Here’s the latest chapter in the saga of the political scandal that really isn’t…

Last night, the unnamed person or persons behind john4pdx.com—which links to a sideswipe in WW’s Murmurs column, directed at city council candidate John Branam—contacted me to explain their motive, which boiled down to calling on John to further explain why he handed out a “controversial” New York Times bestseller last year, to some of his colleagues at Portland Public Schools.

Branam responds:

I gave Juan Williams’ book Enough, which is about self-empowerment, to several co-workers because it discusses important issues in our society including one that is particularly relevant at Portland Public Schools: namely, the unfortunate achievement gap between minority students and white students. I found the book had challenging, interesting and important insights into this issue. Not surprisingly, I believe part of my job – at PPS and as a future city council member – is to help close this gap. To best address this issue, and to help ensure all of Portland’s children have the requisite skills to be “successful” adults, I am always looking for bold and innovative ideas. Further, I have a passion for sharing these ideas.

In the spirit of full disclosure, I routinely share books and articles on innovation, creativity, race relations and those examining significant relevant regional and national trends. I think that to understand complex issues we all should read and share books and articles – even those that are controversial and challenging.

Have a good weekend.

John

Case closed?

Free Geek and Yea Bicycles are trying to help out Leo, a 12-year-old boy diagnosed with a rare liver disease. He’s the son of a volunteer at Free Geek, and though his illness has gotten worse lately, he’s still trying to enjoy life as he waits for a liver transplant.

But liver transplants are super expensive, so Free Geek has set up a donation fund and Yea bicycles is raising money through a special Midnight Mystery Ride. They want everyone to participate, so take a moment and check out how you can help a sick kid get better and enjoy an awesome cool bike ride event, or click here to learn more about Leo and how to donate money to help him get the new liver he needs.

-Jennifer Furniss

We just got an email back from Beth Allen, the attorney representing former Fantasy Adult Video general manager Denny O’Neil Jr, who is suing the company for allegations listed in yesterday’s post. Yesterday, lawyers for Fantasy said: ““We are going to vigorously defend the case. We don’t think it has any merit. Our view is that O’Neil was fired for legitimate business reasons—he was not good at his job and was fired. We think this is a sad case of him making things up against his former employers. We have interviewed a number of employees and found not a credible shred of evidence to support any of his allegations.”

Allen, O’Neil’s attorney, hits back. She says:

This case is about how JR O’Neil tried to inject professionalism into the Oregon Entertainment Corporation culture and took steps to ensure that the company abided by very basic worker protection laws. His reward was to be terminated. Under Oregon law, that type of retaliation is unlawful. We look forward to the opportunity to prove Mr. O’Neil’s complaint in court.

Fighting words! Speaking of lawyers, this one has a great name. Like an apartment manager named Lisa Home. Or…er…forget it.

Not merely because she’s wearing (really nice) lingerie, the model in the current Lille Boutique ad is driving at least one Blogtown reader to distraction:

Mercury, do you proof these ads before you post them on your site? Do you realize how hard it has been to focus on the interesting and often humorous topics that you write about here on Blogtown? Not to mention my inability to get any work done in my office. How am I supposed to get through the Good Morning, News! in under twenty minutes with that classy Internet beauty queen looking at me with those soft eyes and just the tiniest hint of a smile?

Read the whole thing, posted above… or just look at the picture(s) I guess.

Do you have a fantastic idea for a podcast show, and are you interested in having it featured on our pod-n-vod page? We are looking into possibly expanding our rotation of shows. Here’s the scoop:

1. Your idea must be nothing less than awesome.
2. You must be available to record your show sometime during the hours of 9am-4pm Monday-Friday.
3. You don’t need any technical recording/computer knowledge. I help you record your show, and I do all the editing.
4. Your only compensation is fame*.

Please submit a pilot of your show on CD or cassette, along with your name, phone number, and email address to:
The Portland Mercury
Attn. Christine S. Blystone
605 NE 21st Ave, Suite 200
Portland, OR 97232

If you are unable to send in a show pilot (booooo!), you can send me an email outlining what your great idea is.

If you already have a show, but are interested in having it syndicated on pod-n-vod, email me an MP3 of your show, or a link to your website.

*Fame not guaranteed.

Via the Portland Tribune comes news that Sho Dozono—CEO of Azumano Travel downtown—appears to have landed the website shoformayor.com. The site’s still under construction, but it was registered to Azumano Travel on November 9. Dozono’s been a rumored possible candidate for months now. I’ve called him for comment, and will let you know what he has to say.

Sports Illustrated is reporting that famed motorcycle daredevil EVEL KNIEVEL is dead at the age of 69.

Knievel’s death was confirmed by his granddaughter, Krysten Knievel. He had been in failing health for years, suffering from diabetes and pulmonary fibrosis, an incurable condition that scarred his lungs.

Knievel, of course, was best known for his feats of motorcycle daredevilry, jumping school buses, shark tanks, and most famously, his unsuccessful attempt at jumping the Snake River Canyon back in 1974. (As well as breaking every bone in his body.) Though also known as kind of a jerk (and accused of domestic abuse), Knievel was at least refreshing for his insistence on speaking his mind, regardless of topic. Here’s Lance Chess’ Portland Mercury interview with Knievel from 2005, just to prove that last point. Regardless of his consistent grumpiness, he did make peace recently with Kanye West—the two had feuded over West’s Knievel-inspired “Touch the Sky” video—which produced this great photo from a few days ago.

So rest in peace, Evel! May your rocket cycle successfully make that jump to the other side.

Oh, and while we’re paying tribute, check out this Knievel jump at Portland’s Memorial Coliseum from 1973.

While our chat with DJ Mike Simonetti didn’t go all that well, don’t let that sway you from hitting up the Italians Do It Better party at Rotture tonight. In addition to Simonetti on the decks, and the disco thrust of headliners Glass Candy, there will be free CDs and other goodies as well.

Free goodies, it’s what we live for.

MP3:
Glass Candy - Digital Versicolor

This Justice League of America movie is going to be a complete clusterfuck. I feel pretty safe in declaring that right now. Usually I’m more objective than that, but everything I’ve read on this thing just seems… ugh. Rushed and ill-advised, like Warner Bros. is so sadly desperate for another superhero franchise (one that might actually make money, unlike that unfortunate Superman Returns business) that they’ll keep green-lighting anything with “DC” written on it, even if it’s almost certain to be terrible.

BUT ANYWAY. Word is that Wonder Woman has finally been cast. It’s MEGAN GALE! Whoa! Holy shit, right?

Yeah, I don’t have any idea who she is either, but apparently she likes to get naked a lot in her photo shoots, and you really can’t argue with that. Story at Filmdrunk, NSFW images scattered around via Google. Enjoy, fanboys, and try to keep the chafing to a minimum.

