When we asked him last week if he was considering a run, Erik Sten’s chief of staff Jim Middaugh said he wasn’t.

But he’s spent the past few days calling his friends and political allies, seeing if there’s support for a quick-and-dirty bid to become a clean money candidate (he’d have three weeks to collect 1,000 $5 contributions and signatures; It took Sten two months to do that in 2006, and the form was much simpler then).

What he’s heard has been encouraging, Middaugh says. He’ll make an official decision by Monday, but as of right now he’s leaning toward fighting for his boss’ seat, to carry the torch on issues of affordable housing and climate change.

“It’s fun and exciting to think about,” Middaugh says. “Certainly nothing I’ve been planning.”

Here’s more on Middaugh from his staff bio:

Jim previously was the City’s Science, Fish & Wildlife Program Manager — making him responsible for leading Portland’s response to the Endangered Species Act. Prior to joining the City, Jim was public affairs manager for the Pacific Northwest Power and Conservation Council. He has also been a staff member for Oregon Congressmen Peter DeFazio and Jim Weaver. Jim holds a bachelor’s degree in journalism from the University of Oregon.

Would he pull a Dozono, and opt not to run if he couldn’t conjure up the 1,000 signatures and contributions by January 31 (as mayoral candidate Sho Dozono has pledged)? Middaugh says he’s not ruling anything out, or ruling anything in at this point.

If Middaugh does run, he’ll be competing against another chief of staff—Brendan Finn, who works for Commissioner Dan Saltzman.

I’m here at the Rebooting Democracy conference, listening to U.S. Senate candidate Steve Novick moderate a “Policy Battle Royale,” wherein progressive groups each get a minute to pitch the policy they’re planning to push in 2008, in the hopes that the hundreds of people here at the conference will throw their time, money and energy toward the effort. We’ll end up with one “winner” that people will be asked to commit to.

Here’s what on the table:

Building livable communities and protecting farm land: A campaign to protect our best farm and forest land while also managing growth through the designation of urban and rural reserves.

Carbon Tax: A tax on carbon use intended to curtail greenhouse gas emissions and the use of nonrenewable resources while also stabilizing Oregon’s revenue stream.

Climate Change Package: A comprehensive program for reducing Oregon’s global warming pollution and building statewide consensus for such efforts. Includes participation in the Western Climate Initiative and development of a carbon-friendly transportation package.

Fighting the Expansion of Mandatory Minimums: The campaign to stop Initiative Petition 40, which would create a new set of mandatory minimum sentences for drug and property-related crimes at a projected at over $400 million a biennium.

Fusion Voting: Calls for statutory change allowing candidates to appear on a ballot as the nominee of more than one party.

Green Building: Calls for all state-owned buildings to be built and/or renovated with green building standards, as well as for a campaign encouraging green building in the private sector.

Health Insurance for Young Adults: Requires health insurance companies to keep adult children up to the age of 30 on their parents’ health insurance policies. Allows for but limits increases in premiums to cover those adult children.

The HOPE Initiative: A constitutional amendment stating that every Oregonian has the right to affordable and effective health care.

Informed Growth Act: Requires environmental and economic impact analysis to be conducted on large “big box” retail establishments, giving local communities more power over the placement of such developments.

Meeting the Challenge of Autism: A two year effort to raise public awareness, document needs, develop strategy, and organize grassroots support for legislation during the 2009 Legislative session in order to provide effective care, treatment and education for autistic kids.

Open Primary: Allows voters to choose any one candidate, regardless of their political party affiliation, for each office during the May primary. The top two finishers in the primary, regardless of political party, move on to the November election.

Pro-Government Campaign: An effort to reverse the widespread distrust of Oregon government through the collaboration of various progressive organizations in a media and messaging campaign.

Real-Estate Transfer Taxes: A tax on the value of a piece of property when real estate is bought or sold. The revenue from this tax would go toward affordable housing and for setting aside areas for habitat and land conservation.

Real ID Repeal Campaign: A coordinated effort to lobby both federal and state lawmakers in order to avoid the adoption of Real ID requirements here in Oregon and to repeal it nationally.

Same Day Voter Registration: A constitutional amendment allowing individuals to register to vote up to and on Election Day.

Teacher Mentoring: Establishes a statewide program ensuring that all new teachers and administrators have a mentor.

Voter Owned Elections: Sets up a system of public financing for campaigns for state offices.

In other news, city council candidate Charles Lewis’ campaign manager Travis Huntington is running around doing A/V for the conference, but he found a few minutes to send out this announcement:

City Commissioner Candidate Charles Lewis’ collects 1,000 signatures and contributions and counting…

In the first week of the New Year, Charles Lewis and his small army of dedicated volunteers have hit the mark and then some. As of Monday, January 7th Friends of Charles Lewis have collected over 1,000 signatures and contributions placing Charles in line to be the second qualifying candidate of the Voter Owned Elections process.

When asked how he felt about this latest accomplishment, Charles replied, “I feel very fortunate to have the support of so many volunteers and neighbors.” And although Charles’ campaign has reached the needed amount to qualify, Charles will continue to accept signatures and contributions up until the deadline. “I’m looking forward to focusing on building an open and effective platform that reflects the needs of all Portlanders. Thank you, Portland, for your support. Now let’s get to work.”

And don’t forget: Tonight the conference is open to anybody—come check out performances by the Shaky Hands and DJ Beyonda, with Dan Savage!

Following last week’s alleged anti-Arab discrimination, today I bring you a couple attempting to sue THE LORD. Fortunately, the usual caveats about these being “allegations and not facts” don’t really apply. Although you may wish to consider the allegations themselves as blasphemy. But that’s totally your call…

GOD: IN THE DOCK…

Well, not the Lord and savior, Jesus Christ, specifically. But God in the general sense, in his almightiness, and for “acting.” Specifically, for sending a hurricane to Astoria. This lawsuit, brought by Betty Becker and Gary Whitney, owners of the yacht American Dream, has no defendant, specifically (other than God). It is, in fact, a procedure under maritime law seeking to limit Becker and Whitney’s liability for damage done to other yachts allegedly by the American Dream during a hurricane in Astoria harbor on December 3, 2007:

The severe storm caused a number of boats in the Mooring Basin, including American Dream, to break loose from their moorings. After breaking loose, American Dream was blown through the Mooring Basin and in doing so, allegedly came in contact with the following vessels: Cindy Sue, Orion, Dhochas, She’s A Lady, Moonshadow, Andante, Fairanne and the work boat Sentinel, before coming to rest on the Mooring Basin’s T-dock.

Great names, eh? I like She’s A Lady the best—reminds me of Tom Jones. But here’s the point:

The incident was not caused or contributed to in any manner by any fault, neglect or want of due care of plaintiffs or either of them, and was entirely occasioned without the privity and knowledge of plaintiffs.

In other words, they tied the boat down.

The incident and damages described herein were rather caused by the fault, negligence or want of due care of others and/or by vis major in that the storm was of unexpectedly catastrophic proportions and the accident could not have been avoided by human skill or prudence.

Vis major is Latin for a “superior force,” or act of God—and seeks to hold him (the Lord) financially responsible. The lawsuit seeks an injunction protecting American Dream from lawsuits brought by the owners of the other yachts, and a limit on American Dream’s ultimate liability. After the accident, the American Dream is estimated to be worth $475,000, and under maritime law, Becker and Whitney are seeking to limit their total liability to that amount by filing the suit. That’s assuming any of those other eight yacht owners are able to establish any legitimate claim against them over the coming months.

I don’t know about you, but I’d have loved to have seen that accident: A $475,000 yacht plowing into eight other yachts before crashing into the harbor? I’d imagine it looked less like the American Dream than burning money. Then again, perhaps they’re synonymous.

I’m still feeling the pain of last night’s drinking/dancing at I’ve Got a Hole in My Soul at Rotture—but it was well worth it!

The dance floor was empty until 10:30, when it suddenly filled up in the time it took to make a phone call (and kudos to you, blond girl with glasses, for having the guts to dance all alone for half an hour while everyone else filled up on drink, kudos).

