Here’s a picture of Nicolas Cage and his skeevy buddies looking at filthy, illegal, and morally reprehensible pornography.

Yes, that’s just one of the many exhilarating scenes in National Treasure: Book of Secrets. Speaking of which: Lindy West’s web-exclusive review of the film is now online. The short version:

Before the screening of National Treasure: Book of Secrets had even started, a dude a few seats away from me announced to no one in particular: “This is like The Da Vinci Code meets Indiana Jones!” Great point, dude! He’s sort of right, though—it is like The Da Vinci Code in that Nicolas Cage is wearing Tom Hanks’ exact terrible hairpiece. And it’s like Indiana Jones in that it’s a shitty rip-off of Indiana Jones. But if it were up to me to construct a pointless, mega-clichéd analogy to sum up this movie, I’d say it’s more like doodoo meets feces meets The Goonies meets old people. Meets the Library of Congress. Also, it’s the best movie I’ve ever seen, or I’m not Calvin “Fucking” Coolidge. (Wait, I’m not.)

Due to the kabillion movies opening for Xmas—from Sweeney Todd to Walk Hard to Kurt Cobain About a Son—this week’s film section is the biggest we’ve had in a while. I’d link to all of the reviews individually, but, as stated above, there are a kabillion of them, and as you likely know by now, fuck, am I ever lazy! So just go here already.