Like ripping off a Band-Aid, it’s always best to get the bad news out of the way first. Here it is: The peeps who got us the movie times for the Academy Theater gave us the wrong times this week. So those Academy times that’re in the paper this week? Uh, yeah. They’re wrong. That fucking sucks, I know, because everyone and their mom (and especially your mom) knows that the Mercury’s movie times are easily the most thorough and reliable in town. So even though mistakes like this only happen in the Mercury every once in a great while, we still regret the error.

The good news, however, is this: Via Found It!, we’ve got the current Academy times all updated and reliable.

And! Now also seems like a good opportunity to brag about our constantly-updated coverage of the Portland International Film Festival—we’ve got a ton of reviews of stuff that’s playing at PIFF this year (even more online than in the paper), and all of it’s easily accessible via (you guessed it) Found It! and our listings for the Northwest Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium and Broadway Metroplex. Check out our web-exclusive reviews of films like Operation Filmmaker, Silent Light, Shotgun Stories, Snow Angels, Romulus, My Father, and more.

Again, sorry for the fuck up. As a certain Cloud City administrator would say, “It’s not my fault!” Which it isn’t. But hey, at least this movie times business is just kind of inconvenient and annoying—it’s not like we’re, you know, pretending to be your friend while surreptitiously tricking you into getting tortured by Darth Vader or anything. Man! Lando Calrissian! What a jerk!

The mayor wannabes weigh in today on what to do about Peak Oil.

Last year the city adopted recommendations made by the Portland Peak Oil Task Force but little action has been taken. If one of the major solutions to global warming and peak oil is to reduce energy consumption and with it, reduce growth, how would you as a city commissioner approach this goal knowing that the business community prefers an unsustainable status quo?

-Jonathan Brandt
SE Portland

Slav Davidson pledges to turn 1/5 of the roads into food-producing gardens, Jeff Taylor calls out Mayor Tom Potter for “little ideas but also… little action,” Craig Gier keeps it simple and “promise[s] to do what ever it took to make this a better place,” and James B. Lee says he almost certainly “the lowest carbon footprint of any candidate for Mayor.” Sam Adams talks about the work he’s done at the city with private business “partnering to prepare Portland for a post-Peak Oil economy,” and Sho Dozono cites his business experience operating “with great concern and respect for environmental issues” and says “not all businesses are the remorseless status quo mongers you suggest.” Touché!

Oh yeah, and Kyle Burris is “in a mood” and calls out the other candidates for “an endless sea of safe, almost liberal complainings, and vague, rehashed planings all designed to try to keep this fundamentally fucked up system of ours from crashing to the ground, and killing everyone who would never think of getting out of the way.”

First up, Slav Davidson, back from a short hiatus:

Vladislav Davidzon
Position sought: Mayor
Website: ourportland.org
Public financing status: Not participating

I am the only candidate running on a platform (www.slav4pdx.com) focused entirely on sustainability who also has the business experience combined with a very clear understanding of sustainability and permaculture to make the significant changes needed. I am the only candidate who feels equally comfortable in a corporate boardroom as I do getting my hands dirty on an organic farm, and I understand the challenges and the resulting opportunities better than any other candidate running for Mayor.

What is good for our environment is good for our economy. It is truly that simple, and it is deeply unfortunate that so many managers and CEOs are missing out on the tremendous financial opportunity that the sustainability movement presents to their bottom line. I have built two businesses fundamentally focused on doing the right thing for the environment as a means towards generating profit and I passionately
believe that business and environment ought not stand at odds with each other. My track record is clearly outlined on my website at www.slav4pdx.com .

I am the only candidate running on a platform of localizing our economy through a small business grant program. We need to seriously look at localizing our economy through creating a local Cascadia currency, a project I would undertake as one of my first priorities in office. We simply must look at how we can keep our money local and increase the “multiplier effect” of each dollar spent by leveling the playing ground for small, local businesses and creating a thriving economy.

We must also look at how we can localize our food supply. The fact that we truck most of our food from thousands of miles away while living in one of the most fertile places in America is simply stupid. As mayor I would look towards creating a truly localized food system modeled on that of Cuba through partnerships with local farmers and creation of a huge network of community gardens.

I would like to look at where we can create public gardens where today there are roads. As Mayor, I would start by limiting down 1/5th of city streets to public transit, pedestrians, and bikes while turning much of that space into community gardens and parks.

By applying principles of permaculture design we can look at creating a thriving living system bolstered by a truly local, living economy. We can maximize the green space in the city, but use it not just for lawns but for growing organic food. I believe that most public space is simply utterly wasted today by being paved — we need to gradually undo the pavement and allow the seeds to sprout.

What makes my candidacy different is that I have actual hands-on experience successfully combining profit-making and sustainability. The two are not at all mutually exclusive, and we simply need to apply basic principles of permaculture towards building a truly green, sustainable city with a thriving, living economy. My website at www.slav4pdx.com outlines all of these ideas.

At the end of the day, let us make no mistake — we are facing a massive crisis; yet the Chinese symbol for crisis is the same as that for opportunity, and we have an incredible opportunity to build a better, more tolerable, just and sustainable world. The choice before us couldn’t be any clearer.

Best regards,

Vladislav

Jeff Taylor
Position sought: Mayor
Website: portland123.com
Public financing status: Participated, has not submitted any contributions

Dear Jonathan,

When I ran for Mayor in 2004, I was frustrated at the lack of concrete ideas given by the so-called top two candidates. Well, one of them won, and not only has there been little ideas but also like you said little action.

Here are the actions I proposed in 2004 that are as practical now if not more.

1. I visit all the major corporations to see if their employees could drive to Portland at not the peak rush hours but stagger their work hours.

2. Try to get companies to offer flex time and incentives for working at home but still getting as much or more work done as employees don't have to sit in traffic.

3. Stimulate small business especially green small business and make Portland a desireable city for small business to come here. I would set up a small business action team in City Hall to bring in and help existing small business especially ones that are focusing on green projects.

4.. Use the Willamette and Columbia Rivers like we did here in Portland 150 years ago for transport. I would advocate with the business community to have ferries and water taxis that would transport people to work and also be an entertainment vehicle in the evenings and weekends for a permanent source for funding of schools, public servants like police, fire, and the like.

Hope you see these as actions not just political vague talking. Thank you for your questions in your interest in our fair city.

HAD ENUFF?! VOTE JEFF!!

Jeff Taylor
Candidate for Portland Mayor

Craig Gier
Position sought: Mayor
Website: myspace.com/craiggierformayor
Public financing status: Not participating

I'm running for mayor, but if I were a commissioner I would decide in the best interest of the city and enviroment. It would be my promise to do what ever it took to make this a better place.

Jim Lee
Position sought: Mayor
Website: blogmayor.com
Public financing status: Not participating

Might seem a little smug on this one.

I own two bicycles (both yellow), one bus pass (color varies), and no car (transparent, like Wonder Woman’s airplane).

I live in Woodstock-Mount Scott neighborhood, which is flat for a mile in all directions and so is easy biking for coffee, library, groceries and nearly everything else. House is a 900 square foot 1950s bungalow with not so bad weatherization, gas furnace and gas water heater.

Do I have the lowest carbon footprint of any candidate for Mayor?

Almost certainly!

Sam drives a GMC pickup!

OK, I do belong to Flex/Zipcar, which is the paradigm of personal motorized transportation. We need to work with Flex/Zip to expand its locations--only recently did one show up in Woodstock. But our future must be completely beyond fossil fuels
for personal transportation, at least in urban/suburban locations.

In a decade we should see the Flex/Zip model morph into electric-only cars, which are recharged at their staging locations, usually overnight, when other demands are low. This model has been thoroughly studied and has tremendous potential.

So we must plan for this, which I shall do as Mayor. Please read my blog entry (blogmayor.com) on acquiring control of PGE, which will be essential to implementing our urban electric transportation for the future.

Here I must praise Ray Polanyi, who foresaw an all-electric system of transportation for Portland forty years ago. If anyone is responsible for our progress in public and private transport, it’s Ray!

By the way, the fewer cars we drive and the less oil we use the more money stays at home, where it can be applied to really useful things, like efficient housing. This is because we neither make cars nor produce oil locally. Check this link for our “green dividend” calculation. Also--fixies rule--especially if they are yellow!

Sam Adams
Position sought: Mayor
Website: samforpdx.com
Public financing status: Not participating, capping contributions

The recommendation by the Peak Oil Task Force, which was comprised of a broad base of community representatives, has instigated real action in reducing our dependence on oil. They, like me, believe the need to reduce energy consumption does not necessarily require reduced growth. Instead it requires strong leadership to guide us towards truly transformative growth.

We have begun to create viable, everyday alternatives to personal auto dependency. Consider, for instance, the bicycle. Congressman Earl Blumenauer rightly calls the bicycle the most sustainable and efficient urban travel tool ever created. As a city, we have steadily invested in bike lanes and other tools over the last 20 years. As a result, ridership has continued to grow and has exploded in recent years.

Events like last weekend’s North American Handmade Bicycle Show, where the fire marshal temporarily denied entrance due to overflow crowds (7000 in attendance total), demonstrate how our local bicycle industry is flourishing in ways that reduce our collective carbon footprint. (Congratulations to Portland’s own Ahearne Cycles for their ‘Best in Show’ commuter bike.)

Local apparel companies like Nau are choosing to headquarter in Portland to create pioneering business models. Nau has become a national leader through innovation in shipping, offsetting, fabrics, packaging, multifunctional products, reduced inventory and incentives for their employees to use alternative transportation. Their growth model depends on reducing their carbon footprint.

In both cases, the City of Portland used its resources to assist these efforts. There are many, many similar examples where the City and its business community are partnering to prepare Portland for a post-Peak Oil economy. I am extremely confident in the values and ingenuity Portlanders bring to these challenges. As mayor I will lead the city towards greater investment in these strategies. This is our future.

Kyle Burris
Position sought: Mayor
Website: site not up yet
Public financing status: Not participating

Yeah, I'm in a mood today. Here's my response.

I'll be honest; I'm getting a little tired of these Blogtown posts. We've got about 20 different people, running for four different. And somehow, then all manage to come here each week, and say the exact same thing.

It's become an endless sea of safe, almost liberal complainings, and vague, rehashed planings all designed to try to keep this fundamentally fucked up system of ours from crashing to the ground, and killing everyone who would never think of getting out of the way.

I can't tell where one post ends, and the next begins. I have no idea who any of these candidates really are. What are their politics or their priorities? I don't know what differentiates any of them from their opponents, and I'm not sure they do, either.

So, what, you want to talk about Peak Oil now? Well, as every one else has already covered, ad nauseum, we need to start turning our buildings into cute little power plants. We need to grab one of these over educated yuppies that seem to be flooding the city, and pay them to draw us a logo of a happy little office building. We'll stick it on a letter-head, put some kind of catchy title under it and send it out to all the press. This will do wonders to curb our usage of greenhouse gases.

As you know, the Portland Peak Oil Task Force has released a report calling for us to "Reduce total oil and natural gas consumption by 50 percent over the next 25 years". This is a good start, but it doesn't go far enough. As mayor, I promise that I will build more task forces. These task forces will release more reports. And I promise you, people of Portland, these reports will call for new and better things!

I promise a report calling for the reduction in crime. I promise a report calling for reduced housing prices. I promise a report calling for more alcohol consumption. And I promise a report calling for everyone to get laid!

Together, Portland, we can make these reports. We can make the change!

Sho Dozono
Position sought: Mayor
Website: shoformayor.com
Public financing status: Received initial certification for public financing today

Reducing energy consumption and controlling growth to ensure a sustainable future for Portland will be top priorities for me as Mayor. And I would argue that not all businesses are the remorseless status quo mongers you suggest when it comes to the environment and sustainability issues.

For almost thirty years, I have led a small business with great concern and respect for environmental issues. In 1996, Azumano Travel transitioned to paperless ticketing, and in doing so, we significantly reduced our dependence on paper. Twelve of our branches now meet the requirements of the City of Portland, Office of Sustainability, RecycleWorks Program. We are currently under consideration for their annual RecycleWorks Award. Azumano Travel has 9 Green Tags from the Bonneville Environmental Foundation, which is equivalent of 9,000 kilowatt hours of electricity, representing an offset of approximately 12,600 pounds of carbon dioxide. We are currently undergoing a comprehensive plan to eliminate fluorescent lights and move to power reducing bulbs. At Azumano we did all of this because it's the right thing to do. And Portland is full of other examples just like us. As Mayor I will make sustainable businesses the "business community" that is held out as an example to others. I will invite and encourage and reward businesses who strive to go beyond the status quo and help lead us all to a sustainable future.

I agree with the City of Portland¹s Peak Oil Task Force recommendations of supporting land use patterns that reduce transportation needs, promote walkability, as we simultaneously bolster our mass transit system. The Task Force correctly notes that it will be much less expensive to pursue these strategies now than in a decade or two, when materials and transportation costs are likely to be higher. Finally, all of Portland¹s efforts to reduce energy consumption will be not be enough to help the region without state and federal legislators pursuing viable, progressive energy policies, such as investments in alternative energy sources.

We must recognize that although Portland¹s borders will not change, the city's population will grow in the next decade and beyond and so will the demand for energy. As Mayor I will make energy conservation and reduction in consumption a high priority, educating the public and lobbying state and federal legislators to pursue policies that preserve and protect our environment. Reducing our individual and collective carbon footprints cannot be done overnight by declaration or by desire. As Mayor, I will serve as a tireless advocate for reducing our energy consumption as we rebuild Portland into the successful sustainable envy of the Pacific Northwest.

Sho

Beryl McNair
Position sought: Mayor
Website: none
Public financing status: Participated, did not submit any contributions

Did not respond by deadline.

This just in from the Sho Dozono campaign:

Dozono notified the Secretary of State’s Elections Division today that his campaign would amend state campaign finance reports to account for the receipt of polling information, prior to his becoming a candidate in the Portland public campaign financing system.

[Campaign Manager Amie] Abbott said, “After several discussions with both the City Auditor and the State Elections Division, Sho determined that the most transparent action was to report the poll as a contribution to the campaign committee. Sho also decided to pay for the poll himself, even though he received this poll information prior to the time he had decided to qualify as a publicly financed candidate. He felt that was the best way to ensure the campaign remains as free of politics as possible. Our campaign experienced some confusion because of the different interpretations between the state and city laws, but hopefully this has opened up a valuable discussion for other political novices considering entering public service.”

