• Chrysler plans to cut 12,000 jobs or 15 percent of their workforce, thanks to people not buying their shitty cars.

• An anti-gay Kansas church has been ordered to pay $10.9 million to the family of a deceased Marine after homophobes were cheering at his funeral. They got off cheap.

• Apparently, Veep Dick Cheney is now “okay” with everyone calling him Darth Vader. Wonder how he would feel about being arrested for his crimes against humanity, and then called “My prison bitch”?

• Hot new Hollywood couple Reese Witherspoon and Jake “Not Gay” Gyllenhaal took her kids trick or treating last night in L.A.’s trendy Brentwood neighborhood.

Witherspoon, 31, dressed as a witch; Gyllenhaal, 26, an ape.
“They were holding hands and swinging them in the air as they walked around the neighborhood,” adds a witness, who says Gyllenhaal often lifted up his gorilla mask to smooch his Rendition co-star. “Reese was laughing at everything Jake was saying.”

Okay… fine. CUTE!!