It was a great scene of wild-dancing young folks all dressed up in retro threads. And they weren’t playing sad soulful soul, but fast-past dance-yourself-to-happiness soul.

The place was packed—in fact, now that I think about it—all you chics should stay the fuck away from Soul Night—there’s too many of you already! However, any hot guys reading this should definitely come. And buy me a drink.

-Jennifer Furniss

Filmmaker Guillermo Arriaga has had his hand in some very fine movies, from Babel to The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada. His latest directing effort is The Burning Plain, starring Charlize Theron (Wee Britain!), Joaquim de Almeida (HE WILL KILL YOU), and Kim Basinger (um… not much to say here, really? Vicki Vale?).

Anyway: The Burning Plain is set in Portland, will be released sometime in 2008, and is currently filming in Portland and Lincoln City. (In fact, it’s filming about two feet from where Untraceable filmed a few months back.) If you want to gawk at some Hollywood-style action, it sounds like they’ll be wrapping up their last day of Portland shooting tomorrow morning in NW Portland, roundabouts the NW waterfront and Naito Parkway. Just FYI: If you do go looking for some filmmaking action, you might want to keep your snide comments about a certain sci-fi movie to yourself, wiseass. The future is flux, indeed.

After having lunch at Got Pho? for the second time this week, it came as a very welcome surprise to learn that the Bonfire Lounge is now serving lunch, noon-2:30 pm daily. In addition to a famously goodlooking staff, the Bonfire has seriously decent food—it’s a notch above pub grub, with burgers, salads, pastas, tacos, and a great vegan rice bowl. And their fries are super addictive.

Bonfire Lounge, 2821 SE Stark, 232-3704

Also, in case you missed the owner of East Burn’s comment on my recent post, here’s some more good lunch news for Eastsiders:

Thanks for the write up! Our customers have spoken and we have listened. We are revising the prices and offerings with a separate menu for the taproom and lower priced items on the lunch. Draft beers are $4 pint regular and $2.75 during Recess, 4pm-7pm daily. Lots of people have said “fancy” in regard to the dining room. We want nice, not fancy, so that’s getting toned down, along with the volume on the skee ball. Cheers! Mike Bender

East Burn, 1800 E Burnside, 11 am-2:30 am

Wow. Not only do I have to defend LFO, now I have to defend a fellow Alabamian who threw his kids off a bridge? (See Matt’s post below.) Well luckily, my defense is both simple and airtight:
THE MAN WASN’T ORIGINALLY FROM ALABAMA! Here are the deets…

An Alabama father confessed to throwing his four young children from a high-rise bridge into coastal waters after an argument with his wife, police said on Wednesday.

Lam Luong, 37, of Irvington, Alabama, was charged with four counts of murder and was being held in the Mobile County, Alabama, jail.

BUT GET THIS!

Luong moved to Alabama from Vietnam in 1984 and worked in the commercial fishing industry as a shrimper.

This guy was only a “Alabamian” in the loosest possible sense of the word. He probably doesn’t even have an opinion about which football team is better, Alabama or Auburn.
Consider “my people”… DEFENDED!

Portland’s rent-a-cops are to get a two-hour training on homelessness, as part of ongoing negotiations on better oversight for the firm—Portland Patrol, Inc (PPI).
SPOT THE PUBLIC ACCOUNTABILITY DIFFERENCE: It’s more glaring than the uniforms…

Street Roots, Sisters of the Road and the Oregon Law Center met with PPI boss John Hren yesterday, and agreed that one of them would go through a rent-a-cop training session.

Street Roots also agreed to create the two-hour training for the officers, including an overview of homelessness, the Rose City Resource Guide, and to establish an ongoing strategy so that someone is talking to security guards about laws affecting people on the streets, specifically park exclusions, on an ongoing basis.

It’s extremely satisfying to see PPI and homeless advocates working towards a constructive solution to this important public safety and civil rights issue, about which, incidentally, the Oregonian remains yet to publish a single sentence.

It’s regretful that I even have to ask, but why not? Because the O’s managing editor, Therese Bottomley, is the sister of the lobbyist for the Portland Business Alliance—Bernie Bottomley? (The PBA funds the rent-a-cops). Because the PBA’s director, Sandra McDonough, is a former O reporter? Or because the Oregonian doesn’t care about the civil rights of homeless people?

Either way it doesn’t matter now, because change is afoot, regardless. But I remain sickened by what seems such obvious and undeniable complicity, and will continue to call bullshit. It’s small town, people. Small town.

MICKIE AND MINNIE: Healthy attitude to boy/girl twindom…or were they, in fact, lovers?

Later, Mercury editor Wm.Steven Humphrey will “DEFEND HIS PEOPLE” on the Alabama man who yesterday threw his four children off a bridge. But first, he has insisted, it’s my turn. To defend this:

LONDON, England (CNN) — British twins who had been separated at birth learned they were related only after they had become husband and wife, a senior British lawmaker said. The marriage has been annulled.

What. The. Holy hell? Where to begin? I mean, chucking your kids off a bridge is one thing. But this defies reason.

Him: When’s your birthday?
Her: Same as yours.
Him: Fascinating. Cup of tea, dear?
Her: Yes please love. Two sugars.
Him: Same as me! I always did have a sweet tooth.
Her: What lovely hands you have, pouring that Darjeeling.
Him: Thank you darling. Notice I have a distinctive mole on my left thumb, in the shape of an archeoptryx?
Her: Incredible. It matches a mole of my own, just below my coccyx.
Him: Oh, realllly? How far is your archeoptryx below your coccyx?
Her: Here, I’ll show you.

SICK BRITS:Smell a rat yet?

Him: You were born in Shropshire?
Her: Yes, Shropshire.
Him: Lower East Shropshire?
Her: Yes. Next to the…
Him: Coal pit?!
Her: Me too!
Him: In nineteen-sixty..
Her: Eight!!
Him: Of course, I never knew my real parents. I was adopted, you see.
Her: Me too.
Him: I think we should get married.
Her: Splendid.

Defies defense, I’m afraid. I apologize, on behalf of my nation, and all my people. Coming up: the bridge-chucker. Steve?

Mmmm… how about me? Check out the new and legitimately awesome Mercury music blog END HITS in which you’ll learn and hear all sorts of stuff… including the definitive argument where I successfully defend LFO’s 1999 hit, “Summer Girls.”

It’s awesome, and you know I’m right!

This Sunday, we’re co-sponsoring two debates with the Bus Project, at the Rebooting Democracy conference. First, we’ll dig into the state Attorney General race. Then we’ll be grilling the four people running for Secretary of State—with State Senator Ben Westlund moderating.

The Bus Project’s Alex Aronson explains:

Of course, since this is the Bus Project, you know that these are not your father’s debates! To keep the candidates on their toes, each candidate is going to get chances to increase their own time, to decrease their opponents’ time, and to “call bull” on their opponents. With the usual question and answer session, a “lightning round” of policy stances, and even a short Oregon-centric quiz, it’s guaranteed to be unpredictable and enlightening.

First, at 11:20 on Sunday, John Kroger and Greg Macpherson will square off for the Attorney General debate, moderated by John Frohnmayer.

Then, at 12:45, the stage will be swamped with one-sixth of the Oregon State Senate: Brad Avakian, Kate Brown, Rick Metsger, and Vicki Walker will debate the finer points of the Secretary of State’s Office while Senator Ben Westlund moderates the discussion.

We’ve got a good start on questions to ask these folks—thanks to readers at BlueOregon.com—but we want to hear what Blogtown readers would like to know. Remember: The Secretary of State oversees things like elections, initiatives, corporations, campaign finance, and the archives (ooo, that’s the best part). Meanwhile, the state attorney general is Oregon’s lawyer, oversees the Oregon Department of Justice, and does things like defend state elections officials against suits brought by anti-gay activists who really, really want to overturn domestic partnerships.

So what would you ask them?

