• Terminally ill founder of Monster.com admits to stock fraud—and cuts a deal with the government to stay out of jail. Some guys have all the luck! (If you don’t count the cancer.)

• “A study by two nonprofit journalism organizations found that President Bush and top administration officials issued hundreds of false statements about the national security threat from Iraq in the two years following the 2001 terrorist attacks.” No “S”, Herlock.

• The federal government is desperately looking for a way to jolt the nation’s economy out of its upcoming crisis. May I suggest burrowing to the center of the earth and setting off a nuclear bomb? (Raise your hand if you got that joke.)

• The Heath Ledger autopsy report has been released, and… it’s inconclusive. In ten days we should know more. In the meantime, condolences are rolling in from all over the world, but as far as celebrity deaths go, here’s a note that was found at his front door (along with flowers) that sums it up pretty well: “I couldn’t find anything bad about you.”

• However, I can think of a bad thing or two to say about Best Buy, who put up the sign below in one of their stores only hours after Ledger’s demise. Death, where is thy profit?