Here at the Mercury Institute of Advanced Sexuacity, we’re constantly looking for the most effective ways to make sure you get sex this weekend. This week, we’re calling upon two standards that never fail: 90s R&B hottie MONIFAH, and “the occult.”
Okay, so let’s say you know WHO you want to have sex with, you just don’t know what to say. That’s where this magic incantation comes in. Approach the object of your affections and say the following:

(YOUR NAME) in the cool of the house/

All I wanna do is make you bounce/

(HIS/HER NAME) will you turn me out?/

Show me what your thing is all about.

REPEAT

As you can clearly see in the following awesome 1998 video of Monifah’s “Touch It,” this magic spell works like a charm. Especially on army boys.

There’s reportedly a guy with a bomb strapped to his chest, in the Rochester, NH office of the Clinton campaign. Check out live, local video here.

According to Stereogum, somewhat recent PDX transfer Laura Veirs is offering up her skills (6 solo records, fancy tours with the likes of the Decemberists & tons more accolades) as a seasoned musician to all the inspiring students out there.

For a small fee, Veirs can school you (via private lesson) on everything from the guitar to the intimidating-sounding Clawhammer banjo. If you are interested in being a pupil of Laura—that’s Ms. Veirs to you—then you can email Clyde Petersen.

WOW. There are just so many things to love about this CNN report about three nude transvestites attacking the staff of a Memphis McDonalds. Though we don’t get to hear the trannies’ side of the story, I think we get enough info from this report to make a sound judgment. So watch it, and in the comments below, let us know: WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON—McDONALDS’ STAFF OR THE NUDE TRANNIES?

Unlike what was accidentally, mistakenly reported while I was away on vacation, the holiday sale at Liza Rietz + A Broken Spoke (2305 NW Savier) begins today! Look for 10-30% off men’s and women’s clothing, gift ideas for under $50 (men’s ties, women’s cloches), as well as gift certificates. Sale only runs through Sunday, so don’t delay!

A hurricane in Oregon? That’s what might hit us this weekend, forecasters say. And weather forecasters are always right.

In Illinois, police sergeant Drew Peterson is under suspicion for the disappearance of his wife. Police had been called to Peterson’s house 18 times for domestic disturbance between Peterson and his previous wife (who died mysteriously), but Peterson was never arrested. Residents think the cops were protecting Peterson and are to blame for the disappearance of Peterson’s latest wife.

In Sudan, protestors call for an execution of the British schoolteacher who allowed her class of 7-year-olds to name a teddy bear Muhammad.

As the writers strike continues, O’Brien says he’ll pay his staff out of his own pocket next week so they won’t be laid off.

As I noted earlier today, there’s a shadow John Branam for city council website—but it redirects to a Willamette Week pieces that’s not entirely flattering. This afternoon, Branam responded to the anonymous attack, saying “This is a strange and unfortunate development. I’m hopeful this city council race will focus on ideas about Portland’s future and will not be about playing silly games. That someone anonymously registered a similar domain name is just weird and cowardly; especially in Portland politics—or, at least how I would like to see Portland politics play out.”

I sent a longshot email to the anonymous registration email address, which looked like it’d redirect into some inbox that even robots never checked.

I was wrong—somebody did get it, and replied via a web-base greeting card set to send from my email address to my email address (ooo, very cloak and dagger!).

Here’s what he/she/they had to say:

As the candidates in the city council work to define who they are to the public, their past is just as important as what they say now and in the future. John is very media slick and coupled with Phil (Mr. Mercury) they have the ability to influence stories especially in the Mercury and the WW. To be fair to John, I’ll stop the redirection of the website in question but I’d like hear him give a clear explanation to the Willamette Week story. The redirection of the website pointed to a story that had been previously posted and that he never disputed at the time. He says, “Also, as far as the WWeek news story that the site points to, it hardly seems ‘newsworthy’ that I purchased a book by a well-known NPR correspondent and Pulitzer Prize winner. The ‘news’ story’s inference was that it was inappropriate for a black man to give out a book about black America. I don’t know why anyone would want to revisit that story.”

He DOES NOT mention why he would give the book in the first place. There is NO story that he purchased the book. No one cares that he purchased it. People are free to read whatever they please. The REAL STORY is why would he choose to distribute it to his colleagues in the education system. I stress the story is that he didn’t give the book to friends but co-workers including the Superintendent of Portland Public Schools. When we are trying to choose our future leaders of the city its important to find out what motivates them and what thinking lies behind their actions. He can put this whole thing to rest by saying what his intentions were by passing this book out at work and what were the reactions of those he gave it to. End of story. Goodnight. Thanks!

I’ve asked the Branam campaign if they’d like to respond further…

Do you want to write for the Mercury’s film section? Not a lot, mind you, just a bit—maybe one to four film shorts a month.

Okay, cool. But there’s a catch: You can’t suck. Every week, we receive literally billions of unsolicited pitches and clips from people who want to write for the Mercury. 99.99 percent of said pitches and clips are fucking terrible. No offense intended; I’m sure the people who send them in are very nice and all that, but I don’t care how friendly you are if your writing makes me want to jam a rusty crowbar into my left eye socket.

So: If you want to write for the Mercury’s Pulitzer-winning film section, you need to be able to write well, and you need to know and love movies, and you need to know and love the Mercury, and you also need to not be an insufferable jerk and/or an arrogant know-it-all. Also, you need to live in Portland, and you need to have reliable transportation to possible film screenings, and you (obviously) need to have a DVD player/TV. Also, you need to be funny, so as to counteract the brutal unfunniness of Matt Davis.

If you meet the above criteria, send me three movie reviews, each 100 words or less, of whatever recent movies you feel like writing about. Or, if you have published clips, send me a few links to your relevant writing. And if this wasn’t obvious already, I have zero desire to wade through a bunch of boring, pretentious, and/or poorly written bullshit, and I have entirely too many messages in my inbox as is, so if you aren’t any good, don’t bother.

Make sure your subject line is “I Want to Write for the Mercury’s Film Section!” Also, just because why the hell not, include your top five favorite movies.

Since I’m nothing if not fair, and I’d never ask anyone to name their Top Five without also offering to do the same, here are mine:

1. Teen Wolf
2. Teen Wolf
3. Teen Wolf
4. Back to the Future Part II
5. Teen Wolf Too

I learned some interesting stuff from Garrison Keillor this afternoon.*

1. Louisa May Alcott, Madeline L’Engle, and CS Lewis share a birthday. Today! Happy birthday, guys.

2. Before she found a formula that worked with Little Women, Alcott wrote “lurid” Victorian potboilers (like A Long Fatal Love Chase) under a male pseudonym.

3. CS Lewis had his religious conversion (prompted by conversations with JRR Tolkien) while walking to the zoo.

Who knew!

*Am I fired for this?

