ZZZZZZ… Snort! HUH?? WHAAA?? Hey, I just woke up and realized… OMG! The Mercury Online Charity Auction Ends TODAY At 4 pm!!!

QUICK!! Jump over to this page and see if you’ve been outbid on the greatest gifts anyone could receive this holiday season!

QUICK!! If you haven’t placed a bid on anything yet, what are you waiting for? All the proceeds go to help the super awesome SISTERS OF THE ROAD nonprofit, which supports and feeds Portland’s homeless—and without any governmental help! Please bid generously!

QUICK!! And be sure to check back in around 3 pm, because that’s when the last bidders will be jumping in, and trying to steal your sweet prize away from you—and who can blame them? IT’S FOR CHARITY!

That’s the Mercury Online Charity Auction, and it all ends today at 4 pm! So get off your booty and Bid, BID, BID!!!

And once again, thanks to all our fantastic and charitable auction donors! Yer a peach!