1.PARIS RIOTS!! 77 cops were injured last night in brutal rioting in a working class suburb north of the French capital. Trouble began Sunday afternoon when two teenagers on a motorbike died in a crash with a police car. Some of those involved in the rioting used hunting shotguns. It’s like something out of an Anthony Burgess novel, although part of me longs to be there with a bullet-proof vest and a telephoto lens. Just look:
PARIS: Livable, sustainable. Local. Organic. Clean and Safe…

2.WONDER WOMAN!! DC Comics assigns a female writer to its amply-busted male fantasy best known lady character, for the first time in her 66-year history. First up: a new, more modest cape?

3.BAD TO WORSE!! Who would you rather have in charge of Pakistan? Its current president, whose constitutional record is becoming increasingly, er, patchy, or its former Prime Minister, Nawaz Sharif, who returned to the country yesterday? Sharif is best remembered in the country for carrying out nuclear tests in competition with India, flying in the face of international opposition, for forging ties with religious conservatives, and fighting with the courts and media over their basic freedoms. Ladies and gentlemen, you can’t polish a turd.

4.KASPAROV!! Vladimir Putin arrests his party’s main rival in upcoming elections, forbids the press reporting on his opposition, and accuses the US of “meddling.” And we’re worried about Pakistan. Sheesh.

5.KONICHIWA!! In what appears to be the most suggestive, snickering headline I’ve read this year, Reuters is reporting that a new Japanese robot “with soft hands chats and serves meal.” Never mind the food, what about afterwards?

6.CHECK YOUR IRA!! We are now officially in a market “correction,” the technical term for the market being down 10% from its recent high. The Dow Industrial index hit 14,164.53 on October 9, now it’s at 12,743.44. This is bad news in the short term if you’re mainly invested in the United States. If you’re mainly invested elsewhere, chill your boots. In the long run, of course, such corrections are to be expected, and you can still expect to gain 8% a year, on average, by investing in the stock market. Sorry. I appear to have switched back to my old job, temporarily. I’d better say something true and unbalanced to make up for it: the stock market is GOING TO HELL with LUCIFER!!!

Good day!!