In lieu of my normal Christmas activities (baking a cake for Jesus, crying a lot), this year I’ve decided to post my favorite Christmas songs—one a day, all the way until the 25th. While you might not get music as great as this, these songs sure beat all the lousy gifts you’ll have to pretend to like.

Oh, boo-hoo, I didn’t get that Nintendo Wii for Christmas!

And I don’t care what Dolly Fuckin’ Parton has to say about her “Hard Candy Christmas.” Really, Apple Wine? What is that? They serve that at Dollywood? I’m all for your brand of homespun optimism and being “fine and dandy,” but Dolly, my dear, you don’t know what you’re singing about. They didn’t have Nintedo back then. And this was a freaking Wii, and I was supposed to get it.

Life sucks.

MP3:
Dolly Parton - Hard Candy Christmas