation that’s not yet been decided in court. So we’re talking about allegations. Not facts. Now: Debbie Smith of Virginia-based, Oregon-operating corporation Northrop Grumman is alleged to have said the words above to 61-year-old web developer Alan Westhaver in September 2005, 10 months before firing him. Poor chap was only 4 years from retirement but boy, was he expensive.

Westhaver is now suing for lost wages of $5401.07 per month from July 2006 through to April 2008, and an award of lost fringe benefits of up to $1.5m. He also wants non-economic damages of $500,000, his job back, and attorney fees.

According to the discrimination suit filed by Westhaver on Monday, November 5, Smith reviewed Westhaver’s performance as a web developer on February 23, 2006, and gave him an assessment of “exceeding” her expectations. Then, three months later, she put him on a 60-day performance improvement plan “due to…unsatisfactory performance.” Westhaver submitted a detailed rebuttal to the statements made by Smith about his alleged unsatisfactory performance but received no reply, he alleges.

On July 3, 2006, Westhaver submitted a complaint to the corporation’s workforce relations department saying he believed he was being discriminated against because of his age. He was fired 14 days later, on July 17, 2006, for the stated reason, “Reduction-In-Force (RIF).” On July 23, 2006, Northrop Grumman ran an ad in the Oregonian for a web developer, and in August 2006, “a significantly younger female” was hired for the position—the lawsuit alleges.

All these allegations, if true, could give Westhaver 8 claims for relief: Discrimination in violation of the age discrimination in employment act; Retaliation in violation of the age discrimination in employment act; Age and/or sex discrimination in violation of ORS 659A.030; Retaliation in violation of ORS 659A.030; Discrimination in violation of title VII (hiring); Wrongful Discharge; Failure to promote unter Title VII and ORS 659A.030; Intentional infliction of emotional distress.

The moral of the story? WHAT WAS HIS BOSS THINKING?!! Apart from, perhaps…if the allegations are proven…BREAKING THE LAW…BREAKING THE LAW…BREAKING THE LAW…

More next week.

John R. Bolton, former US Representative to the UN, has a reputation as a world-renowned jack ass, so I couldn’t resist the opportunity to hear him at last night’s Tom McCall Forum, an annual political debate. Bolton was debating with former Congressman Lee H. Hamilton, who served on the Select Committee to Investigate Covert Arms Transactions with Iran.

I lived in Europe for a year, so I have a strong sense of the characteristics that are unique to an “American”—and hey, not all of them are bad. In reasonable quantities. But Bolton was like an American times ten with a strong dose of nasty.

Let’s put it this way, his opening remarks included the statement, “Diplomacy is not the objective.” I physically cringed picturing him at a UN meeting.

When one of the panelists posed a question about Blackwater, Bolton’s curtly replied, “I think this controversy is politicized and over blown,” which elicited boos from the audience.

When Hamilton took the stage, I wondered if the tall, elderly man would be much of a match for Bolton. But soon it was clear that, not only was Hamilton much more popular with the audience, his opinions reflected a pragmatic approach to foreign policy based on a respect for the rest of the world.

In his opening remarks he said, “We are the world’s most powerful nation, but America’s ability to accomplish things abroad has never been so limited.”

In comparison, Bolton stuck to a simplistic, hard-line approach that focused completely on preemptively striking “rogue” nations before they could create nuclear weapons. It seemed like, as far as he was concerned, it was still 2001.

In the end, it was clear who was the better diplomat. Hamilton closed with the remark that in the future he hoped America “will not savage those who do not agree with us.”

-Jennifer Furniss

Devin the Dude at play.

We hear the Devin and Del tour has been plagued by smoky, late-night debates about what it’s cooler to be: a dude or a homosapien, and whether the two can ever coexist peacefully. (Meanwhile, their publicists battle over the relative merits of using “the” vs. “tha.”) Tonight, Devin and Del play the Roseland Theater (8 NW 6th), the site of many a fierce dude vs. homosapien struggle.

As I’ve established many times in this paper, I’ve a big fan of Devin’s hilarious rhymes about weed and women, but I’ve never seen him live because hiphop shows (I can’t speak to those of the backpacker variety) are usually frustrating, ridiculous messes with 12 guys you’ve never heard of holding microphones, barking over the artist you paid to see. But a review of a recent Devin show by one of my favorite music writers, the Village Voice’s Tom Briehan, has me particularly excited for tonight’s show:

But then, finally, blessedly: Devin. Or, rather, Devin’s backup crew, who still effortlessly obliterated everyone who’d been onstage before them… The Coughee Brothaz are a bunch of seriously hungry Southern rappers who can all seriously rap and who include Jugg Mugg and blind rapper Rob Quest, the other two members of the Odd Squad, Devin’s pre-solo-career group. The various Coughee Brothaz took turns doing solo tracks, switching between warm, organic Texas funk and buzzing synthed-out Southern club-rap, all the while hyping Devin’s impending arrival. But when Devin did slide onstage, he did so almost unnoticed. Devin’s stage presence is as cool and unobtrusive as his voice, but when he gets going he’s a joy to watch. Last night, he smoked vast quantities of weed, hit Stevie Wonder high-notes on his choruses, and did the thing where he makes his voice sound like a DJ scratching, which he’s really good at… Last night, he had something like seven guys behind him, but all those guys knew that they were there in a supporting capacity, and none of them got in the way. A whole lot of work obviously went into this tour, and the Coughee Brothaz have a seamless and rehearsed show, something you don’t see too often.

Get a Devin fix on the Dude’s MySpace (or peep his Brothaz here), or if you come down on the other side of tha Funkee debate, this Homosapien has a MySpace as well.

On the serious: this weekend Stand Up Comedy (in the 811 E Burnside complex) is having a SALE: 15% off all weekend long. Definitely check it out.

On the goofy: the sale is to “make room for the beats” of rapper Ice Rod, performing at the store on Sunday, 8 pm. He’s also playing at the Small A Gallery tonight, and at the Twilight tomorrow, in case you need a triple dose of songs like “Smear Your Crotch on the Xerox.” In the meantime, here’s a live video clip to tide you over: This song is called “Menstrual House”, and it reminds me very much of a house I used to live in. Maybe you lived in one too.

Find more crucial lifestyle information over on M.O.D.

The City of Portland has agreed to a record $500,000 settlement over an officer involved shooting, according to attorneys working for the dead man, Ray Gwerder’s, family.

On November 4, 2005, Raymond Gwerder, 30, was “drunk and despondent,” holding a handgun in the backyard of a friend’s house where he had been staying on NE 118th, when a police officer trained in crisis intervention managed to get through to his cell phone. As Gwerder was talking with the negotiator, and about to go inside the house, he was fatally shot in the back without warning by police sniper Leo Besner.

This is the highest settlement the city has ever made in an officer involved shooting, behind $600,000 paid to the family of Damon Lowery in 2005 following his alleged asphyxiation by 6 full cans of pepper spray and a 180lb officer standing on him for more than two minutes in 1999, and $845,000 paid to a collective of protesters in 2004 following officers’ excessive force at anti-Bush protests in the city in 2002 and 2003.

The settlement now needs to pass through city council for a vote next week before being finalized.

Before he died, Gwerder, 30, was completing his final courses at PSU to earn a bachelor’s Degree in Biology. From civil rights attorney Tom Steenson’s office:

“Ray was this wonderful, sensitive, brilliant man, who was just experiencing a moment in his life where he really needed some help,” Molly Aleshire, a long time friend and roommate, says. “Ray had the kind of solid integrity where you could always trust him to do the right thing, no matter what. He was one of the most insightful, and intuitive people I’ve ever known.”

Evidence from the scene of the tragedy exposed an extremely flawed police operation. Besner claimed his fatal shot at Gwerder was justified by danger to Gwerder’s neighbors, yet the police failed to evacuate nearby neighbors over the 90-minute period prior to the shooting. In addition, when Besner shot him in the back, Gwerder was in mid-conversation with the police negotiator and was calmly complying with the negotiator’s requests.

Several minutes after Gwerder was shot, a police officer at a post 100 feet away from him heard him crying out in pain, but Portland Police failed to provide him with critically needed medical attention. Files also show that police left Gwerder lying on the ground dying for 20 minutes. Although they tasered him – despite the fact that he was not moving and the gun he had possessed was in plain sight, away from his body – the police did not allow paramedics to treat Gwerder prior to his death.

More from Steenson’s office:

Gwerder’s family and friends say the most disturbing aspect of the case remains the fact that officer Besner continues to work as a Portland police officer. They point out that evidence shows Besner fired the fatal shot within minutes of his arrival and without first consulting with the lead police negotiator or the police commander at the scene. The commander on the scene that day, East Precinct Cmdr. Mike Crebs, told investigators that when Besner shot Gwerder, “’The shot just came outta nowhere … . I thought we were talking to the guy.’”

