In case you haven’t been paying attention, more than a few of us at the Mercury are big old nerds about His Dark Materials, Philip Pullman’s excellent trilogy of smart, allegorical fantasy novels.

That said, as much as I like the books, I am… ah, shall we say, less than excited about the film, since it sounds like all the interesting stuff has been ditched in favor of cuddly CG animals. And if the latest trailer is any indication… well, whatever. Watch it below, or go here for a non-YouTube version.

The weird thing? If they’d have just shown the stuff with Sam “Stache Attack” Elliott and that badass armored bear, I’d be thinking the movie could be great—by the look and sound of things, they’ve nailed those two characters. Too bad everything else looks either cheesy as fuck or like it’s been lifted from that Narnia business. (Which, weirdly, is based on another fantasy series that symbolically deals with religion, albeit with far less interesting results.) I mean… ah, whatever. Maybe I’m just in a lousy mood. But c’mon. Motherfucking Pan sounds like he’s from another upcoming movie starring talking animals.