The Dozono campaign also reports that the city counted “3,763 valid qualifying contributions” toward public financing, and in the letter outlining Dozono’s initial certification, elections officer Andrew Carlstrom reiterated the auditor’s interpretation of whether or not the poll should count against the $12,000 in-kind contribution cap.

“Since there was no overt, objective action establishing that your name was or was expected to be on the official ballot as a candidate defined in City Code Section 2.10.010 D on the date you received the poll results, your receipt of an in-kind contribution (poll results) prior to your becoming a candidate has not counted against the $12,000 contribution limit…”

“Portland began financing campaigns for City offices in order to open elections to individuals who otherwise would not run. It was not intended to create unreasonable hurdles for those individuals who never ran for office before and want to carefully consider the possibilities and difficulties of becoming a candidate. Individuals should have the opportunity to explore the possibility of becoming a candidate before being
considered in the public campaign financing system.”

I wonder if this will put the issue behind Dozono. I still disagree with the auditor’s interpretation that the poll doesn’t violate the in-kind cap (my read is that the cap is a cap, period, regardless of when you joined the public financing program), and Dozono’s paying for the poll himself reads to me like an attempt to remove the in-kind question all together.

Except that Dozono recorded it as an in-kind, from himself to his campaign, to the tune of $27,295.00. But barring a complaint that forces some sort of a hearing at the city level, it’s looking like the in-kind cap question is closed.

There are two new issues, though, thanks to this turn of events. One, Dozono recorded the poll in-kind as December 21—or 19 days before the campaign committee was registered on January 9. State election law says committees have to be formed within three days of accepting a contribution, though. State law also says contributions have to be recorded within 30 days of receipt—which puts this amended report at 27 days late. Dozono could be fined for either or both issues, though reporting fines aren’t all that unusual for political campaigns.

Kudos to The Recent Future for digging up the novelization of my favorite camp flick of all time, Road House, starring Patrick Mother-effing Swayze. What’s so amazing about this particular book-inspired-by-the-movie, is that it’s nearly a shot-by-shot recreation of the actual film, peppered with unintentional hilarity (just like the movie). Check out this hilarious sample which perfectly describes the scene where Wade (Sam Elliott) arrives at the Double Deuce just in time to save Dalton (Swayze) from getting the shit kicked out of him.

Wade and Dalton been in tougher spots than this, that’s for sure. “How’s it going, Mijo?” he asks.

“Mind your own business, Dad,” Morgan says to Wade with a smirk. He’s obviously not familiar with the ancient Chinese saying “An Aging Tiger is Still a Tiger.” And this tiger’s about to roar.

Morgan returns to assaulting Dalton as the Big Guy approaches Wade. Wade is giving up a foot and 20 years, but he doesn’t look scared. Wade probably should have been a factory recall, because he was built without a sense of fear.

“Do you wanna fight, dickIess?” the Big Guy asks.

Wade, always quick with a clever comeback, says, “I sure ain’t gonna show you my dick.” Before the Big Guy can recover from the verbal blow, Wade hits him with a real one, punching him in the crotch. Wade then kicks the outside of his right knee, which sends the man to the ground with a sickening snap. No matter the size, if you take out a man’s knees, he’ll crumble.

“Oh, shit!” he screams out as he clutches at his leg and roles around on the ground. Wade looks down with a smile, brushes back his hair and says, “Goddamn, that hurts, don’t it?”

Somebody please! Where can I find this wonderful book??

This lecture at Reed tonight is kind of a big deal. Performance/visual artist Nick Cave is best known for his “sound suits,” like the one pictured above:

Nick Cave created his first Sound Suit in 1991 as a response to the
beating of Rodney King in Los Angeles the same year. Cave was both
horrified and fascinated by the event, specifically by the LAPD’s
descriptions of King, which characterized him as an unpredictable,
threatening beast. Cave’s first Sound Suit consisted of a huge swarm
of twigs; it surrounded his body like a talismanic buffer, rustling as
he moved. Cave has since made hundreds of performative
sculptures—floating worlds exploring cultural politics, identity,
masquerade, and spiritual presence. For Cave, the Sound Suits
reference the past as much as the present, embodying African American
history and his personal experiences as a black male. Cave inserts his
artistic investigations into public spaces, creating happenings in
which groups of people wearing Sound Suits mysteriously appear and
interrupt daily life. —Stephanie Snyder

Nick Cave
Friday, February 15, 6:30 p.m.
Vollum Lecture Hall, Reed College
Followed by a reception at with the artist the Cooley Gallery from
8:00-10:00 p.m

The Drive-By Truckers are on autopilot. Or, I guess, cruise control. Regardless, every year, you know what to expect from the Athens band: Kickass live shows, new record not quite as good as their older ones, and more kickass live shows. While DBT aren’t resting in their Wranglers, ever since the departure of Jason Isbell last year, the band seems a little off. At least they seem that way on their latest, Brighter Than Creation’s Dark, but onstage the band is untouchable, one of the best guitar-based acts around.

While it’s not a new song, I’ve been obsessed with “Lookout Mountain” (from ‘04’s The Dirty South) for such a long time, I feel that it should be posted.

The protagonist of the song is about to hurl himself off Lookout Mountain—it’s a real place—but before he crosses over to the other side, he is racked with confusion, guilt, and a whole lot of questions.

Who will end up with my records?
Who will end up with my tapes?
Who will pay my credit card bills?
Who’s gonna pay for my mistakes?

All good points, but the song’s most enduring line come later:

If I throw myself off Lookout Mountain who will ever hear my songs?

I don’t know why that single line effects me the way it does, but every time I hear it, I can’t help but think about someone on the cusp of death, wondering if their art will ever be noticed, or even heard, when they are gone.

MP3:
Drive-By Truckers - Lookout Mountain

End Hits: And you thought our favorite suicide song was Third Eye Blind’s “Jumper.”

In a recent study asking who the Worst Person Who Ever Lived was (I swear, I read it somewhere), film snobs rated Michael Bay second only to Joseph Goebbels. I’ve never been able to summon much Bay-tred myself, mostly because I’ll readily admit to enjoying Bad Boys and The Rock and Transformers, and also because it just seems ridiculous to hate on the dude when he’s clearly just making fun, disposable blockbusters. Fuck, I’ll loudly bitch with the rest of them about action flicks that are genuinely offensive, but how the fuck anyone can get mad at a dude whose movie stars this thing is beyond me.

ANYWAY. Bay’s starring in a new Verizon ad, and even film snobs think it’s pretty great, and as FilmDrunk notes, “If only his movies had more of this sense of self awareness they’d be much more, well, awesome.” Agreed. Now if you’ll excuse me, I believe Bay is making some ridiculous statements about Transformers 2.

Don’t get me wrong: I love the Japanese. However, it’s a scientific fact that certain cultures just should not be allowed to have pizza. THEY SIMPLY DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH IT. For proof, please watch this commercial, and then help us stop the Japanese—before they try to eat pizza again.

Check out our video of Wednesday’s English Dept. bridal show!

For local fashion over on M.O.D.

Matt Slessler, your favorite local gafly and host of the Mercury’s very own pop culture podcast show Pure Pod for Now People, has put together The Mother of All Music Trivia Contests, which is happening tonight at the Low Brow Lounge. Says Slessler:

This is the 3rd installment! If you haven’t been to one of my music trivia contests yet, it is very casual. You walk in, I give you the quiz, and you sit around either by yourself or with a group and try to answer some of the most ridiculous minutiae about music, while having a drink and eating mini corn dogs and tater tots.

There are tons of prizes and we reward those for creative answers, even if it involves my mom or cats.

The Mother of All Music Trivia Contests, Low Brow Lounge, 1036 NW Hoyt St, 6pm - 8pm, TONIGHT.

In a battle that easily eclipsed the drama of the petty “Obama vs. Hillary” squabble, the Mercury Valentine Cookie Poll has finally come to an end—and what an exciting matchup it was! As you clearly remember from yesterday, the Mercury staff was charged with decorating the best valentine cookie. The top five were then selected and presented to the public for a vote to decide who was the best cookie decorator. (Click here to see the finalists’ cookies!)

As in all elections, alliances were formed, dirty tricks were dealt, and tears were shed. Early in the afternoon, the polls indicated an early lead for Alison Hallet’s “My Cat (or why Alison remains single)” and Wm. Steven Humphrey’s “I Like Three-Somes.” However, at around 5 pm, the pug contingent showed up at the polls, heavily supporting Monet Molina’s “Pug Love” cookie. Fringe voters weren’t enough to save Tonya Hise’s “Rob Thompson (A view from behind)”—which she blamed on the voters’ inability to see the butt crack in the photograph. (Take it up with the Secretary of State, Tonya.)

HOWEVER! Everything changed at the seven o’clock hour when Marjorie Skinner’s “Ejaculating Vagina” cookie surged ahead in the polls (buoyed undoubtedly by the drunkards and deviants who always seem to arrive late at the voting booth) and engaging Monet’s “Pug Life” in a night-long battle of give and take.

At 7:30 pm, Wm. Steven Humphrey conceded his campaign, asking voters to switch their support to Marjorie’s “Ejaculating Vagina.” However, it wasn’t enough, as Marjorie’s “Ejaculating Vagina” dried up in the early morning hours after a rough night-long workout, and Alison’s “Cat” scratched her way back to the top! But when push came to shove, could a cat beat out a pug in America’s eyes? LET’S SEE THE FINAL RESULTS!

So with all precincts reporting, and after 311 votes were cast, congratulations to MONET MOLINA’S “PUG LOVE” cookie for winning the Mercury’s “Design a Valentine Cookie” Competition!

You may now begin to whine and moan in the comments below about how Marjorie’s “Vagina” and Alison’s “Cat” were robbed, and the entire poll was rigged. OR EVEN BETTER? Play “pundit” and try to explain why Blogtownies voted for one cookie over another!

Anyone who has read the Oregonian’s hack Sports columnist John Canzano knows that the guy is unintentionally hilarious, a shrill localized version of the schmaltz of Mitch Albom plus the panicked sensationalism of Stephen A. Smith.

But Conzano’s column this morning is one of his finest works, and by “finest works,” I mean a shameless ride upon his majestic moral high horse in which he pointlessly demands the retirement of injured Blazer Darius Miles. While he touches on a few of the reasons Miles has fallen from grace, his primary rational is that Miles hangs out at the Dolphin II, and enjoys the “NBA lifestyle.”

How dare an NBA player enjoy the lifestyle that comes with the job. I’m sure Canzano’s enjoyment of the “sports journalist” lifestyle is totally innocent and pure.

Now, arguing in favor of Darius Miles is like convincing your mother not to get back together with your father, and instead stay with her new drunken boyfriend who drives a forklift and loves NASCAR.

No one likes Miles.

His mom probably likes Brandon Roy more. But he isn’t running for office, and he hasn’t done a goddamn thing wrong in the past few years. If you demand an injured Miles hang up the sneakers for not helping the current team, or living up to his potential, you might as well ask Greg Oden to retire as well. What has he done?

Instead Canzano rants about Miles’s alleged behavior in a strip club with the same tired moral superiority that is usually reserved for those clowns who stand outside the unbuilt Planned Parenthood on MLK with large photos of aborted fetuses. Strip clubs are not illegal. Young men—yes, even professional athletes—attending such clubs, and having a good time, is not something you should even mention in your column. It’s none of your fucking business. Act like a grownup and let Miles’ actions on the court decide his future, and please do not assume that your quasi-racist, puritan values, resonate with all Blazers fans.

As far as I am concerned Canzano, much like Miles, is fair celebrity game. So if anyone spots his shimmering bald dome doing anything morally reprehensible, let us know. We will then report it with the same condemning nature he usually reserves for Miles.

Also, if you want to read some of Canzano’s most appalling work, please check out his awkward attempt at a tear-jerker about a homeless man, and his “hip” take on urban rap music.

1.OFF HIS MEDS!! The campus shooter in Illinois, I mean. Of course, they don’t know what “meds” he was taking. But let’s go ahead and take this opportunity to stigmatize mental illness, regardless.
NUTTER: DEADLY…LIKE ALL NUTTERS…JUST ASK HITLER…

2.RECOVERING THE SATELLITES!! No longer content to remain the title of a so-so Counting Crows album, the US government has decided to recover a dangerous satellite of its own before it crashes to earth, by shooting it down. Tell me that’s not going to be a bundle of fun for the person pulling the trigger.

3.NEWSROOM CUTS!! 100 to go at the New York Times. Still, who gives a fuck about the news, anyway.

4.THIRD WORLD COUNTRY!! As in, the US is, according to New York’s billionaire mayor, who also says giving people checks to try to stimulate the economy is “like giving drink to an alcoholic.”

5.CHECK-MATE!! One of Hilary Clinton’s most prominent black supporters switches allegiance to Obama. This comes as a shock, since I seem to remember having a conversation about three months ago with Amy Ruiz, where she was raving about John Edwards’ chances. I seem to remember being mature about the whole thing, saying “I don’t care what you say because Obama is going to win and I’m not listening.” Still, there’s nothing like the sweet taste of being right, AND being a complete asshole about it.

Good day.

This week on Easier Than Reading—your weekly music podcast that’s sort of like reading the music section of the Mercury… only easier—join your host Andrew R. Tonry as he serenades you with his harmonica skillz and fills you in on what shows you need to check out this week. Plus hear tunes from bands including Foreign Born, Six Organs of Admittance (pictured above), Basia Bulat, St. Vincent, and MORE! Listen here.

Annnnnd, here’s the race for Sam Adams’ seat. You know the drill.

Last year the city adopted recommendations made by the Portland Peak Oil Task Force but little action has been taken. If one of the major solutions to global warming and peak oil is to reduce energy consumption and with it, reduce growth, how would you as a city commissioner approach this goal knowing that the business community prefers an unsustainable status quo?

-Jonathan Brandt
SE Portland

Chris Smith
Position sought: Commissioner #1
Website: citizensmith.us
Public financing status: Awaiting certification

The question includes an incorrect premise – the report does not call for a reduction in growth. What it does call for is reducing consumption of certain fossil fuels by 50%. From the executive summary:

1. Reduce total oil and natural gas consumption by 50 percent over the next 25 years.

Interestingly it does not include coal (which has not peaked, but contributes significantly to global warming). As Commissioner I would work to reduce all non-renewable energy sources. In fact, I would set an ambitious goal to convert Portland and the rest of our region to 100% renewable, carbon-neutral energy in 15-20 years.

To achieve this we need to frame this not as a question of sacrifices or limits, but of investment. Just as we invested after WWII in a system of national highways that propelled our economy (and unfortunately some very unsustainable land use patterns) and as we invested in the ‘60s to put a man on the moon, propelling innovative technologies, we need a major program of investment in renewable energy (solar, wind and local biofuels) and investment in a pattern of development that supports reduction in energy use.