Previous complaints against Besner have included tasering a man who was attempting to restrain a woman who had been threatening people with a knife in 2002; pepper-spraying an anti-war protestor standing on a sidewalk with a sign in March 2003; and slamming a 15-year-old, who had been standing on the sidewalk reading a newspaper, into a wall in April 2003. Besner’s 13-year tenure on the Portland Police is known to have already left city taxpayers with settlement tabs totaling about $1 million for the cases in which he has been involved.

“While we are relieved that Portland has agreed to settle the case, there is no end to our loss,” said Bobbie Jo Clark, Ray’s sister. “We remain gravely concerned that after so many complaints about Besner and my brother’s death at his hands, Besner still not only roams the streets of Portland, but with a badge, an arsenal and apparently the unending support of his department. The continued employment of Besner by the City of Portland led to the wrongful death of my brother. We can only hope and pray that no other person will suffer the loss of a loved one in the future due to the City’s failure to terminate officer Besner.”

Besner was commended as recently as March by Central Precinct Commander Mike Reese, for taking a gun from a hostile crowd after the March 18th peace march turned ugly. Besner was working mounted patrol at the time.

Police Public Information Officer Brian Schmautz says he cannot comment on litigation matters.

The mayor’s office declined comment and referred the Mercury to Linda Meng in its office of risk management. Meng was out of the office. We were told “the other person you could talk to is also out.” Deputy City Attorney David Woboril, to whom we were eventually referred, had a full voicemail box.

While it must be hard for Mayor Tom Potter to stay silent in this case with blood on his hands, it’s ultimately a financial consideration: Talking honestly would cost the city money. And true leadership, it seems, would, too.

UPDATE 1:17pm: Dan Handelman of Portland Copwatch says: “Officer Besner seems to have a propensity towards violence and he probably should not be a police officer anymore given the history of all the things we have seen here.

“Your blog post doesn’t mention Besner was involved in at least two shooting incidents in 1999. One was where a guy apparently committed suicide, Richard Lynn Smith in August 18 1999, and the other was somebody whose name was July 21 1999, Brown, but we don’t know any details about that case, unfortunately. The IPR only gave us a list of the last names of the suspects and the last names of the cops being investigated for the PARC report, but that is all we know.

“Those shootings were a few weeks apart,” says Handelman. “To me, it says Besner finds it easier to resolve situations with violence than to try to use non-violent means. And the fact Gwerder was shot while a hostage negotiator was talking to him is very disturbing.”

“In August 20 of this year, Lesley Stewart was shot at in SE Portland while on the phone to a hostage negotiator. We wrote a letter to the District Attorney after he declined a grand jury hearing, urging him to have one, but it didn’t happen, I think because the DA didn’t feel the public pressure to hold one.”

“We don’t know whether Besner is going to be fired. The police should rely less on deadly force—after all, they train these snipers to kill people.”

Regular viewers of late-night television will immediately notice the disappearance of their favorite shows, but television dramas and comedies, whose scripts are written well in advance, will continue to appear as programmed for weeks if not months to come. Movies, which often take two years to produce, will arrive in the multiplex as scheduled for at least the next year.

So says the Los Angeles Times. If the situation doesn’t get resolved by then, things are gonna get iffy.

The Writer’s Guild of America strike is still raging, shutting down more than a few TV shows and film projects in L.A. and elsewhere. If film and TV nerds look hard enough, coverage on the strike has been available online, sure—but considering what a big deal the strike is, not only for Hollywood but for entertainment as a whole, it’s still kind of weird that it hasn’t been mentioned that much by TV channels or movie studios. (Hmm. Wonder why that is.)

For the complete lowdown on the strike and why it’s important, I can think of no better sources to go to than the writers themselves, from Knocked Up’s Judd Apatow to Buffy’s Joss Whedon to Lost’s Brian K. Vaughan. Plenty more info is available in that Los Angeles Times story linked above, or here.

Alex Prud’homme is Julia Child’s grandnephew, and together they wrote the incredibly charming My Life in France, which tells the story of Julia arriving in France as a boisterous, awkward American girl, falling in love with the French approach to food, learning to cook, writing Mastering the Art of French Cooking… It’s a really great little memoir and it will make you wish Julia Child was your best friend (instead of um, dead).

On a related note, Judith Jones’ memoir, The Tenth Muse, gets a write up in the Book Review this week. Jones was yet another American girl to make good in Paris, who, as a young editorial assistant, famously persuaded her boss to recommend the publication of Anne Frank’s diary. Similarly, Jones saw the potential in Child’s book, pushing for its publication at Knopf even after several other houses had rejected it. She went on to edit cookbooks from James Beard, Marion Cunningham, Madhur Jaffrey, and more.

Alex Prud’homme, 7:30 pm, City o’ Books on Burnside

• Speaker Nancy Pelosi says the House could vote as early as tomorrow on a new agreement that would bring troops home. That means Bush could veto it as early as Monday.

• When Barack Obama stepped off the plane in Iowa, there wasn’t a car waiting for him. Why? The plane landed at the wrong airport. Ka-BOINNNGG!

• O.J. Simpson returns to court today to face 12 charges which does not include murdering his wife.

• So who does Borat think should be our next President? From Reuters…

Q: Who do you favor for President in the United States?

Borat: “I cannot believe that it possible a woman can become Premier of US and A - in Kazakhstan, we say that to give a woman power, is like to give a monkey a gun - very dangerous. We do not give monkeys guns any more in Kazakhstan ever since the Astana Zoo massacre of 2003 when Torkin the orang-utan shoot 17 schoolchildrens. I personal would like the basketball player, Barak Obamas to be Premier.”

On today’s episode of Easier Than Reading, special guest host Ned the Intern fills in for regular host Ezra Ace Caraeff. Ned plays tunes from acts playing around town this week, including Manchester Orchestra (pictured above), Devin the Dude, Fog, and more. Click here to listen.

So movie studios send me free stuff sometimes. Sometimes it’s cool. Sometimes its not. The past week or two, however, has been really weird in terms of free swag. And by “been really weird” I mean “consisted of a whole bunch of useless crap.” First there was this:

Can’t tell what that is? No, of course you can’t, because it makes no sense. It’s a Beowulf blanket, because apparently nothing says “Olde English literarie epic adapted as a CG action movie” like “polyester fur.” As my buddy James pointed out, this thing would be way more badass if it had a hood, and therefore served as a cloak. He’d have a good point, provided I wasn’t living in Portland in 2007 and was instead living in a fucking castle in the Dark Ages. As is, it just looks like something some Klingon cos-play fiend would wear to a World of Warcraft pizza party. “Quaplah, guild brothers! Hands off of the Double-Stuff Oreos, and who’s up for Wii Sports?”

Here we have… a… it’s a big… punching bag?… with a… panda on it? Apparently this is for Kung Fu Panda, a movie in which Jack Black voices a (you guessed it!) panda who does kung fu! (Here’s hoping it’s as brilliant as Beverly Hills Ninja, a film even Chris Farley [RIP] was so embarrassed by that it made him really go live in a van down by the river for six months as an act of self-flagellation. [Don’t feel too bad, he had like 8 pounds of coke with him the whole time, and David Spade brought him plenty of milkshakes and french fries; the six months went by super-quick.]) Anyway, you’ll note that that this goddamn thing is uninflated. This is because I will not blow anything that is any way reminiscent of or connected to Jack Black.

And now comes the thing that pretty much ruined my day when I got it in the mail this a.m.

What the fuck is that, you ask? Good question. It’s a box full of shredded money and a padlock (?), all to promote some movie called Mad Money. This morning when I woke up, I didn’t know that Mad Money even existed, and now I do, and it’s kind of the worst feeling ever. Oh, if only I could go back to this morning when this movie didn’t even exist for me. FUCK. Anyway, now I know all sorts of things about it, thanks to the postcard that it came with:

So there’s Queen Latifah, Diane Keaton, and Katie Holmes, otherwise known as THE THREE LEAST LIKEABLE ACTRESSES EVER. Apparently this is a movie about them being rich, which should be a real treat, since all of them are, in real life, unspeakably rich, especially Katie Holmes, who was once cute in Wonder Boys, and is now a dead-eyed zombie who is not allowed to speak and always follows exactly five paces behind her batshit-crazy husband, who also forces her to watch Battlefield Earth, in its entirety, every night promptly at 8 pm. I can guarantee you that the following was said by some studio exec in the godforsaken greenlight meeting for Mad Money: “Okay, so we’ll cast that Queen broad for the ‘urban’ women, and that dried-up old WASP who hasn’t been in anything good since Manhattan—all those lonely old women whose children don’t call them anymore can’t get enough of her—and sure, the fuck not, get Tom’s wife in there too. She damn near ruined that Batman movie, so no one else will cast her, so we’ll get her for cheap. I think we’ve got a winner on our hands, boys! Now, how to promote it… hmmm. I know! We’ll give out padlocks! Yeah! Why the fuck not!”

In a bizarre twist, Willamette Week managed to scoop us on a story about ourselves—specifically, me:

Portland Mercury reporter Scott Moore is moving on. The hirsute cyclist starts next Tuesday as the new spokesman for Secretary of State Bill Bradbury.

