First, this just isn’t fucking natural, alright?

Second, thanks to WWTDD? for pointing out this excerpt from Kathleen Turner’s new tell-all autobiography. In reference to Cage, she writes:

He caused so many problems. He was arrested twice for drunk-driving and, I think, once for stealing a dog. He’d come across a chihuahua he liked and stuck it in his jacket.

Okay, actually, that’s amazing. Props, Nic. But then things get depressing. Kathleen continues:

For years, whenever I saw him, he’d apologise for his behaviour. I’d say: “Look, I’m way over it.” But I haven’t pursued the idea of working with him again.

When did Kathleen Turner start spelling everything like she was from 1857 London? And also: C’mon, Kathleen. You are fooling no one. Sure, Cage might be in nothing but crap at this point, but it’s ludicrously successful crap. Meanwhile, I’m pretty sure Turner’s just sitting at home, desperately trying to get another Romancing the Stone flick into production. (Michael Douglas won’t return her calls.) But you can be damn sure if Nicolas Cage stopped jamming Botox needles into his weird-ass robot face for five minutes and asked her to be in Ghost Rider 2: Still Ghostin’!, she’d be all over it.

But yeah. Anyway. Back to the point: Does Nicolas Cage look creepy now or what?