This week: Former General Manager of Fantasy Adult Video makes sensational allegations against its owners. Welcome to my now regular blogumn, Breaking The Law, featuring FASCINATING ALLEGATIONS of all kinds. Last week, it was alleged fat discrimination. This week, it’s a $3.7million lawsuit filed against Fantasy Adult Video. Remember: I’m writing about pending litigation that’s not yet been decided in court. We’re talking about allegations, and not facts. But yes, we are also talking about SEX. Which sells! So, on with it…
SUBTLETY: Because it grabs your attention…

Denny O’Neil, Jr., a former general manager of Fantasy Adult Video who worked for them between September 2005 until February 14, 2007, is suing the shop’s parent company, Oregon Entertainment Corporation (OEC), for alleged wrongful discharge, retaliation, creation of a hostile work environment, discrimination and breach of contract.

Sara and Beth Allen, attorneys for O’Neil, are yet to return a call for comment. Nevertheless, O’Neil makes several pretty strong allegations in his suit, (and I cannot stress enough that these are ALLEGATIONS and could all be untrue) removed to Federal Court on November 27, including: regular anonymous sex between patrons and employees in the store’s video booths (paragraphs 8&9—all included, after the jump); that O’Neil was retaliated against for protesting this practice on safety grounds, and told by the business’s owner Tracy Blakeslee that such a policy was “good for business,”; that Blakeslee and his domestic partner and special projects manager Maurice Cooper told him to fire employees whose HIV positive medical condition had progressed to full-blown AIDS, “because those employees were driving up the cost of the employee health insurance plan,” (paragraph 10); that a male employee resigned because he felt he was being harassed by Cooper, but that Blakeslee became angry at O’Neil for reporting the allegation and retaliated against him for it (paragraphs 11-14); that Blakeslee and Cooper exposed O’Neil to a constant barrage of sexual discussion constituting harassment (detailed in paragraphs 15&16); that O’Neil was ultimately terminated on February 14, 2007, with the stated reason being “budgetary cutbacks,” but that shortly after his termination, OEC hired a new employee to do O’Neil’s job.

Bradley Woodworth, attorney for OEC, says: “We are going to vigorously defend the case. We don’t think it has any merit. Our view is that O’Neil was fired for legitimate business reasons—he was not good at his job and was fired. We think this is a sad case of him making things up against his former employers. We have interviewed a number of employees and found not a credible shred of evidence to support any of his allegations.”

The case continues. More sordid alleged specifics after the jump.

O'Neil is referred to as "Plaintiff" in the suit. "Defendant" is Oregon Entertainment Corporation, doing business as Fantasy Adult Video. He is suing for violation of ORS 654 , on occupational safety and health, and for wrongful discharge in violation of federal public policy related to safe employment, for discrimination and retaliation of the civil rights act of 1991, and of ORS 659A on discrimination in employment, for violating state and federal law on hostile work environments, for termination in retaliation for protesting against the alleged practice of anonymous sex between employees and customers, and for termination in violation of public policy concerning the discrimination against individuals with AIDS, not to mention breach of contract for allegedly terminating him because of "budget cutbacks."

Here are the relevant paragraphs in the suit, referred to before the jump:

8. A portion of Defendant's business income comes from operating video display booths where customers may watch adult movies by depositing money into the booth (collectively "the arcade"). It is commonly known by the owners and employees that some patrons have anonymous sex in these video booths in the arcade.

9. On or about November 1, 2005, Plaintiff learned that some employees engaged in anonymous sex with some patrons in the video display booths. Plaintiff complained to Defendant's owner and President, Tracy Blakeslee, that this was dangerous to the health of both customers and employees and that the business should institute a policy against it. Blakeslee was reluctant to institute a policy against such actions because he felt the employees' conduct was "good for business," but eventually allowed a policy to be instituted and put in place on or about January 2006. Blakeslee did not support the policy. Shortly before Plaintiff was terminated, Plaintiff witnessed Blakeslee accompanying a customer to the arcade. Plaintiff indicated his objection to such conduct. Blakeslee stated to Plaintiff that OEC was his business and he would do what he wanted with it. Plaintiff also heard Blakeslee's domestic partner and Defendant's Special Projects manager, Maurice Cooper, express a desire to terminate the employment of employees who complained about other employees having sex with customers.

10. On or about October 24, 2006, Blakeslee and Cooper told Plaintiff to terminate certain employees whose HIV positive medical condition had progressed to full-blown AIDS, because those employees were driving up the cost of the employee health insurance plan. Plaintiff believed this to be both illegal and immoral and kept those employees on staff under the pretext that they were necessary to the function of the business. On February 3, 2007, Blakeslee again complained that those employees were driving up health costs.

11. In late December 2006 or early January 2007, a male employee resigned and complained to his store manager that he was quitting because he felt sexually harassed and objectified at work. When Plaintiff learned of the reason the employee quit, he asked the store manager to investigate. The investigation report revealed that the employee quit because he felt he was being harassed and objectified by Cooper.

12. On or about February 3, 2007, Plaintiff discussed the allegations of the investigation report with Blakeslee. He told Blakeslee that it was imperative to investigate the allegation and to take action if the allegation were found to be true.

13. Defendant's president became angry at Plaintiff for reporting the allegation concerning sexual harassment of the employee as stated in Paragraphs 11 and 12 and for beginning the investigation. He ordered Plaintiff to cease all actions related to the investigation and not to discuss it with anyone.

14. Defendant began berating Plaintiff, excluding Plaintiff from normal management communications, and ultimately terminated him, at least in part, for raising the allegation concerning sexual harassment and instituting the investigation of that allegation.

15. Throughout his employment at Defendant, Blakeslee and Cooper exposed Plaintiff to a constant barrage of sexual discussion beyond that necessary for Plaintiff to undertake his duties managing an "adult" oriented business. This harassment included:

a) discussion of Blakeslee's personal sex life and sexual escapades;
b) discussion of Cooper's personal sex life and sexual escapades;
c) innuendo and veiled propositions directed by Cooper to Plaintiff to engage in sexual relations with Cooper with and without Blakeslee;
d) Cooper's urging plaintiff to use the services of prostitutes;
e) Blakeslee suggested that Plaintiff hire a prostitute and put the cost on Plaintiff's expense report
f) Blakeslee's requiring Plaintiff, while on a business trip to Los Angeles, to accompany Blakeslee while Blakeslee drove to find a prostitute to solicit sex, and;
g) Cooper making suggestions to Plaintiff concerning "waxing" his posterior and getting massages that involved sexual contact.

On or about February 3, 2007, Plaintiff complained to Blakeslee that he specifically wanted Cooper's conduct, as described in this paragraph, to stop.

16.Plaintiff was clear that such discussion and conduct as alleged in the paragraph above was not welcome.

Whatever, dude.

