Pepper spray is only really dangerous if you get tazered right afterwards, in which case you may go up in flames.
For real.

Paying a fee to be given permission to hurt someone is wrong. Being asked to pay so that some sicko isn't given permission to hurt someone is wrong. Fundraising by threatening to hurt someone is wrong... perhaps especially wrong, when people served by the recipient organization have been threatened and hurt more than most in their lives.

So no, I'm not going to bid on your auction, Matt.

Here's my counter-challenge:

I, and others who agree your auction item sucks, will donate to Sisters of the Road via the Willamette Week Give!Guide, noting in the "in honor of..." space it's for "Responsible Fundraising". If together the Responsible Fundraising donors collectively give more to Sisters of the Road than the final price of your auction, will you tell the winning bidder the deal's off?

"Paying a fee to be given permission to hurt someone is wrong."

Shoot. And I thought Amanda and I would be ideological soul mates on the council.

You better hope she out bids me, Matt, or else you will be left to the mercy of my Scottish ancestral genes.

Hah... how about a real challenge? Like an apple on the head and a crossbow?

Really though Matt. Don't do it. It will ruin your hair.

And watch it if Randy wins... make sure he really isn't pulling a can of Krylon.

Amanda is full of sh....

OC spray won't hurt you very much, a few minutes of moderate pain is all. It's really no big deal.

I'd pay to spray Amanda though...god help Portland if she gets on the council. The cops will have to hand criminals lolly pops instead of arresting them if she has her way!

MD:

Since you only bought me one drink (ok, I appreciated it) at Tear Drop rather than several, I am currently raising funds to spray you.

I haven't been able spray any Europeans since NYE 95, so I look forward to the experience. Plus, the picture you are using really sells it.

best, Julian

If Dave Lister or his buddy Jack Bogdanski were charitable enough to put themselves in the auction for the pepper spray treatment that could raise some real cash.

That's right, Amanda… run off to the WW like the rest of the grandmas. Fact is, you don't know for sure if the person who won would even spray him in the face. The Merc is just trying to have a little fun. So why don't you loosen up and have some faith in humanity?

Easy there, everybody. Hey Amanda, I'm more than happy if you donate your money to Sisters via the Willamette Week—as long as this great charity gets its money, I couldn't give two poops how it gets there. HOWEVER! At this moment, I'm more curious about why you're so interested in Matt's safety… a little TOO interested if you ask me. You know he's married, right?

Amanda and Matt… sittin' in a tree…
K
I
S
S
I
N
G
!

I'm pretty sure that most police in training get pepper sprayed as apart of said training. You'll be fine.

And to Amanda: Most everyone gets paid to do painful things. It's called having a career.

Geez Jerry, haven't you heard? Everybody loves me.

Not having a sense of humor is wrong.

PS: Casey = touche

It's not that bad Matt, I got a pretty bad taste of it once. It was the final four, people were burning cars, police were everywhere in riot gear... Wrong place at the wrong time. Michigan sports fans are poor sports! Just remember to flush your eyes with cold water and then grab yourself a drink.

Big news: Amanda Fritz fancies me—like everyone else ON THE PLANET.

But hey, she's only human. Whether Ms.Fritz or someone else with less scruples—and hey, was I the only one who couldn't understand a word of that process she explained about the Willamette Week?!?—there's no way I'm EVER going to get pepper-sprayed in the face. Because some generous benefactor (who also fancies me, just like you, and you, and you...aaaand...YOU) is bound to pitch in. I have absolute confidence.

Although Randy Leonard did just tell me he's considering stretching to $300 for some kind of Celtic, wode-painted revenge on the English for what we did to Scotland centuries back.My wife, who claims to be Scottish despite having grown up in Rochester, New York, is also interested in some of this Braveheart action.

Get over it, Scotland! You lost! Stick that in your "freedom."

"Scottish ancestral genes" whoa Randy are you implying that Scots are prone to violence because its in their DNA!?!?

GL-
Yes.