Courtesy of Mercury ad sales chap James Deeley comes this photo of destruction wreaked by yesterday’s “twister” in Vancouver:
TREE DOWN: Man still standing…

Some confusion has arisen in the Mercury office about the true definition of a “tornado” as opposed to a “twister.” Rather than consult Wikipedia, why not kick-start an argument on the subject?

“A tornado is hiding in your basement for an hour,” scoffs news editor Amy Ruiz, who at nine years of age was home alone with no cellphone when one touched down in her hometown of St.Paul, Minnesota.

“These people don’t know what a fucking tornado is,” hoots our esteemed editor Wm.Steven Humphrey. “A tornado is factories being ripped out of the ground.”

And massive loss of life, presumably. Your tornado and twister stories/opinions, please…

If you are anything like me, you are SO FREAKING SICK of buying the 12 oz. size of Jimmy Dean Sausage and trying to feed your family of five (or is it six?). Well, FINALLY someone has called Jimmy Dean on their bullshit, and left this hilarious, but oh-so-true message on their corporate voice mail. (Note to people leaving voice mails: Make sure your phone is OFF after you’ve left your message. Thank you.) Some language NSFW!

This hit the inbox yesterday:

Your friendly neighborhood worker-owned cafe is BACK with an all vegan food menu, a beautiful space and plenty of new smiling faces!

We’ll be reopening at our new space, 400 SE 12th avenue at Oak tomorrow, Friday January 11th with limited hours being 9am-3pm through the weekend, and 9am-9pm the following week and until further notice. Please come and see us!

Can’t wait to see you, and many thanks in advance to everyone for their patience as we re-adjust to our new space.

COME GET SOME FOOD!

AudioCinema–Ed Forman Show, Titans of Oblivion, The Night, 8 pm
Berbati’s Pan–The Greater Midwest, Lonesome Radio Heart, 9 pm
Branx–Kulturszene: Kate Simko, M. Quiet, 31Avas, 10 pm, $5
Dante’s–Napalm Beach, Old Growth, Dirty Lowdowns, 9:30 pm, $8
Doug Fir–The Mother Hips, Weinland, 9 pm, $13-15
East End–Expressway to Your Skull: The Prids, DJ Misprid, Cityrocker, 9 pm, free
Holocene–Rockbox: DJ Kez, Mr. Matt Nelkin, Dundiggy, 9 pm, $3
Pix Patisserie (Division)–Michael Rockstar, Quiet Countries, CJ & The Dolls, 11 pm
Podkrepa Hall–Plazm’s Back Room: Tara Jane O’Neil, 6:30 pm
Rotture–Neon: E*Rock, DJ Furpurse, Tre Slim, 10 pm, $3
Slabtown–Castle, Plans vs. The Sea, Doctor Moss, 9 pm, $5
Someday Lounge–Eternal Tapestry, Rollerball, Plants, Brave Priest, 9 pm, $6
Tonic Lounge–The Fast Takers, Iceage Cobra, Fruit of the Legion of Loom, Sprinkles, 9:30 pm

Don’t forget, my lovelies, you can find all your events needs on Found It! It’s like an oracle for our modern times.

Holy Crap! Yesterday a tornado ripped through Vancouver! Apparently, Mother Nature doesn’t like Vancouver either.

As usual, the Homeland Security Department wants to make it more annoying to live in the U.S. Their latest brilliant idea is the REAL ID Act, which is supposed to make it harder for terrorist to get a driver’s license. One key aspect of the act is to put all IMPORTANT words in CAPITAL LETTERS.

In Washington County, the reality TV “star” Matt Roloff (the dad on that dwarf show, “Little People, Big World”) has been acquitted of a DUI charge. The judge declared “jury misconduct” after jurors got on the internet to look up legal definitions to some of the jargon being tossed around the court room.

In more bizarre weather news—it snowed in Baghdad! According to venerable locals, the mythical white “snow-rain” hasn’t been seen in the capital since the ’40s.

And I’m saddened to report that figure skating champion and child actor Christopher Bowman “the Showman” was found dead in an L.A. motel, possibly of a drug overdose.

-Jennifer Furniss

Nick Jaina has one hell of a new record coming out March 4th on Hush Records. It’s called Wool and it’s not a stretch to say that these 14 songs (that is, if you count the various “Interludes” that pop up throughout the album) are easily his best work to date.

Jaina’s vivid songwriting beams with a newfound sense of confidence, and his deliberate pace and structure of the songs allow for each and every word to wield their substantial emotional weight. To be honest, it’s a little staggering to realize how grand Wool really is.

Not known for slacking, Jaina is doubling up on the CD release shows. He’s playing a pair of shows in one night, February 22nd, at Mississippi Studios. For now, enjoy your first peak at Wool…

MP3:
Nick Jaina - Power

photo by Craig Koozer

You like what you are hearing? Then come on over to End Hits, Blogtown’s noisy upstairs neighbors.

Having thoroughly scrubbed and showered I’m now ready, I think, to write about my day spent in what is possibly Portland’s sickest building—the Community Court at the downtown Justice Center on SW 2nd. That’s right: I’ve been where this town’s rubber hits its road, when it comes to criminal justice:
COMMUNITY COURT: Friendly, welcoming…

I got to meet one of Portland’s fieriest defenders of constitutional rights today. He’s a man who thinks there are only about 25 words you need ever say to a police officer, and who is readying himself to challenge Randy Leonard’s new drug free zone replacement scheme, aimed at targeting Portland’s worst offenders for drug and, if necessary, mental health treatment.
KNOW YOUR RIGHTS: Simply put, you ain’t talking…

Read all about it after the jump.

I say I’ve scrubbed and showered because having been warned three times today by different people about various “resistant strains” of bacteria inside the court building, it’s hard not to attribute a persistent itching sensation as I type to the beginnings of a staph-induced boil. Which as it turns out, is a hazard of the job for anyone in Portland’s judicial rubber-roading business.

“I’ve got a couple,” said my civic-minded tour guide, the public defender Chris O’Connor—rolling up his sleeve to show me the remains of what looked like a hornet’s sting on his arm, as we sluiced our hands with anti-bacterial gel before touching lunch. He also had a similar growth on his chin, but what struck me harder than the growths themselves was how proud O’Connor seemed of only having two. Clearly, his job is not for the faint of heart.
O'CONNOR: FIGHTING FOR YOUR RIGHT...TO GET YOUR CASE DISMISSED...

O’Connor has been on at me to spend a day with him since September, when his office’s continued objections citing the so-called “constitution,” along with a consultant’s report showing Portland’s drug free zones were being employed disproportionately against black people, led Mayor Tom Potter to sunset them forever.

O’Connor is a sharp-eyed, sharp-witted barrel of a man. Yet despite possessing a frame that could clearly do you damage if it tried, he strikes you more like a fencer or a boxer than he does a thick-set thug. O’Connor has a lightness on his feet that extends into conversation: You don’t so much converse as joust with him—even a casual, lobbed remark is met with what one senses is a deep-seated instinct to smash away, verbally, like a tennis pro. Which, of course, comes in handy in court.

54 people went through Community Court today over the course of just five hours. That’s not including the six who didn’t show up, four who chose an alternate trial elsewhere and 3 who were sentenced to jail in absentia for failing to comply with their earlier obligations to community service. Some cases took less than a minute, some as long as five. Either way, it was quick-fire justice.

At one point I watched O’Connor continue two conversations simultaneously—one at full volume with the judge, about the case he was representing, and one in hushed tones with his client, in the dock, who seemed hell-bent on yelping out something incriminating, any minute. At no point did O’Connor appear flustered, or worse, lose his train of thought. He represented every defendant with either expertly feigned or genuine personal interest in his or her plight—it was exhausting, just to watch.

Community Court was created as a quick way for the District Attorney’s office to prosecute a whole host of misdemeanor crimes, from urinating in public to theft in the second degree, to prostitution. Each crime is ranked on a community service matrix by its seriousness and the number of previous offenses the defendant has committed.

The concept is this: That instead of clogging up our overloaded judicial system, people prepared to plead guilty to minor offenses without a jury trial agree to do community service, or undergo drug/alcohol/mental health treatment in order to have their case discharged or dismissed without going to jail. They must also waive the right to appeal their conviction, later.