So was Charles Bukowski a Nazi sympathizer? According to his former landlord he was, says a new story from the Associated Press. In Los Angeles, Bukowski fans are donning their most stained wife-beaters, kicking stray cats out of the way, grabbing beer bottles filled with bourbon, and trying to turn the late author’s bungalow into a civic monument. But the building owners are calling bullshit, for the following reason: “This man loved Hitler,” Victoria Gureyeva, told LA Weekly. Poet Ben Pleasants, who wrote Visceral Bukowski: Inside the Sniper Landscape of L.A. Writers, recalled “interviewing Bukowski at a deli when the writer ‘gawked at the predominantly Jewish diners’ and belted out ‘turn on the gas,’ a reference to concentration camp gas chambers.”

“Loving Hitler” is obviously a gigantic accusation to hurl at anybody and is a resoundingly histrionic way of calling somebody an anti-Semite. And since “Hank” isn’t going to come back from his grave with a Gunter Grass-style confession of having been an SS youth, arguing over his supposed Nazi leanings seems kind of pointless. Besides…

Those Bukowski books suck! Come on. Please tell me that either (A) you’ve come to realize this, or that (B) you’re not legal drinking age yet, in which case your obsession with Bukowski’s ham (on rye)-fisted glorifications of alcoholism and ugly women is essentially a rite of passage. Every self-destructive, literary leaning male who reads goes through a Bukowski period, but it’s only tragic when they don’t emerge from the experience realizing that they’re not liver-dead mailmen scrounging for winning tickets at the track, or realizing that Bukowski is sort of “poetry for dummies” that requires little discernable brain power.

(Feel free to jump my shit, but I readily admit to loving Bukowski so hard years ago. There’s an excellent chance that I bought into the whole thing more than you. [I was also in the midst of an early Tom Waits fanaticism, which can be equally stunting.] When I sold my Bukowski collection in ‘96, the big used bookstore in Denton set up a display at the front of the store to highlight the windfall. I was into it deep. [Then it came time to grow up.])

So go ahead and tell me how wrong I am about Bukowski, but first try to find 50 consecutive words that the man wrote that don’t sound like a caricature of bad Bukowski-ripoff college poetry. Bonus points for any material that sways the “Hitler lover” argument one way or another.

UPDATE: John Branam responds:

This is a strange and unfortunate development. I’m hopeful this city council race will focus on ideas about Portland’s future and will not be about playing silly games. That someone anonymously registered a similar domain name is just weird and cowardly; especially in Portland politics—or, at least how I would like to see Portland politics play out.

Also, as far as the WWeek news story that the site points to, it hardly seems “newsworthy” that I purchased a book by a well-known NPR correspondent and Pulitzer Prize winner. The “news” story’s inference was that it was inappropriate for a black man to give out a book about black America. I don’t know why anyone would want to revisit that story.

Probably the most interesting question is who did this—or who would want to do this. The site was registered just weeks after we started up the campaign—and, at a time that only a handful of people knew my domain name—the web designer, some friends and a few local media people.

***

ORIGINALLY POSTED AT 11:44 am: Hmm… this is interesting. Yesterday, while linking to John Branam’s city council campaign website, I inadvertently plugged in john4pdx.com—when his real campaign site is at john4pdx.org.

But the .com site is active—except it redirects to a year-old Willamette Week Murmurs column with an item on Branam.

Stocking-stuffer shopping for your favorite Portland Public Schools administrator? Cross off Enough: The Phony Leaders, Dead-End Movements, and Culture of Failure That Are Undermining Black America—and What We Can Do About It from your list. Top administrators, including Superintendent Vicki Phillips, already have copies of the Juan Williams book, courtesy of district development director John Branam. The 2006 book by Williams, an NPR senior correspondent and Fox News contributor, takes the controversial position that black Americans are largely responsible for their own failures. Phillips says in an email that “a colleague passed a copy along to me a couple of days ago, but I have not read it yet.”

Who’s behind the phony campaign site? Who knows! The registration is veiled—but the site was procured on October 10, just a few weeks after the real site was purchased, but before that URL was widely publicized. I’m expecting a response from Branam later this afternoon.

In other election news, the Oregonian reported today that County Commissioner Maria Rojo de Steffey “will almost certainly seek a seat on the Portland City Council.”

“I’m 99.9 percent there,” Rojo de Steffey, 62, said Wednesday. “Somebody could still talk me out of it, but I’m running.”

…because we never forget where our priorities lie.

Even more at Egotastic.

I skipped a tree the past two years, but I’m overly excited—and possibly a little bit crazy—about heading out to a u-cut place this year. But where to start? I’ve found dozens of possible farms.

Anyone have a good recommendation? Helpful staff who will lash the tree to the roof of our not-very-big car is a major plus.

The AP is reporting that everyone’s favorite jagoff, Carson Daly, “is about to become the first late-night talk show to defy the writers strike and resume production.”

Just like when Ellen DeGeneres decided to keep doing her crappy show regardless of her writers’ protests, Daly’s move is pretty shitty in general. (Daly also seems like a total milquetoast, so I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s just following orders from NBC brass, but still. And it’s pretty telling that even if that is the case, neither of NBC’s other late-night stars, Leno or Conan, have shown any indication of coming back before the strike’s over.)

But what’s even worse for anyone with a TV is how Daly’s planning on compensating for his lack of writers, according to The Smoking Gun:

NBC late night host Carson Daly, who today announced that he is returning to the air in the face of the ongoing writers strike, wants his friends and family to help with his scab efforts. In an e-mail, Daly asked a small group of contacts to call in “suggested jokes” to a telephone hotline, noting that he would “play some, most, or all of your jokes on the air.” The bit, Daly stressed, was not meant to “make fun” of his striking writers. He added that his goal was to just “play a fun collage of random people trying to ‘help me out.’” The bit’s set-up, Daly wrote in his Sunday night e-mail (a copy of which you’ll find below) was that “the devastating writers strike” led to “A TON of my friends and family… calling me, leaving messages, offering their help with jokes because they know that I don’t have any writers working and hosting a latenight show without them will be nearly impossible for me.” At the bottom of his note, Daly included brief messages to some of his associates seeking jokes from some of their “celeb friends,” golfing pals, or “random peeps.”

Please note Daly’s wholly unironic usage of the terms “celeb friends” and “random peeps.” Also, see above photo.

Holy smokes, another Mercury music section to browse while you learn about (literal) classic car fetishes. Gross.

