HOT.

I'm just happy that I've seen more than Tom Cruise.

Natalie has eluded to harboring regrets having done this.

I don't know. It didn't add anything other than the distraction of seeing my #1 mega all time all star hollywood crush's butt sans proper butt coverings.

Buttz!

It was actually her role in Goya's Ghost that she referred to having regretted doing a scene.

Weird. That's not what I read. I had no idea she was getting so naked all the time. God bless!

How can Natalie Portman's naked ass be unnecessary? That's like asking if extra bacon in a dish is warranted?

That bacon looks delicious.

Don't get me wrong - I'm all for asses, but I thought Natalie's exposure was unnecessary. In fact, though I actually really love the feel of the whole "Hotel Chevalier" short, I think that the studios made the right decision not to show the short before the feature initially. I don't think that it is critical to the Darjeeling story (its contents are maybe richer as simply allusions in the feature), and there's almost something more fun to me about having had to download the short prior to going to the theater. There was a thrill to the vulgarity of Chevalier - something you don't usually expect from Anderson - but I don't think it was a key part of Darjeeling, which I liked much more than I was expecting. Plus, I hesitate to say this, but Natalie's butt just didn't look as hot as I imagine it. One of those de-glamorizing filmic moments for me.

It looked pretty good to me, but I agree, they didn't need to screen it before the film. I heard that the film had previewed poorly, so the studio decided to screen the short first, because it had done so well on the festival circuit.

But I couldn't help feeling they were like, "We've got a shit film. People hate it, what can we do?"

And somebody on coke responded: "Portmanbutt!"

*SOB* LEAVE NATALIE PORTMAN ALONE *SOB* !!!!

Saw the film with the bumper up front (no pun intended) and I couldn't imagine seeing the film without it. It set the pace and mood of the film, and while it didn't add much backstory, it gave crucial insight into the mindset of Schwartzman's character.

What did audiences who didn't see Hotel Chevalier make of the extended shot in the train that glanced over Portman? Or the iPod joke? Or the short story at the end?

Nobody really NEEDS an ass, except that that jokester, our Creator, decided that we needed to poop out of something and that our ears were two narrow and that the filth would land on our shoulders rather than where He intended: on Mother Earth. Anyway, I've always liked Natalie Portman and was not totally satisfied with her stripper costume in Closer (a "closer" being the salesman to whom lesser salesmen send intransigent and penny-pinching customers). Anyway, now I've finally seen her whole ass and not just part of her ass cheeks and I can die and go to burn in Hell a happy man.

"It gave crucial insight into the mindset of Schwartzman's character..."

Did it bollocks! Ned, you are deluding yourself. It gave crucial insight into the mindset of Natalie Portman's Harvard-educated butt. That's all. The "iPod joke," while we're on it, was Anderson substituting the superior writing of Peter Sarstedt for effort of his own. It wasn't funny, so much as lazy. Something we would never do here at the Mercury (rely on the creative efforts of others to generate content, I mean). Now, here's the Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QqLH2Sjatn0

Where do you go to my lovely?
When you're alone in your bed?
Tell me the thoughts that surround you,
I want to look inside your head...

Where do you go to Natalie?
When your ankles are wrapped round your head?
Tell me the cash that surrounds you
For implying you meant what you said...
to get ahead...a ha ha ha ha...

Okay, so that was more tragic. But it was at least derivative, if not original.

"Anyway, now I've finally seen Natalie's entire whole ass and not just part of her ass cheeks and I can die and go to burn in Hell a happy man."

This reminds me, in reverse, Jeremiah, of something Marjorie Skinner said yesterday. Apparently somebody once insulted the Mercury's female staff by writing a letter to the editor about a photo of them in the "date with the girls" part of our charity issue, saying: "I wouldn't fuck you if you were holding the cure for baldness in one hand, a pound of cocaine in the other, and standing on a mountain of cheeseburgers."

Ouch. Natalie Portman's butt clearly inspires the opposite reaction in cinemagoers like yourself. But that doesn't change the fact that Wes Anderson is a rich kid who only knows what it's like to be from a rich family full of fuck-ups, surrounded by rich friends who'll do anything for him because they know it's going to rub off. Portman's butt-baring is nothing more than cinematic prostitution to Anderson and I both condemn and am impressed by, her, for rising to the challenge. [sigh]

So nice to see a non-digitally-enhanced ass for once. The tiny, hot waif Portman's bit of cellulite is a necessary reminder that 90something% of all girls have cellulite, and it don't make them any less hot!