Defendants are under no obligation to go through Community Court—today, 10 people refused it and were sent “across the street” for a jury trial in the Multnomah County Courthouse. That’s worth doing if you’ve got a good case for a not-guilty plea, or if you want to take your sentencing chances with a judge.

“The beauty of Community Court is its certainty,” says O’Connor—the most the matrix allows for a fifth offense on a level two crime is 56 hours community service or 30 days in jail, if the defendant fails to complete the community service on time. “If you go across the street you can end up with 18 months probation, and if you violate the probation, you can get six months in jail,” he says.

Of course, the system is not without its quirks of fairness. For example: A first charge of second degree theft (stealing goods worth less than $500) is a level one crime requiring 16 hours community service in exchange for a dismissal of the charges, or three days jail if the community service is not completed on time. Meanwhile, a first prostitution charge is a level two, requiring 24 hours community service for the dismissal, or five days jail if that’s not done on time.

“In my moral relativist universe, that seems unfair,” says O’Connor—especially when the DA’s office rarely prosecutes pimps. “It’s not like prostitution is intrinsically bad, in my eyes.”

This prompts me to think: Next time I’m tempted to sell my body, I’ll be sure to nick a $499 coat from Nordstrom instead. Of course, the DA rarely prosecutes male prostitutes, because Portland's vice policing is only institutionally biased against vulnerable, victimized women, and not men. I wish I were kidding.

Today’s 54 cases ran the gamut of eligible offenses, from offensive littering, through criminal trespass in violation of a parks’ exclusion, to distribution of an imitation controlled substance and failure to appear. The overwhelming majority of cases, however, were for shoplifting from Portland’s grocery stores.

“The Interstate Fred Meyer is the largest victim,” says O’Connor. “That, and Safeway, and the Jantzen Beach Target. They’ll steal meat, food, or clothing. Occasionally some poor kid will steal alcohol when they can’t buy it legally, but they never take the good stuff for some reason. I’ve seen everything stolen, from diapers to port, DVDs to shrimp.”

Most grocery store thieves took the 16 hours’ community service on offer to avoid 3 days in jail. Across two community courts in Gresham and NE/SE Portland, there is a 70% success rate for the program. Between September and December 2007, defendants served a total of 7818 hours of community service, and avoided a total of 1120 days in jail. That adds up: The value of the community service hours is $60,000, while the money saved on jail is $160,000. Only 30% of defendants who chose community service dropped out. And now, Spiderman:
MY SPIDEY SENSE: WOOO!!!!

Sorry. O’Connor’s got that in his office and I thought it might wake you up. I was dropping off myself, actually. He says his clients’ kids love it although I suspect he does, really. Now, the important part: The Community Court system, like all systems, is extremely unfair on those with mental illness. The most disturbing part of the day was seeing a middle-aged schizophrenic defendant, who seemed unable to comprehend his failure to complete the court’s earlier mandated drug treatment, get handcuffed by a sheriff’s deputy and taken into jail through the court’s sinister back door. This was despite O’Connor’s appeals to the judge that the defendant appeared too confused to understand what was happening.

Before the court was in session, the same sheriff’s deputy who handcuffed the mad (poor choice of word, I know, but he was mad…how else should I describe him?) guy had been loudly availing a court reporter with descriptions of his time serving on Oregon’s death row—where, to listen to him, he had been frequently assaulted. The experience had evidently diminished the sheriff’s deputy’s “soft skills” and I couldn’t help thinking he wasn’t the ideal mental health nurse for the present situation.

Roughly 60% of inmates at the Multnomah County Detention Center are diagnosed with some form of mental health issue, and for better or worse, community court seems to serve as a kind of un-safety net for those struggling to cope with life in our city.

Recently, Commissioner Randy Leonard and downtown cop Jeff Myers have instituted an $850,000 program to help the worst downtown offenders get more quickly into treatment and, ultimately, housing, by citing them straight into felony court, circumventing Community Court altogether. Whereas Community Court defendants are more likely to choose community service over treatment, those cited with felonies into the Project 57 program are all but forced to go through regimented drug treatment lasting 18 months. If they fail to comply with that, they get jail. If they do comply, they get bumped right up the list for affordable housing.

O’Connor sees the merit in Leonard and Myers’ new program, aimed as it is at replacing the drug free zones with a more targeted approach that includes criminal prosecution. But he can’t help pointing out its fundamental unfairness.

“You or I can go downtown with a crack pipe, and be charged with a misdemeanor,” he says. “But if we happen to be on Jeff Myers’ list, we’d be charged with a felony.”

Myers’ “dirty 30” list of downtown’s worst offenders might be effective in getting chronic offenders off the streets and into supported housing, but it also means different people are going to be charged more seriously for committing the same crime, O’Connor thinks.

“It’s a sad state of affairs when you force someone to commit a felony in order to get mental health or drug treatment that should be available to them without it,” says O’Connor—summing up his frustration with the system. “Not to mention that the fundamental lesson of the 20th Century seems to me to be that we shouldn’t put people’s names on lists, and then target them for special treatment.”

He adds: “Why use the justice system to focus on what is essentially a public health issue?” And he’s right: Portland, like every other city in America, is really facing a public health and affordable housing problem. We shouldn’t be asking men whose core competencies include the administration of a Taser in drive-stun mode, to lead the charge in solving it.

O’Connor plans to rigorously challenge Leonard and Myers’ new approach when the first cases start trickling through over the coming months. In so-doing, he may be the essence of George Bernard Shaw’s unreasonable man—without whom “progress is impossible,” incidentally—but for his stubbornness alone, I can’t help but admire him.

“If the defendant is on their list, we’ll subpoena the list,” he says. “And if they aren’t prepared to make the list public, well then, why are they prepared to use it?”

What Portland really needs isn’t successive quick fixes to its broken mental health and addiction services. We should be printing money and throwing it at those kinds of services, to be provided immediately for people who need them, without forcing them to commit crimes, first. Of course, you’d probably ask what the hell that has to do with a misdemeanor charge for allegedly pissing in public. But then, that’s the crux of the issue, for me…remember James Chasse?

Is Portland a city that would rather sweep its streets of the thousand or so people who are consistently a nuisance to those of us who simply want to sip a cappuccino in peace outside Blue Hour? If so, shouldn’t we just be honest and buy our nuisance people a bus ticket? Or wouldn’t it be cheaper to hire a thousand social workers to follow those people around on a daily basis, instead of chucking almost a million dollars of taxpayer money at yet another system that may or may not work, and which, at its very least, is likely to face certain constitutional challenges? We’ll see.

Regardless: Thanks, Chris—for a day’s most informing experience. I’d recommend spending a similar day with him in Community Court, especially to any City Commissioners who might have had the energy to read all the way through this. I know I, for one, learned a great deal.

Today, in our weekly campaign series, we’ve got a few new candidates—and the first question from a reader:

City Hall can be an exhausting, brutal and frustrating place to work, let alone thrive. What makes you “tough enough” to be a successful leader in that kind of environment?

Candidates got the question a week ago, and had until this morning to respond. Got an idea for a future question? Put it in the comments, or email me.

Chris “Citizen” Smith was quick on the draw, responding the same day I sent out the question. His toughness has been demonstrated in dual career in the technology sector and as a 30-hour-a-week activist. Amanda Fritz says that in her day job, “acute care psychiatric nursing, people threaten to hurt or kill me fairly often.” Howard Weiner also draws on his experience in civic volunteering, and Jeff Bissonnette cites his years lobbying in Salem opposite all of the utility companies. Charles Lewis checks in from Africa (!) and John Branam got his toughness from “more of those ‘if it doesn’t kill you it’ll make you stronger. experiences than I can count.” New candidate Mike Fahey didn’t respond.