No beard jokes, promise. Instead, let’s just take a moment to enjoy the whispered hush of Sam Beam and Iron & Wine.
MP3: Iron & Wine - Lovesong of the Buzzard

A little love, and hate, for Canuck emcee Buck 65. Hate to say it, but his latest album (Situation) is pretty unlistenable.
MP3: Buck 65 - Lipstick

One of the most enjoyable pop records of the year, Scotland Yard Gospel Choir’s self-titled debut (released by the typically alt-country label Bloodshot) is a welcome surprise. Granted, the whole “Scotland” thing might not be a coincidence since SYGC is very reminiscent of early Belle & Sebastian, yet they are not without their own unique charm as well.
MP3: Scotland Yard Gospel Choir - I Never Thought I Could Feel This Way For A Boy

It’s time for Artix Fest, the “annual celebration of Strange and Dangerous music.” Featuring the nightmare party skronk of Cex Fucx, plus about 11 more bands as well.
MP3: Cex Fucx - Portland Cement Edit/I Wanna Cex You Up

This Saturday, from 10 am-4 pm at 323 NE Wygant, studios 204 & 206, Anna Cohen is having a huge sample sale with pieces up to 70% off! Just the thing if you want to snag something in vibrant orange to carry the torch as the colors of fall give way to winter. Speaking of Anna Cohen, word is that she’s in the running for an ecoStyle award, which—fingers crossed—would whisk her away to Malaysia in the coming weeks. (An example of her competition? Stella McCartney.) A joint venture between NYC Inc and IMG Fashion (there aren’t many bigger guns in the field), this is what you would call A Big Deal—it’s the inaugural year for what promises to be a longstanding, high profile distinction for innovators in design fields from fashion to architecture to product.

Get more fashion scoop on M.O.D.

Local popsters The Thermals love them some green screens and calesthentics, both of which are present in their fun video for “Returning To The Fold.” The band gets a workout by doing a lot of running in place (is that Mt Tabor?), falling, boating on the Willamette and a whole slew of other wacky hijinks, all thanks to some green screen trickery.

The Thermals play Backspace tomorrow night. It’s a free show (with Yacht) and is going to be really damn crowded.

• Pakistan has a new civilian president, Pervez Musharraf who promises to lift the state of emergency by December 16, and restore the constitution before the January elections. He also said that “Dancing with the Stars is a travesty! That Cheetah girl should’ve won!”

• Former Illinois Republican rep, Henry Hyde—who pushed for the impeachment of President Clinton, and was a strong voice for anti-abortion—is dead. Let’s try not to cry all at once.

• In last night’s CNN/YouTube Republican debate Mitt Romney and Rudy Giuliani went head to head on such topics as immigration, torture, and this baby goat jumping on a bed. Regardless of which side of the aisle you sit, that’s ADORABLE!

• Speaking of adorable, did you see the picture of this girl in this week’s edition of Last Supper? SHE’S SUPER CUTE.

Perhaps that isn’t “news” in the classic sense; but it is an apt observation.

Former Sleater-Kinney guitarist Carrie Brownstein has written an excellent piece in Slate about the fervor over the video game Rock Band.

The drums are the best part. They would look at home in a 1980s Flock of Seagulls video—four color-coded circular drum pads and a kick pedal. Drum stool (aka throne) not included, but, as I discovered, a coffee table works just fine. Brad kindly set up Rock Band in the middle of my living room, a typically austere space reserved for reading (except that I never read there), and one kept tidy in case I invite friends over (which I rarely do). Even so, littering the space with guitars and drums was strangely intrusive. I felt like the mother of a teenager. How long was this band planning on hanging out, and why was their stuff lying around all over the place?

Brownstein also breaks down the game versus the real experience:

The touring life

Rock Band: You never have to convince yourself that Ruby Tuesday is a good restaurant or that five days is an acceptable amount of time to go without a shower. Your spouse, significant other, dogs, and kids all get to come along without making anyone mad. One major drawback is that you haven’t actually left your house, nor has anyone actually attended your shows. You do save on gas.

I have yet to sit down to the plastic drum pads and try out the game, but is it worth the hype? Do I really need to spend the time learning Weezer’s “Say It Ain’t So” on a plastic guitar? Any gamer experts out there who want to add their two cents on the Rock Band experience?

Another day, another mayoral candidate. With today’s announcement from Slav Davidzon—the 26-year-old founder and CEO of ThinkHost, Inc web hosting services and a “social change entrepreneur and leader” (plus “an experienced technical professional and peace advocate”)—City Commissioner Sam Adams has nine challengers for the seat Mayor Tom Potter is vacating. (However, from the city’s records, Davidzon hasn’t technically filed yet.)

Davidzon’s entire announcement is after the jump, and you can check out his campaign site at ourportland.org.

He’s a Green Party member who admits that his is a “long-shot campaign”—but one he thinks could “forever change the political landscape of our great nation.” He’s also got a bike touring company, and is an occasional commenter on the bikey SHIFT email list and BikePortland.org—where a post about his candidacy today elicited plenty of vitriol toward Davidzon from those more familiar with him than I am, with comments like “He thought my organization should be bending over backwards to support his bike tour and was shockingly rude and pushy about it. I really did not appreciate his entitled attitude, nor his disrespect for my time or my organization’s other work. He does not speak for me, or plenty of others in the bike community who have told me about similar experiences.”

His ideas are awfully lofty, but they may appeal to Portland’s progressive set (and offer a nice contrast to yesterday’s new candidate, the curmudgeonly Gerhard Watzig).

Some highlights of his “think global, act local” platform:

• “Install solar panels on every roof in Portland”

• Provide “locally-owned, locally-controlled, universal, free healthcare” to every Portlander

• Support small business startups by providing “interest-free loans with a mentor program” while simultaneously instituting “higher taxation for big multi-nationals doing business in the city”

• Banning cars from one-fifth of Portland’s streets, leaving them to bikes, pedestrians, and transit

• “The city must stop issuing marriage licenses until it is able to do so in compliance with the Constitution and is able to marry gay and lesbian couples.” (My personal favorite, only because the city has nothing to do with marriage licenses—it’s a county function.)

• Finally, he’d put some teeth into the city’s anti-war resolutions, by “directing the city’s legal department to defend American soldiers who refuse to take part in the mass-murder.”

How is he going to fund and/or do these things? He doesn’t say. I hope to meet him soon, and find out.

More after the jump.

Dear Friend,

It is with much excitement that I am announcing a new vision for a sustainable Portland and a livable future; a vision advanced in my candidacy for Mayor of Portland. I am writing today to invite you to join me in creating a more livable, just, green city; and in turn, a world in which we can all thrive. Please take a moment to visit our new campaign website at www.ourportland.org.

Portland needs a mayor who has the vision and courage to take the bold steps towards true sustainability and social justice; a mayor who will be independent of big money interests; an outsider from the political establishment who will be willing to stick his or her neck out and do the right thing without first calculating the potential costs to his or her own political future and self-interest.

It is time that certain issues became a part of the dialogue about what kind of a city we want and who ought to lead the city towards those goals as the next mayor of our great city:

Universal health care.
It is immoral that thousands of Americans die each year because they do not have access to the medical care they need; but more absurd is the amount of money we're wasting on medical care. We can have cheaper, universal, localized health care.

As mayor, I will work to cover every Portlander with universal health care through a locally-owned, cooperative health system; and in doing so, we will save money, create sustainable jobs, and keep the profits in our city, rather than in the pockets of rich shareholders far away.