While some of this depends on national policy, there is a lot that we can drive right here. More than a third of our carbon footprint is from transportation and another third is from buildings. Cities have significant control over both. Portland is already a leader in smart growth, alternative transportation and sustainable construction. We need to take all of these to the next level. In doing so, we can build a green industry cluster in our region that will fuel our local economy as we sell that knowledge, technology and service to the rest of nation and world.

Growth will actually be part of the solution. As we gain 300,000 new neighbors in Portland over the next 20-25 years, we’ll keep redeveloping the City to accommodate them by adding more housing and jobs along transit corridors, building additional transit capacity and making all of our City more friendly to walking and biking. The result is that things will be a lot closer together! Even if you live in a single-family neighborhood adjacent to a transit corridor, there will be lots of goods and service available to you – in walking or biking distance – on that more populated transit corridor. We won’t need to drive as far or as often as we do now, and even for longer trips we’ll have more alternatives to driving alone. We’ve already seen it – in this region each of us drives fewer miles than we did ten years ago.

And the business community will find more than ample opportunities in this investment program. There may be grumbling, but smart business people recognize when the status quo no longer provides opportunity for them and look for new opportunities. And they’ll produce green jobs in the process.

As a transportation and neighborhood activist, I’ve been working on these issues for more than 10 years, not just because they head off big future problems, but also because they contribute to livability now. As Commissioner I’ll keep moving this agenda – farther and faster.

Amanda Fritz
Position sought: Commissioner #1
Website: amandafritzforcitycouncil.com
Public financing status: Certified as a publicly financed candidate

To combat global warming, energy consumption, and every other challenge Portland faces, the first step is for each one of us to take ownership of the problem and responsibility for our own part of the solution. City Commissioners, business owners and workers, and individuals all must play significant roles. No one sector - government, business, or residents - is solely at fault, nor alone capable of correcting centuries of pollution, degradation, and waste. I will work with my colleagues on the City Council, staff, businesses, and every Portlander to implement immediate practical solutions to this urgent problem. The excellent Peak Oil Task Force Report adopted last year lays out the goals and strategies needed. I posted specific Action Agenda proposals to meet those goals, on my campaign blog several weeks ago. Actions for addressing oil dependency I will start by prioritizing funding for services that are basic to the City's core mission of providing amenities for citizens in every neighborhood, including:

* Sidewalks to schools so parents don't have to drive
* Safe bicycle routes and facilities
* Excellent bus service within walking distance of every home, working with Tri-Met to expand transit service and hours and decrease fares to increase ridership
* Affordable housing close to jobs so people are commuting shorter distances

Providing these services will help everyone reduce energy consumption. As each Portlander does his/her part, political pressure will mount to address major pollution sites where emissions far surpass domestic output. We should consider Cap and Trade systems, which are agreements between government entities that give polluters credit for reducing emissions then allow them to trade the credits to polluters failing to meet the Cap. A successful Cap and Trade scheme adopted on the East coast in 1990 reduced sulfur dioxide emissions by 80%. The Western Climate Initiative in which Oregon participates is setting up a similar system to control carbon.

I will work with business owners and citizens to raise standards reducing pollution and energy use. Better regulations, more incentives, and improved enforcement are needed. Good jobs with living wages are important, and they don't have to be at the expense of the environment and the health of our planet.

Actions needed to address Peak Oil and global warming range from personal lifestyle tweaks and funding of basic public services to wonky policy and Big Picture changes. Using the words of Randy White, Peak Oil advisor (see endorsement on my blog), I will provide the voice of leadership that empowers and encourages all our citizens to take part in making Portland sustainable, based on cooperation and smarter policies.

Jeff Bissonnette
Position sought: Commissioner #1
Website: portlandersforjeff.com
Public financing status: Awaiting certification

Reduction of energy usage and increasing efficiency of usage has been a long-time goal of the City of Portland, even before the Peak Oil Task Force. The task force's work simply underscored the importance of reducing energy use and increasing energy efficiency. First, let me outline what my top priorities as commissioner in this area would be:

1) Sponsor a resolution to refer a measure to the ballot removing the prohibition in the city charter of mandatory weatherization programs for buildings built before 1979 without a public vote.

Very few people know that the city charter currently disallows the city from establishing a mandatory weatherization program for buildings built before 1979 without first passing such a program on the ballot. While a proprosed program would likely be approved, the more important question is why such a prohibition exists in the first place. Portlanders need to be asked to remove this obstacle to making our existing building stock more energy efficient, thereby saving millions in energy costs and reducing energy usage.

2) To demonstrate city leadership, establish a requirement that all city owned or controlled buildings must reduce energy usage by at least 30 percent by 2015.

This parallels work I have been doing at the state level to require state agencies to reduce energy usage. Public agencies need to walk the talk and show the way as they work with residents and businesses to help reduce their energy usage. Currently, the discussions at the state level call for a 20 percent reduction in energy usage by 2015. Portland should be able to muster the political will, technical know-how and public support to do more.

3) Create incentives for the design and construction of "net-zero" buildings and put Portland on a path to issue building permits only for net-zero buildings by 2020.

"Net-zero" buildings are those that generate as much energy as they consume and operate on a carbon neutral basis. Design, building and operation of net-zero buildings is an exciting development in the clean energy world. Since buildings account for 40 percent of energy consumption nationally, by having buildings not only reduce their energy usage but also act as their own power plants, we can address both peak oil and global warming much more effectively. Similar efforts are already well underway in cities like Boulder, CO and Austin, TX and Portland needs to establish a leadership role in this sector.

4) Establish a "Green Jobs Corps."

This initiative would mirror one being undertaken in Oakland, CA to create a job-training pipeline connecting workforce development initiatives with emerging clean energy job opportunities. It would require a a collaboration among community-based organizations, unions, the City of Portland and private companies to provide Portlanders with job training, support, and work experience so that they can independently pursue careers in the new energy economy. The workforce is not in place to meet the rising demand in the clean energy and green economy sectors. By investing in its workforce, Portland can establish itself as the hub of these sectors and provide an economic foundation that can anchor our local economy for the next decade or two.

Second, I would like to challenge the blanket statement that "the business community prefers an unsustainable status quo." Although my recent experience in the state legislature with big polluters resisting a legislative proposal to simply collect information on carbon emissions would suggest such a statement to be true, my discussions with many businesses on the local level demonstrate that it is not. Businesses recognize that we are operating in a rapidly changing environment and that their customers and clients are increasingly aware of the need to operate in a more sustainable manner. Indeed, simple bottom-line financial analysis by many small business owners is highlighting the need to explore new ways of doing business. In just the past month, I have heard proposals from business owners that parallel many issues raised by the Peak Oil Task Force:

• increasing delivery service to customers to reduce the amount of the fee that will be required by the new Safe, Sound and Green Streets proposal for customer trips to a business;
• exploring zoning changes so that housing, shopping and workplaces are closer to one another;
• establishing a "village" approach to development to highlight specific amenities in various parts of the city but ensuring that those amenities can be accessed by multiple modes of transportation, not necessarily depending on cars alone;
• finding more efficient delivery methods of freight and goods to stores;
identifying improved local markets for goods and services;
• and the list goes on.

Many in the business community want to be part of the discussion on how we can respond to peak oil and global warming so that they can continue to make a living while making a difference and be responsive to their customers' wishes. Advocates for addressing peak oil and global warming who ignore that willingness by the business community do so at their own peril.

John Branam
Position sought: Commissioner #1
Website: john4pdx.org
Public financing status: Awaiting certification

There is absolutely no doubt that the dangers related to climate change, as outlined in the Peak Oil Task Force Report, are real. Portland's, and America's, reliance on fossil fuels (particularly foreign oil) not only adversely affects our natural environment, it has the legitimate possibility of destabilizing our regional economy as well as our national security. Dependence on that which we cannot produce locally is growing increasingly problematic.

For these reasons and for their efforts I applaud the recommendations made by the Peak Oil Task Force and I strongly urge their implementation. Cities must be the focal point for fighting global warming, and we cannot afford to wait while senior governments delay action. The good news for Portland is that we have led the way among American cities, and our experience thus far helps us see the opportunities we have by taking responsibility for action.

Our response to peak oil and to global warming should be the same: use less energy and use better sources. For buildings, our challenge is making investments in advanced energy efficiency, clean energy technologies, and clean, district-scale infrastructure. Each of these efforts alone is an investment, which would produce a financial return. Progress has been slow, in part because building owners have not shown a willingness to make these investments.

The City can play a leadership role in order to make these investments attractive to the right investors through policy direction and by creating a more attractive scale for investment. If we know we need to make these investments across the city over the next 20 years, we can create the framework today and chart our own future. This role is something only cities have the ability to do, and the good news is that doing so will bring substantial investments in exactly the kinds of activities that we want. Further, this proactive approach will be much more effective for us than waiting for mandates to be handed down from federal and state government.

Portland has been a leading city in the U.S. when it comes to addressing the challenges surrounding our transportation systems. We have been working with other levels of government to reduce dependence on the car, and we have only begun this effort. In addition, we can accelerate the pace by which vehicles convert to clean energy technologies by fostering better integration of vehicles into our energy infrastructure. For example, hybrid vehicles already are shifting to electricity (see pluginpartners.org). If we know that vehicles, especially those that could serve our neighborhoods, are going to plug into our buildings and power grid, what if we created a program to make this happen faster? Again, these investments are going to have to be made, so we could benefit by understanding this and making our city the most attractive place in the country for these investments.

The direction I see Portland taking is to turn this challenge into an economic development strategy for the next 20 years. We import virtually all of our energy, which means we get almost no economic benefit beyond what consuming energy allows us to do. If we capture the economic benefits of advanced efficiency and energy producing technologies, our economy will grow and we will create new jobs. The influx of solar and wind companies into Portland and Oregon is evidence of what the future could hold for us.

Already, many of our Portland businesses are rapidly growing as a result of programs and policies that have focused around sustainability. In fact, many of these emerging companies have begun to organize around the issue, such as those that participate in PDXLounge. Businesses around the world know that Portland is a place for leadership. I would encourage these efforts by providing the leadership and needed capacity.

Instead of fearing the changes that we know are coming, we should embrace these directions and recognize that using less energy and better forms of energy can be good for us. But we have to be strategic and leadership must come from Portland's elected leaders.

Portland has the opportunity to define its own future. Currently, the City's Office of Sustainable Development is preparing two new sets of policies. Commissioner Saltzman has already proposed a new Green Building Policy that will focus on the reduction of carbon pollution created by the construction and operation of buildings. Later this year we will see proposals for an updated, more aggressive Global Warming Action Plan. Combined, these two initiatives could become a blueprint for how cities can transform their built environment.

It is pivotal for Portland to continue to lead the nation in our response to global warming for the natural environment we all cherish and our economic vitality. Future leadership at City Hall must make this a priority, regardless of portfolio assignments. I am committed to doing just that.

Charles Lewis
Position sought: Commissioner #1
Website: charleslewis.com
Public financing status: Certified as a publicly financed candidate

Actions speak louder than words – especially when coming from would be politicians. In addition to founding and running Ethos Music Center, my wife and I also own a green business called Portland Duck Tours. This emerging small business uses an amphibious bus to give land and water tours of Portland and the surrounding area.

Sarah and I started this green business based on a Triple Bottom Line philosophy that gauges business success based on financial, environmental, and social impact. We could have purchased a much cheaper amphibious bus that ran on conventional gas, but decided to use a vehicle capable of running bio-diesel so that we could minimize the impact of our tours on the environment. The manufacturer’s warranty only covered a bio-diesel blend of 5%, but we wanted to run on 100% bio-diesel, so we intentionally voided our warranty. Our new vessel cost three times as much as the old gas alternative, and we took a considerable financial risk by voiding our warranty so that we could use a more environmentally friendly fuel.

It’s easy for would be politicians to say how they will impact other people’s businesses – it’s another matter to actually run a business while making socially and environmentally sound business decisions. I’m the only candidate in this race who has actually run a small business. When I’m on City Council, I will work with Portland’s business community to help our community reduce its dependence on fossil fuels in some of the same, innovative ways I have while running my own business. Working together, we can establish a more just, equitable, and sustainable community. Find out more about our efforts online at www.CharlesLewis.com

Well, shit. Because the universe hates me and loathes my happiness, I knew my excitement over that badass Indiana Jones teaser would have to be balanced out by some crappy news. Stupid Variety.

Paramount is pushing back the release of J.J. Abrams’ Star Trek from Dec. 25 to May 8, 2009, saying the pic’s gross potential is greater as a summer tentpole.

Heh. Tentpole. Well, anyway, at least I’ve got Turist Ömer Uzay Yolunda to tide me over until 2009.

Goddamn does that “Kaptan Kirk” dude creep me out. Shudder.

Since we here at the Mercury hate to work (especially on national holidays like Valentine’s), today we competed in an office-wide challenge entitled, “WHO CAN DECORATE THE BEST VALENTINE COOKIE?” We were provided with several Betty Crocker icings, sprinkles, gumdrops, and… what do you call those icing pencil things? Those icing pencil things. Then we went to work on a bunch of plain heart-shaped sugar cookies. Upon completion, we lined them all up, and had our new art director Mark Searcy pick the top five. Which he did!

NOW IT’S YOUR TURN TO JUDGE! Which Mercury employee decorated the best Valentine cookie? Is it…

Cast your vote below! Polling ends at 10 am tomorrow (Friday) morning! First place winner will receive a new Cadillac. Second place? A set of steak knives. Third place—THEY’RE FIRED. (And though I know Blogtown readers are generally a shy lot, feel free to leave a more detailed critique of these cookies in the comments below.)

OUR COOKIE POLL IS NOW CLOSED. THANK YOU FOR VOTING, AND SEE THE RESULTS HERE!

I was out yesterday, so here’s a double header of candidate questions. First up is the race for Erik Sten’s seat, with our reader’s question:

Last year the city adopted recommendations made by the Portland Peak Oil Task Force but little action has been taken. If one of the major solutions to global warming and peak oil is to reduce energy consumption and with it, reduce growth, how would you as a city commissioner approach this goal knowing that the business community prefers an unsustainable status quo?

-Jonathan Brandt
SE Portland

Here’s Nick Fish, followed by Ed Garren, Jim Middaugh, and Harold Williams Two.

