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Friday, December 28, 2007

Mercury Great Things About Britain No.6: Imports

Posted by Matt Davis on Fri, Dec 28 at 6:48 AM

I was going to blog about seeing Ian McKellen’s penis in King Lear on Drury Lane last night, but frankly, I’m speechless. Let’s just say Shakespeare had some foresight when he wrote the line: “I am every inch a king.”

Also, I have more important things to think about than my own insecurities. Such as packing. And my, what a fruitful trip to Waitrose it was this morning. Here’s the haul of marvelous products one is only able to get here, or at vast expense in the US (before y’all say “you can get Cadbury’s at Cost Plus World Market, I mean):IMG_0401.jpg
IMPORTS: Britain’s finest…

So, roughly clockwise, from top left. Beginning, of course, with the biscuits:

a)8 Jacob’s Orange Club biscuits. The Club is the Mini Cooper of biscuits.
b)Box Cadbury’s 99 Flake chocolate. For sticking into vanilla ice cream.
c)Assorted Milka/Green & Blacks organic chocolate. Because it’s like, 99p a bar here.
d)Bath Oliver cheese biscuits. Better than any Water Table Crackers you can find.
e)Box Hob Nobs—more biscuits, great with tea.
f)Box Plain Chocolate Digestives—also great with tea.
f2) Lyle’s Golden Syrup sponge cake. No words can describe its godliness.
g)Cadburys Dairy Milk Buttons, Dairy Milk and Fruit & Nut bars. It seems they make them with less sugar than the fake ones you can get in the US. Either that or I’m just placebo’d by purchasing them here. The taste of kiddie-hood.
h)McVitie’s Jaffa Cakes. If you haven’t had one, you should pay me $5 to try one. They’re sublime. Orange jelly on a sponge base, covered in dark chocolate.
i)Rooibos caffeine free tea. Er…
j)Heinz Baked Beans. Of course.
k)Mint and Teatree shower gel—they don’t make this brand in the US, but it’s the most invigorating wake-up shower I’ve ever experienced.
l)3 jars Tiptree jam: Rhubarb and Ginger, Black Currant & ‘Sweet Tip’ Raspberry. Jam is about so much more than fruit in a jar. It’s about manufacturing, labeling, sweet balanced with sour, and of course, CLASS.
m)HP Sauce—Brown sauce named after the houses of parliament. Amazing with sausages.
n)Waitrose Korma sauce—see last “Great things…” post about curry.
o)Jar roasted chestnuts. Not sure why I bought these.
p)Waitrose English Breakfast tea. Speaks for itself.
q)Twinings Lapsang Souchong tea. Is cheap and smoky and I like this brand.
r)Twinings Echinacea and Raspberry tea. Because they’d run out of blackcurrant, ginseng and vanilla. As they always do. Every time I try to buy it.

Let’s hope it all survives the plane ride—especially the korma sauce. But just in case: Does anybody know a good dry cleaner?

Comments

(b) Flake's nasty, though it might be passable in ice cream. (c) Can you really not get a Milka bar for $2 stateside? They're not that good. (h) Jaffa Cakes sound like Le Pim's, which come in several other flavo(u)rs like raspberry or pear. Regardless, Le Pim's are pretty tasty.

Come back soon. All the muck has fallen off the trees and is littering the yard.

Freddie's on hawthorne has a whole 5 shelves of british stuff, I think it's permanent. Heinz baked beans, HP, rich tea biccies and chocolate digestives. All pretty cheap.

please pick up some branston pickle for me!

What is this "tea" thing you keep mentioning?

Damn it. When I said "Cost Plus" I meant "any Portland store that has British imports." There's nothing more frustrating than spending half an afternoon sitting on the lid of your suitcase, only to be told the effort was a complete waste of time. The milka comes with me, and that's the end of it.


Tea is the british substitute for Xa nax Ned. I had to write it as two words, because the comment filter was going to pull it out. It should pull out "tea" aswell. Both are equally effective sedatives, apart from the caffeine. I'm off to have a cup.

What, no love for Jelly Babies? So full of sugary goodness, it's no wonder we all have bad teeth.

Pims are to Jaffa Cakes what Monica Lewinsky is to Angelina Jolie.

Someone at work came to halloween dressed as Tom Baker Dr Who, jelly babies and all. no-one could eat more than one of them (something about the texture, shrug), and I ended up with three bags on my desk. Score.

Freddie's has them too.

//but I only want fruit gums.

What about lion bars or REAL Kit kats? I've only seen them at an extremely high price at Dean and Deluca in NYC.

HP sauce is so good.

Majestic Cleaners on 39th and Sandy. Been going there for years, and with one exception, never gave them a stain they couldn't get out.

HP sauce is so good.

Majestic Cleaners on 39th and Sandy. Been going there for years, and with one exception, never gave them a stain they couldn't get out.

Hob Nobs are the single (and only?) greatest contribution the Brits have made to global cuisine. Love. Them.

(And I hate tea. A one-sided chocolate Hob Nob needs no tea.)

You're right, Jon. Tea with a hobnob is almost sacrilege. Almost. And Jelly Babies are a good addition to the "bring this over when you come next time" parental list, Stu. So thanks! I wish I'd thought of them—or perhaps they don't sell them in Waitrose...?

Lastly, what's this of "real" KitKats? I was about to buy some Kitkats when my wife said "no, they have them in the States." Was I underhandedly misled? Was her statement grossly ill conceived? Have I just missed out on the only true opportunity to Kit Kat I'm going to get in the near future? If so, the blame culture starts here.

Jaffa Cakes! Club biscuits! Black currant!
I lived in Dublin for a few years, which was long enough to get hooked on just about everything in your photograph (and a few things that aren't... curry chips in a steaming tin after the pub or a tub of HB Ice Cream, for example).

Returning to America, I was initially thrilled to have things like Mexican food and Mac & Cheese back in my life, but there is still a hole.

...as my psychotherapist is constantly reminding me.

"There is still a hole, Matt. There...is...still...a hole..."

what no ground and pasted vegetables to spread on toast?
thanks
Patrick

Your wife is also your psychotherapist?

Don't forget to tip your wait staff.

The Scottish shop on Powell has Jaffa Cakes but they're about $5 a box. I was eating Pims for a while (cheaper and more available) but I found a place to get the "real" thing.

love me some HP sauce---discovered it at Limey's at the Saturday Market, delicious on their roasted potatoes

where the hell are the kinder happy hippo's!!!???

Kit Kats in the USA are produced by Hershey. Kit Kats in the EU are produced by Nestle and thus stay true to European standards of chocolate, there is actually a discernable taste difference.

Here is an article for you--

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/07/11/dining/11cand.html

God damn it. I'm on the next flight back.

"true to European standards of chocolate"

you've never actually tried cadbury's chocolate, have you michelle?

That korma sauce is good. A few years ago I was recruited to cook at my wife's Irish family reunion and her aunt had two jars in her pantry, and I was able to scrimp together chicken/tofu korma with basmati rice that was surprisingly serviceable.

My cupboard right now is full of Hob Nobs, Cadbury fruit-and-nut bars, Flake, Buttons, Crunchies, and - my favorite - Aero Bars, thx to your yearly Xmas care package from the Aunt.

We used to order from FoodIreland.com, but many of the candy items have appeared at Cost Plus. I wonder if Freddie's on Hawthorne has catsup-flavored crisps, which I'm seriously jonesing for.

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