Looking for a way to scar your baby’s emotional well being—perhaps for life? Then look no further than this new product called the Zaky Infant Pillow: Two disembodied hands that comfort your child while it sleeps. Of course when she wakes up, she’ll naturally assume her mother’s hands have been chopped off and spend the rest of her life in therapy. Only $38.95!

Zaky: It’s Like Leaving a Part of You with Your Baby. (I’m not making this up… that’s the actual tagline!)