Who knew they’d care enough about me to carve out four lines in their paper? At any rate, I’m happy they mentioned it, though I’d rather the news have come from us first (check my column when it hits the streets this afternoon/tomorrow morning).

Normally, I wouldn’t do something so entitled as to make a big deal out of my departure, but, hell, I’m going to take the opportunity to talk about my proudest/fondest moments of the past two years. Those are after the jump, to spare those of you who don’t have a stomach for my nostalgia.

In a nutshell, though, I’m immensely proud of the work that we’ve done at the Mercury since my colleague Amy Ruiz and I came on board. I think we caught the city—especially the skeptics—off guard from day one with our dogged persistence and attention to stories and details that were being ignored by other outlets. And though there are still Portlanders who believe that the Mercury is dedicated solely to hipster rumor-mongering, I know for a fact that we created one of the most principled news rooms around, with a hard-to-match dedication to increasing civic engagement. Knowing that the section will still be in the hands of the talented Mrs. Ruiz makes my transition easier.

(And, in case you’re wondering, no, the Mercury will not get preferential treatment from me when I’m on the other side of their phone calls.)

Now, on with the clip show!

These are a handful of my favorite memories from the past two years--in no particular order. I won't bore you with the journalistic nitty-gritty details, but with the more "extracurricular" perks of working for the Mercury:

1. Covering Election Night Parties: Probably no surprise, but I've always enjoyed being in the midst of the political buzz (you can read "buzz" in any number of ways) that surrounds Election Night parties. I've got a particular fondness for the memory of the May 2006 primary, riding my bike in a convoy led by sheriff candidate Paul van Orden from Erik Sten's party at the northwest Lucky Lab to a pick-up party at Acme.

2. The Portland Mercury Civic Clean-Up Crew: It started as a joke, but then snowballed into one of the strangest, most exhilarating displays of civic engagement I've ever seen--and don't let anyone tell you it was a "vigilante mob." A hundred or so Portland residents took to the streets along the Rose Parade route removing the duct tape eyesores left by entitled would-be parade watchers. "Whose sidewalks? Our sidewalks!" echoed through my head for a week afterward. We made a lot of friends with the TV news folks that night.

3. Building A Case For Ending The Drug Free Zones--And Winning: Criticism of the DFZs--based on constitutional due process flaws and apparent racism in their enforcement--had been going on for years before I showed up. But our dogged coverage of the policy and the failed process around renewing it, and our continuing analysis of the exclusion numbers forced the mayor's office to (finally) have an independent third party analyze the figures from a reluctant police bureau. And guess what: The report showed that we had been right all along, and the mayor had no choice but to kill the DFZs and come up with a more effective and more fair anti-drug policy.

4. Following Petition Circulators Who Were Paying Homeless People Per Signature: On a July afternoon, we got a tip from someone saying that homeless men and women were being paid per signature--in violation of state law--for gathering signatures on a handful of campaigns. We spent the next two days following some of the alleged offenders around downtown, observing the exchanges for ourselves.

5. Best Of 3 am: For our Best Of issue in 2006, Matt Davis and I wandered the streets of northwest looking for trouble--and by trouble, I mean the "best of 3 am." I stuck my arm in a pond full of algae trying to catch very small fish, and we scouted out the best place to hunt for rats in Waterfront Park (hint: everywhere in Waterfront Park). It was ludicrous, and probably a tad dangerous, but a great way to spend a cool summer evening.

6. Biking Through Downtown With Tom Miller And Scott Bricker: In order to find the city's most dangerous intersections for cyclists, I enlisted the help of Sam Adams' chief of staff, Tom Miller, and BTA director Scott Bricker. I don't get a number of opportunities to ride in a group, and this was with two of the most important bike leaders in the city. Their expertise opened my eyes to dangers that I didn't know existed, but that are familiar to people who ride those routes. Also, it was pretty damn fun.

7. Rant At The City Club: "Do you want to sit on stage at the Governor Hotel and deliver a rant, and then argue with Victoria Taft and Jack Ohman?" they asked. "Would I ever!" I responded. At the event, I spent a few minutes chastising Portland for being too damn nice, and then debating any number of things with Taft. The video was still running on cable access every once in a while as of a couple months ago--I know because I heard more than a few instances of "Hey, I was flipping through the channels the other night and, man, your face showed up on the TV. Weird." Indeed.

8. Partnering With The Bus Project: Considering that our missions are identical--encouraging more civic engagement--our partnership with the Bus Project on forums and Debate Club was an obvious fit. Taking politics off of the page and into the community has been great. Plus, I got to meet all the folks at the Bus, who've become good friends.

9. The Mercury All-Star Band: It's no secret that Mercury Editor Wm. Steven Humphrey is a born showman, so it was an honor sharing the stage with him as part of the paper's all-star band. Our first performance was covering the oeuvre of '70s glam pop band Sweet for the paper's seventh anniversary; the latest was covering Avril Lavigne's "Girlfriend" at Pizzazz. So, you can probably kinda get what the band's about. FUN.

10. A Date With The Women Of Willamette Week: Every year, the paper auctions off a date with The Men of the Mercury, and the winner of the 2005 auction was, ironically enough, The Women of Willamette Week. We dropped a bunch of quarters at Ground Kontrol, ate some Voodoo Donuts, and had a helluva time. It was a nice example of the fact that even though we work at rival papers, we're all just human beings. Rodney King would have been proud.

11. Getting Called By Billy Mitchell: After previewing the film King of Kong with film editor Erik Henriksen, I wrote a blog post titled "I HATE BILLY MITCHELL," ranting about what a total jerk the villain of the documentary is. A few mornings later, I arrived at work to two--TWO!--voicemails from Billy, the first asking me to call him back so we could chat, and the second one making sure I hadn't tried calling while his phone was off. I called him back a couple days later and had a surprisingly pleasant conversation with him. Contrary to how he comes off in the film, on the phone he seemed to be about as normal as can be--his main concerns were with running his hot sauce business and getting his kids to and from school on time.

12. KATU’s Blogger Meetup: For some reason, despite us being neighbors, KATU neglected to invite us to their "blogger meetup." After a lot of crying on our part, they corrected, and decided to invite us after all. Sure, every blogger in the city was half convinced that KATU was trying to gather us in on place in order to kill us, but it actually turned out to be a shockingly fun time. I got to meet Steve Dunn (who's totally my BFF now), drank a ton of free wine, pretended to blow my brains out at the KATU news desk, and guilt tripped a certain someone who works for a conservative radio station. Plus, I got to meet my favorite Portland bloggers--in real life!

13. Crashing Progressive Happy Hours: Once a month, there's this little get together called Progressive Happy Hour, where political staffers and consultants get together to gab over drinks. Obviously, I knew I had to start crashing it in order to make connections with the people behind the people. Naively, I underestimated just how uncomfortable a bunch of people would get by having a journalist in the room (whoops!), but I didn't let it stop me. There's nothing like having a pleasant conversation with someone over drinks and hearing the words "this is off the record" before every sentence. Good times.

If you like your music catchy as hell, cute as a goddamn basket of kittens, and with plenty of jumping around, then check out your favorite new band and mine, BOYSTYLISH—a J-pop girl quartet that has more energy and fun than a chimpanzee on meth. Need proof? Here’s the new video for their single, “Boys Be Stylish.” (WARNING: If you have dental problems, beware… these gals are so sweet they’ll knock your teeth out.)

Look what’s back: Zubaz! (In your FACE!) Not seen since the early ’90s, this fall marks the return of the pants first made popular by weightlifters and overweight sports fans. I’d actually love it if someone, as a styling challenge, made these look sexy. If anyone has the balls to “dare to be different”, by all means send me the results.

After last week’s racist tirade (in which he called his son’s girlfriend the “n-word”), a tearful Dog the Bounty Hunter appeared on Fox News’ Hannity and Colmes with the following excuse for his actions:

“I thought that I was cool enough in the black world to be able to use that word as a brother to a brother. I’m not,” Chapman told Fox News Channel’s “Hannity & Colmes.”

How did he come to such a startling realization? Perhaps he looked in the mirror.

Thanks to the NYP.

I’ll admit I was a little late to the Jens Lekman party—some of his lyrics still make me cringe a bit, and “he’s Swedish” is NO EXCUSE. But the man can write a pop hook like nobody’s business. Aaaaaand he’s kinda dreamy, and when my friend saw him in DC he gave her a hug! (This is the kind of coverage you get when the music editor goes out of town.) Mr. Lekman performs tonight at the Someday Lounge, 125 NW 5th, $12. Here he is with a swinging rendition of “The Opposite of Hallelujah”:

OH, SWEET JESUS IN HEAVEN! Gossip does NOT get much better than this! According to In Touch magazine, the planets mysteriously aligned, and George Clooney and romance cover model Fabio got into a shoving match over dinner in West Hollywood! Here are the deets:

It wasn’t a dinner theater performance when George Clooney got into a fight with romance novel coverboy Fabio during dinner at Madeo in West Hollywood on November 2. Fabio and a group of women, including a professional photographer, were sitting at a table next to George and his girlfriend, Sarah Larson. Everything was fine between the two heartthrobs until the photographer started shooting — and that’s when trouble erupted. According to numerous eyewitnesses, George suspected the woman was snapping photos of him and Sarah, so he asked her to stop. Fabio got up and went over to George’s table — not to apologize, but to explain that the photos weren’t of George. “I thought you were a nice guy,” Fabio, 48, said to George, 46. “Stop being a diva.” Those were apparently fighting words, because George stood up and the two started arguing until George went to push Fabio! “The waiters broke it up before it got out of hand,” the eyewitness reveals. Fabio’s manager tells In Touch that the star doesn’t want to comment except to say, “George is lucky he didn’t end up in the ER.”

