Blogtown, PDX

Thursday, January 24, 2008

News Good Morning, News!

Posted by Wm. Steven Humphrey on Thu, Jan 24 at 9:24 AM

• Michelle Obama stands up to those criticizing her husband, saying, “The one thing that is clear is that when power is confronted with real change, they will say anything.” I don’t know about you, but that gets me hot.

• The MacBook Air has been officially deemed a flop—so will all you Mercury employees who want one, please SHUT UP.

• In order to jump start the economy, Democrats and Republicans have reached a tentative agreement with the White House to provide tax rebates to businesses and families with children. Sorry, barren hipsters! Unless you pop out a kid, no iPhone for you!

• An investigation has discovered that Washington, DC city employees have been looking at and downloading a ton of porn, including nudie photos, movies, the Portland Mercury, and… HEY!! WAIT JUST A MINUTE!!

• Who you gonna call if you find Heath Ledger’s lifeless body? Instead of an ambulance, how about Mary-Kate Olsen?

• A new report shows that newspaper websites (like this one!) are saving the ailing newspaper industry. However, it should be noted you will NEVER see the “HomosexuWhales” on the New York Times website!!

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Comments

Umm, the tax rebate article says right in the first sentence that you don't have to have a kid to get the rebate.

Posted by DemonJuice | January 24, 2008 10:19 AM

Good catch, but it also says that families WITH kids will get substantially more. So sorry… but STILL no iPhone for you!

Posted by Wm. Steven Humphrey | January 24, 2008 10:22 AM

Don't get me wrong, if the guvmint sends me a check, I'll happily spend it like a good American. I am puzzled though...how exactly will this help the economy? Increasing the already incomprehensibly large budget deficit so that everybody can go buy more made-in-China plastic shit? Any economists out there that know what they're talking about and can explain?

Posted by jason | January 24, 2008 10:25 AM

The MacBook Air has been officially deemed a flop—so will all you Mercury employees who want one, please SHUT UP

Man, that was quick.

It's been out, what, a whole week now?

Of course, I don't the idea of having no optical drive on it. That just don't seem right somehow.

Posted by Samuel John Klein | January 24, 2008 10:26 AM

Is giving more money to people with children--be it in the form of an economic stimulus package, welfare, child tax credits, or otherwise--fair to people that have consciously decided to not have children? I ask that as a parent of a small child, so maybe I should just shut up and take my extra $300.

Posted by martin | January 24, 2008 10:36 AM

No, it's not fair to people who consciously have decided not to have children (in fact, those people should get more money and literal incentives for not having children.) But the whole rebate thing in general is a considerably terrible thing to do anyways. A.) it's an election year and it's only being implemented to help the administration (both current and pending) look like they have or are fixing the economy. B.) It's an undeniable short term solution. C.) Historically, people have and will SAVE the money, thus contradicting the catalystic spending approach presented.

That said, I'm going to buy drugs with mine.

Posted by Two Vandals | January 24, 2008 11:56 AM

I demand a reward for not having children!

Wait, that is the reward.

Posted by Hula | January 24, 2008 12:08 PM

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