Pfft. Guitar Hero is so old and boring. The “new hotness,” as the kids say, is Rock Band, where you not only get to pretend to play guitar, but you also get to pretend to play drums and sing! Why, it’ll be just like you and your lazy friends had the ambition and time to commit to learning real instruments—except instead, you’ll just get drunk and pound on a bunch of plastic ones! (Obviously, this is so much better than being in a real band, for a whole slew of reasons—not only will you not suck, unlike roughly 98 percent of real bands, but you’ll also avoid common pratfalls that plague almost all “real” musicians, such as snapped strings, missed gigs, inter-band drama, Yoko Ono, and aggressive strains of herpes.)

But if you don’t have a copy of Rock Band—or if you don’t have the friends to play it with because you were such an arrogant jackass when you all played Halo 3 that one time—you’re in luck. We just got an email from the kind folks at Ground Kontrol, who’re having a Rock Band release party tonight:

Rock Band is the most awesome combination of music and gaming since… well, since Ground Kontrol installed a rock stage and became the only arcade-slash-live music venue on the planet. That’s just our opinion, but there’s no denying it’s a great place for you to get first crack at the most anticipated music videogame of the year.

That’s right, we’re hosting a Rock Band release party and YOU are invited. Take your pick of drums, lead guitar, bass, or mic on stage in front of a projection screen. Add show lighting, vocal and instrument monitors, and mic and guitar stands, and you have the ultimate rock star experience.

Form a band with your friends, jump into a pickup group on the spot, or simply wave your cell phone during the power ballads… just be there, and be ready to ROCK!

Should be fun. Tonight at 9 pm at Ground Kontrol (511 NW Couch). Oh, and shit—it also sounds Ground Kontrol just got Konami’s arcade version of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in, too, so if you feel like taking a break between rock numbers, you and your pals can go after those assholes Be-Bop and Rock-Steady instead. Man, I hate those guys.