HAW!! Normally, I’m on George Clooney’s side in all things… but Fabio got off the best zinger! SO WHAT SAY YOU? If those idiot waiters hadn’t broken up the spat, who would’ve won in a fight… GEORGE OR FABIO?

A pleasant surprise as I was reading the New York Times on the exercise bike just now, seeing local journalist and Los Angeles transplant Nancy Rommelman quoted on Page 5 of the “Dining In” section:

“…he’ll never work in this town again.”

She is referring not to me, sadly, but to Portland’s food enfant terrible, Michael Hebberoy, who basically fucked Portland’s food world financially in the early noughties before fleeing for Mexico, the rumor at the time went, “with a suitcase full of cash…” (Hebb denies it, and it’s not true, of course).
MICHAEL HEBBEROY: ANAGRAM OF “RABBI LEECH HOMEY”…

Hebberoy has just surfaced back in Seattle, where he hosted a 40 person dinner this week celebrating Gertrude Stein’s cook-buddy Alice B.Toklas. I wish the man would come back here: the guy apparently told Portland “you can believe in yourself.” It’s no wonder we rejected him!

By way of further coincidence I ran into the Mercury’s former managing editor Phil Busse as I was leaving 24-hour fitness. We agreed it was Hebberoy’s “ego that did for him,” in the end. Although I suspect the man could give a shit what we think of him, these days. And well played, sir.

It’s time for that sweet democracy hangover: Measure 49 passed 61 percent to 39 percent, but Measure 50 went down by a massive margin. Officially, this means that Matt Davis has to admit that my predictions were right and his were wrong.

Who would Jesus endorse? Televangelist Pat Robertson is throwing his support behind Rudy Giuliani, which may seem odd, given that they disagree on every issue that matters to conservative Christians. On Monday, Moral Majority co-founder Paul Weyrich announced that he was backing Mitt Romney. While it may look like religious conservatives are splitting because they can’t find a candidate to rally around, this could actually mean that they’ve changed their standards enough that they’ll all get behind whoever the GOP nominee is. Meaning, don’t go looking for a third party spoiler next year.

Speaking of lowered standards! The Senate Judiciary Committee has approved the nomination of Michael Mukasey to attorney general, despite the fact that he couldn’t make up his mind about whether water boarding is torture. Call me naive, but isn’t that a distinction—whether yes or no—that one might expect an attorney general nominee to formulate in his or her mind?

Will Rosie O’Donnell join her fellow America-hating liberals at MSNBC?

A girl in India who was born with four arms and four legs underwent a successful surgery to “remove what amounted to Lakshmi Tatma’s headless identical twin sister.”

Oh, you thought Britney Spears’ new album was No. 1? You thought wrong. She got trounced by, ha ha, The Eagles, who’ve been awarded the top slot on the music charts. Your dad’s favorite rock supergroup sold 711,000 copies of their reunion album—available only through Wal-Mart stores—while Spears sold 290,000 of her newest “effort.”

A teen-age gunman killed at least eight people in Finland.

Finally, in commemoration of Mukasey’s near-certain approval as attorney general, here’s Keith Olbermann doing the intellectual work that Mukasey refuses to do:

My favorite part of the election evening: Seeing supporters of both Measure 49 and Measure 50 light up smokes long after the results were (un)officially called. Hey, look, even if M50 didn’t pass, you all earned a smooth, refreshing drag from a full-flavored tobacco product.

Second favorite part of the evening: Seeing scantily clad Kennedy School guests enter and leave the “Soaking Pool,” which happened to be next to the gym where the Yes on 49 party was happening. That includes dude who waltzed in wearing swim trunks, and left wearing only a small towel.

Third favorite part (actually, my first favorite) was the armchair quarterbacking that began as soon as the election results started pouring in. Everyone agreed that the M49 campaign was a resounding success—it’s hard not to, given its massive win at the ballot. But many people agreed that the M50 campaign was lacking, especially in the door-to-door canvassing department.

M49, the argument goes, had spent months building grassroots support, by tapping rural Oregonians and visiting voters door to door. Plus, proponents had the benefit of leaning on supporters, like 1,000 Friends of Oregon, who’d previously worked to try to defeat Measures 7 and 37. The pro-land-use efforts had built up a community, even if it hadn’t had much success in the past few years.

It’s more difficult to create and sustain a political community over a tobacco tax, however. Interestingly, the only Get Out The Vote canvassers who came to my door were for Measure 50. They came at least twice.

But here’s what’s interesting: Measure 50 was originally proposed as a ballot measure in 2006—in fact, it was one of then-Republican Ben Westlund’s proposals at the Bus Project’s Rebooting Democracy confab in January of last year. (It was on the list of his “Policy-Palooza of Progressive Initiatives”.) Had it gone forward as a ballot initiative, it would have had months of a public campaign during the signature gathering period, and had solid support from the grassroots and the elected officials who were backing it. Alas, that idea, along with all of the progressive ballot measures in 2006, took a back seat to a liberal campaign of getting Dems elected to the legislature and fighting back conservative ballot measures.

Obviously, it’s now time to start rethinking the approach to children’s health care. I propose a tax on fast food and/or soda—the health effects are (arguably) as bad as smoking, but at least children can be considered consumers of the products that will fund their health coverage.

Pardon us in advance, for we are drunk in covering these election results. Scott Moore is at the Yes on 49 campaign at the Kennedy School, Unpaid Intern Jenny Furniss is spearheading the Yes on 50 campaign at the Benson Hotel, and I’m at the office, smoking (for the children!) and reporting on the results.

Speaking of the results! We have our first batch of number from Multnomah County, and the results are good:

Measure 49, in Multnomah County, is killing, almost 76% to 22% (who the hell is doing the math on this shit? That’s not anywhere near 100%).

And measure 50—the measure on which I’m smoking for the chillins—is currently winning in our own county, 57% to 43%.

A caveat: Multnomah County is not representative of the state, and these numbers are bound to change dramatically as more voters’—more voters from outside of liberal Multnomah County—ballots are counted.

Stay tuned—Scott and Jenny will call in shortly with the scene from the Yes campaigns….

And here they are!

“The gym here at the Kennedy is absolutely packed, and I was just in the Yes on 49 mosh pit,” says Scott Moore. “I had to squeeze my way to the front to see the results, and it was like I was 15 and seeing the Ramones, and I had to elbow my way past a bunch of middle aged punk rockers to see the front, but tonight I had to edge my way past a bunch of middle aged environmentalists to see the results.”

There’s a beer line and a snack line, Scott says, both of which are virtually impossible to get through. People are clearly excited about the results, but the current returns are Multnomah county, so it’s anyone’s game.

For some bizarre reason, the Secretary of State’s office isn’t posting statewide results in a findable location (wtf?)—we’re working on it—but KGW is reporting that “In early returns, Measure 49 on Property Rights was leading with 67 percent voting yes to 33 percent voting no, with 33 percent of precincts counted. The Measure 50 Tobacco Tax was trailing, with 53 percent voting no and 47 percent yes, with 33 percent of precincts counted.”

Measure 50—it appears that Multnomah County is the only area that Measure 50 is passing in, says Scott, but it’s incredibly unclear if Multnomah County’s lead is enough to carry the measure statewide.

“It seems like statewide, Measure 50 is losing, but the crowd is upbeat,” reports Jenny from the Benson Hotel, where she’s noshing on roast vegetables, and sandwich hors d’oeuvres.

OregonLive, which clearly has more resources than we do to tablulate the various counties, is reporting that Measure 49 is winning (yay!) and Measure 50 is losing (why am I smoking?): “Measure 49, which scales back land development, is passing, 64.5 percent to 35.5 percent, in partial returns. But Measure 50, which would raise tobacco taxes to pay for children’s health care and other programs, is losing, 57.7 percent to 42.3 percent.”

Jenny just called in from the Benson Hotel, where Governor Ted Kulongoski took the mic shortly before 9 pm to give a concession speech. “We lost the battle, but we will win that war,” was the theme of his talk.

“We’re going to win this in the long run, this is the first round, I believe that all Oregonians believe that children are entitled to health care,” Kulongoski said.

The governor spoke about the amazing amount “each vote cost the tobacco industry,”—$22 per vote, last I saw—”a large investment for a few number of votes.”