In the race for Randy Leonard’s seat, the incumbent says surviving city hall isn’t “just about being tough,” but about “holding on to what you really value.” New candidate Martha Perez says “a decade of experience working within government” and single parenthood have toughened her up. Emily Ryan cites her youthful resilience. We also learn that Ed Kill has a very appropriate surname, given his veteran status—he fought in the first Gulf War and says he “know[s] what it is to kill and I know what it is to have someone try to kill you.”

Next week, we’ll add candidates for the newly opened seat that City Commissioner Erik Sten is vacating, and the mayor’s race! We’ll also be breaking it up, posting a different race each day.

Chris Smith
Position sought: Commissioner #1
Website: citizensmith.us
Public financing status: 695 signatures & contributions, as of 1/6 ORESTAR data

I’m “battle-hardened”. My mantra for the last 7 years has been “30 hours a week making a living, 30 hours making a difference.” I’ve blended a technology management career (I managed a high performance team of 5 people while being a part-time telecommuter) with a second career as a citizen activist. Feel free to check out my profiles in the Tribune and Oregonian. There’s a reason the Tribune dubbed me “Citizen Smith”.

I typically have two or three “activist” projects going on at a time, and they are intense. Whether it’s helping get Voter Owned Elections adopted, spending two years trying to sort out parking in Northwest Portland (OK, I didn’t succeed on that one, but it’s not because I got worn down!), or a decade of transportation activism (including running the PortlandTransport.com blog), I already keep up a heavy duty pace. I budget my time efficiently (but am patient enough to sit through public meetings) and use technology extremely well to increase my effectiveness. And I get things done!

By electing me, the voters will get 60 hours a week of persistent, effective leadership AND I’ll thrive.

Amanda Fritz
Position sought: Commissioner #1
Website: amandafritzforcitycouncil.com
Public financing status: Has filed request for certification.

For 26 years, I have worked in hospitals, in life-and-death situations. My desire to help fellow humans in need makes me love my job despite its stress. Tough enough? In acute care psychiatric nursing, people threaten to hurt or kill me fairly often. I have had my glasses smashed into my face. Three of my coworkers have been permanently disabled in attacks by patients. These kinds of experiences are common for nurses .... and we go back into work the next shift, address problems as a team, and care for people we know to be dangerous. Every day, nurses work with people who are very upset, and hurting, and we help find solutions to difficult problems. The willingness to make sacrifices and to do what it takes to help the most vulnerable members of our society is the "toughness" and perspective I want to bring to City Hall. Frankly, I am looking forward to not being assaulted as often when I am a City Commissioner.

Many citizens give up when faced with the brick walls of bureaucracy. It is hard to be productive in City Hall, but it is way more difficult to be an outsider coordinating neighbors to persuade insiders to make the right things happen. I have been advocating for citizens in issues vital to the city of Portland for over 15 years, and I am running despite knowing how challenging being inside City Hall will be. I served on the Portland Planning Commission for seven years and made many improvements in policies and practices. I know the frustrations of bureaucracy as both a community activist and a public employee at OHSU, and I am a proven, tested leader who has achieved results working with people inside Portland City Hall and in our community. Tangible results, in Portland and for Portland .... like four new city parks, open space requirements in subdivisions, and protection of environmental resources. I want to see City Hall working so that more citizens can point to improvements in their neighborhood and say, "I helped get that done".

I invite you to visit my web site and come to one of my house parties, to discuss what we can accomplish when we work together to solve our toughest problems. Helping Portlanders achieve our shared goal of a more equitable, caring, fair community is what fires me up, and continued teamwork with citizens will make me stay strong as your next Commissioner.

Howard Weiner
Position sought: Commissioner #1
Website: howardforportland.com
Public financing status: Not participating in program

First and foremost I have a strong set of principles and a sense of self that defines me in all of the ways I interact with others.

I believe in the uniqueness and importance of every human beings life.

I believe it is within each of us to make this world a little brighter through our actions.

I embrace our differences in background and culture and encourage dialogue.

I have spent the last forty years taking positions on tough issues and standing my ground.

From my days of anti war activism being beaten and sprayed with mace to my role as founder and chair of our neighborhood public safety committee I have stood up for what I believe is right.

My leadership roles in the Old Town Chinatown community reducing crime while advocating for resources for our social service providers has strengthened my resolve for solution based thinking that honors each others interest.

Running your own business is the toughest job of all and you have to be independent of mind and have a determination to get through the bad times as well as the good and I have accomplished that for 32 years.

I co chair the Old Town Chinatown Visions committee dealing with complex issues that are emotionally charged as our community faces potential gentrification and what that means for our future. In this role I have reached out to all of our constituencies trying to find common ground where lines have been drawn in the sand.

My past and present leadership roles show that I have the experience and wisdom to sit on our city council and tackle the toughest of issues that will come before us.

Howard Weiner

Jeff Bissonnette
Position sought: Commissioner #1
Website: portlandersforjeff.com
Public financing status: 523 signatures & contributions according to 1/9 ORESTAR data

What makes me "tough enough" to be a successful leader in an exhausting, brutal and frustrating place? I can answer that question in four words: The. Oregon. State. Legislature.

Since 1999 legislative session, I have been the main lobbyist for the Citizens' Utility Board of Oregon, representing the interests of residential utility ratepayers. I have often observed that the utilities - Portland General Electric, Pacific Power, Idaho Power, NW Natural, Avista, Qwest, Verizon and others - all have at least one lobbyist (and most have 2 or 3) working in the building. In contrast, consumers have had just one person - me - in the capitol working as their direct representative to stop bills that would gouge residential customers and trying to pass legislation that will protect ratepayers and create clean energy policy on consumers' behalf. It has required me to stay on my toes, to be tough yet flexible, and always be ready to forge alliances to blunt the inherent influence and power that the utilities have. But at times, there are opportunities to work with utilities to pass good legislation. The adoption of Oregon's renewable energy standard in the last legislative session is an excellent example where intense negotiation resulted in legislation that had me as a consumer representative working in conjunction with the utilities to pass a very good bill.

Working in the legislative process is both exhilarating and exhausting. The last days and weeks of a session are especially grueling with the pace of breakneck speed with literally dozens of things happening at once and key decisions being made under enormous pressure, often without the benefit of much sleep. It is gratifying and exciting when one of your bills passes through the process and becomes law. It is frustrating beyond belief when your efforts are stymied for no apparent reason.

For the first few sessions, the Oregon legislature was controlled by Republicans. However, I am not partisan in my approach to issues. Consumer protection is not a Democratic or Republican issue and I have always able to work with legislators from across the political spectrum to pass pro-consumer, pro-environment legislation. I am viewed by legislators and other lobbyists alike as fair-minded, tenacious and able to disagree without being disagreeable (although I do have my bad days).

In my view, working in the legislature is excellent preparation for the rigors of serving as a Portland city commissioner. I have been required to work with people from very diverse backgrounds, align interests, build coalitions and overcome resistance in order to make things happen. At the same time, I have been able to recognize that an opponent in one instance could be an ally in another so I always try to build bridges rather than burn them. I expect being in City Hall will be no different. But there will be one main difference: I'll be able to avoid that awful I-5 commute!

Charles Lewis
Position sought: Commissioner #1
Website: charleslewis.com
Public financing status: "Over a 1,000 signatures and counting," according to his campaign.

[Charles responded with a video—from Africa! "As you will
note in the video, the sound is a bit off - however, he did produce it
in Africa and as such had more then a few challenges," his campaign manager says. -Eds.]

John Branam
Position sought: Commissioner #1
Website: john4pdx.org
Public financing status: 880 signatures & contributions as of today, he says

What makes me tough enough to thrive on City Council, despite the exhausting, brutal and frustrating nature of the job, is my almost limitless capacity to work, my ability to simultaneously manage multiples of complex situations, and the experiences I've garnered by putting myself through relatively extreme challenges on a regular basis.

