The U.S. is going to try something new in Iraq—asking permission to continue fighting. That request is at the top of the U.S.’s list of demands. Riiight, so we’re going to demand to ask permission to continue fighting a war. That makes perfect fucking sense.

Bill Gates announced a new farm aid plan at the fancy-shmancy billionaire’s salon, the World Economic Forum, in Swizerland. He pledges to donate $306 million to small farms in poor countries.

Barricades have been set up around the funeral home where a private viewing of Heath Ledges’ body will take place today. Police now say that the masseuse called Mary Kate Olsen three times before calling 911.

A new study shows that taking the pill greatly reduces the chance of ovarian cancer—even decades after you stop taking it. Bada-bing!

-Jenny Furniss