So what happens in Oregon when one protected species starts eating another protected species? You shoot one of them in the face. That’s the plan being considered now by scientists and anglers who are fed up with rampaging sea lions gobbling up salmon as they queue for the escalator over the Bonneville Dam.

One of the victims of the infamous San Francisco tiger attack now admits that he and his friends were yelling and taunting the tiger like a bunch of drunk dumbasses. Low and behold, they turned around to see said tiger leaping at them from behind a bush. Perhaps we should just chalk this up to natural selection.

Obama is now yucking it up in Las Vegas with a stand-up routine that has audiences laughing, as he pokes fun at Clinton and political double-speak.

And the world of chess is kind of saddened by the death of oddball chess master Bobby Fisher. “Chess is war on a board,” he once said. “The object is to crush the other man’s mind.” Too true, Mr. Fisher, too true.

-Jenny Furniss