Nick Fish
Position sought: Commissioner #2
Website: nickfish2008.com
Public financing status: Not participating in program

Preparing our city for the implications of Peak Oil is especially daunting in light of the estimate that the Portland Metropolitan area will add approximately 1 million new residents by 2025. The major challenge we face is to add these new citizens while we sustain the livability that Portlanders love and expect. Unlike the past, this new wave of Oregonians cannot rely on a carbon intensive lifestyle. The city’s response to the projected effects of Peak Oil goes hand in hand with its action plan to address Global Warming.

Carbon Dioxide does not respect city boundaries. Every citizen is connected to the air we breathe and the water we drink. This is why I support the recommendations of the Metro 2040 Growth Concept plan. Portland needs to be more than a leader in developing regional solutions. We need to provide concrete examples of carbon reduction that other cities can follow.

Some estimates indicate that approximately 40% of greenhouse gasses are generated by carbon dependent transportation. Several of the recommendations of the Peak Oil Task Force focus directly on our transportation infrastructure. I will be a strong advocate for the greening of our transportation infrastructure by supporting:

• Mixed-use development with pedestrian-friendly “urban centers” throughout the region, especially along existing and proposed MAX and Streetcar lines and at other 2040 regional and town centers. If people live close to convenient and pervasive transit, they will use it.
• Increased integration of green energy generation by providing public education and incentives to encourage choosing alternative energy over carbon based power generation.
• Financial incentives to non-drivers and car sharing. I will propose the Portland expand the use of shared cars by allowing any shared car to park free at all times in metered parking areas.
• The Safe, Sound and Green streets initiative. Beyond badly needed street and transportation infrastructure maintenance, the initiative funds a number of critical initiatives for human powered transportation, especially a network of bike boulevards and increase integration of the bicycle with existing mass transit.

I am also keenly aware of the potential impact of Peak Oil on our citizens. I will advocate for smart density planning. Well designed communities can form the strong fabric of a social safety net when life becomes difficult. This is why I strongly support work of the Coalition for a Livable Future. The coalition is doing groundbreaking work to help policy makers rethink what makes for good neighborhoods by emphasizing Environment, Education and Equity as the core principles drive public policy and neighborhood planning. I will support a land use planning process that requires a sustainability and equity study as part of the existing planning process.

Finally, I will work to demonstrate that green public policy is also good for the bottom line. More businesses are beginning to understand that sustainable practices make good economic sense. Citizens are becoming better informed about sustainability and are demanding that their workplaces become greener. Portland is promoting, incenting and sometimes requiring green building standards. Builders are also discovering that green buildings make good economic sense. I will work to make Portland an international center for green building and industries. This will diversify the city’s job base and make Portland, and our region, the logical first place to apply new practices and technology.

As a Portland City Commissioner, I will support many of the thoughtful recommendations of the Peak Oil Task Force. Portland has made a commitment to reduce our carbon footprint. We must continue to approach policy decisions by asking a simple question: Will our choices result in a reduction of carbon consumption and greenhouse gases?

Ed Garren
Position sought: Commissioner #2
Website: edforportland.com
Public financing status: Participated, did not qualify

This is an important question, and the future of our planet depends on the answers we can commit to in the next 20 years. We are entering into a period of transition from a petroleum based economy to the next technology. I am pleased to mention that the treasurer of my campaign, Jeff Gerritsen, is a long term member of Portland Peak Oil and has offered comments and innovation with regard to Peak Oil issues in my campaign.

Imagine 1895 for a moment. It was a horse based infrastructure, along with the emergence of electric trolley's and coal fired steam locomotives. If someone had predicted that in 20 or 25 years, you would drive your wagon up to a metal box and pump a liquid into a tank, which would run a motor that would push your wagon without a horse, you would have that person committed for insanity. No one could imagine it. Today, we are staring at that same change point. We only know and see our current technology and cannot really imagine a world without it. The technology is available to make the change, but it is not yet familiar.

It will be necessary to reduce our usage of all carbon based fuels. World petroleum output is diminishing and at the same time more people want petroleum. But neither of these scenarios necessarily mean that growth must be reduced. What it means is that we must find ways to use different sources of energy that are sustainable, including wind and solar, in addition to our existing hydroelectric power.

Portland is very well situated in terms of available hydroelectric power. In addition, there are significant opportunities for wind generation of electricity. I recently attended a Portland Business Alliance breakfast forum and the president of Vestas Wind Energy (http://www.vestas.com/en) spoke about the tremendous wind resources that exist in the Pacific Northwest. He told us that Denmark is now generating 30% of it's electricity from wind power.

The company wanted to build a production facility in Portland, both for domestic production, and to export to Asia. Somehow, current leadership did not put the pieces together to bring the company here, so they are building elsewhere. We missed a great opportunity because someone was not thinking about the future.

The technology is also here to generate solar power. The city could require that all roofs in all new construction have as many solar panels on them as possible. There are also solar shingles, which are put on a roof just like regular shingles. Ways to encourage these sorts of roofs, which will return power to the electrical grid during daylight for other uses, like transportation, must be encouraged, if not mandated.

Also, there is a lot of business to be made building the new sustainable infrastructure that will be needed for the future. And there is every reason why Portland should be a place where that technology is showcased and produced. There are tremendous economic opportunities for growth in sustainable technology, but it takes some vision and some willingness to take risks on innovative ideas, along with a commitment to making the changes in attitude and action that will be necessary to facilitate a transition to a sustainable economy.

We should consider that an economy based upon "growth" is really an economy based on consumption and waste. This is the only model taught in many business schools, and it is an economic system that is doomed to failure. We can re-invent an economy based upon sustainability, and we can foster the growth of sustainable business and industry, but leadership must be flexible and willing to take some innovative risks to transition to new technology.

One specific example is public transportation. With our supply of electricity, and the prospect of wind and solar generation of electricity, we can consider replacing our petroleum consuming bus system with electric busses. The myth of Bio-Diesel is that it cannot replace our petroleum needs and it uses "surplus" food that we once shipped to poor countries. Also an LNG powered bus may be "clean" but it still creates Carbon Dioxide (global warming gas) and it is using a petroleum product that is a finite resource. Even if the electricity to power an electric bus is generated by a fossil fuel generator, the overall carbon emissions are less than with the individual engines used in each bus. If we increase wind and solar production, then the busses and battery autos can be powered from a sustainable energy source.

We can encourage and provide for "Plug In" Hybrid and a return of battery electric vehicles (see the documentary "Who Killed the Electric Car") which use significantly less petroleum than regular cars.

The Fuel Cell powered car is a "bait and switch" perpetrated by the petroleum industry. We can reject that experiment and utilize existing technology which is much more advanced than most of us realize.

New manufacturing and office buildings can be built which are "green" in their design and energy use.

We can specifically provide economic de-incentives with regard to carbon consumption (an increased auto/small truck tax based on engine displacement for example).

We can also create incentives to recycle more plastic. Plastic is made from petroleum and right now, tons of plastic "disposable" items end up in landfills. There is no reason why we can't start recycling virtually ALL plastic.

Portland has always been the leader in sustainability and there is no reason why we cannot respond to Peak Oil, Global Warming and get ahead of the curve on both. But it takes dedicated leadership, which will make long term investment in sustainable opportunities, rather than short term solutions which continue to use the obsolete technology of consumption and waste.

By taking a leadership position in new sustainable technology, Portland can have economic sustainability, and continued "growth" based in living in harmony with the planet, instead of exploiting and destroying it.

Ed Garren
www.edforportland.com

Jim Middaugh
Position sought: Commissioner #2
Website: middaughforportland.com
Public financing status: Filed request for certification last week

I support the recommendations of the Peak Oil Task Force. In fact, I am working now to advance them and I will continue to advance them when I am on the City Council.

Thanks to the leadership of Erik Sten the City of Portland is one of the only major cities in the world that can legitimately claim to have reduced its carbon emissions while hosting a growing population and a growing economy. Commissioner Sten is responsible for leading the City's efforts to address global warming.

Portland’s efforts to concentrate growth, promote renewable energy and conservation and to create alternatives to auto-based transportation are important to our past success. Continuing those policies will be essential but insufficient.

One of the commitments made by the Council when it adopted the Peak Oil Task Force report was to update the City of Portland-Multnomah County Climate Action Plan. As Erik's chief of staff, I've helped the City's Office of Sustainable Development develop the next update to Portland's Climate Action Plan. We've appointed a steering committee of local leaders -- many of them business leaders -- who are working as we speak to develop new recommendations for City and County action. Both the City Council and the County Commission unanimously endorsed the work that I’m helping lead.

One of the first steps I took was to bring City and County staff together in a partnership with experts from Oregon's universities to review Portland's progress to date and to identify the best next steps. The partnership also included transportation and climate experts from Environmental Defense, a leading, national environmental group. I also worked in partnership with Metro Councilor Rex Burkholder to convene Metro’s Transportation Policy Advisory Committee to work with the experts as well.

I’m proud of the partnerships I’ve built with regional officials and the best climate experts in our state. I am committed to building on those partnerships to ensure Portland remains a world leader in addressing peak oil and climate change. Specifically, I will work to improve the City’s performance in three key sectors – energy, transportation and land use.

Energy Use
I will focus on implementing the recommendations of the Peak Oil Task Force, which call for a 50 percent reduction in fossil fuel use by 2030. I will support efforts to provide incentives for development that exceeds local and state energy efficiency standards and to charge fees for those that don’t to pay for the incentives.

All buildings that use City funds should strive to meet the highest LEED standards for energy efficiency. Even affordable housing investments should seek the equivalent of LEED performance levels and the Council should ensure that adequate funds are available to protect affordability. We should not pretend we are saving money by scrimping on efficiency in the name of affordability when the costs of higher energy bills are simply shifted to the tenants who are least able to afford them.

I support the City’s efforts to ensure that 100 percent of municipal energy is generated from renewable sources. I took a half-time leave from my regular city job to help with the City’s effort to purchase PGE and bring it under public ownership. Although the city was unsuccessful, our efforts helped ensure that PGE was not sold to Texas Pacific.

I continue to believe that locally produced energy is the best way to ensure we focus on conservation and renewables. I support continued City involvement in the regulation of local utilities to protect ratepayers and to push for aggressive investments in clean alternative sources of energy.

Transportation
The city should be leading the charge in Salem for an increase in the gas tax to reduce fuel use and to fund transportation alternatives and maintenance projects. The City should continue to partner with local and Oregon farmers to create more biodiesel options and infrastructure.

As a matter of principle, people who drive the most should pay the most, with exceptions for lower-income people who have no other options. Pay-as-you-go insurance, sliding fees based on gas mileage, weight or fuel types should be investigated. The City should implement these policies where possible and support them when the authority to do so lies elsewhere.

I believe the city should investigate the possible use of congestion pricing and congestion fees to improve the efficiency of our transportation system, thereby reducing fuel use and emissions. Revenue generated should be used to support alternative transportation options, efficiency improvements for freight movement and fee waivers for low-income people who are required to drive.

Investing in more bike- and pedestrian-friendly routes and education, safety and enforcement also will be a key part of my focus on the Council. I’ve been a bicycle commuter for years. It’s an integral part of what makes Portland such a great place to live and coincides with many of my personal and policy goals.

It’s time for Portland to take the next step to meet the growing needs of Portland’s cycling community. A thorough bicycle master plan with additional bike lanes, bike boulevards and signaling is essential. Additional safety measures need to be identified and implemented at scores of dangerous intersections throughout town. Most importantly, bikes, walking, and transit all need to be factored into the City’s comprehensive plan and implementation strategies, not only to benefit our environment but also to help solve our transportation challenges and preserve neighborhood livability in the face of a growing population.

Portland’s efforts to be pedestrian friendly also need a boost. Especially in Southwest Portland where many neighborhoods have no sidewalks and growing areas in East Portland, a lack of adequate signaling and increased traffic are resulting in pedestrian and cyclist traffic fatalities — even one is too many. Children walk and bike to school far less than they used to, with safety a primary concern. I believe that walking and biking is an environmental issue and it is a fundamental part of a good quality of life. I will continue the push to make Portland friendlier to cyclists and pedestrians alike while also reducing conflicts between bikes and cars.

Land Use
More than 1 million people are projected to move to Portland in the near future. To keep our city livable I will fight for creative, equitable, effective policies and investments in our transportation system and changes to zoning and development patterns that give people the option to rely less on cars and more on other forms of transportation.

I will fight to ensure the new Portland Plan encourages the development of compact neighborhoods that allow people to make choices that don’t involve the need to drive and that include the potential for district energy programs and substantial use of solar and other renewable energy sources. I support policies that discourage excessive parking and that support the creation of complete communities that allow people to walk to work and to essential services, entertainment and recreation.

The Portland Plan also must ensure that as we grow more dense that adequate amenities like parks, schools, post offices, community centers, grocery stores and other services are incorporated into our plans so are City remains attractive and affordable for families, seniors and young members of the creative class – the backbone of our future economy.

In Closing
Portland has earned a reputation as a sustainable city. Far from being anti-business, sustainability is becoming the centerpiece of our economic development strategy. I will support PDC’s Economic Development Department in its efforts to grow local, sustainable businesses and to recruit new sustainable businesses to our city. I will support efforts to encourage all businesses to become more efficient. If incentives are insufficient I will be open to considering new regulations.

Our efforts to address Peak Oil and global warming will make us more livable and more competitive now and in the future. Our success to date has been based on actions that were smart to do for reasons other than climate change or peak oil – cost savings, livability, etc. It’s time to move beyond the actions that made sense for other reasons but also reduced emissions to actions that are aimed solely at addressing the twin threats of peak oil and climate change.

I am committed to leading the charge for those actions.

Harold C. Williams Two
Position sought: Commissioner #2
Website: none
Public financing status: Not participating in program

I would continue to help promote bike riding, public transportation, carpooling, walking, energy saving light bulbs, and exploring alternative fuel sources.

Tamara DeRidder
Position sought: Commissioner #2
Website: home.earthlink.net/~tdr4pdx
Public financing status: Participating, no contributions reported yet

Did not respond by deadline

Nick Popenuk
Position sought: Commissioner #2
Website: popenukisportland.com
Public financing status: Participating, 15 contributions as of 1/22

Did not respond by deadline

CoHo Productions, Fall Guy Theatre, Profile Theatre, and the Bluestockings all have either Valentine’s Day specials tonight, or do sliding-scale/cheap tickets on Thursdays anyway. I have seen none of these shows, but if pressed I’d say that Tales of Ordinary Madness at the CoHo would be my first pick. On paper, Fall Guy’s Big Rock Show sounds sort of… awful, but based on the strength of their recent production of The House Yes, I’m inclined to give that one a chance as well. (Plus, admission gets you drink discounts at the Aalto before the show. I like that.) As for the others: Our critic did not much care for Profile’s A Few Stout Individuals; and I know next to nothing about the Bluestockings show Dead of Winter save that it’s a couple of short ghost stories, it sounds pretty decent, and Followspot liked it. I’ll post all the show details after the jump.