Kulongoski, of course, invoked the children: “There’s a sense that Oregon doesn’t want to take care of children,” he said, but even though Measure 50 is losing, “That doesn’t mean Oregonians’ don’t want health care for kids.” Jenny’s tracking down folks with the Measure 50 campaign, to find out what Plan B is for funding kids’ health care.

The general sentiment, she says, is that “this is just the first round, we will regroup, we wil find a way to provide health care fot the children of this state.” In the meantime, Measure 50 supporters are partying like it’s a high school reunion without the music—and with kids hanging out in the Benson Hotel ballroom.

More from Kulongoski: “The tobacco industrsy won this battle, but they will not win the war. We’re fighting for the future of the children of this state. Join with me to find a solution to find health care for every child in this state.” Can’t wait to hear what that solution is, Ted.

Across the ballroom Jenny reports that there are plenty of Measure 50 supporters who are “annoyed that the governor threw in the towel, that the governor already gave a concession speech.” Others are still feigning excitement—and acting like they’re in denial that Measure 50 is going down—chatting each other up, hugging, and smiling in a room topped with a dozen chandeliers. There’s an open bar, and people are taking advantage of free wine and beer, plus crudites and French cheese. “Nothing amazing,” Jenny reports.

And, of course, there are kids running around the Measure 50 party.

The 8:48 Multnomah Country results are in: 49’s winning locally by 77 to 22 (Matt Davis, you owe me $5), and 50’s winning locally by 56 to 43.

10 pm update: The spread on both Measures is similar, roughly 60 to 40 on each, with M49 winning and M50 losing. Gov. Kulongoski has made the rounds, vowing that the fight for statewide children’s healthcare isn’t over at the M50 party, and congratulating the M49 party. And with that, we’re going to call it a night.

If the steady stream of last-minute ballot drop-offers continues through the end of the commuting hour, voter turnout could end up being much better than many have predicted.

I was just down at the Multnomah County Elections office, observing all the procrastinating slackers dropping off their ballots. (Also, I was dropping off ballots for my slacker coworkers. And mine.)

There was a steady stream of cars lining up along SE 11th and SE Belmont where drive-by drop boxes are set up. It paled in comparison to the even-year election scramble, but wasn’t the ghost town I was pessimistically expecting.

Any bets on turnout for Multnomah County?

I know I got a little vexed about it when I heard Brooks Brothers was moving in on SW Morrison, but having been into the newly opened store on my way to the library earlier today, I’ve changed my mind.
BROOKS BROTHERS: HOLY FUCKING SHIT…

Brooks Brothers is the future. Portland’s future. Your future. You just may not know it yet. Imagine, loser. Shaving that beard, ditching those tattered jeans. Not just you, Scott Moore, but all of Portland’s vegan cyclists. The prospect is overwhelming…
BROOKS BROTHERS: MANLIER THAN A SCROTUM BUFFED WITH TEAK POLISH…

On a recent trip to Seattle, I was struck by how many more winners there were walking the streets. Especially in the proximity of the Brooks Brothers. Let’s hope the store’s arrival here heralds a new dawn for our city. A new era of winning, and victory. And success. And triumph. And ass-kicking accomplishment. And reaching. And getting. And doing it all. Dressed. Like. This.
BROOKS BROTHERS: JUST DO ME IN THAT THING, RIGHT NOW…

BROOKS BROTHERS: PRICED FOR WINNERS…

I’ll see you in there soon—NB: I particularly like the cuff-choosing section. Mine’s a wide.

Citing the shorter days and foul weather to come, Sam Adams has ordered the intersection of N. Interstate and Greeley—specifically, the right turn onto Greeley from southbound Interstate—closed. It took crews about, oh, 15 seconds to make it happen.

Before:

After:

The move is meant to eliminate the right hook crashes that have injured one cyclist (or more) and killed another at that intersection in recent weeks. It’s only a temporary solution, meant to keep cyclists safe while the city’s traffic engineer figures out a permanent solution. Significantly, keeping the intersection closed is one of the possible long-term alternatives.

Drivers traveling southbound on Interstate who wish to head west on Greeley will have to continue on to Russell, make a right, and then a little turn around, and then a left turn back onto Interstate. Then, they can make a left on Greeley. Of course, that could create a traffic nightmare all on its own, which the traffic engineers will hopefully be looking at.

“This is the first time in my tenure as the commissioner in charge of transportation that I’ve closed an intersection due to safety concerns,” Adams said.

For now, the closure consists of two barricades, some traffic cones, and several signs that warn motorists that right turns are no longer allowed.

Drop off your ballot! 8 pm is the deadline!

Multnomah County is at 47 percent turnout, as of 12:30 pm. Our elections director says we’re on target to hit 52 percent—but you need to turn in your ballot! Check out the map, courtesy of the Bus Project, for drop off locations…

And tune into Blogtown tonight, starting at 8 pm, for election results and notes from the campaign parties for Measures 49 and 50. If you care to join either party—I can’t tell you yet if the mood will be celebratory or gloomy—you can find the Yes on 49 folks at the Kennedy School, and the Yes on 50 camp at the Benson Hotel.

Offhand, it’s hard to think of anybody who influenced art in the ’90s more than Vegas-via-Texas writer Dave Hickey, a one-time country songwriter whose plus-sized frame, nicotine-stained fingers, and overcaffeinated musings on Richard Pryor, Caravaggio, Andy Warhol, and Robert Mitchum reinvigorated the art world and argued persuasively for the necessity of beauty of art. (Sounds ridiculous that anyone would have to argue persuasively for that, I know, but the final gasps of Postmodernism weren’t particularly glorious.) For a while, Hickey was everywhere—sticking up for Normal Rockwell in Vanity Fair, lecturing at every college and art center in the country, organizing shows of his favorite artists—and then he seemed to drop off the face of the earth. He started teaching English rather than art at UNLV, and suddenly years have passed without any major Dave Hickey sightings.

His retreat from the public eye may have been a brilliant move—five years ago, “Dave Hickey” were the two most overused words in the art world lexicon, but when I heard last week that the Believer was publishing a long interview with “Dave,” I couldn’t have been more excited. The interview doesn’t disappoint, and it’s not short on choice Hickey-isms:

“I do not want to be fair. I want the art I hate to go away. If you want your art to stay around, and I hate it, get your own fucking critic! So I am not in favor of art—I’m in favor of the art I like.”

“The MFA thing is an invention of the ’70s. Its raison d’être is evaporating.” [Believer: “Which is?”] Training sissies for teaching jobs.”

“I don’t think the government should touch art. Governments are risk averse. They encourage risk-averse personalities to be artists.”

“Please feel free to use whatever I’ve told you, as you wish. It’s not like I’m worried about my, uh, reputation.”

Damn, Dave. It’s good to have you back. I didn’t realize how much I missed you. Please write a new book soon.

For those of you who have uttered the words, “I wish fashion models would just die, Die, DIE!”, well, here’s the next best thing. According to Yahoo News, next week Target will host the first fashion show populated solely with holographic models.

U.S. discount retailer Target Corp, known for its innovative marketing, is staging a “model-less” fashion show in Manhattan next week that will feature holograms strutting down a runway in its merchandise instead of size-zero models.

The images, which will appear to be three-dimensional, will show clothes by designers like Isaac Mizrahi and Liz Lange sashaying across a virtual runway.

“This is the first time a fashion show will be completely produced with hologram technology, without models, without a runway and easily accessible to all fashion fans,” Target senior vice president Trish Adams said in a statement.

Wait… if there’s no further need for models, how is Kate Moss going to afford her blow?
“Help me, Yves Saint Laurent, you’re my only hope!”

Need more fashion fun? Hit up MOD—the Mercury Fashion Blog!

In this week’s feature on the city’s most dangerous intersections for bikes, here’s what I wrote about the intersection of N. Interstate and Greeley:

The intersection where Brett Jarolimek was killed has been known to be dangerous for years, but it took his death to get something done. Sam Adams and the transportation department are considering a number of options to increase safety—including a bike box and a “cyclist approaching” sign that will be triggered by a sensor in the bike lane at the top of the hill. Still, the combination of a speedy downhill and numerous right-turning large trucks will keep the intersection dangerous. Another, more radical solution: closing off the right turn entirely, eliminating the chance for deadly right hooks.

I just got word that, in the wake of yet another crash there this morning, the city traffic engineer has decided to close off the right turn off of Interstate onto Greeley at least for the time being. A city crew will be out there shortly to do the work—if they’re not there already—and a press conference is scheduled for around 2:30.

In her post below, Amy asked for a rationalization that Measure 50 is “a tax on the poor,” wondering what it is about poor people, according to that argument, that makes them less able to quit smoking than higher income people.

Reader Chris Woo (an OHSU employee—and campaign volunteer for city council candidate Chris Smith) gave the answer that I’ve always heard, that access to health care largely determines one’s ability to quit once addicted:

The consensus from my colleagues in tobacco cessation research is that, as a whole, it is harder for lower income individuals to quit than those with higher incomes. It’s not because of any difference in physiology or intelligence, rather it is has more to do with things like access to health insurance, class and workplace differentiations, cultural image and differences in coping resources for stress, etc.

