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Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Charity Auction Wedding Bells are Ringing!
Posted by on Tue, Dec 11 at 10:26 AM
Are you getting married this year? How about a friend? Then you already know how wicked expensive getting hitched can be. Now you can save a huge chunk of your wedding budget by bidding on “YOUR PERFECT WEDDING” in the Mercury’s Online Charity Auction! Check out everything that’s included!
Mercury Editor and legally registered Minister Wm. Steven Humphrey (that’s me) will preside over your wedding, writing and reciting a sweet, romantic ceremony (without all the annoying Jesus and misogyny stuff). Plus you’ll receive an adorably sexy black panty and bra set, with moisturizer and spa bath from the posh local girly shop Lille Botique (1007 E Burnside). On top of that? One delicious sheet wedding cake provided by fantastic local bakery Blue Gardenia (3747 N Mississippi); $100 worth of gorgeous flowers from gorgeous flower purveyor Quince Flowers & Events (1614 NW 15th Ave); AND a one-of-a-kind wedding dress (size 4) designed by Frocky Jack Morgan (inside Flutter, 3948 N Mississippi). This great package is worth over $1,000, so bid generously!
Whaaaa??? NOW ALL YOU NEED IS A MAN! Tell your soon-to-be-wedded friends to hit this sucker up quick. Right now, the bidding is only at $115… which is a goddamn STEAL! (And remember, all proceeds go to help feed the homeless via Sisters of the Road, and bidding ends this FRIDAY, Dec 14 at 4 pm.) I now pronounce you thrifty and wise!
Comments
Hey, thanks for your comment. While the dress is a size 4 (that's the donation this business decided to give, and they're being generous, so don't be a dick), you can have it altered up somewhat. Or, better yet, sell it on eBay and make all your money back!
I wonder if Reader is even interested in bidding on the item or was he/she just doing the rounds making sure every item on the internet didn't discriminate.
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How come that wedding dress only comes in size 4? Who the hell is a size 4? Or is this without the Jesus and the misogyny but with the starving-yourself-to-fit-into-your-dress sort of traditional wedding?