Live from the Bethlehem Manger Rose Garden, as the Portland Trail Blazers take on the Seattle SuperSonics. Which team will ball the best on the birth of baby Jesus?

Let’s find out…

Pre-Game:
Since today is a rare Christmas game, the first one at home for the Blazers in 22 years, I feel the need to make some predictions...

Things that will happen today:
The Blazer Girls will do a creepy dance in "naughty Santa" attire to either "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus," "Santa Baby," or a hiphop-infused "Jingle Bell Rock." The crowd will love it.

Robert Swift will give somebody, it could be anyone, really, an erotic massage.

The Blazers will win.

Those are my predictions. The Blazer Girls and Robert Swift ones are complete locks, but after reeling off 10 straight wins, I suppose a Blazers win looks pretty likely as well. Speaking of ten straight victories, the Red & Black love them some Christmas, as the team has won their last ten games played on December 25th. Oh, and Seattle? They are 0-10 on Christmas (yet unbeaten on Arbor Day).

First Quarter:
9:49 - Martell Webster with the steal and he's fouled hard on the breakaway. Speaking of Martell and stealing, he doesn't do it. Hey look, it's a baseball score: 3-1 Portland.

5:18 - So far, so sluggish, but Webster downs a three, yet back come the Sonics and a quick layup by that one guy who Portland refused to draft. 11-10 Seattle.

4:02 - Brandon Roy with a highlight dunk. Someone must have used that time out to tell him this game is nationally televised on ESPN. 14 up, it's a tie game.

2:22 - Wally Szczerbiak you are an UNSTOPPABLE FORCE OF GOD! That is a quick ten points for Wally, someone get Bruce Bowen out here to kick him. Hard. In the face. 22-18 Seattle.

0:59 - Sergio Rodriguez, between the legs, and finishing with a delicate finger roll. ¡Dios Mío! 24 up.

Second Quarter:
Can I take a moment to say how much I adore Squatch? When the Sonics relocate to Oklahoma City next season, I expect a mascot trade. They can take Blaze, and I demand we get the Sasquatch. After all, everyone knows that the real Sasquatch is from Oregon. I think.

9:14 - James Jones with a highlight play, and it's not a three pointer (for once). Instead he dunks it, thanks to a spectacular pass from Rodriguez. 30-26 Blazers.

7:59 - The Blazer Girls are now dancing to "Jingle Bell Rock" while wearing "naughty Santa" outfits. Dearest readers, I am the live blog Nostradmous. Love me, fear me.

6:26 - Wally Szczerbiak is our new lord! That's 15 for Wally World. 34-31 Portland.

4:38 - James Jones for three! Boom! Someone buy that man a Starbucks frappuccino! Stumptown 41, Emerald City 36.

2:07 - LaMarcus Aldridge has yet to score a single point, and still the Blazers are holding in down, 44-40 Portland.

0:00 - And at the half, the Blazers are up 46-44. What's that? A gospel halftime show? Time for me to get out of press row, now. They serve spiked egg soy nog at the concession stand, right?

Third Quarter:
The Blazers should consider themselves lucky. They are shooting 38% from the field, LaMarcus Aldridge has scored a big fat zero points, Brandon Roy is 2 of 11 shooting, and their leading scorer is their backup point guard (Jarret Jack, 12 points), yet still they are winning.

9:35 - Portland has missed five straight shots from three-point land. Ouch. But hey, speaking of Xmas and the Blazers, ever notice the old school Blazers jacket in the video for Run DMC's "Christmas In Hollis"? 48-46 Blazers.

6:18 - Fast break bucket coming 'attacha. Steve Blake with the finish from a Brandon Roy feed and the Sonics are forced to call a timeout. 58-50 home team.

4:30 - Oh shit! Brandon Roy dives into the stands to save a loose ball, recovers, then gets the ball back and knocks down a three! Seattle better get His Holiness Wally Szczerbiak off the bench ASAP. 66-50 Portland with a comfy lead.

1:46 - Jarret Jack to the rim for a layup... he's swatted into the seats. Ouch. Good thing no one is watching. Unless of course you count ESPN, KGW and the sold out crowd. And Wally Szczerbiak as well, but he knows all and sees all. 68-56 Blzrs.

0:00 - 70-62 Blazers, 12 minutes left and 11 wins on the line...

Fourth Quarter:
9:19 - Travis Outlaw with a pretty turnaround jumper, but guess who answers? Wally Fucking Szczerbiak, that's who. 74-68 Portland.

7:28 - While Seattle is closing the gap, they need more fire power. Time to bring this pretty girl into the game. Carrot Top, is that you? 76-68 Blazers.

5:09 - James Jones for three points, and just when Portland is going to put this hame away for good, the lord himself, Wally Goddamn Fucking Szczerbiak, hits another three pointer. 83-72 Blazers.

2:35 - 'Lil Earl Watson gets fouled and then a dodgeball game breaks out. He pegs Joel Przybilla in the back with the ball, and for that, he gets a technical foul. "Nobody makes me bleed my own blood - nobody!" 85-73 Average Joe's Gym.

2:11 - Looks like the Blazers work is done here. Jarrett Jack for a long three in the corner and it's 89-75 P-Town.

0:00 - Folks, that is 11 games in a row! Despite the best efforts of one dude named Szczerbiak, the Blazers win again, 89-79.