Tales of Ordinary Madness, Coho Productions

Don't have a clue what to do for Valentines Day? Have you waited
until the last minute to get that special someone a gift or night out
on the town? Why not bring her/him to the show that the Oregonian
calls "a gem of audacious absurdism" Tales of Ordinary Madness at The
CoHo Theater. In fact bring her/him to the show this Thursday,
Valentines Day only and get in for $15.00 per ticket. That is $8.00
off the regular ticket price. Call CoHo Productions and give the
pass-phrase:
"I am all about Eve" and receive tickets for Thursday, February 14
showing of Tales of Ordinary Madness for only $15.00 per ticket.
Don't wait call now. The box office is open Monday-Friday from 1pm-
5pm or you can leave a message after hours with the pass-phrase in
your message and Faith will call you back.

Dead of Winter , the Bluestockings

Reminder: Thursdays for "Dead of Winter" at Performance Works Northwest are sliding scale/pay what you will. So if you want to spend a little "different" Valentines Day (and save a few bucks), please come check out our trio of ghost stories, co-produced by The Bluestockings and Pavement Productions. Showtimes are at 8:00, doors open at 7:30; call 503-777-2771 for reservations. Friday and Saturdays are $12 at the door, $10 with an advance purchase at http://theblustockings.com and $10 for students and seniors. Don't have plans for Valentine's Day?

The Big Rock Show, Fall Guy Theatre

Have plans, but aren't looking forward to them?

Flat broke?

Well, Fall Guy Theatre has the answer for you!

Pay-What-You-Will Valentine's Day Special

The Big Rock Show
starring Chicago's own Scotty Iseri, and Portland's own Joe Bolenbaugh

That's right, ladies and gents: This Thursday, instead of blowing
$200+ on chocolates and fancy dinners and champagne rooms, come spend
$5 for some wacky rock-n-roll high jinx!!

Come witness the show that Time Out Chicago calls, "The Lightning
Bolting-est rock parody around."

Songs about girls, songs about politics, songs about giant robots;
this show has something for everybody!! Give us a buck, give us a
bottle cap, we will let you in to the funnest show in town.

All the pertinent info is below. See you at the show!

XOXO,

Fall Guy Theatre

It's not theatre. It's rock-and-roll.

Okay, it's a little bit of both, but frankly, we're not sure quite how
to describe it.

It's The Big Rock Show, and it's come here to rock you!

Take punk-rock energy, political wise-cracking lyrics, special effects
a la Ed Wood, and the hottest sidekick since Jar Jar Binks and what
have you got? You've got Scotty Iseri and The Big Rock Show!! The
World's Smallest Stadium Rock Concert!

Straight from Chicago, singer/songwriter/sex machine Scotty Iseri
brings the greatest rock experience that has ever fit inside a beaten
up old backpack to its first extended Portland engagement. Did you see
him on his international tour last summer? Did you see him at Dante's
in '05 for his one-night-only engagement? Did you see his homemade
adult video on the Internet?

Well that was nothing folks, because THIS Big Rock Show features
all-new songs, a fresh-from-rehab Joe the Roadie (played by Portland
theatre ingenue Joe Bolenbaugh), and the first post-death performance
of Scotty's hit song "Jerry Falwell" on the Left Coast. THIS, my
friends, THIS is The Big Rock Show!

----------------------------------------------------------

Feb. 14–17 & Feb 21--23, 9pm RST (Rock Standard Time)
$10 admission, includes ticket to TBRS and special "all-access" pass*
(see below)
Box Office opens at 7:30pm
Theatre! Theater! 3430 SE Belmont
Tickets also available at www.fallguytheatre.com or (503) 223-4240.

----------------------------------------------------------

*When you get your tickets at the box office, you will also receive a
wristband that grants you all-access to join Scotty the Rock Star and
Joe the Roadie for pre-rock festivities at Aalto Lounge ( 3356 SE
Belmont St., 3 doors down from Theatre! Theater!).

Your wristband guarantees an exclusive discount on your drinks,
including $1 off taps and wells or a $4 special TBRS "Rock-tail," from
7:30 until showtime!

Also, you'll get a once-in-a-lifetime chance to hang out with Scotty
and Joe, get your CD/t-shirt/chest signed, and learn what it's like to
party like a Rock Star!!

A Few Stout Individuals, Profile Theater
Profile Theatre offers 2-for-1 tickets to you and your Valentine for
tomorrow, February 14.

There are only four remaining performances of "A Few Stout Individuals", and
in celebration of Valentine's Day, admission for 2 adults is $24, for 2
Seniors is $20, and for 2 Students is only $12.

Of the show, The Oregonian says, "The Profile production has much to praise,
including a cast that is strong from top to bottom and a set and costumes
that aid unobtrusively in the separation and blending of the imaginary and
the real. Andersen manages to portrays a drugged, demented, mostly mute old
man while also conveying all that Grant was -- his strength and weakness,
success and failure, joy and pain."

Please call to make advance reservations: 503-242-0080.

Cindy Lyndin

Director of Administration

Profile Theatre

PO Box 14845, Portland, OR 97293

(503) 242-0080

(503) 235-8089 (fax)

www.ProfileTheatre.org

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Ah, bicycle deaths, and their relative news importance depending on whether or not they happened in the suburbs or the city. That’s a horrible topic to contemplate, isn’t it. A really, truly, horrible topic to think about. But I’m thinking about it, now, thanks to Laura Pope of Beaverton, who writes:

I’m PISSED. A 15-year-old boy, Austin Miller, is KILLED while RIDING HIS BIKE home from school by a TRIMET BUS, and there is NO MENTION of this in THE MERCURY?

As a bicyclist, I understand the dichotomy between bikes and buses. They’re bulky giants, we’re pesky insects. They stomp around in our way, and they’re supposedly always on the lookout for us, annoyingly buzzing in their ear. Yet I always thought that in the end, we were working together. Sharing the road. Being environmentally conscious. All that talk of sustainability has been holding us together, however fragile that relationship may be.

I know what the roads are like for bicyclists out in Beaverton. After two years of fighting my way through downtown Portland traffic on my bike, I am scared to get on the main roads in Beaverton (even those with HUGE bike lanes, like the one that Austin was on) when it comes to commuting by bike. After all, they are most often used not by bicyclists, but by cars as a “second lane.” I honestly expect a car to hit me, whether I’m on my bike in Beaverton, or walking across the street, even at a stop light. After all, this suburb is dominated by car culture. BUT A TRIMET BUS? WHAT THE HELL???

Please, Mercury, use your relentless investigative prowess to put pressure on Tri-Met for the blood on their hands. What happened sickens me- and what makes it even worse is that this young man’s death is being virtually ignored by those who can bring this atrocity to the forefront and not allow for Tri-Met to continue to keep it “hush-hush.”

Sincerely,
Laura Pope
Beaverton, Oregon

Today is a very special day for our continuing series, “Your Friend, the ’90s.” Not only is it Valentine’s day, but today we’re going to feature one of the most romantic ass-shakers ever constructed, as well as one of my top five songs from the ’90s.
It’s Q-Tip’s 1999 barn burner “VIVRANT THING,” and this is one of the only songs I NEVER skip over when it comes on my iPod. I love everything about it—the production, the flow, and even better? As Q-Tip says himself, “This is some heartfelt shit,” and one of the most surprisingly romantic songs to come from the decade. You could do worse than having a relationship as good as he describes. (Ignore the strippers in the video, and just listen to the words. Then watch it again for the strippers.)

I love when Jack Bogdanski does backflips to avoid giving us props, and to keep up the impression that he’s so above reading Blogtown. (Because, you see, we’re mortal enemies, given that he’s a cranky ol’ curmudgeon, and we’re uberhip hipsters who are probably responsible for all of Portland’s troubles.)

Yesterday on his blog, he pointed out a new local blog on “Portland Gentrification and Other Problems.”

Wow, that really is a great quote Bojack appropriated for his headline. I wonder what the Portland Gentrification blog had to say about it?

MEANWHILE, a very pedestrian-friendly distance away on Hawthorne, local independent record store Jackpot has gotten the boot while we weren’t looking.

First profiled in the Mercury last month, the story related to the owner of Nick’s Coney Island cashing in his retirement chips, one of which was the building where Jackpot was. I have it from a well-connected source however, that rather than getting a 50% rent raise, as implied in the article, Jackpot’s rent was in fact doubled from $2,000 to $4,000 — and when they expressed hesitancy of the “can ya work with me” variety, they were informed by the new owner that McDonald’s-owned chain-horror Chipotle’s was “interested.” (the hypocrisy of course being that Hawthorne Central Command, on principle, banned the Golden Arches from their suzerainty some years ago - said principle being that black people like to eat at McD’s, I’ve always assumed).

Well, all’s well enough for Jackpot; they’ve moved to a less-more-expensive place down the street, making lemons into lemonade as it were. And here’s at least one bit from the comments under that link which has the ring of truth to it: “My commercial real estate friend told me the other day he hates to do it but he looks at Hawthorne and all he sees are bulldozers and dollar signs.” So says “Garrett.”

Yup. That great headline on bojack’s blog originally came from one of our dear Blogtown readers. (Thanks for the link, Portland Gentro, even if you “kind of hate” us.)

You can admit it, Jack. You’re a fan of what’s going on over here, even if you need to hide it by linking to blogs that reference us. Gotta keep up appearances! We understand. We won’t tell.

Another Mercury music section to read at the gym while you feel the burn with your personal trainer, the world’s smallest bodybuilder.

The Portland Jazz Fest ignored my suggestions about titling this year’s event, “39 Years of Jazzercise!” Instead they just booked some guy named Orenette Coleman. Whatever.
VIDEO: Ornette Coleman, live in Rome (1974)

Kay Kay and His Weather Underground are the biggest rock and roll alter ego since Chris Gaines captured the nation’s heart in 1994.
MP3: Kay Kay and His Weather Underground - Hey Momma

Little know fact about Foreign Born: Before they developed their stylish pop sound, the band used to be a Foreigner and Born Against tribute band called, well, what else, Foreigner Born Against. As you might have expected, they were terrible. The idea works on paper, just not on stage.
MP3: Foreign Born - It Grew On You (EP version)

How to go from grunge, to Blue Cheer, and back again, in three easy steps.
VIDEO: Blue Cheer, “Summertime Blues” (live)

Contrary to what Blue Cheer says, there is actually a cure to the dreaded Sumertime Blues, it’s End Hits.

Send an email like this to your newsroom, with the subject line, “fuck the glass.” As somebody, somewhere in the United States did, earlier this morning:

All I wanted to do at this newspaper is to do a good job. I came here because I thought it was a good newspaper. But, it’s not. It’s a good ole’ boys club made up of old white males. Nobody else has a voice.

This is a newspaper in which:

The city editor can verbally abuse another editor in the presence of the managing editor and nothing is done.
The managing editor in a news meeting slugs a potential 1A story as blonde bombshells - a story in which bombs were strapped on two retarded foreign women and sent into a crowd.
Male editors are allowed to talk about penis size during news meetings.
Editors call Hispanics wetbacks in news meetings.
Editors are proud to call blacks niggers in news stories.
A city editor gets his feelings hurt over coverage of a story and I’m penalized for it.
The managing editor is a bald face liar and the executive editor doesn’t give a damn.

So to “the glass,” I resign effective immediately.

Marilyn Mitchell

Look out! Grandpa’s got a whip! Well, it’s here, the new trailer for INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL. Though I’m not 100 percent convinced… who am I kidding? I am so there. Plus, I’m in the camp that believes LaBeouf is the only logical replacement for Short Round.

So? WHAT SAY YOU?

Metro President David Bragdon is picking up where Nick Fish left off: He’ll be hosting the Outlook Portland public affairs show on KRCW while Fish is busy running for city council. It’s “the biggest news in television since settlement of the writers’ strike,” Bragdon says, and he starts this Sunday morning. (6:30 am! Set that TiVo.)

He already has guests lined up for the next few shows, including singer-songwriter Stephanie Schneiderman, a Mercy Corps relief worker just back from Uganda, Brook Muller from the U of O architecture school on the university’s new Old Town building, and developer Jim Winkler on “the restoration of the old Daisy Kingdom” into the Museum of Contemporary Craft and other art galleries on the North Park Blocks.

One last note from Bragdon. He asks: “Do you think I could look just a wee bit like Conan O’Brien? Especially if viewers are still half-asleep?”

Well, can you tell who’s who?

(P.S.—Conan O’Brien once interned for U.S. Rep. Barney Frank, says Wikipedia. Fish’s first foray into politics was working for Frank. I think that makes three degrees of separation between Bragdon and O’Brien.)

Check it:

Since STRUT was founded three years ago we have continued to grow this event as a showcase for Portland designers and a benefit for equality in Oregon. Each year we continue to grow attendance and increase our fundraising for Basic Rights Oregon. With the success of the show and the rave reviews in the media (The Mercury, Willamette Weekly, Ultra, Just Out, PDX Magazine and The Oregonian), we continue to work on making this one of the premiere fashion events of the year! We would like to invite you to submit your designs for a spring fashion show to be held on Friday May 16th at the Wonder Ballroom. This is a unique opportunity to raise money for a great cause while showcasing your designs to the public at no cost to your company. A little volunteer time and help in distributing marketing materials are all that is required. We are looking to really showcase the diversity of designers in Portland and hope you will consider supporting Basic Rights Oregon while bringing something fun and different to the runway. To submit your designs for consideration , simply send two image samples of your work to StrutPDX@gmail.com along with your company name, contact name, contact phone number, a brief description of your work (50 words or less) and where your line is available for purchase by March 1st. After a quick review, our committee of industry professionals will contact those chosen for the show in mid March. Unfortunately, not everyone can be in the show due to the vast amount of talented local designers. If your company is not chosen and you would still like to be involved, there will be plenty of opportunities for volunteering, advertising and sponsorship!

And hey, as long as you’re submitting your designs, don’t forget this.

Sometimes words just can’t express how you feel about your valentine. That’s why you should get soul giant ISAAC HAYES to sing your words for you!