Let’s not forget that we’re talking about an addiction — rational economic, cost/benefit decisions don’t always apply. Studies show that increased tobacco taxes do help prevent potential smokers from ever starting, but they are largely ineffective at getting current smokers to quit.

As a hopefully-soon-to-be-former smoker, I can confirm that access to medicines, cessation aids, and disapproving doctors is vital to quitting. Have any of you ever tried quitting on your own? It’s damn near impossible, and it’s easy to see why those who don’t have health care, and are under the stress of possibly multiple jobs with paltry paychecks might have more difficulty quitting.

That said, I paid $8.10 for a pack of Camel Lights this weekend in Chicago. I can personally guarantee that that cost alone would make me quit—even if I didn’t have insurance. Maybe the problem with Measure 50 is that the tax isn’t high enough.

In which I attempt to address the concerns of a reader regarding our recent Readers Fight Back! food issue; specifically, regarding a reader review which referred to the New Old Lompac’s pool table:

Really?

Trick question. Don’t answer it.

Did anyone do a stitch of research before you went to print?

Did we do what now?

The New Old Lompoc has not had a pool table in SIX years. You just ran
with Zooey’s comment.

Yes.

Whose job was it?

Mine!

Your issue made my life hell. I am SO sick of answering the phone in
the middle of the dinner rush. People getting annoyed at me because we
DO NOT have free pool.

Oh.

I love your paper. I read it every damn week.

Hooray!

But, REALLY! I absolutely hate you right now.

Oh.

DO YOUR F’IN research….

Yes ma’am.

Thanks…slackasses.

You’re welcome?

Post your own ill-informed opinions about pool tables and more on FoundIt!

My phone’s ringing off the hook this morning: The Latino Network called a morning press conference to urge the city council to forget about additional process on the Interstate rename, and to vote on the issue. City Commissioner Erik Sten, meanwhile, has abandoned the idea of more process—he hasn’t been able to get the mayor or the César E. Chávez on board with additional process, so he doesn’t think more process will achieve anything. When the rename comes up for a vote on the 15th, he’s probably going to vote for it, though he does feel like he’s being asked to vote on a false choice. “I think that there’s going to be lasting damage to this vote, and what that damage is, I don’t know.”

Word’s already getting around Interstate that the rename is essentially done. Bill Mildenberger Jr. of the Nite Hawk Café & Lounge on Interstate just called—the rename is “a done deal” as far as he’s heard, and he’s angry. “We’re overwhelming against the name change, but we support honoring the guy,” he says, bewildered that there’s not a way to bridge that gap. “We feel just fleeced. I’m walking around like a zombie today. They aren’t listening to what we said, in overwhelming numbers?”

Meanwhile, this morning at the Kaiser Town Hall building on Interstate, a diverse group of a dozen local leaders from groups like the local chapter of the NAACP, the Albina Ministerial Alliance, the Native American Youth and Family Center, and the Slavic Coalition of Oregon convened to urge the city council to vote on the proposal to rename Interstate Avenue for César E. Chávez.

Most of the speeches, like those from former Multnomah County Commissioner Serena Cruz, were passionate, making the case that renaming the street for Chávez is a civil rights and justice issue. Others pointed out that the city council gave the Chávez rename committee a process to follow, and “we followed the rules. [Then] they changed the game, and the rules,” said Leroy Haynes Jr, Vice-President of the Albina Ministerial Alliance.

Cruz, leaning on her years of political experience, spoke more about process: “Process. In Portland, ‘we need more process’ is code for ‘we’re still uncomfortable,’” she said. She argued that this rename isn’t like siting a new condo project, where more process might yield a better product. The rename, she said, is “a statement about civil rights.” She outlined the process that has occurred—from a neighborhood association meeting in the same building as this press conference, to a set of public hearings, and a city council meeting. “Now, after all of that discussion, it’s time for our city council to make a tough decision. It’s time for our next mayor to make a tough decision.” More process wouldn’t mean “the decision gets easier.”

Other speakers, like Haynes, echoed Cruz’ thoughts on the the rename being synonymous with civil rights. “This symbol says to all of America that the City of Portland belongs to all cultural groups, and not just white men.”

Commissioners Randy Leonard and Sam Adams—the pair that have led the “additional process” charge—bore the brunt of the speakers’ ire. “2008 is around the corner, and we are watching,” warned Charlene McGee, the new head of the local NAACP chapter. Though several of the speakers dismissed the idea that a 5-0 vote to rename the street was key—noting that past civil rights measures around the country had never garnered a unanimous vote—there was also pressure for Commissioners Leonard and Adams to vote for the rename, since they “gave their word” early on that they supported the idea. Cruz, in particular, said she wouldn’t be supporting Adams’ mayor bid if he didn’t follow through and vote to rename Interstate.

But the press conference may have been moot—as of this weekend, City Commissioner Erik Sten had decided that a possible Blue Ribbon Panel to analyze the issue wouldn’t work without the mayor and the Chávez committee’s support, and he was unable to get them on board. Sten was the possible third vote on forcing additional process; Now, that looks unlikely, setting the stage for an up-or-down rename vote on November 15.

“I’ve been attempting for three weeks or so to try and at least mediate some process,” Sten says. “[But] there’s no way to mediate the process, particularly if the mayor won’t take part. I don’t think the Blue Ribbon Panel could be successful in this environment.”

“It’s really now about win-lose, and it’s the council’s job to mediate that, and the mayor’s saying no way,” he says. “I want to be honest in saying that if the mayor plays this the way he’s playing it, then you’d have to be nuts to serve on that Blue Ribbon committee.”

Calling the situation a “train wreck,” Sten says November 15 will be “a needlessly ugly vote on something that should be a celebration.” That said, he’ll likely support the rename.

“I think I’m voting on a false choice, a choice that’s been created by politics and not the real world of possiblity. The choice is really going to be, which aggrieved party do you stand with?” And after the vote, Sten will “keep talking to people” in an attempt to mend the rift. “I don’t think this is going to heal as easily as [Potter] thinks.”

EDIT @ 4 pm: Leonard’s office has moved their vote on the “more process” proposal to the 15th, the same day the actual rename is up. “It just makes sense to do it all at the same time,” says Leonard’s chief of staff, Ty Kovatch.

Jonathan Maus at BikePortland.org has the story: Another cyclist was hit on N. Interstate at Greeley this morning, at the same exact spot where Brett Jarolimek was killed.

According to witnesses, the cyclist—thankfully—didn’t sustain any life-threatening injuries, but she was taken away in an ambulance. From their on-scene reports, it sounds as if this was another case of the dangerous “right hook,” where a car makes a right turn and cuts off a bike traveling in the bike lane.

Photos from the scene taken by Adina Eggen

A private security guard in Gresham is arrested for committing a string of burglaries. Yes, reader, it’s called “thorough backgrounding” at the police bureau, for a reason.

It ain’t easy being a pimp—especially at the airport! Check out this video of a knock down drag out fight between Snoop Dogg and Heathrow security. It starts out, oh, so innocently with Snoop entertaining some kids—and then, as so often is the case at the airport—tempers begin to flare. Snoop and entourage are kicked out of a first class lounge, he rips the asshole out of his tiny honky manager, and then all poop breaks loose when security beats down and detains Snoop and crew.
Unfortunately, this happens to me every time I fly.

As campaigning for and against Measure 50 has ramped up in the past few days, I’m hearing the same refrain over and over from those in the no camp—Measure 50 is a tax on the poor.

That argument doesn’t make much sense to me. If Measure 50 is a tax on the poor, that’s saying that poor people are more likely to smoke. I’ve seen the stats on that, and I’m not going to argue.

Smoking, however, is a choice, and you can choose to no longer smoke (it’s hard, I know, but you can—especially if the new tax puts smoking out of your budget). But are we arguing that lower income people can’t quit as easily as higher income people? Is there something about poverty and addiction that’s physiologically intertwined? Do lower income folks lack the ability to quit, or just lack the desire? That’s the next logical step in the “Measure 50 is a tax on poor people” argument, but I don’t hear anyone making the case that poor folks are stuck smoking (and paying this tax) because their economic status makes it exceedingly difficult to stop smoking.

Care to make that case?

Because the news is best, with exclamation marks…

1.PAKISTAN!! This country continues to bankroll Pakistan to the tune of $9.6bn a year, while General Pervez Musharraf orders his cops to beat lawyers protesting his unconstitutional imposition of “emergency rule.” If you want to understand doublespeak, listen to George Bush talk about spreading “freedom and democracy” while signing the check. Likewise, Musharraf says he’s cracking down on his attorneys to “fight terrorism,” but diverting thousands of cops and military personnel to enforce his dictatorship will actually benefit Al Qaeda. Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere, as Dr.King said. Although the NYT is more succinct, describing the situation only as “a mess.”
PAKISTAN: Cops beat lawyers on Monday…

2.EDWARDS!! John Edwards said something nasty about Hillary Clinton in Iowa. Hang on, sorry. This is Good Morning News. Forget I mentioned it.

