Are American soldiers being strongly encouraged to become fundamentalist Christians? Hey, whatever helps them kill people better!

Time magazine names Vladimir Putin as their Rooskie… excuse me… “Person” of the Year.

A new “eco-boat” has been designed to run off of human fat. And Jennifer Love Hewitt has volunteered to help it break a speed record. I KID! I KID! She’s not fat. She just looks fat because she’s pregnant.

Britney Spears’ 16-year-old sister Jamie Lynn has confirmed that she is also pregnant (proving once again you can take the hillbilly out of Louisiana, but you can’t take the Louisiana out of the hillbilly).

Oh, and Lilly Allen is pregnant, too. Are talentless performers extra fertile this month?