I don't really understand how that thing's supposed to work.

Louise

The only thing that can ruin the moment worse than fumbling for the condom is saying that: "I don't really understand how that thing's supposed to work."

Trust me.

So, now it's just in a little metal dispenser thingy instead of the regular cardboard box? What am I missing here? The condom is still in a wrapper, right? And it's still rolled up, right? So Alison, you and your guy are still going to be fumbling around... unless this dispenser has the ability to unwrap, unfurl, and affix all by itself. Which, yes, would be pretty damn cool.

Naw, the biggest bonus is that the dispenser thingy allows you to keep them handy while also disguising them, so you (or, me, rather) don't have to feel like a big ho for having a bunch of condoms lying on your nightstand. Some other container would work just as well, though, I guess.

why on earth would condoms by your bed indicate you are a ho? doesn't it just mean you are a responsible adult?

Of course it does. But um, my parents come over a lot. You know?

Is there not a big penis shape on the box? I am missing the disguise. I agree, I don't want to be the girl with a big ole box of condoms on my nightstand but I also don't want to be the girl with a big penis shape box on my nightstand either.

I am embarrassed to admit that I did not recognize that shape as a penis. I withdraw my support for the condom dispenser thingy.

gotcha. my parents kept a bowl of condoms on the toilet in the bathroom when I turned 16 so yeah I guess I didn't think about that aspect. my friends would come over to "use the bathroom" a lot.

a (non-penis-shape-bearing) dispenser might keep condoms away from my cat, who once grabbed a wrapped condom from their current resting place on the floor behind the bed and then ran toward the door with it in his mouth when he heard a knock. (he was apprehended in the nick of time.)

or maybe a dispenser would just make condoms that much more entertaining to him.

First, the dispenser is not shaped like a penis, it is shaped like a condom - which is in turn penis-shaped for purely pragmatic reasons.

Second, it's spring loaded. One merely separates the condoms and loads them into the dispenser individually. When a condom is needed, simply pull one from the top, the next condom will rise up (er) pez style (oh, oh dear.)

Lastly, my girlfriend bought me one some months ago. We love it. Highly recommended.