1.PUTINTASTIC!! The future Russian President, Dmitri A.Medvedev, will pick Vladimir Putin as his Prime Minister. Then, Medvedev will hollow out his body and cut it in half, allowing Putin to climb inside.
RUSSIA: NEW LEADERSHIP STRUCTURE…

2.SEND ‘EM TO HARVARD!! The elite thinking man’s university decides to give financial aid to those with household incomes of between $120-$180k a year—whom it’s describing as the “middle class.” Which would make me what, exactly? An untouchable? Fortunately, Matthew Charles jr.’s college is now only going to cost 10% of our household income, not $46,500 a year. Although I was hoping to send the boy to Yale.

3.REPUBLICANS!! A poll reveals voters aren’t impressed with the GOP’s current field of Presidential candidates. Which is odd, because I’d be quite happy with a Mormon like Romney, or someone who said in the late nineties, “we’ve got to take this country back for Jesus” (Huckabee), or Giuliani—who seems to have built his reputation on turning New York into a film set of itself, and pretending to give a shit about firefighters. Remind me of the others, again?

4.ALGERIA!! Speaking of firefighters, 11ths of the month, and the Republican administration’s tremendous success in diffusing the effectiveness of those behind such things, Al Qaeda killed at least 45 people in two bombings in Algeria this morning. Still, fuck ‘em…there are elections to think about.

5.ZEPPELIN!! Re-unite in London. From the NYT:

Unlike Mick Jagger, Mr. Plant — the youngest of the original members, at 59 — doesn’t walk and gesture like an excited woman anymore.

Good day.