A good example of my "toughness" can be found in the schedule I kept between 2002 and 2005 when I managed a grueling balance act of law school, new professional endeavors and emotional traumas. In 2002, during my second year of law school at the University of Oregon, my partner and I bought our first house in North Portland (yes, in spite of the law school being 110 miles south in Eugene). Over the next two years, from 2002 through graduation in 2004, I commuted to Eugene from Portland, carried a full academic load, and did well! Moreover, while in law school I served as co-chair of a student group and as a small-claims court mediator also while working in exchange for the two fellowships I was awarded. In addition, during those same years, we bought, renovated and managed ten properties in Portland. Yeah, whew!

At the same time, I also served as neighborhood chair and managed to grow our average monthly meeting attendance from 10 to 50. Sadly during that time, I also spent a significant amount of time caring for my father in Corvallis. He was suffering from a terminal illness.

Generally, I believe that I am tough because I've had more of those "if it doesn't kill you it'll make you stronger" experiences than I can count. As a progressive, lower middle-class, bi-racial black kid from Corvallis I chose to attend Washington and Lee University in southern Virginia because of the outstanding undergraduate education it offered. I also choose to go there because I believed if I could make it there, I could make it "anywhere." To make a long story short, let's just say that seeing more confederate flags than union flags and getting stuck, more than once, in KKK rallies, among other things, has built toughness into my character.

So too did serving one of the most rural parts of South Africa in the Peace Corps for two and a half years. Raising more money than was believed had ever been raised by a volunteer and doing so in one of the most impoverished former apartheid homelands (the nearest grocery store and library was, until we built one with the money raised, some 90 miles away) the challenges of living and thriving among significant poverty that is almost unheard of here in Portland, certainly built toughness.

The list could go on: defying expectations and balancing a city-wide campaign and a demanding day job; studying, working and living in Kenya, among extreme poverty (me and my six Kenyan "family" members living in a 300 sq. ft. house with no indoor plumbing,) and thriving; or making ends meet by working three jobs in Washington DC.

So is the job as city counselor tough? Absolutely. But given my challenging life experiences, my tremendous capacity to work and my passion for making Portland a more livable city for all, I am confident that I have the chops to thrive.

*****

Randy Leonard
Position sought: Commissioner #4
Website: randyforportland.com
Public financing status: Not participating in program

Successful leadership isn't just about being tough. I think it has more to do with knowing what you really believe in, and holding on to what you really value, despite the "exhausting, brutal and frustrating" fray inside city hall. A good analogy is to compare city hall to a cyclone. The survivors are those who steadfastly hold onto their ropes (symbolic for their convictions) in the middle of the storm without being whipped hither and fro by the wind.

An example of staying true to my convictions in spite of tremendous opposition is my firm belief that PGE has demonstrated itself to be a monopoly utility that has betrayed its trust to provide electricity to Porlanders. I continue to believe that PGE should be purchased by the city of Portland and turned into a public utility owned and operated by the entire region that PGE currently serves. That position is vigorously opposed by the Oregonian, the Portland Business Alliance and many of the most influential power brokers in Oregon. However, I am convinced PGE continues to charge rates to Portlanders based on dubious activities that have cost ratepayers tens of millions of dollars.

The skill to hold onto your core beliefs despite the tremendous forces that attempt to push you in different directions must also be tempered with the ability to stay nimble and flexible enough to know when it is important to modify or change your position when faced with new arguments or facts that are compelling.

I believe I have learned to survive and even thrive in the very dynamic environment of city politics where all politics is truly local and much more personal than at any other level. I have also worked to develop the ability to change or modify my position when confronted by new arguments and facts I had not been aware of originally. Those qualities--the strength to hold onto my convictions and the flexibility to change when change is called for--help to make me a successful leader in city hall.

Martha Perez
Position sought: Commissioner #4
Website: none (contact: moperez73@aol.com)
Public financing status: Less than 100 signatures & contributions

Well, that's a really good point you've brought up Amy and I would have to say a couple of things.

First, I have a decade of experience working within government at the grassroots, local, county, state and federal levels. Now, that's a lot of opportunities to create change from within. I'm proud to say that I've worked on really cool things like energy efficiency, healthcare coverage, environmental research and taxation. Working in government taught me to be organized, dependable and consistent.

Second, I am a single parent of a wonderful 16 year old daughter (her name is the same as mine, but I call her Martha Jr. I would be Martha Sr, so as not to confuse our readers) and you know, having kids at a young age was a great learning experience. It taught me to be strong, to be accountable and to become the leader that I am today. When I asked Martha Jr. what she thought about my running for City Council, she said that she believes I can get the job done, but she warned me to not be like a typical career politician. I really am trying to show thru my candidacy, that this isn't the case with me. I wish to distinguish myself from the rest of the pack, by being myself and not somebody else. I'm a real person who's not catering to special or corporate interests.

Third, I've gone through some pretty interesting life experiences, that usually don't happen until mid-life strikes. By the time I was 21 years of age, both of my parents were deceased and I was on my own as a single parent. This was during the early 90's. I believe I am the person who re-invented what it means to be "tough".

Lastly, I wanted to tell you that I am the first person in my family to go to college. I graduated from Portland State University with a bachelor's degree in general studies, sociology and spanish (habla espanol). I've overcome some pretty tremendous obstacles in my life to arrive to the place where I'm at right now. I don't complain at all about where I've come from; I'm proud to know where it is that I am going and where I've been. I look forward to the future, no matter what the outcome of this particular race. I've learned so much about running for City Council, that I wouldn't trade it for gold.

Emily S. Ryan
Position sought: Commissioner #4
Website: emilysryan.com
Public financing status: Less than 100 signatures & contributions

There is no excuse of case I can make to make me sound tough enough for City Council. It will be hard and I recognize that. I am ready for this landmark in my life and in the history of Politics in Portland.

If I am elected, I will be the first woman of color. Not only that but I will be the youngest to obtain office. Even younger than Commissioner Sten was when he won.

I am a young resilient person and bounce back from hard times easily. I bring fresh ideas and new perspective. My age, experience, and support from the community will help me stay tough enough to succeed in City Hall.

Ed Kill
Position sought: Commissioner #4
Website: none
Public financing status: Not participating in program

City Hall is indeed exhausting, brutal and frustrating. I went down to City Hall and asked three questions in three different offices and all three answers turned out to be completely wrong. More than a year ago I reported a very dangerous intersection, and still nothing has been done. I was assaulted by the police last year, I then went though the reporting process which resulted in no actions what so ever. I am a cyclist and do not own a car, yet by living this ‘green’ lifestyle I have been declared a criminal. I am constantly stooped by the police and illegally searched and I’m sick and tired of it. When I complained to the police department about this, a Sergeant told me that the police are making a map of cyclists, where they ‘should’ be and ‘should not’ be and that these searches were “only a minor inconvenience”. I don’t consider the violation of citizens rights to be a “minor inconvenience” I consider it a crime.

City Hall is indeed exhausting, brutal and frustrating, and that is in a nutshell, why I am running. When I’m elected I will not tolerate the kind of nonsense that goes on now. City Hall exists to serve the people and you cannot serve the people by putting up a brick wall every time a citizen ties to do something. The worst of all is the police, these are city employees who are assaulting, molesting, and even murdering innocent citizens and their bosses ‘the City Counsel’ aren’t doing a dam thing about it. That’s why I (just a regular guy) feel I’m being forced into running because the people in office can‘t or won‘t get the job done.

As for my personal ‘toughness‘: I fought in the first Gulf War, I know what it is to kill and I know what it is to have someone try to kill you, that tends to make a man very tough.

In a town that’s practically perfected the art of the house show, it’s surprising that more artists don’t throw one-night exhibitions in their homes more often. They happen every great once in a while; interesting ones happen even less. But Saturday, one of my favorite Portland artists, E*rock, is co-hosting an apartment show with Mumbleboy, who evidently lives in Portland now. These two had a show together in Tokyo last year, and these installation pics should give you a clue what sort of thing to expect at the house show. I accidentally stumbled into a Mumbleboy show at some store/gallery hybrid in New York a few years ago, and thought immediately of E*Rock (as well as many other interesting artists working in a similar vein); the chance to see these two together is really exciting, but to catch a fly-by-night house show of their stuff in North Portland? That’s downright badass.