Hop over to this site, type in the lyrics to your love song, hit the “sing” button, and ISAAC FREAKING HAYES will sing your song! Then you email it to your lover, or even better, SEND IT TO THEIR CELL! Omigod, you are going to score so much tail tonight!

Be patient with this, it’s worth it! (Get more hot buttered soul at END HITS: the Mercury Music Blog.)

In honor of the sexiest day on the calendar (St. Jean-Baptiste Day is a close second), and the recently announced ‘Mats reissues, here is a little romance, Replacements-style.

If you were a pill, I’d take a handful at my will,
And I’d knock you back with something sweet and strong

MP3:
The Replacements - Valentine

End Hits: If we can’t have you, no one can.

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY, EVERYONE! (I wuv ooh.)

The U.S. claims to have intelligence that proves Iran is trying to develop a nuclear bomb. Says Bush, “Let’s see if I can squeeze out just one more war before I leave.”

The Pentagon is planning on SHOOTING DOWN a broken spy satellite! Yippee-ki-yi-yay, motherfreakers! Yeeeeee-HAW!! (Who’s bringing the beer?)

Whites, women and older working class Americans are finally coming around to the realization that Hillary’s really not all that awesome.

A gay teen shot in the head earlier this week by a homophobic classmate has been officially declared brain dead. UGH!

Star magazine is claiming that Britney Spears and douchebaggy BF Adnan Ghalib were secretly married in Mexico. OH, “LOVE!” I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!

Finally, a post on this blog that involves the word “police,” yet does not contain the following terms:

- “Independent Police Review”
- ” Fried By Cop”
- “pseudo police action”
- ” Rent-A-Cop”

Instead, it’s about The Police, as in the greedy great reunited pop act that is finally coming to Portland!

Well, technically, it’s Ridgefield, WA, at the Amphitheater at Clark County on July 11th, but that is close enough. And not only will you get a few hours of Police hits—and tantric sex tips from Sting—but the opening act will be Elvis Costello and the Imposters.

Damn.

No word on when tickets go on sale, but it’s safe to assume they will not be cheap. Anytime a tour is sponsored by a credit card company (from the press release, “Presented by Citi®”), you know it’s going to cost you.

End Hits: Our tantric sex tips don’t come with a Ticketmaster convenience charge.

There’s probably no point my reporting on this, because someone’s bound to change their mind again in a minute, but the homeless access center in Old Town now looks more likely, once again, to be going on Block U. Not block 25.

The two agencies set to develop and run the homeless access center in Old Town appear to have struck a deal with the Chinese Community to switch their recommendation to PDC over which block might be best to develop on.
BLOCK U: “Option 2…”

Until recently, both the Housing Authority of Portland and Transition Projects, Inc. were considering Block 25 as the block they were most likely to develop. But this evening, at a meeting of the Portland Development Commission’s board of commissioners, TPI board member Deborah Kafoury and HAP’s Deputy Development Director Mike Andrews recommended switching the development to Block U, outside Union Station.

Kafoury and Andrews justified the switch because it would be cheaper for PDC to develop on block U: The development would not need to be as tall, meaning a cheaper wood frame concrete construction method could be employed.

If the center goes ahead on block U, TPI would be able to build 220 housing units over 5 floors, have a night shelter including 90 beds, and a courtyard for off-street queuing. The center would be built by HAP using federal new market tax credits, in the same way as the new Morrison building on Burnside, next to PGE Park.

Steven Ying, president of the CCBA, spoke in support of HAP and TPI’s new recommendation.

There’s a catch: The Blanchet House, which is on Block 25, will not be part of the new development. It will remain where it is, on the corner opposite the Old Town Lofts. Also, neighbors are less likely to be able to bargain with the city and PDC for cash for other old town projects, in exchange for letting the center go on block 25.

PDC’s commissioners now have to make a decision on a site, based on input from the community, in 2 weeks’ time, on the 27th of February. Portland City Council then has to make a decision a day later, on the 28th, on where to site the center.

On recent history, it’s now anybody’s guess.

Ummmmm… SURE. WHY NOT?

Check out more “Scientist Valentines” right here!

UPDATE. Aaaannnnd…. never mind. Looks like it’s been yanked already. Because god forbid people actually watch a trailer for your movie, Sony Pictures.

***

Looks like an early redband trailer for the Seth Rogen/James Franco stoner flick Pineapple Express has leaked to ye old internets. Enjoy.

Commissioner Randy Leonard has slammed a report on the Independent Police Review, trying to shift responsibility for the review’s problems back to Potter, in an email sent to the mayor, and all elected officials, this afternoon.
IPR: Trust issues…

Essentially formalizing concerns Leonard voiced to the Mercury on January 31, the letter appears to suggest bias on the part of the independent consultant who conducted the report:

From: Leonard, Randy
Sent: Wednesday, February 13, 2008 4:18 PM
To: Potter, Mayor; City Elected Officials
Cc: City Elected Officials Exec’s; Raglione, Austin; Rubio, Maria; Doussard, John; Rhodes, Jessi; Kovatch, Ty; Petrocine, Sara; Blackmer, Gary
Subject: RE: Independent Police Review (IPR) Performance Report

Thank you for this memo, Tom.

I will not be in attendance at the February 28th meeting so I would like to share with you some of my thoughts on the IPR Performance Report along with some of my own recommendations.

Early on in the analysis being prepared by Professor Luna-Firebaugh, Auditor Blackmer met with me to discuss some concerns he had with the methodology being employed by Professor Luna-Firebaugh in developing her analysis. Auditor Blackmer also shared with me his concerns that Professor Luna-Firebaugh was restricting her community input to those who are critical of IPR while minimizing contact with those who may have a different perspective. As an example, he told me that while Professor Luna-Firebaugh met in person with various community groups for discussions relative to IPR she only conducted a five minute interview via the telephone with Portland Police Association President, Robert King.

Given those concerns, my office tried to set up a meeting with Professor Luna-Firebaugh, Auditor Blackmer and myself.

Professor Luna-Firebaugh refused to meet with me if Auditor Blackmer was present.

I went ahead and met with Professor Luna-Firebaugh. During our meeting I expressed disappointment that she would not meet with me if Auditor Blackmer was present. I explained that having them both in the room discussing their different perspectives may have allowed us to resolve any misunderstandings that may have existed between her and Auditor Blackmer.

She responded that Auditor Blackmer was not her boss, as she was under contract. I explained that my goal was to clear the air between them so that we could all move forward and focus on the work. As quoted in notes taken at the meeting, Professor Luna-Firebaugh told me that she had to draw the line somewhere as to who she would meet with and that if she had agreed to my wanting Auditor Blackmer present, she would be obligated to meet with all of the other Commissioner’s Offices with Auditor Blackmer present. She said it would be a waste of her time when she preferred to focus on policy.

I really did not know how to respond to that.

That experience has caused me to question Professor Luna-Firebaugh’s ability to employ objective analytical skills. Thus, I have serious reservations about the quality of her report.

Her recommendations notwithstanding, I do want to share with you my thoughts on how we might address the community dissatisfaction she identifies.

It is my view that as the elected official in charge of the police bureau, you and your office are the public’s ultimate advocate for making sure the police bureau interacts responsibly with all members of our community. I also believe the IPR is a valuable forum within which you and your office can manage complaints that inevitably arise given the nature of police work and the occasional misbehavior that occurs on the part of some police officers. Auditor Blackmer has responsibility for complaints but does not hold the authority that the Mayor’s Office does to order the police bureau to cooperate to resolve those complaints.

I appreciate and agree with each of the five recommendations you have made to Auditor Blackmer in your memo. However, I am not convinced that the Auditor is the only office that could oversee the operations of IPR. It is my view that IPR should be transferred to your office so that your recommendations can be fully implemented and the IPR Director would report to you.

I am not sure what caused the IPR to be transferred from the Mayor’s office to the Auditor’s office originally, however, I think it was a well intended move that really does not make a lot of sense.

As the elected Mayor of Portland and the commissioner in charge of the police bureau, it makes a lot of sense to me that you should have all of the forums and tools under your direction that allows you to manage the police bureau in the best way possible, but also gives you complete responsibility for overseeing complaints that arise from interactions the police bureau has with the public.

Thus, each of the recommendations you are supporting would be, if you agree with the transfer of IPR as I am recommending, a directive from you to the IPR director. Additionally, a staff person from your office should attend each of the IPR meetings to ensure that if something is not followed up on by the IPR committee, your office will make certain the issue is followed up on to the satisfaction of the complaining party.

I believe that this transfer should be a topic of further discussion that the council has after we consider the report from Professor Luna-Firebaugh. I am requesting that we schedule a subsequent council informal work session where we can discuss my proposal in more depth along with having the public share with us their insight into the council making such a change.

Thank you for considering my recommendation.

From: Potter, Mayor To: City Elected Officials Cc: City Elected Officials Exec's; Raglione, Austin; Rubio, Maria; Doussard, John; Rhodes, Jessi Sent: 2/11/2008 4:08 PM Subject: Independent Police Review (IPR) Performance Report Office of Mayor Tom Potter City of Portland

MEMORANDUM
February 11, 2008
TO: Commissioner Sam Adams
Commissioner Randy Leonard
Commissioner Dan Saltzman
Commissioner Erik Sten
Auditor Gary Blackmer

FROM: Mayor Tom Potter

RE: Independent Police Review (IPR) Performance Report

I am pleased that the performance evaluation of the Independent Police
Review (IPR) Division is complete. I know the entire Council places a
great value on independent police oversight, which is why this
evaluation was originally requested by the Adams-Sten budget team in the
FY2005-06 budget. This evaluation affords the Council an opportunity to
assess how IPR is meeting the needs of both the Portland Police Bureau
and the community it serves.

I especially would like to thank Auditor Gary Blackmer for his
dedication and hard work in overseeing IPR's work, and his passion for
improving the delivery of city services to all Portlanders. As the
report notes, no model of police oversight is perfect, but Portland has
much to be proud of in the important work IPR has already accomplished.

As Police Commissioner, I am satisfied that this
evaluation was conducted in a thorough and objective manner, and have
reserved a time certain for 2 p.m., Feb. 28, 2008 for a presentation to
the Council by the evaluator, Professor Eileen Luna-Firebaugh. As you
know, Professor Luna-Firebaugh is the co-author of the
nationally-recognized City of Albuquerque Oversight report (with police
accountability expert Professor Sam Walker, who assisted the City of
Portland in the original design of the IPR). Her methodology was
reviewed by the past President of the National Association of Civilian
Oversight of Law Enforcement (NACOLE) and Dave Fidanque, Executive
Director of the American Civil Liberties Union of Oregon, who stated her
approach is "expansive and comprehensive."

Below are recommendations (condensed) from the Executive Summary that I
believe give the Council an excellent starting point for our review of
IPR. I suggest these recommendations show that we have a good model
that is meeting the policy needs of the Police Bureau, and that IPR has
made major improvements in the investigation process and in
organizational change.

However, they also indicate specific areas for the Council to consider
for improvement:

*The Citizens Review Committee, our community's most direct voice
in police oversight, should have its authority to hear citizen's appeals
reinstated;

*The CRC should request IPR conduct investigations independent of
the Police Bureau where appropriate;

*The division's transparency should be increased by requiring
annual reports and an annual update to the Council by its Director; and

* IPR's services should be as widely known and understood as
possible by the community, with the division providing more public
outreach, education and culturally-specific assistance to achieve that
end.

Some of these recommendations will require additional resources for the
Auditor's budget, and I believe the Council must commit to providing the
resources to implement them. I believe others, such as calculating
sustained rates, are best addressed by the Auditor and his staff, who
have the expertise to further those discussions.

Here are recommendations from Professor Luna-Firebaugh I believe the
Council should give its closest attention:

*The Citizens Review Board should utilize its authority to hear
Appeals. We recommend that the CRC be granted direct authority to hear
requests for appeals, rather than requiring approval by the IPR
Director... We further recommend that the CRC determine in open session
whether such an appeal is appropriate.

*The CRC assertively identify issues, conduct studies and make
recommendations regarding the policies of the PPB. The Board should be
given the authority to direct the activities of (a) staff person in
regard to policy review and Appeals.

*The IPR Director and staff become more active participants in
complaint investigations. The Office of Independent Police Review
should exercise their authority under the Ordinance to conduct
independent investigations where the complaint is one of public import ...
the CRC be given the authority to direct the IPR Director to conduct an
independent investigation where the CRC believes not enough
investigation was conducted ...

*The IPR and CRC immediately develop and undertake an outreach
program to publicize the complaint process. ..."Know your rights" cards
and complaint forms be distributed to community organizations; that a
'user-friendly' poster explaining the IPR process be developed and
posted in Police Precinct reception areas and in community organization
offices; and that a speakers bureau be developed by the CRC to make
presentations and hold discussions in the community.

*Student organizations and law school legal clinics be encouraged
to host presentations by CRC members and IPR Staff and that students be
solicited to assist complainants in the writing and filing of the
complaints.

I look forward to working together to meet the expectations of our
community for this vital service.

It’s that time again!

The Mercury intern desk once again sits vacant.

We’re currently seeking an arts intern who can commit to 10-15 hours a week, Mon-Wed (Tuesday afternoons a must, other hours are flexible). Most office hours will be spent doing thankless bitch work such entering data into our online film and music calendars, updating our restaurant database, transcribing interviews, and writing the occasional blog post; there will also be opportunities to write short film and music reviews. The internship itself is unpaid, but you’ll be paid (a pittance!) for anything we publish. Plus, it’s a great way to get your foot in the newspaper publishing door, and have published clips when you apply for that job at the National Review.

Please e-mail resumes to ahallett@portlandmercury.com (include writing samples if you have them, or write a really kick-ass cover letter. Also let us know what kind of arts stuff interests you most!)

MERCURY INTERNSHIPS: The Toughest Job You’ll Ever Not Get Paid For.

Kudos to Mike Thelin at Portland Spaces for scoring this interview with the Stenster about Old Town’s planned Homeless Access Center. He addresses some of the main issues currently causing contention:

But Old Town is on the verge of major development. Is the access center the best use for one of the last full blocks in the central city?

It’s much more constrained developmentally than people are playing on the other side. The Blanchet House owns their little spot. It’s only a 16tt (of a block) but they own it and they’re not interested in moving. So you have to build around them and satisfy them. And I’m only half joking when I say they answer to God. The city also owes NW Natural 150 parking spots for the Chinese Garden, and that’s a real deal. They gave us the garden and we have to give them back the parking spots. One of my thoughts is that if we put the parking spots under the access center, that’s uneconomic space, which we’re then not wasting, and then we’re meeting our obligation to NW Natural. If you decide you’re going to build office or high-end housing, but there’s no parking because NW Natural gets it, nobody is going to build there. And the other end is that there’s really no other place to put the parking.