Renewable energy.
I will lower electrical bills by creating a cooperative solar-powered electrical company which will install solar panels on every roof in Portland and then sell the energy back to the residents, pumping the excess back into the grid.

Sustainability.
As mayor, I will create true bicycle/pedestrian boulevards by shutting down a major proportion of city streets to traffic; thus immediately improving air quality in the city, lowering the rates of respiratory disease such as asthma, and creating many miles of green space.

Community building and local economic development.
I believe that living communities and living economies go hand-in-hand. We need a massive government funding program to support the development of a local, living, small-business economy that would in turn bring out the best of the city.

Less Walmarts, and more Small-Marts; less Wall Street, more Belmont and Hawthorne Street. And I believe that it is the city's job to support not the wealthy big businesses but the small and independent mom and pop shops that make our city unique.

According to one recent report from Lane County, it costs tax payers $23,800 to create a corporate job, while it only costs $2,100 to create a local, small business job. It simply makes sense to reverse the insane big-business economics that have been shoved down our throats for far too long.

Protecting civil and human rights.
As mayor, I will fight for equal treatment under the law for gay couples -- no marriage licenses will be issued by the city to any couple until gay marriage is equally recognized, as required by the US Constitution.

I will further work to create a fund to defend and support the true patriots -- the US soldiers who refuse to serve as part of the illegal occupation of Iraq.

Let's change the world, together.
This campaign will be based on the simple paradigm of creating rather than protesting -- a belief that it is far more powerful to create something we'd love than to protest that which we dislike; for at the end of the day, it is action, and action alone that counts.

Please take a moment to check out our new campaign site at www.ourportland.org and comment on the vision I am proposing for our incredible city; and let's start building a real democracy
in this city.

With the warmest regards,

Slav Davidzon
www.ourportland.org

Live from the warm and cozy Rose Garden, it’s another thrilling live-blog. Blazers vs the Indiana Pacers. We’re fifteen minutes from tip-off and the arena is bumping with Steve Blake’s musical selections. Who knew Gummo liked hiphop from the Dirty Dirty?

It's "Civil War Night" at the arena tonight, in which fans choose sides between the noble Union troops or the cowardly Southern forces with their curly mustaches and gangrene limbs, oh, oops, my mistake. Evidentially it has something to do with two rival Oregon universities.

Three mascots? A "trail cat," a Beaver and a Duck. Shit's getting crazy and we haven't even started yet. There better be three times the t-shirt gun action tonight.

First Quarter:
11:16 - LaMarcus scores first thanks to an odd bounce. Roy follows with an easy lay-up and we have ourselves and 4-2 Blazers lead.

7:15 - CLANK! So many missed shots by both teams, it's ugly out there. 6-3 Portland. Jeez.

5:12 - Timeout Portland. 15-11 Blazers lead in a sloppy first quarter, but the real news is that Antonio Harvey just yelled "THAT'S BULLSHIT" during the commercial break of the radio broadcast. Wow.

2:36 - Coach's son, Mike Dunleavy Jr., travels and we have a timeout, 18-13 Blazers. Blaze the mascot is now dancing in his "urban" outfit (flannel, top button only buttoned, baggy shorts and crooked cap) to Salt-n-Pepa's "Push It." This is offensive in so many ways, I don't even know where to start.

0:17 - Roy tips it in.. for the Pacers. 22-17 Blazers at the end of the first half.

Second Quarter:
10:302 - Blazers start their no scoring/no defense lineup: Jack, Rodriguez, Webster, LaFrenz, Outlaw. Four quick Pacers points, three quick missed shots by the red and black. 22-22, we're all tied up.

9:17 - Outlaw is fouled hard and stumbles into the camera crew. Jeff Foster gets a technical and nearly gets punched by a pissed Outlaw. That was almost my first basketball fight, but alas, nothing. Were is Ron Artest when you need him? 27-24 Blazers.

6:34 - Jamal Tinsley falls in the near vicinity of Aldridge and gets a very generous foul call. Jack makes a smooth move on the other end and ties the score back up, 33-33.

5:51 - Oh! It's Toyota Half-Court Shot™ time. Dude is gonna win himself a truck. Here it goes... short. Way short. He should lose his current ride for that shot. Take the bus home, dude.

4:45 - Pryz gets stuffed by David Harrison (who?) and gets a lucky foul out of it. He makes up for his lack of jumping ability by hitting both shots. 37-35 Blazers.

2:12 - Happy birthday Tauren Green. All attempts by the PA system to coax a Soulja Boy "Crank That" dance out of him do not work, but it draws a hearty laugh from Greg Oden on the bench.

Halftime: 46-42 Blazers. Halftime is a cheerleader dodgeball game, Civil War style. Why not just have a pillowfight?

Third Quarter:
10:20 - Webster from downtown, that's worth three points. 49-42 Blazers.

7:46 - Again! Pryz tips the ball in... for the other team. That is four free points for Indiana. 49-47 Blazers.

5:59 - Ugh, that was ugly. Blazers settle for a few lazy shots (they don't fall) and Pryz shuffles down the court about a half dozen streps behind his man. Pacers get a whole slew of points and suddenly lead 55-49.

4:49 - Boos from the crowd, but they don't last too long as Aldridge throws down a one-handed dunk. 59-51 Pacers.

3:30 - Jack gets swatted on a great fast break, it's not looking good.

0:36 - This quarter cannot end soon enough. The Blazers have scored all of 11 points this quarter. Christ. 67-55 Pacers.

Fourth Quarter:
Civil War slam-off, the mascots are now dunking the ball, at least someone is scoring points. With the Blazers shooting a pathetic 37.5%, it's safe to say there won't be any post-game free Chalupas.

10:05 - Indiana suddenly has a case of the turnovers and Jamal Tinsley gets a technical for throwing an elbow out of frustration. Blazers making a comeback? 69-66 Pacers.

9:02 - Shit's getting good now. The Rose Garden is loud and the Pacers cough it up again. Outlaw gets fouled at (actually, above) the rim and heads to the line with a chance to take the lead.

8:20 - Outlaw makes his SportsCenter moment with a H-U-G-E defensive block and then assist on the other end to a Rodriguez three-pointer. Suddenly everything changes. 72-69 Portland.

5:13 - Roy to Aldridge for a big dunk and a 77-76 lead. Laser sound effects follow. Now shirts are fired into the crowd at a high rate of speed via an air-gun. Despite the lack of Chalupas, the crowd is pumped.

2:45 - Back and forth they go and Indiana takes advantage of some sloppy Blazers turnovers. 82-82 tie as the officials take away a point from Indiana after a three-pointer was ruled a long two.

1:24 - Pacers bring the D and after Jack airballs it, Aldridge comes up with the ball and later Roy gets swatted at the rim. Meanwhile Pacers score with ease. 87-82 Indiana. Not looking good, Portland.

0:24 - Tinsely ices it with a sweet jumper over Roy. 91-86 Pacers and barring a miracle of Virgin Mary on a corn tortilla proportions, this game is finished.