3.FORECLOSURES!! Rapist loan companies take the opportunity to double-fuck their downtrodden borrowers for even more cash by imposing “dubious charges” in the repossession process. Prison’s too good for ‘em, I say.

4.STRANGER THAN FICTION!! A woman jumps off a Tokyo department store to her death, landing on a passerby in the street. Haruki Murakami has NOT acquired the rights yet, surprisingly.

5.ISLAMATASTIC!! Saudi Arabia’s King Abdullah meets Pope Benedict XVI for the first time in the Vatican. The Pope raised “questions” with the King about restrictions on Christian worship in his country, before the pair moved on to an exciting new game: I Hate Gays More Than You. It’s like Paper, Scissors, Stone, except the only items are a “penis” (index finger outstretched) and “vagina” (index finger and thumb in a circle). The idea is for both players to try to come out heterosexual, relying on God’s will to guide your actions. But if there’s two willies, or God forbid, two vaginas on the count of three, cut off your fingers!

6.SPEARS!! She’s back at number one. Excited by the AP review of her album and all hopped up last night on Ruth Reichl’s lentil salad (Page 638, The Gourmet Cookbook), the wife and I downloaded it from iTunes. It is, in fact, shite—so much for popular culture.

Good day!!

CHASSE: Unanswered questions…

Back in September, the Mental Health Association of Portland presented Mayor Tom Potter with a list of unanswered questions about Jim Chasse’s death. Some highlights from that list, which you can read in full here:

Question
On reflection, do you believe the police department and Rosie Sizer in particular handled the Chasse case appropriately?

Question
Has the city fully and completely disclosed all documents and records regarding the Chasse case to the legal team heading the civil suit filed by the family?

Question
No officer has been indicted for excessive force by our current district attorney. How can it truly be possible no Portland police officer has used excessive force during the last decade?

Question
How can the City of Portland maintain a contract relationship with AMR after what happened to James Chasse? After 16 ribs broken, Taser shots, shoulder broken, punctured lungs, how could they send him to jail as if he were unharmed?

Question
In your opinion, would different officers have responded differently to James Chasse? Would James be alive today if Nice, Humphrey and Burton were not involved?

Question
What part of the CIT training imbues mercy and compassion to police officers? What part of CIT training teaches de-escalation and rapport building techniques to promote peaceful outcomes? If this is not part of CIT training, can there be another source that can incorporate these basic principles of crisis management into this curriculum?

Question
Would justice and public trust been better served in cases such as James Chasse’s with an independent investigation and an independent prosecutor?

Question
How can we explain the death of James Chasse to our children, and that the men who are responsible for his death were not held accountable?

Question
Please explain why other citizens should be held accountable when the district attorney’s office failed to hold the men responsible for James Chasse’s death accountable?

Question
Since when is looking odd a crime?

Today, Tom Potter replied, albeit 6 days after the deadline set by the Mental Health Association, with this letter, which you can download here. There’ll be more on it in this week’s paper. But to give you some idea in the meantime, Potter ended his letter by suggesting members of the Mental Health Association all go on a ride along with a police officer—which sounds like less of an answer than posing another question, to me.

I’m probably stating the obvious here, but lately some of Matt Davis’ comments to his own blog posts have bordered on the, um, bizarre.

Take, by way of example, the following:

Racist.

Posted by Matt Davis | November 5, 2007 2:37 PM

Racist.

Posted by Matt Davis | November 5, 2007 3:26 PM

Racist.

Posted by Matt Davis | November 5, 2007 3:27 PM

Racist.

Posted by Matt Davis | November 5, 2007 3:28 PM

Mate, I’ll be a street musician. And tap dance!

Posted by Matt Davis | November 1, 2007 5:51 PM

Mmmyessss….you mean I’m not really writing about this specific issue, but about the topic in general and its impact on social justice in Portland? Fuck me! I’ll make a point, yet!

Posted by Matt Davis | November 2, 2007 11:11 AM

I just hope the news section is the first part of the paper to lick ass.

Posted by Matt Davis | November 1, 2007 11:43 AM

Bob R. is a fucker. There! I nailed it! And professionally, too…

Now, guilty carnivore. Before I actually read your comment, could you fill me in on your credentials? Why should I bother paying attention to what you’ve just said? Where have you been published? And did you just describe something as a CANARD? Get an editor!

Posted by Matt Davis | October 31, 2007 3:11 PM

Question: Is professional sex superior to citizen sex?

Posted by Bob R. | October 31, 2007 4:33 PM

I’ll do either!

Posted by Matt Davis | October 31, 2007 4:36 PM

Yeah, fuck those videos of the first World Trade Center tower getting hit — that’s not REAL, PROFESSIONAL journalism! Same with all those cell phone pics and vids of the Madrid train bombings and the London Underground bombings. GET A JOB, PEOPLE! Oh yeah, and fuck all this shit, too. CNN would never put that amateur crap on the air.

Posted by James X. | October 31, 2007 5:35 PM

Yeah! Fuck it hard, James! Fuck it SO HARD!!!

Posted by Matt Davis | October 31, 2007 6:20 PM

What was that roooo? SHHHHHSHHSHSCHSHHSHSH

You’re breaking up! SHSHHHSHHHHHH

There’s no signal up here on my pedestal. SHSHSHHSHHHH

[CLICK]

Posted by Matt Davis | November 2, 2007 11:17 AM

Comments like these have led me to wonder if it’s really Matt Davis posting, or someone posing as Matt Davis. But if someone’s posing as Matt Davis, why isn’t the real Matt Davis protesting his mockery? My head is spinning!

So I asked him. The real Matt Davis wouldn’t comment on whether or not there are sock puppet Matt Davises. He would say this: “It’s great when you can sock puppet yourself and people aren’t quite sure whether or not you’re doing it.”

Well, I’m glad I got to the bottom of that.

When it comes to your sexual proclivities… I assume nothing. That’s why I would like you to watch the new Spice Girls video entitled “Headline”—in which these cougars cavort around in bras and dominatrix wear—and tell me which one of them you’d most likely “do.” For memory’s sake, their names: Baby, Scary, Posh, Sporty, Ginger. (Ginger is the redhead with the rocking abs, who is still weirdly scarier than “Scary.”)

A necessary part of the short film preluding The Darjeeling Limited, or the only thing worth showing up to the main feature for?

Erik started this discussion back in September, but now I’ve seen the movie, I suppose I can join in. I say Ms.Portman’s (NSFW) ass was unnecessary AND the only thing worth showing up for, but the people I went with were divided on the movie. What did you think?

Mark Millar’s Wanted is one of my favorite graphic novels—ruthlessly cynical, fantastically violent, and crammed with humor of the darkest, most puerile, and most scatological sort, the book giddily subverts every superhero cliché to fantastic effect. Reading Millar’s ending to Wanted is also one of the most memorable moments I’ve ever had reading anything, and the whole concept of the piece—it’s basically a sordid celebration of supervillainy, and a fairly mean-spirited criticism of modern life—is just a whole lot of fun.

From Timur Bekmambetov—the Russian dude who directed the so-so/batshit crazy Night Watch and Day Watch movies—comes the film adaptation of Wanted, which pretty much looks nothing like the comic. (For one thing, it looks like all the references to superheroes and villains—which’re kind of a key component in a comic book about, ah, superheroes and villains—have been axed.) I’m guessing the film’s going to end up being an enjoyable enough sort of generic action flick, but regardless of your reaction to this trailer, I’d recommend reading the comic. Then again, the book doesn’t have Angelina Jolie shooting guns.

Add this to the list of unique ways to gather $5 public-financing contributions: Charles Lewis will be at Reed this Saturday night, for a breakdancing competition to raise money for his city council bid. Moon Patrol—2007 Pizzazz! Champs—is sponsoring the competition.

Charles Lewis and supporters will be collecting $5 donations and signatures for Charles’ efforts to qualify for the Voter Owned Elections process. The fundraiser will also be used to register new voters for next year’s election. This event sells out every year (300+ attendees), so the public is advised to arrive early to ensure admittance.

Hmm… between this event, and Lewis’ earlier face-off with Steven Colbert, it’s pretty obvious which voter demographic this candidate is angling for.

Nobody beats the Japanese when it comes to the sport of “inventing.” However, no thanks to the language barrier, sometimes it’s tough to determine what they’re actually selling. Let’s take this infomercial for example: This much we know… the device is used by unattractive maids, and toothless guys in unitards. Certain parts of this device are washable, and makes hot girls in bikinis want to rub pens on their body. Bearing that in mind, let’s play…
WHAT ARE THEY SELLING??
My guess is “a stabbing machine.” What’s yours? Put your answer in the comments below.
(I’m not exactly sure why… but some of the visuals might be NSFW!)

Clinton had agreed to go on, too, but later withdrew, says the NYT. .

OBAMA: VOTE FOR HIM OR YOU’RE A RACIST…

Winston Churchill said he loved a man who grins while he’s fighting. With that in mind, last week I asked Commissioner Randy Leonard to clarify what he meant by this statement in the Oregonian:

“What I do not want to do is take a group of well-meaning citizens and throw them under the bus again. We’ve already done that once to the Chavez committee,” Leonard said. “What we need is not just five random thoughtful community leaders, but five folks who are recognized instantly for their contributions, have been through the political wars and are prepared for the job we’re asking them to do.”