Couldn’t the access center actually derail private development on neighboring parcels?

For the first time Old Town is really ready to go economically. You’ve got David Gold who owns two blocks, the Goldsmith Blocks where the Grove Hotel is. You’ve got the Naitos who have teamed up with Brad Malsin and they’re ready to do some things. There’s Art DeMuro. I’d say to this crew, look, we’re moving Old Town into the River District. There is going to be a lot more money than there has been in the past—a lot more. But it’s still finite. So if you start saying you want to spend a ton of money to turn Block 25 into, pick it, retail or office, or whatever it is, that’s money that does not go into all the private projects.

Call it boosterism if you will, but nonetheless the South Waterfront’s Artist-in-Residence program has put together some interesting events for its 13-month program cycle (Tahni Holt’s Party Project comes immediately to mind; wish I’d made it to that one), and there’s some cool stuff on the horizon—I’m especially looking forward to seeing what Michael Rohd & Co get up to with Sojourn Theatre’s site-specific work, BUILT, in August.

Tonight brings local authors Alison Clemens, Monica Drake, and Robert Hill to the south-side digs. The Oregon Book Award winner and two finalists—that’s a pretty solid little lineup, plus a chance to explore a part of town whose existence most of us have not yet fully come to grips with.

Artist in Residence studio, 3623 SW River Parkway (at the base of the John Ross tower), 7 pm, FREE

Fox television has announced it will be creating an American version of the bazonkers Japanese show, “HOLE IN THE WALL”—in which contestants have to contort themselves through different shaped holes on a moving wall, Tetris style. For just a taste of what this awesome show could be like, here’s the FRENCH VERSION. And omigod, it once again proves that French dummies make American dummies look like Einstein. (Check out the host, though… she’s hot.)

Not sure if I absolutely love this Spike Jonze directed video for it’s blunt simplicity, or hate it for making a clip with a supermodel, fire, a kidnapped Kanye West, and a bludgeoning shovel, all seem kind of boring.

End Hits: The only music blog worthy of a good shovel bludgeoning.

Nothing says “I love you” like plane crash victims on an island haunted by polar bears! If you still haven’t found the valentines you need for that certain someone, check out these cards featuring the cast of LOST, from abc.com.

Here’s my fave!

UPDATE!! Our smart-as-a-whip commenters just alerted me to the fact that NBC has AMERICAN GLADIATORS v-day e-cards!

AHHH-ROOOOOOO!

The Beat (by way of Top Shelf) has posted Craig Thompson’s poster for the 2008 Stumptown Comics Fest. I like it.

Can’t argue with that. Looks like a great lineup this year too, with Perry Bible Fellowship’s Nicholas Gurewitch, Brian Michael Bendis (every month, Ultimate Spider-Man still asserts itself as one of my favorite comics, however many years and counting), Scott McCloud, Tara McPherson, Craig Thompson, and Derek Kirk Kim (who drew 2005’s great poster.) Also, with Bendis’ appearance and “special guest of honor Mike Richardson” from Dark Horse, it looks like the fest is branching out a bit this year—including a bit more mainstream comics work amongst its usual fare of indie, art, and zine-style comics. Should be interesting.

More info over at the official site.

Reminder that tonight is the annual bridal show put on by The English Dept., which this year features not only one-of-a-kinds from co-proprietress Elizabeth Dye, but a handful of other locals: Holly Stalder, Kate Towers, and Adam Arnold. Read about it here. 7 pm, Maison (1611 NW Northrup). See you there.

More fashion on M.O.D.

This week, we’ve got a reader’s question. Want to ask the candidates something? Email me.

Last year the city adopted recommendations made by the Portland Peak Oil Task Force but little action has been taken. If one of the major solutions to global warming and peak oil is to reduce energy consumption and with it, reduce growth, how would you as a city commissioner approach this goal knowing that the business community prefers an unsustainable status quo?

-Jonathan Brandt
SE Portland

Randy Leonard, as I’m sure you’ve guessed, answered first.

Randy Leonard
Position sought: Commissioner #4
Website: randyforportland.com
Public financing status: Not participating in program

I understand that the oil lobby has and will fight any attempt to reduce this country’s dependence on petroleum.

That reality notwithstanding, I drafted and passed the only city ordinance in the United States that requires all diesel fuel sold in Portland to contain at least 5% biodiesel. On July 1, 2010, the amount of biodiesel contained in petroleum diesel sold in Portland will increase to 10%.

I have also directed the Portland Water Bureau to use B-99 (99% biodiesel and 1% petroleum diesel) in their fleet whenever possible. As a result, the Portland Water Bureau is the largest public fleet in the United States that uses B-99.

I believe I have demonstrated my willingness to do whatever is necessary to reduce our consumption and dependence on petroleum.

Martha Perez
Position sought: Commissioner #4
Website: none (contact: moperez73@aol.com)
Public financing status: Participated, did not qualify

As a private citizen, I actively support Focus the Nation, a national effort that encourages students to become involved in the green movement. As a citizen advocate, I am proud of lobbying my legislative representatives in Salem, during 2007 to narrowly pass the Recycling bill. I previously provided public testimony to DEQ, about the need to restrict permits being issued to PGE, regarding air quality emission controls. I, along with thousands of other concerned citizens in Oregon, also wrote letters to Tonkin Corporation, urging support of the Clean Cars Program, which was eventually signed by Governor Ted Kulongowski. I'm also proud of my rank-and-file service with Bonneville Power Administration's Energy Efficiency Office, which adminsters energy efficiency programs, such as the OnStar program for electrical appliances.

I would be interested in doing my part as an elected official, to continue the creation of a "green" economy in Oregon, providing new employment opportunities. I support the idea of building streetcars locally for public transportation purposes and would seek state, federal and other funding for this to occur. Secondly, I am concerned about the fact that waste is occurring in some of our existing industries and I would like to work with the business community to address this issue and develop those work methodologies which reduce and/both eliminate the amount of waste that gets generated. I would collaborate with private, local chambers of commerce and other business community organizations to seek solutions.

I support the idea that businesses continue to allow flex-time, telecommuting options and staggered work hours for employees, in order to minimize cars flowing onto freeways and roads all at the same time. Secondly, I would urge existing companies to continue to implement free bus passes, by taking advantage of transportation credits, subsidies and/both incentives. Although this may be an unpopular idea or not, I think that we need to begin a dialogue about how to reward drivers for reducing their overall dependency on gasoline usage. I try to stay away from the idea of punishing drivers; however, I believe that more can be done to encourage all commuters to consider alternative forms of transportation, especially those who do not live near public systems and those who reside in rural areas without buses.

As an elected official, I live in the same neighborhood as my constituency, so I understand the need to get public-input on the benefits and negatives associated with any and all green development strategies that we come up with. For example, I reside in the Pearl District, which flourished because of many decisions made in conjunction with the City of Portland. Incentives, credits and/both subsidies were created to encourage green buildings that recycle water, LEED-certified commercial/residential construction, sustainable neighborhood liveability practices and a higher quality-of-life for Pearl residents in general.

As a result, the Pearl District boasts one of the largest number of environmentally-friendly infrastructures to be located within the United States. In addition, the myth that the Pearl District caters to upper-income residents is simply not true; there exist several hundred units of low-income and/both mixed-income living residential properties. During my tenure, I would continue the process of expanding these benefits to the east side of Portland.

On a final note, we need to send a strong message to companies, both local and/both out-of-state, when/where applicable, that breaking our environmental laws is illegal, while at the same time, continuing to communicate about finding equitable and timely solutions, so that we don't create a situation where the company in violation, was not given an appropriate opportunity to rectify the problem. However, repeat violations are an issue and everytime we allow a violation to continue, public benefit, environmental integrity and the law itself, are threatened. There are measureable consequences to our in-action. During my tenure, I shall pledge to use my power to hold commercial industry accountable, while seeking out short, mid and long-term solutions to our pressing issues.

Thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedule to read this statement.

Best wishes,
Martha Perez
General Political Activist
Candidate, City Commissioner, Position No. 4 (Public Safety)

Ed Kill
Position sought: Commissioner #4
Website: none
Public financing status: Not participating in program

How does Portland stop contributing to global warming ?

Portland’s contribution is in the form of CO2 (and other pollutants) just like everyone else on earth, so Portland needs to reduce it’s CO2 output.

The city could go all-electric with it’s fleet of vehicles (cars & trucks), after a while people would see that it works and the use of them would spread.

The city could purchase roof top solar panels and simply give them to home & building owners, as long they agree to use them, and pay a local company to install them and hook them up. This would reduce demand on the power grid and lower the owner’s electric bill.

The city could start a small non-profit emissions-free sustainable power company that would produce just 1% of the city’s needs. It would also increase it’s output by 1% per year, so it would take a century but Portland would become energy independent.

Ideas are easy, getting everyone behind a solution is hard, so whatever the city council comes up with
it should be put before the people in an election referendum.

As for Resolution No. 36488 it’s all bark and no bite. Next time there needs to be less speech writing and more plan-of-action.

Emily S. Ryan
Position sought: Commissioner #4
Website: emilysryan.com
Public financing status: Participated, did not qualify.

Did not respond.

At city council this morning, a handful of representatives from Old Town/Chinatown got their three minutes in front of the city council, to speak on the placing of a homeless day access center. City Commissioner Erik Sten has had his eye on Block 25—between NW Flanders and Glisan, and 4th and 5th—for the center.

But neighbors, like Betty Jean Lee of the Chinese American Citizens Alliance and Carol McCreary, head of the Old Town/Chinatown Neighborhood Association, say they welcome the center, but would prefer it’s on a different block in the neighborhood—they’ve pegged a spot a few blocks NW of Block 25, called Block U.

“Our concern is to have a balanced neighborhood in which people from all walks of life can thrive,” Lee said, explaining that Block 25 is key to Chinatown’s revitalization.

McCreary spoke about process, urging the council to slow down the siting decision. “We haven’t had the time to hear from all stakeholder groups, or to bring recommendations from our land use board to the entire association or entire neighborhood,” she said.

Richard Louie, president of the Chinese Consolidated Benevolent Association, also spoke. “We support our homeless citizens. Inside Chinatown, we currently have Union Gospel Mission, Outreach Ministry, Blanchet House, Cascadia Royal Palm, with others close by,” he said. “But now, in this year of the Rat, we cannot support the proposed location for the homeless day use facility… because it is detrimental to Chinatown’s survival.”

After two others spoke—including urban designer Suenn Ho, who has served on the board of Transitions Project Inc, the group slated to run the center—Commissioner Sten gave a few thoughts.

He thanked everyone for coming, and noted that the PDC is giving an update on this project at this afternoon’s meeting. Two weeks from now, he’s expecting a decision from PDC on which site is preferable. If the PDC can’t come to a decision by February 27, Sten has reserved council time on February 28. He asked his colleagues to be prepared to step in at that time and make the call.

That said, Sten says the alternate site neighbors have proposed “is a viable possibility,” one he didn’t consider at the outset because PDC had told him it was unavailable. “All of the parties are discussing Block U, and there seems to be some interest in that.”

After Sten spoke, I caught up with Louie in the hall. He’s looking toward the decision expected later this month, and is encouraged to hear that Block U is under serious consideration.

Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day—which means you need to SHAPE UP today! And by “shape up” I mean you need to recognize the difference between romance and “sexual creepiness.” Example: “Romance” is when you express your innermost feelings to the person you love. “Sexual creepiness” is when… well, it’s best expressed in this 1998 video by NEXT, appropriately entitled, “TOO CLOSE.”

It tells the story of a trio of young men who get a bit too close to their dancing partners, and… well, they get erections. (Or as they call it, “a bolt.”) But you see, it’s not THEIR fault they have erections—it’s those damn girls! Women are just too damn sexy! (And these guys are sexy, too—in the creepiest sort of way.)

But it’s still a great song! And the way the girls in this video dance? I must admit I’m developing a little “bolt,” too. (These gals REALLY enjoy whipping off their shirts.)

Feel some more “bolts” at End Hits, the Mercury Music Blog!

Obama racks up three big wins yesterday in Virginia, Maryland, and District of Columbia. Meanwhile Hillary’s desperation is starting to smell like a wet dog.

The man who served as national manager for former President Clinton’s 1992 campaign plans to endorse Barack Obama. AWWWWWK-WARD!

President Bush is trying to pass even MORE snoopy laws in order to spy on “terrorist communications.” Says Bush, “terrorists are planning new attacks on our country … that will make Sept. 11 pale by comparison. (Think they bought it? Wait… is my mike still on?)”

Will John McCain vote in favor of waterboarding today? (FYI, John. Waterboarding is a torture technique and not the same as “boogie boarding”—which is just as torturous to say.)

The Hollywood Writers’ Strike is finally over! Phew! What a relief these writer’s can finally continue snorting coke and writing shitty jokes for Two and a Half Men.

As it turns out, sketchy Sheriff Bernie Giusto isn’t to blame for being dishonest—THE MEDIA IS!

Wait… a freaking BEAGLE won the Westminster Dog Show? It’s official: THERE IS NO GOD.

I’m pretty sure I’m breaking some sort of nerd record for Blogtown by posting not one but two Star Wars posts in a day, but ah, fuck it. I mean, dude! I was just thinking about this game! Like two days ago. And I was thinking, “Man, a new Knights of the Old Republic certainly wouldn’t be unwelcome. No sir. Not unwelcome at all.”

And then they read my mind.

And it’s BioWare that’s doing it, not some crappy other developer who will remain unnamed, which means it’s going to be good. There is no room for argument, here. It will be. Probably very good. It also cannot come soon enough. I’m almost as excited as good ol’ Star Wars Kid. Almost.

So finally, the strike’s more or less over—meaning the Hollywood machine can kick back into gear and start working on any one of the 8,000 or so great-sounding projects that have been on hold for months. There’s one paragraph I could’ve done without, though, in the New York Times’ story. What’s the term for the opposite of a silver lining?

Wednesday morning will bring a rush to the office by television writers who are especially eager to get existing series like the CBS comedy “Two and a Half Men” and the ABC drama “Grey’s Anatomy” quickly up to speed.