And that'll do it. The Blazers offense falls stagnant when it counts the most. 95-89 Pacers.

Is it just me, or is there a resurgence of cinematic interest in the battle over fascism in punk and post-punk Britain, lately? The recent Joe Strummer documentary, followed by This is England, have both focused at length on the efforts of the National Front in my homeland to capture young hearts and minds during the country’s lowest economic point for decades. This is England makes the point clearer: The mid ’70s British skinhead movement started out, and still does contain, a hearty anti-racist message. Anyway enough of all that. I’m talking about the CLOTHES.
THIS IS ENGLAND: JUST LOOK AT THAT SHIRT…

Does anybody know where I can buy Ben Sherman or Fred Perry clothing here in Portland? If not, with all the vintage stores around, I think I’ve spotted a retailing opportunity.

“Good news, everyone! Those asinine morons who canceled us were themselves fired for incompetence! And not just fired, but beaten up, too! Pretty badly. In fact, most of them died from their injuries. Then they were ground up into a fine pink powder.”

—Professor Farnsworth in Futurama: Bender’s Big Score

Man, it blows Futurama got cancelled. Always stuck in the shadow of The Simpsons, it never hit quite the way it should have—maybe it was because it was a sci-fi cartoon, maybe it’s because its humor was a little bit more clever and quick and subtle than the broader character-based humor of The Simpsons or King of the Hill. But despite gaining a loyal fanbase, Futurama deserved to be a lot bigger than was. By which I mean it should have been on longer. Mostly so that there would be more of it for me to watch. Because I am selfish.

Luckily, Bender’s Big Score came out yesterday, the first in a series of four new direct-to-DVD Futurama movies. Clocking it at 88 minutes, Bender’s Big Score basically amounts as four new Futurama espisodes, which is good enough for me. For better or worse, the film basically feels like an overlong episode. (Thankfully, though, Futurama’s zanier humor adapts better to this format than the hit-and-miss The Simpsons Movie—it also benefits from the scientific fact that the universe contains entirely too many Simpsons repeats, and not nearly enough fresh Futuramas).

Things get off to a solid start, with Futurama’s jilted writers taking a solid amount of vengeance on Fox execs for canceling the show. (A little while later on, there’s also a welcome jab at another resurrected show, Family Guy, which is fucking terrible, and which should have stayed dead.) From there it kicks into an engaging (and surprisingly complex) plot about time travel, but mostly it’s just an excuse for Futurama’s characters to banter and for Futurama’s writers to throw as many physical, visual, and spoken gags as they can at the screen. Even though the film is feature-length, it doesn’t quite feel long enough--not a second is wasted, and the jokes hit quick, sometimes piling up, which’d be awkward if almost all of them weren’t so solid. It's like the minds behind Futurama never really took time off when the show was off the air, and instead continued writing, saving up all their jokes for this sharp movie.

Another benefit of the DVD: Since it’s basically targeted at longtime fans--or, at the very least, those already familiar with the show--the writers can largely skip the exposition and get down to business, also managing to cram in a ton of fan-favorite characters and references. In other words, all hail the return of Slurm, Zap Branigan, and maybe most importantly, Hypnotoad.

In addition to all the old favorite characters and cameos, there’s an unexpected guest star who pretty much steals the show: Al Gore, as in the real Al Gore, who plays a pivotal role as… Al Gore. There are jabs at the botched 2000 election and environmental references, sure, but the best moment has Gore in the film's climactic space battle, eagerly blazing away at enemy forces: “Finally!” he declares. “I get to save the earth with deadly lasers instead of deadly slideshows!” (I assume Gore’s involvement is somehow connected to Bender’s Big Score being Fox’s first “carbon neutral DVD release.” I don’t know what it means, but it feels like something I should know, and makes me feel guilty about all of my carbony DVDs.)

Anyway, long story short: Futurama got canceled too soon. It was a great show, better than most. And now that the Futurama crew is back on DVD, they're well worth supporting. This is something that isn't only worth watching, it's worth buying--hopefully, these DVD flicks will do well enough that we won't have to be without Futurama ever, ever again.

Okay, one more word… AWESOME!! (I may never need to watch another music video again.)

Lord only knows what Trail Blazers team will show up tonight, as the 5-9 squad hosts the Indiana Pacers. The Pacers have won seven straight games against the red & black, but will be without (former Blazer) Jermaine O’Neal, who is nursing a bum knee.

I’ll be live-blogging the game live from press row at the Rose Garden, so swing on by tonight at 7pm for all the exciting action.

photo: Ryan Lewis

Local hiphop duo Living Proof celebrate the release of their fresh new album, Roots to Branches, tonight. Made up of Prem and Flowtope, the two emcees split time behind the mic and aren’t shy about their love for the hometeam, as shown here with their collab with half of the members (Sapient, Mo-B, Only-One, Iame and Gold) of Sandpeople.

MP3:
Living Proof - N.W. Connect

Living Proof perform tonight at Berbati’s.

I have no idea what this PSA is warning us against—I’m still WAY too horrified to go back and look. Anyway, if you are brave enough, check out this Canadian PSA that’s cautioning us to… ummm… never carry a pot of boiling water on a slippery floor?

I have sort of an unhealthy obsession with top 10 lists, and I also have a reading list that looks like one of those scrolls that unfurls to hit the floor, then rolls out the front door, covered with titles that I need to read. So when the bigwigs at the New York Times announce their 10 best books of ‘07, I get all aflutter. Enough so that I hardly notice my shame at having read but half of one of the titles. And it also gets me thinking about what my favorite books of the year were. I had a really off year for reading, and felt like I went for months at a stretch without anything noteworthy. (The portion of Denis Johnson’s Times-approved Tree of Smoke that I did finish was particularly excellent.) The two stellar books that jump out of my sketchy memory, however, were both knockouts: Amy Fusselman’s 8 and Lucy Corin’s The Entire Predicament. The two books I most wish I had read myself, rather than assigning to other Mercury editors: Michael Chabon’s The Yiddish Policemen’s Union and Michael Ondaatje’s Divisadero. There are of course more (so many more), but I’m always hungry, so I’m asking you what you thought the best books were from the past year. (And no, this is not an invitation to send me Shelfari spam.)

“I’ve had this coming for some time,” he tells the Mercury. “I think Tom Potter had something to do with setting this up.”
LEONARD: Banged up good and proper…

Leonard will spend the hours from 4pm to 8pm this afternoon at the Multnomah County Detention Center, in the company of sheriff’s deputies. He met one of the deputies after doing a ride along last year with a North Precinct police officer—when they dropped a suspect off at the jail, one of the sheriff’s deputies offered him a night inside. It will be interesting to hear what the experience is like for the Commissioner, given recent allegations of prisoner mistreatment at the jail. Let’s hope he leaves his argumentative streak at home.