I wondered out loud whether he might have meant “white people.” Because to me, “five random thoughtful community leaders” was referring to the original committee co-chaired by two Latinos. And what Commissioner Leonard wants is a more politically effective committee, with a lower proportion of Latinos on it.
TODAY’S OREGONIAN CARTOON: Nailed it…

That’s where things turned ugly. I specifically said in the post I was not accusing Commissioner Leonard of racism, merely asking for clarification, to which he responded in the comments:

Would that be like me asking you about your realationship with your wife, Matt, and then ending with

“Please don’t think I am accusing you of beating your wife, because I’m not.”

Well, la-de-dah! That’s an interesting question, Randy. Let me be clear: I enjoy an intellectual debate as much as the next man. But sometimes, I just like to fight. Although not with my wife, of course, because she’d leave me if I so much as threatened to hit her.

So. I called Commissioner Leonard to tell him “it’s on,” and to bring his boxing gloves, but he ended up changing my mind a little. He said “I think what has happened is that Tom Potter has empowered moderate people to believe there must be something to their most dark suspicions that Portlanders are racist—the term has been thrown around with reckless abandon to the point where the true racists have been empowered.”

I asked him what he thought of Maria Lisa Johnson’s letter to the community last week, and he responded by saying she “has gotten to the point, watching Tom Potter, where he’s sent a message that even the council having a thoughtful discussion of alternatives was, in his words, “disgusting to him.”” Hmm. Perhaps Johnson reached her conclusions on her own?

Potter, Leonard seems to think, has framed the discussion in a way that there are winners and losers, consensus has been ignored, and the debate is no longer about Cesar Chavez. Exactly! It’s about fighting! It’s about violence! I’m RELISHING IT. But there has to be a point at which we wonder whether fighting, for the sake of it, is really worthwhile. Or, as Leonard puts it, whether “this debate stopped being about Cesar Chavez a long time ago.”

You know, part of me would really like to see Interstate renamed. Part of me would really enjoy going up there and putting fake new street-signs on the “Interstate” ones, just to cause trouble. But I guess that’s because I hate consensus, and I hate resolutions…I like to fight.

Speaking of fights, Leonard seems determined to make this one about facing down Tom Potter. Asked how it’s going to end, he would only speculate, “I don’t think anybody is going to win or feel good.”

Welcome to Portland’s new democracy. Where you can take your polite consensus, and shove it right down your liberal democratic throat. Isn’t it just fantastic!?!

Yes, it’s Monday. Yes, you partied hard all weekend. Yes, you caught the Hold Steady every other time they’ve come through town, so you might sit this one out. Wait… This just in: Yes, you’re a big pussy who couldn’t rock a little girl’s birthday party with a fifth of Jim Beam and a fakebook of Grunge’s Heaviest Moments!

Tonight, the world’s best rock band (as evidenced by the double-neck Gibson SG), the Hold Steady, will spread their fervorous tales of chillout tents and drunken sunrises to a beer-sloshing audience at the Crystal. And on this go-round, they’re joined by their British brothers from another mother, Art Brut, whose entire sound is perfectly captured in their two album titles, Bang Bang Rock and Roll and It’s a Bit Complicated. The ‘Steady is obviously the bigger name on the bill (in Portland, anyway), but to show up just in time for Craig Finn & Co. would be to miss half of a serious double bill. And that’d be so un-rockish of you. [Vaguely ironic devil horn salute here.]

Here’s Art Brut doing their single “Direct Hit” at the Bowery Ballroom a few months ago:

Show’s at Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside, 9 pm tonight.

First Commissioners Randy Leonard, Sam Adams, and Erik Sten were going to tell the Chávez Boulevard Committee that they had three votes to re-do the process, Leonard said in early October. Then Sten jumped in, to say he wasn’t necessarily on board with a new process, but did want to find a middle ground, and a way to an eventual 5-0 vote.

On October 18, Commissioners Leonard and Adams filed a resolution to extend the process anyway, and Sten was the swing vote. At the council meeting on the resolution—the infamous meeting where Mayor Tom Potter walked out—Sten started leaning toward an extended process, pointing out that if the council voted to rename Interstate for Chávez on November 15 “it would be the first time we didn’t slow something down when it was a train wreck.”

Following Potter’s walkout, Leonard and Adams tabled their “more process” resolution until November 14, giving them more time to find something Sten could agree with. The latest idea was appointing a “blue ribbon” panel to explore a handful of streets, and determine which one is the best option to carry Chávez’ name.

But now, it looks like Sten’s swinging back toward renaming Interstate on the 15th, instead of going through more process. He met with the Chávez committee on Friday, and is now “talking about voting through Interstate,” according to sources at city hall.

Sten’s chief of staff, Jim Middaugh, says “we’re still trying to figure out the best way forward.” Sten’s meeting with the committee on Friday led him to believe that a blue ribbon panel is “not like to succeed,” and he’s having conversations with other city commissioners today about it. (Indeed, leaders in the Latino community have balked at a blue ribbon panel, possibly sinking it before the commissioners could even form it.)

More to come, after I speak with Sten.

As noted in the comments to GMN, the NYT fellated Portland yet again this weekend… this time about our city’s bike ecomony. (Anyone care to predict the next PDX topic the NYT will write an ode to?)

The city regularly ranks at the top of Bicycling Magazine’s list of the best cycling cities and has the nation’s highest percentage of workers who commute by bike, about 3.5 percent, according to the Census Bureau. Drivers here are largely respectful of riders, and some businesses give up parking spaces to make way for bike racks.

“Our intentions are to be as sustainable a city as possible,” Mr. [Sam] Adams said. “That means socially, that means environmentally and that means economically. The bike is great on all three of those factors. You just can’t get a better transportation return on your investment than you get with promoting bicycling.”

(Meanwhile, in Seattle, a writer at our sister paper compares Seattle’s attitude of grudgingly accomodating cyclists—one of whom was shot with a BB gun during his commute home last week—with Portland’s cultivation of “a culture of cycling.”)

The newest member of the internet club? NPR Music: a site just launched today to feature all the music NPR (and her sister stations, like Seattle’s awesome KEXP) loves. Check out music from The Hold Steady, Thelonious Monk, studio sessions with Band of Horses… and a music blog by Sleater-Kinney’s Carrie Brownstein?? Okay, I’ve pooh-poohed NPR in the past, but I’m kind of loving this. Check it out!

On today’s show, Matt and Magenta review the Pizzazz! talent show and Matt’s drunken judging of it. Matt has a dream about a dead soul singer. Magenta finds this funny for some reason. Music by The Del Toros, Pure Country Gold, Squeeze, Boston and the Clash. Welcome to episode 44 of PURE POD FOR NOW PEOPLE!

One of the more interesting attendees during Portland Fashion Week was Sofia Hedström, a correspondent for SvD, which she described to me as the Swedish equivalent of the New York Times. Her coverage of the event has just come out: check it here. But there’s a wee catch… my Swedish sucks. Anyone?

Google announces the gPhone—er, the “Open Handset”—will be available late next year. “We are not building a GPhone; we are enabling 1,000 people to build a GPhone,” said Andy Rubin, Google’s director of mobile platforms, who led the effort to develop the software.

Hollywood’s writers have gone on strike.

Pakistan—a “key ally… in the war on terror”—is in disarray, after President Gen. Pervez Musharraf declared a state of emergency, and suspended the constitution “in anticipation of a Supreme Court ruling that could have prevented his re-election as president.” Now, protesters and police are clashing, and the U.S. is begging President Musharraf to restore constitutional rule (ironic, huh?).

Is challenging or “attacking” Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton—aka, the current frontrunner for the Democratic nomination—sexist? Or is Clinton playing the “gender card”?

Teenagers taunted a 71-year-old man on MAX Saturday night, for being old. Then, one of the teens allegedly assaulted him with a baseball bat.

In case you haven’t been paying attention, more than a few of us at the Mercury are big old nerds about His Dark Materials, Philip Pullman’s excellent trilogy of smart, allegorical fantasy novels.

That said, as much as I like the books, I am… ah, shall we say, less than excited about the film, since it sounds like all the interesting stuff has been ditched in favor of cuddly CG animals. And if the latest trailer is any indication… well, whatever. Watch it below, or go here for a non-YouTube version.

The weird thing? If they’d have just shown the stuff with Sam “Stache Attack” Elliott and that badass armored bear, I’d be thinking the movie could be great—by the look and sound of things, they’ve nailed those two characters. Too bad everything else looks either cheesy as fuck or like it’s been lifted from that Narnia business. (Which, weirdly, is based on another fantasy series that symbolically deals with religion, albeit with far less interesting results.) I mean… ah, whatever. Maybe I’m just in a lousy mood. But c’mon. Motherfucking Pan sounds like he’s from another upcoming movie starring talking animals.