Catch Paper Machete Squad at 932 N. Fremont # 4, Sat Jan 12, 7-10 pm. But mind your manners—it’s a private domicile.

I’m just back from the District Attorney’s office, where I picked up a copy of Senior Deputy District Attorney Chuck Sparks’ memo outlining why he declined to prosecute the driver of the cement truck in the collision that took Tracey Sparling’s life.

I read the memo on the way back to my office, and the line titling this post keeps running through my head. Most of the not-quite-four pages outline the facts of the collision, including witness statements, like the one from Robert Watson, “who was spare-changing cars on the west side of SW 14th” and saw Sparling pull up alongside the truck in the bike lane last October 11.

Watson saw the traffic start to move, then heard a metallic noise and Ms. Sparling yell “Hey!” He next saw the truck run over Ms. Sparling.

Why no charges? Sparks, himself a bike commuter—and, for what it’s worth, one of the most thorough and thoughtful people I’ve met in the course of this job—writes:

[The driver, Timothy] Wiles arrived at the intersection before Ms. Sparling and came to a stop, waiting to turn right. Wiles did not see Ms. Sparling as she approached his stopped truck, mor did he see her as he went into his turn. Ms. Sparling stopped in the bike lane near Wiles’ right front wheel, and was, due to her location and diminutive stature, not visible to Wiles; she was, through no fault of her own, in the driver’s blind spot…

The relevant standard is criminal negligence. Criminal negligence is the failure to be aware of “a substantial and unjustifiable risk that the result will occur or the circumstance exists,” with the risk being “of such nature and degree that the failure to be aware of it constitutes a gross deviation from the standard of care that a resonable person would observe in the situation.” The evidence must prove beyond a reasonable doubt that Mr. Wiles acted with criminal negligence for the state to prosecute. After reviewing all witness statements, the scene evidence, and the toxicology reports I conclude that Wiles’ failure to perceive Ms. Sparling prior to his turn was not sufficient to charge him with criminally negligent homicide.

The entire memo is after the cut.

Tracey’s father and his attorney met with Sparks this morning to get a first look at the memo and hear the news before it was public.

The case now heads back to the desk of Portland Police Traffic Investigator Peter Kurronen, who could elect to cite Wiles. And if the police don’t, attorney Christopher Heaps and the rest of the citizen citation team are sure to do so themselves, for failing to yield to a cyclist in a bike lane.

(Click to see bigger, more readable versions.)

You know you want to!

From the press release…

WHO: The Rose City Rollers—Portland’s All-Female Roller Derby League
WHAT: Roller Derby Tryouts
WHEN: Tuesday, January 15, sign in 6:45 pm, tryouts 7 pm-8:45pm
WHERE: The Hangar at Oaks Park (light green building across from roller rink), 7805 SE Oaks Park Way, Portland, OR 97202

WHY: Become a part of Portland’s fastest growing all-female sports phenomenon! Enjoy the glorious benefits of at least three nights a week of skating and knocking around with 100 other stinky, hard-hittin’, fun-lovin’ ladies.

REQUIRED: You must be at least 21 years of age, but being a drinker isn’t required. Bring your own skates, knee and elbow pads, mouth and wrist guards, and a helmet.

CLINICS: RCR offers tryouts clinics at The Hangar to help hopeful skaters get prepared. Only one of these clinics remains:
Final Winter Clinic
January 12, 2008
3 pm-5 pm

For complete tryouts details visit rosecityrollers.com

To get you inspired… Claudia Jennings in 1972’s Unholy Rollers.

Gus Van Sant’s latest film, Paranoid Park, based on the book by Blake Nelson (peep the Mercury review here), has a slick, promising trailer. Check it out here, and try to keep track of the bajillion Portland locations Van Sant has crammed in.

The holiday snot-stream of Christmas shows has finally dried to a crust (I do not like Christmas shows.), and we’re back to the Portland theater world’s regularly scheduled programming—not to belabor the point, but what with TV sucking and all, now’s as good a time as any to check out local stages. Not sure what to see this weekend? Aw, allow me.

Theater Vertigo opens Where’s My Money tomorrow night, by playwright John Patrick Shanley (yeah, that guy). Vertigo is an institution, consistently turning out smart, challenging work—not to mention they attract a high level of talent and usually feature some of the best sets in town; this show is supposed to be very funny and very mean-spirited, both of which are OK by me. Details on their website.

The fine folks at defunkt generally tackle work that is less conventionally "accessible" than what you'll find on Vertigo's stage, which can be frustrating or enlightening, depending on the show. I've got a good feeling about their current project, though; the script they're workshopping sounds fascinating:

"By Americans, for Americans," The Communist Dracula Pageant takes place during the Romanian Revolution of 1989 and comes complete "with hallucinations, phosphorescence, and bears." on December 25, 1989, in a hastily converted schoolhouse in the middle of nowhere, Nikolae and Elena Ceausescu are put on trial for, among other things, genocide. presided over by our own Master of Ceremonies Vlad Tepes (the original Dracula), Washburn's play examines this event through a non-stop barrage of styles and scenes, many of which are taken from actual video documentation. this is a one-of-a-kind seriocomic tale of the corrupting nature of power, self-deception, the theatre of politics and the politics of theatre.

Opening tomorrow at the Back Door Theater, 4319 SE Hawthorne; Thurs-Sun 8 pm, admission is free tomorrow and Saturday, $10-15 after that (Thurs & Sun pay what you will)

And, of course, one of my favorite companies in town, the Miracle Theater group is launching their original bilingual show Zapatista tomorrow night, about the Zapatista movement in Mexico. The Miracle really redefines "community theater," with a commitment to outreach and education in addition to their always solid productions.
Milagro Theatre, 525 SE Stark Street, preview tonight, 7:30 pm, $12; runs Thurs-Sat 8 pm, Sun 2 pm ($20 Fri-Sat, $18 Thurs)

I am trepidatious about New Group Theater's original show Off Book, which opens tonight, and I'll tell you why. Actually, no, I'll let their press release tell you why:

Off Book tells the story of Corgan Bryant, a confident young hero who suddenly finds that his life is taking nothing but bad turns. Like a modern suburban adolescent he cries out for his freedom and independence. But when he has worked his way through the pseudo-religious hierarchy of the modern theatre world, he finds that freedom and independence aren’t at all what he thought they would be.

Eep. Shoebox Theatre, 2110 SE 10th, Thurs-Sat 7 pm, Sun 2 pm, $10

Finally, Third Rail's solid Shining City will probably have a sold out run, so grab your tickets early for that one.

As always, more listings on FoundIt!—and if you're a theater people and I'm missing your show, e-mail ahallett@portlandmercury.com and I'll get you listed.

It’s a ridiculous assumption I know, but it’s still important to talk about. That’s why I’m thankful the Onion News Network has put together this highly learned panel to discuss why robots are actually looking out for our best interests. ALL HAIL, PRESIDENT EXECUTRON!

In The Know: Are We Giving The Robots That Run Our Society Too Much Power?

Another week, another Mercury section to read while you mourn the defeat of Joe Biden in ‘08. Come on Joe! You got one percent of Iowa caucus voters, that means you’re only 99% away from 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

Quitter.

Lupe Fiasco is a superstar. Need proof? How about his hit single of the same name? No, not enough? What about that extreme close-up promo photo? Or how about when he totally gleams the cube. Gleam it!
MP3: Lupe Fiasco - Superstar (Ft. Matthew Santos)

I can’t believe I wrote an entire article on Carcrashlander and didn’t mention Three Mile Pilot. Usually when a band sounds anything remotely like TMP (a band whose logo I nearly got tattooed on myself when I turned 18), I got nuts. I’m slipping.
MP3: Carcrashlander - Gold Sunset

Seattle’s Gabriel Teodros takes it way way way back to the so-called Golden Age of Hiphop. I personally think this is the real Golden Age of hiphop, but what do I know?
MP3: Gabriel Teodros - Do U (feat. Jerm)

Bang! Bang! Bang! Well, if it isn’t the Last Regiment of Syncopated Drummers and their assault on our tender eardrums. Did you guys (and gals) ever think about using brushes? What about some nice drum pads?
MP3: Last Regiment of Syncopated Drummers - Rock Out

For all of your music needs, come on over to End Hits - The Mercury Music Blog.