Ah, fresh from vacation in the land where this movie is all anyone cares about. I’d post the MP3 of the addictive title track (which we heard a brain-numbing four times in our cab ride yesterday), but the CD is hard to find here in the states. Sorry.

But enough about chiseled-chested Bollywood stars, it’s time to plug the Merge Records Charity Auction. The famed indie label is auctioning off rare goodies (via ebay, totally copying us) from the likes of Spoon, Arcade Fire, Robert Pollard, M. Ward, Superchunk and more. Two new items a day, all of which benefit Oxfam America and the Food Bank of Central & Eastern North Carolina. Granted, you might not have the $493 to win that Arcade Fire poster, but keep the link handy since the auction page is sure to have some great stuff.

I wrote about John Branam’s candidacy in last week’s paper, but you can see him in action here, announcing his bid for city council.

This juciy little tidbit courtesy of the Village Voice:

Dan Savage’s The Kid, his book about how he and his boyfriend became parents, is being turned into a musical, and I hear Scott Elliott (The Women, The Threepenny Opera) has inked to direct. That’s one more reason to hope the stagehand strike ends.

Stumptown Stages, what’re you up to next season? A musical about the editor of The Stranger and his partner adopting a kid might be a nice change of pace after Godspell. Just throwing it out there.

• To make sure non-Republicans won’t vote in the presidential primary, the Virginia GOP will make everyone sign an oath of loyalty—preferably in blood.

• Sudan has charged a British school teacher with “religious hatred” for allowing her class to name a teddy bear “Muhammad”—a crime which could get her 40 lashes. Okay… so treat religion with respect, and beat women with a whip. Got it.

• Locally, a pedestrian in a wheelchair has been struck and killed by a hit and run driver. See, it’s not just bicycles.

• A very pregnant Christina Aguilera poses nude on the cover of Marie Claire in an apparent bid to convince us that pregnant women are just as beautiful as normal sized women. Nope. Didn’t work.

Nordstrom has decided to fire its piano players, saying “customers seem to prefer piped-in music,” according to this morning’s Oregonian. The store says the decision is a financial one, and in an economy like ours, that’s an easy spin to get away with, albeit based on fallacy.

Did Proust say “customers seem to prefer shorter books?”

Did Beethoven say “customers seem to prefer less frightening symphonies?”

No. And the only reason I have ever shopped at Nordstrom was because it gave me a sense of class. So now, there’s no reason to shop there. I’ll just head down to the outlet store and get my shoes for cheap.

As a former financial journalist I would also add that the retail analyst, Jennifer Black, quoted in this morning’s paper, is misguided in her description of the move as “financially smart.” Whenever I interviewed third generation investment managers in the City, they would always avoid such a quantitative view of costs, and look at what defines and underpins a business. With Nordstrom, it’s not the brand of sunglasses on offer, or the kind of perfume—we can all get those at Macy’s. It’s the sense you’re visiting somewhere special, and the pianos are key to that. Pun intended.
PIANO: Timeless…

So Nordstrom: Please reverse your decision, or your stock will fall even faster than it has over the last three months. I guarantee it.

Rents are going down at the infamous Grove Hotel following its acquisition by the city of Portland. You can now get a 10x12ft cell, I’m sorry, room, probably with bedbugs, for $335 a month, not $530 a month, thanks to the Housing Authority of Portland, which has just lowered the rates through its management firm, Income Property Management. No word on the bedbugs as yet.

This has “accidental” leak written all over it—well played, Lucasfilm!—but some pictures from Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull have ever-so-mysteriously hit the internet. I like how Indy looks old, but like he could still KICK YOUR ASS.

Wow. Um, badass, I think. Anyway: Second AICN link of the day, but whatever. It’s a big day for nerds, I guess. Hit that link for another photo, as well as high-res versions of all three.

WOW. I was convinced this trailer was a fake… until I saw it for myself on IMDB.com. Ladies and gentlemen, please gasp in horror at this trailer for a movie about a girl who has chompy teeth in her vagina, in a French film appropriately named, TEETH. (That’ll teach that snoopy gynecologist.)

Don’t say city council candidate Amanda Fritz doesn’t root for the underdog. It turns out she has been a Forfar Athletic fan for 30 years—when, coincidentally, just as today, they were the worst soccer team, in the lowest league, in Scotland.
SCOTTISH FOOTBALL: Bloody freezing…a bit shite…

Here’s a sports blog on the Guardian’s website about watching Forfar play the second-worst soccer team in the lowest league in Scotland, in November.

The pitch is artificial, presumably because growing grass in a land of perpetual darkness, where absolute zero is considered a heatwave, is a touch tricky.

It’s a grim, but marvelous read, which has set off my own longing to go and watch Brentford FC play in the freezing cold this Christmas, while munching a nuclear-hot steak and kidney pie on the terraces. Ah, the masochism! I’m intrigued to hear why Fritz maintains her interest in the team, and how supporting them has influenced her own political strategy. Amanda?

Tonight, it’s your chance! Don’t miss the opportunity to catch the ecstatic jerk-rawk of Stuntdoubler. If the terrific songs on the ‘space are any indication, brothers Dave and Kekoa Jaber are going to bring it directly to your face. Tonight they’re first on a bill of local acts presented by In Music We Trust at the Doug Fir. Welsh Rabbit and Shoeshine Blue are playing too, and holy cow, there’s no cover!

Maybe.

After the current Multnomah County Commissioner suggested that the city council abandon their last-minute plan to rename 4th Avenue for César E. Chávez—they ran with her idea—there’s been speculation that Maria Rojo de Steffey is thinking about a run for city commissioner. (Following the hearing where the council nixed both the Interstate and 4th rename proposals, one commissioner told me that if de Steffey had co-chaired the Chávez rename committee, “Interstate would already be renamed.”)

“I am, absolutely” considering it, she told me today. Don’t expect an announcement on way or another until after the holidays. “I’ve got a lot of family coming, and I’m remodeling my house,” she says. Waiting another month also “gives me the time to talk to a lot of folks.”

I suspected that she’d consider challenging Commissioner Randy Leonard—so far, he’s only attracted two opponents: Jerry Kill, who plans to spend less than $300, and Emily Ryan, who as of November 21 had only collected 15 $5 contributions in her bid for public financing (only 985 to go by January 31!).

As an incumbent, Leonard’s seat is fairly secure. It would likely take a well known public figure like de Steffey to unseat him. Following the Interstate rename issue, where Leonard bore the brunt of the Chávez committee’s criticism, it seemed fitting that rename supporter de Steffey would challenge him.

But she won’t. If she does run, she’ll be running for the open seat, she says.

“I have been looking and talking to a lot of people saying you need to run. We need more women, we need more people of color. I think the city needs a balance on the council that it doesn’t have,” she says. “I need to really seriously consider this. Somebody’s got to do it.” It may be her responsibility to be the one to go for it, she says.

So now we know what the Joker will look like in