Live from a sold out Rose Garden as the Portland Trail Blazers takes on the Cleveland LeBrons Cavaliers. It’s odd walking the halls and seeing so many people in #23 Cavs replica jerseys, the kids these days sure do love that Zydrunas Ilgauskas fellow. Oh, he’s #11. Then who is #23? Oh, this guy. Crap.

Pre-Game:
Cleveland is red hot, having won 10 of 12 this month, including their last five on the road. Meanwhile, Portland is finally well-rested, after Sunday's dramatic Brandon Roy-fueled victory.

Also, since Bron Bron is in the house, us bottom-feeding bloggers have been sent to the dreaded press annex in the 200 section. My usual seat is being warmed by someone from ESPN, I hope they don't mess up my shit. Watch your back, ESPN, I'll be back.

WAAAAAAA, my free seat is not as good as it usually is. WAAAAAAA!

First Quarter:
9:25 - LeBron with a monster alley-oops dunk, and it's ugly early for the Red & Black. 6-2 Cavs, with the Blazers shooting a whopping 14% from the field.

7:47 - Boom goes the Gorilla, as Przybilla dunks home a basket the Blazers desperately needed. They are getting good looks at the basket, just not putting the ball through it. 11-4 Cleveland.

6:38 - LeBron with a brutal dunk. Wow, that was ridiculous. It looked like a video game. On the other end, Brandon Roy scores with a less fancy, but equally as impressive drive, layup, and foul. It won't make the highlight reel like James, but Roy is holding it down. 13-7 Cavs.

4:50 - Hey, they woke up. Steve Blake with a long-range jumper, and then Martell with a three-point bomb, and all of a sudden there is a new leader on the scoreboard. 16-13 PDX.

3:01 - Hey Steve Blake, why don't you just hit that three pointer and make it a 22-15 lead. Ok, thanks.

1:49 - Larry Hughes with a jump shot, oh, tough break. I guess that website is right. 27-17 Blzrs.

Second Quarter:

10:49 - Channing Frye seals his own fate with a dunk. Have a safe trip to Jersey. God, I hope they don't make that deal. 31-24 Portland.

7:39 - LeBron is everywhere. He just swatted a Jarrett Jack shot into the seats. We are all witnesses. 33-31 Portland.

3:55 - Channing "Trade Bait" Frye with a layup, and a foul. Meanwhile, BRoy is lighting it up (11 points so far) for the nationally televised audience. The All-Star reserves are announced later this week, so if he is going to make it, tonight is a good night to outshine LeBron. 43-36 Blzrs.

1:11 - Cleveland coach, and Al Roker lookalike, Mike Brown just gave the officials a stern finger-wave, which you just can't do. It's rude. Technical foul. 48-40 Portland.

0:00 - 48-42 Blazers at the half. LeBron tweaked (or worse?) his ankle and disappeared into the locker room before the half, which—you hate to say it—is very good for the home team. Also, it's good that the Blazers are shooting an embarrassing 33% from the field, yet still have 48 points at the halfway point of the game. Usually, you shoot that poorly, you are losing by double digits. Oh, and tonight's halftime show? A wacky juggler. They sure do pull out all the stops when ESPN rolls into town.

Third Quarter:
8:02 - Al Roker is forced to call timeout, as the Cavs come out of the break a little sluggish. But LeBron is back on the court. Maybe he needed to change into a different pair of shoes. 57-46 Portlandia.

5:51 - Martell Webster with a breakaway dunk attempt, but he muffs the ball, but thanks to a lucky bounce Roy is there for the quick layup. It might not be pretty, but everything is going Portland's way right now. 62-52 PDX.

3:02 - BronBron keeps hurling up the ball, and missing, which reminds me of how bad Cleveland is. LeBron is amazing, he's just saddled with a weak supporting cast and a coach that looks like a fat weatherman. 66-53 Blazers.

0:00 - Sergio tries for a floating runner, but it rims out. It has not been graceful, but LeBron already has 20 points and is single-handily keeping the Mistake By The Lake in this game. 68-62 Blazers.

Fourth Quarter:
10:56 - Sergio Rodriguez and The Vanilla Gorilla get a little symbiotic. Sergio with a slicing drive, and Pryzbilla cleans up the mess with a two handed dunk. Things are not looking good for the swashbuckling Cavaliers. 74-64 Portland.

6:57 - Sergio hacks LeBron's billion dollar fingers. Well, there goes his shoe deal. 76-68 Blazers.

4:51 - If there is a BronBron nickame, I am starting a BroyBroy one. Roy drains the jumper and keeps Cleveland at bay. Now where the hell is his shoe? 79-70 home team.

2:56 - Oh yeah, he's that good. LeBron hits a pair of three-pointers, and suddenly the Cavs are back in this game. 81-78 Stumptown.

2:26 - LeBron for three, again! It's all tied up. 81-81. This quarter LeBron has 15 points, and the entire Blazers team has 15 points. Insane.

0:53 - Blake misses a three. Not good. LeBron can't finish on the other end. Blazers still up by one with 15 seconds to go. Roy misses a three and now Cleveland has a chance to win this game, one that they were never really in, with 4.9 seconds left. I wonder who they gave it to? 83-82 Blazers.

0:04 - OH FUCK! LeBron drives, makes a ridiculous move and scores. Wow. He is amazing. I hate him, but he is amazing. 0:03 seconds left. Blazers need a miracle, but this game is all but over. Wow. 84-83 Cavs.

0:00 - The pass falls short, and the Cavs win a game they were never supposed to win. Last year, this is a game Portland would have easily lost. But this year, things are different, or, they should have been. This was a very disappointing loss.