Oh great, another spinoff blog.

If Blogtown is Happy Days, then MOD is definitely Laverne & Shirley, so I guess that makes End Hits, the brand new Mercury music blog, the equivalent of Joanie Loves Chachi.

That sounds about right.

Anyway, End Hits makes its glorious debut today. There will be new/rare/live MP3s from some of Portland’s best bands, previews of upcoming shows, random musical observations, and all sorts of other things worthy of a home in your RSS feed.

And since I am dedicated to turning this paper into my high school fanzine (see naming our music blog after a Fugazi record from 1998), here is something from the original End Hits…

MP3:
Fugazi - Break

End Hits - The Mercury Music Blog

Failed presidential hopeful John Kerry has endorsed Barack Obama INSTEAD of his former running mate John Edwards. Oooooooh! Mr. Kerry, remember one thing: You can’t unhurt a feeling.

US forces launch a massive airstrike—one of the biggest since the war’s inception—south of Baghdad. This follows on the heels of Tuesday’s super secret push against the insurgents. Sounds like someone’s panicking!

The New York Times creams all over Portland again… this time about our bike boxes! (Can someone pass a tissue, please? Thanks.)

Britney Spears and her paparazzo lover have escaped to Mexico! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Go on, take the money and run!

Another reason to love television variety show legend and creator of Jeopardy MERV GRIFFIN? Best tombstone ever.

I’m spending a day in court today, in an effort to continue my education about Portland. I’m actually taking up an offer made by a downtown public defender back when I applied to Citizen’s Police Academy last September.
ALL RISE: Can’t help feeling like I’m in trouble..

So: What’s my thinking behind it? Apart from trying to better understand the justice system, I’ve also been reading about Stewart Holbrook lately, the Oregonian and freelance journalist who died in 1964. His interest in what he called the “Lowbrow Northwest” is one I’m consciously seeking to emulate. For some reason I’m drawn not just to decayed buildings, but decayed public entities like criminal defense, and decayed, broken, or decaying people, too. (The criminal defenders, or their clients?!!) There’s more hope for regeneration there, I suppose. And yes, that’s probably why I get on so well with Commissioner Randy Leonard—decayed being that he is. From the Holbrook bookjacket:

Combining solid scholarship with humor and a gift for celebrating the offbeat, Holbrook’s stories record a vibrant, often overlooked side of Northwest history. Here are accounts of forgotten scandals and murders; stories of forest fires, floods, and other calamities; tales of loggers and life in the logging camps; and profiles of various lowbrow characters—radicals, do-gooders, dreamers, schemers, and zealots.

My first thought? “I can do that.” I’d also like to emulate some of Holbrook’s financial success, too. But one step at a time. I’m already late.

This just landed in my inbox:

The Comité de Solidaridad y de Apoyo Mutuo (Committee of Solidarity and Mutual Support) will be selling tamales this Friday, January 11th, 2008. This is the group of men and women who were victims of the June 12th, 2007 Del Monte Raid.

Where: Table Church, 7412 N. Portland. (Intersection of Lombard and Mississippi)

Frozen and fresh tamales will be available and you won’t have to wait.

Mexican tamales $18.00 Dozen
Guatemalan tamales $24.00 Dozen

Chicken and Vegetables

Friday, January 11th,
From: 1:00 – 3:00 PM

Please place your order at tamaleorders@yahoo.com

Live from the Rose Garden as the Portland Trail Blazers, a team that has won 11 straight games at home, take on the fiesty Warriors, of the Golden State.

Will Brandon Roy’s tender bottom prevent him from playing? Will Baron Davis cheat by using his magical beard? We’ll find out after the jump.

(Golden State) Warriors, come out to play…

Pre-Game
While "the streak" came to an end on New Year's Eve in Utah (that state is the last place in the world I'd want to be when the ball drops), the Blazers have barely noticed. Just in case you are keeping track at home, it's been 16 victories in 17 games. They are about to embark on their toughest stretch of this season, seven consecutive road games, starting Sunday in Toronto. The Blazers need to stockpile as many home wins as possible, starting tonight, if they want to remain in the first place.

Yes, the Blazers—the 3rd youngest team in NBA history—are in 1st place.
In January.
That is insane.

First Quarter:
9:23 - Eight Blazer points so far, six of which have come via slam dunks. One for the Vanilla Gorilla Joel Przybilla, one for Martell Webster and LaMarcus Aldridge, not wanting to be left out, drunked one home as well. 8-2 Blazers.

8:06 - Przybilla stuffs Baron Davis in a mighty fashion. Baron Davis is sad. 12-4 Blazers.

6:38 - Is it the fourth quarter already? Steve Blake knocks back and three-pointer and a quick jumper and Golden State is forced to take another timeout. Wow, the Blazers are looking sharp. 17-4 Portland.

3:46 - Gummo is on fire! Ten points for Steve Blake, and everything is coming up Red & Black. 24-8 Blazers. Wow.

):00 - The only thing sweeter than a 30 point quarter is holding the opponents to 14. This is crazy. 30-14 Blazers.

Second Quarter:
8:34 - Travis Outlaw is used to dishing out the epic blocked shots, but he just got it bad from Matt Barnes and his many, many, many, many, many tattoos. Yet still, it's all Portland, 33-24 Blazers.

5:45 - Well it was bound to happen, better now than later. The Warriors claw their way back, and the lead, which was once 17, is down to eight. 38-30 Portland.

4:07 - Does Steve Blake know that he is actually Steve Blake? Dude forgot that he usually only scores 7 points per game. He has doubled that and still has yet to miss a shot. 43-33 Portland.

1:15 - And that's bad. Brandon Roy is down. It doesn't look too good. I doubt we see him again tonight. Replays shows that he landed from a pass at an odd angle and then folded up completely while down on the court. 50-37 Blazers.

0:08 - Boom! Steve Blake cares not for Brandon Roy's mangled body. He just hits back-to-back threes and that is 20 points for him in the first half. 56-41 at the halfway point.

Third Quarter:
The official word from the team is that Brandon Roy has a "hyper-extended knee and may return." You heard it here first. Or on the radio. Or TV. You heard it here third.

12:00 - Brandon Roy has returned! So if you have any doubts on the debate of Brandon Roy: Human or Super Human? You now have your answer.

9:11 - Well it was bound to happen. Stephen Jackson gets his first technical of the game. He had two, and was tossed, last time these two teams met. He'll be tossed tonight as well, just a matter of when. 66-43 Blazers, biggest lead of the night.

5:44 - Good lord. The sleeping giant of Martell Webster has awoken. He now has 16 points, 8 in this quarter alone, and the Blazers are up 76-53.

3:58 - And now, after a career night, Steve Blake goes down. They better pull the starters, this team can't afford to lose him. It looks like he was (accidentally) kneed in the back of his leg by a sprinting Monta Ellis. 78-58 Bruised Blazers.

0:00 - With a dozen minutes left, a battered Blazers squad is holding tight to their 20 point lead, 84-64 Portland.

Fourth Quarter:
10:35 - Jack to Roy to Outlaw, and so goes the fast break. A couple more points and it's 88-66 PDX.

8:37 - Will Portland make this a 30 point lead? It's headed that way. 96-71 Blazers.

6:46 - Free Taco Bell Tapas for everyone! Sergio Rodridguez hits a three and it's 101-78 Portland.

5:31 - Raefists rejoice! Raef LaFrentz is coming into the game. Joining him is Taurean "T-Money" Green, who is playing for only the fifth time this year. 101-80 Blzrs.

2:53 - What's a Raefist to do? They pulled Raef before he gets in. It's all garbage time. The Blazers are coasting to 12 straight wins at home. That alone is unbelievable.

Erik Sten defied expectations this afternoon by appearing to win over the majority of 150 hostile Old Town neighbors at a meeting to discuss his proposed