• The economic costs of America’s wars in Iraq and Afghanistan have been estimated to total $1.6 trillion (yes, that’s with a “T”).

• A lab in Oregon is cloning monkeys! A lab in Oregon is cloning monkeys! My dreams have become a reality!!

•The 10-year-old boy who started the worst California wildfires in history will not be criminally charged. However… no Super Mario Kart for a week, young man!

• Lance Armstrong’s young daughter took daddy’s new fling Ashley Olsen to school for “Show and Tell.” Ohhhhh… so many jokes, so little time.

• Arizona high school teacher Cristina “I’m a Cheerleader!” Mallon has resigned after her rah-rah performance on a YouTube video got her in trouble with the school board. Shake yer pom-poms, teach!