It’s right at that time of year when annoying things happen like you rip two of your thick pairs of tights, and desperately need to replace them seeing how there’s, like, at least two months to go before you can get away without wearing any under short skirts and not freezing your keyster off. The good news is that thick winter tights are on sale, the bad that the pickin’s are slim—that’s why I had to replace my beloved, eminently useful black ribbed MPs with bright freaking red ones. They’re okay, but I passed them up at the beginning of the season because they’re a little Mrs. Claus…

Anyhow, the same can be said for lots of winter gear: you stained your coat, some idiot who lives in your apartment building put your cashmere through the dryer, etc. And if you happened to have trashed your boots, there’s good news: It’s boot month at Olive. Styles from Georgina Goodwin, Repetto, Cydwoq, and more are at slashed prices, in some cases up to 60%. Definitely worth the look.

(These Georgina Goodmans are my faves—they’re like a much classier version of those ubiquitous vintage ones.)

More shop talk at M.O.D.

Another negative report has surfaced in connection with last week’s story about a rent-a-cop firm’s manager being warned by police over taking “pseudo police action.”
RENT-A-COP: In trouble with the real cops for acting like one…

“Captain” Knute Soleim, who runs Portland Security Services Inc, was written up by Portland cop Andy Edgecomb in 2006 for “arresting” a “suspect” with a small amount of marijuana residue in his pipe. That’s not even a crime in Oregon—possession of less than 1oz of marijuana. Whereas “impersonating a police officer” is.

Officer Edgecomb wrote another report on Soleim on September 18, 2007. This was not furnished to the Mercury by the DPSST last month when we made our Open Information Act request for all complaints associated with the company, even though Edgecomb sent a copy to the DPSST at the time.

Edgecomb’s report says Soleim and his subordinate, Apollo Soria, stopped three transients for “trespassing” on a concrete bench on the sidewalk, on the 100 block of SE Morrison:

This bench is outside the fence and on the public sidewalk/right of way. There is no indication that this chunk of cement belongs to CITY LIQUIDATORS [with whom PSSI had a contract at the time, according to Soleim] other than being next to their fence. Soria said the group was drinking and refused to leave when he told them to.

Soria said that [one suspect] was sitting on the concrete bench and being “mouthy” and Soleim took him to the ground. Soria said it happened so fast he wasn’t sure what had transpired.

Soleim told me that the concrete “bench” belongs to CITY LIQUIDATORS and they have been instructed to keep the transients away from the property. I told Soleim that does not give him the right to take action against people who are on the public sidewalk…I told him…he can not tell people who are on public property to “move along” and if there is an issue with drinking, camping, etc, that needs to be addressed he or his employees need to call the police and not take action themselves as the seriousness of those violations do not merit putting themselves in harm’s way…I also explained to Soleim that if he or his employees chose to take action and push an issue they are exposing themselves to potential injury and liability if things go wrong.”

It’s difficult to prosecute someone under the state’s police impersonation statute because it’s trickily worded: The person has to derive some tangible “benefit” from the impersonation. Soleim, as a result, is yet to be prosecuted. But he is promoting his business, on the firm’s website, as taking more action than regular private security: “when observe and report is not enough.” So one could argue that his benefit is to earn money by taking the pseudo police action.

I’ve got a call into the District Attorney, Mike Schrunk, to ask why he hasn’t prosecuted Soleim. The state agency, the DPSST, has also done nothing to prevent Soleim from operating his business, and Soleim is yet to return the Mercury’s inquiries.

In the mean time, I guess, be careful out there.

Well, it’s no Aussie Cheese Fries at Outback, but they’re giving away free pancakes today at IHOP! (Are flapjacks the same as pancakes?) No one alerted me about this earlier, but apparently today is NATIONAL PANCAKE DAY, and International House of Pancakes is celebrating by offering customers a free short stack (three) of buttermilk pancakes. All they ask in return is that you consider making a donation to the Children’s Miracle Network (which provides support to local children’s hospitals).

WELLLLLL, OKAY. I’ll consider it. But they better damn well have some boysenberry syrup!

HOWEVER! You only have till 10 pm tonight! Here are the closest IHOP locations in the Portland area—BUT NO SPEEDING, OKAY? Dead people can’t eat flapjacks. And yes, you can quote me on that.

Hey Rose City! Valentine’s Day is almost upon us, so you’d best start thinking about roses for your sweetie. But what kind of roses to get? There are so many kinds, and each one has a VERY SPECIFIC meaning. It’s probably the most important decision you’ll ever make in your life. So you don’t want to screw up and send the wrong kind, now, do ya? Lucky for you, Blogtown is here to provide you with a handy guide to various roses and their meanings, so listen up!

Red – I love you!
Orange – I desire you! I don’t care what kind of diseases you have.
Purple – I am enchanted by you! Please loosen the cuffs.
Yellow – I like you! But I’m not going to fuck you.
Pink – I admire you! Can I borrow some money?
White – I honor you! This means you are probably dead.
Black – I am a goth! I am SO angry at Daddy.
Blue – I am radioactive! Blue roses don’t exist.

For some slightly more helpful info, jet on over to ProFlowers.com, where there’s lots of info about roses, and their individual meanings.

Aussie Cheese Fries with Ranch, from Outback Steakhouse:

The “worst food in america,” according to Men’s Health. By which I assume they mean worst for you, since it clocks in at 2,900 calories, 182 g fat, and 240 g carbs. I find that picture very hard to look away from. Especially the little puddle of spilled ranch off to the side. Who wants to go to Outback? Bloomin’ onion? Anyone?

Congratulations go out to former child actor GARY “DIFF’RENT STROKES” COLEMAN who is now a happily married short person. 40-year-old Gary, who played the lovable Arnold on the classic sit-com, has just announced he was married in a secret ceremony back in August to 22-year-old Shannon Price, who he met on a movie set. Says People…

The onetime Diff’rent Strokes star also admits that this is his first-time-ever romantic relationship.

“I never got the opportunity to be romantic or feel romantic with anyone,” he says. “I wasn’t saving myself, she just happened to be the one.”

And Gary’s bride seems almost as happy, as well.

“We may go a week and not speak to each other,” he says, while she claims, “He lets his anger conquer him sometimes. … He throws things around, and sometimes he throws it in my direction.”

She adds, “I don’t like the violence.”

Oooooh-kay. Well! CONGRATS TO THE HAPPY COUPLE. (I think I’ll just slip out the back.)

25-year old Kemisha Samuels was found guilty of resisting arrest by a 6-person jury at Multnomah County Court this afternoon.

“I don’t feel like justice was served,” she says. “I don’t feel like the officers’ stories were strong enough.”

Officers told the jury Samuels had struggled before they pushed her down onto the stove. Samuels said the first she’d heard of being under arrest was when her flesh was frying. Samuels was not charged with any crime other than resisting arrest, following the incident. It’s not clear yet, whether she plans to appeal.

Let me preface this by saying that I like Sho Dozono. I’d never met the guy until he launched his mayoral campaign, but I’ve run into him a few times over the past few weeks, we’ve had long chats, and he’s great. He’s smart, he loves Portland, and he seems genuine.

Which is why I’m especially annoyed at things like this—a new campaign website with a feel-good grassroots message that’s fundamentally flawed.

It’s true—Dozono’s campaign turned in more than 4,000 signatures, and they’re waiting for official certification for public financing (their initial certification is due this Thursday). What’s not true is the insinuation that Dozono isn’t “allowed to begin to make expenditures.”

In fact, Dozono has around $40,000 in the bank that he’s free to spend ($38,211.05 to be exact)—money from $5 contributions, and seed money donations of up to $100 each. Campaign websites are a prime reason candidates are allowed to spend that money before they’re certified—such a basic thing can’t really wait until after a candidate’s contribution forms are verified by the city. (I’ve been wondering why there haven’t been any expenditures on Dozono’s campaign disclosure forms since February 1. Apparently this misconception that they can’t spend money is to blame.)

But again—Dozono is smart. And the city rules are very clear in this arena—Dozono has already spent seed money, and he knows that’s legit. It’s as if Dozono’s campaign is pretending, again, that they don’t know the rules, in an effort to drum up an “outsider” image. Like I said: It’s annoying.

A buddy of mine in DC who is a grad student/bartender had what I think is a pretty good fundraising idea, so I pass it on now in case any local service industry types want to run with the idea.

Hi Friends,

Like many of you, I’m pretty excited about the whole idea of Barack Obama potentially being our president. But I am also busy enough elsewhere in my life that I don’t really know how to help. My skill set basically involves reading, drinking, and serving drinks.

So I’m going to rely on the one thing I know I’m good at: serving drinks. And I know lots of people who are good at drinking drinks. So this Tuesday from 9-close, I’ll be donating all my tips to the Obama campaign while I am bartending at the DC9. For those who don’t know, we’re located one block from the U St. metro (Vermont Ave exit).

It will be a rare opportunity to do Jameson’s shots while doing something good for America. Please come by and bring your friends. Oh, and tip well too, you cheap bastards, it’s for a good cause.

Thanks,
Matt B

Let us know if anybody decides to do this. I will totally tip for America. events@portlandmercury.com

What happens when you combine bee stings, donkeys, and free jazz? The answer lies in this week’s fresh, hot, steaming episode of Your Radio Sucks. This week, your host Ned Lannamann plays music from Envelopes, Andrew Bird, BOAT, School of Language, Thao Nguyen (pictured), Dirty on Purpose, and Procol Harum. Miss out on this and you’ll be sorry, so check it out here.

If you forgot to submit your FREE Mercury valentine (to be published in this week’s paper), you must be kicking yourself in the ass right now. “ALAS! FAREWELL ‘LOVE’! FAREWELL ‘ROMANCE’! AND FAREWELL ‘LIFE’!” (Stab, stab, stab.) Well, fear not! Because even though you’re a worthless, lazy cad, the Mercury still has your back with our newest invention, THE MERCURY LOVE BOT™!

Simply click right here, fill out the necessary online form, and the MERCURY LOVE BOT™ will compose a sexy, and appropriately romantic love note… and then he’ll email it to your lover or loved one on Valentine’s Day! And once again, it’s all free, because we’re awesome and those other papers’ aren’t. SO WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? Activate the Mercury Love Bot™ NOW!

THE MERCURY LOVE BOT™: Why express your own feelings when a robot can do it for you?

You may recall a damning independent report came out two weeks ago, saying the community doesn’t trust the city’s so-called Independent Police Review. Portland Copwatch’s Dan Handelman, who is a regular presence at IPR meetings, has been dogging the issue for a while. If you can’t be bothered to read all his analysis of the report, which, trust me, you can’t, because I just have, and it depressed the hell out of me, why not watch this video he’s put together, explaining why the IPR sucks and what it needs to do about it in just seven minutes:

COPWATCH VIDEO: Explains the problems with IPR…

As Handelman keeps insisting, overhauling the IPR is not about personalities, but about changing the process to make the police bureau more accountable to citizens. So try to get over the flickering monitor in the background, and focus on the messages. Eh?

There’ll be a public hearing on the report at City Hall on the 28th of February at 2pm.

I should get my own TV series. I’ll smoke cigarettes to sound like Stone Phillips. First up, cops in Vermont shouldn’t have Tasered a peaceful protester last July. The incident, shown in this YouTube, was ruled “unnecessary and excessive” yesterday.
TASER: Unnecessary and excessive…

Secondly, Taser’s stock is up 8 per cent. Does it just strike me as a conflict of society’s interest to be filling a gap in adequate law enforcement training and mental health resources with a product made by a private company with stockholders who stand to benefit from such things?

Bruce Broussard—a community activist and frequent figure in Portland politics—has filed a complaint with the state elections division, against Sho Dozono.

In a recent Oregonian article, Broussard says in his handwritten complaint, “it was indicated that the candidate for mayor Sho Dozono violated the definition of a candidate according to Jennifer Hertel, campaign finance specialist with the Secretary of State’s office.”

“Concerns were also raised in the Tribune as well… I would like the Secretary of State to make a full investigation of this matter,” Broussard concludes.

He’s referring to the Dozono poll—a poll taken last December, that hasn’t appeared on Dozono’s campaign finance disclosures. Dozono has acknowledged seeing the poll results when he was deciding whether or not to run, and the Oregonian points out that “a poll done by someone else that you get a peek at is considered an in-kind contribution, and a good one can cost $20,000.”

According to my sources, the Dozono poll likely cost somewhere between $15K and $30K—a potential violation of the city’s $12,000 cap on in-kind contributions under the public financing rules, except City Auditor Gary Blackmer claims Dozono wasn’t bound by the city’s rules until he filed a declaration of intent to participate in the program on January 7.

Is city council candidate Amanda Fritz torn between not wanting to look like a NIMBY over homeless issues, and yet, wanting to promote the process and process and more process so beloved of those who would rather see the center sited elsewhere, other than Old Town? This is Oregon, after all. It’s the state of back room deals. People who can’t cut them ought not to be elected. Right?
HOMELESS ACCESS CENTER: Controversial…

Fritz has a lengthy post on her blog, saying why city council is wrong for ignoring crucial process steps in its bid to build the new homeless access center in Old Town. She compares it to the Cesar Chavez street renaming debacle:

That said, the City Council once again seems to be running a public process that is favoring one minority community while disrespecting another - just as they did in the Interstate/4th Avenue renaming debacle. Once again, the Council members are ignoring regulations in the Code and Charter. Once again, decisions are being made without following the required steps, in order.

The Resource Access Center itself is A Good Thing. It will provide not only one-stop shopping to meet the social service and job placement needs of some of our most vulnerable citizens, but also affordable housing above the ground floor offices and retail businesses. That will give people currently living on the streets in the area, a safe place to stay in the neighborhood. The Center will be big enough that folks waiting for services won’t have to queue outside.

Just watched Fargo again over the weekend, and yep, it’s still fucking awesome. Anyway, here’s what the Coens are up to next, according to Variety.

For their next collaboration, the No Country for Old Men team of Joel and Ethan Coen and producer Scott Rudin will transfer another Pulitzer Prize-winning author’s work into a film.

Columbia Pictures has acquired screen rights to the bestselling Michael Chabon novel The Yiddish Policemen’s Union, with the Coens writing, directing and producing with Rudin.

Chabon sets up a contemporary scenario where Jewish settlers are about to be displaced by U.S. government’s plans to turn the frozen locale of Sitka, Alaska, over to Alaskan natives. Against this backdrop is a noir-style murder mystery in which a rogue cop investigates the killing of a heroin-addicted chess prodigy who might be the messiah.

The Coens will turn their attention to the book after they shoot A Serious Man for Working Title and Focus.

Info on A Serious Man (and one or two more upcoming Coen projects) is here. My review of Chabon’s book is here. Thanks to Cinematical for the heads up.

Think “2 Girls, One Cup” was disturbing? Then you, my friend, have not seen the bat shit CRAZINESS of “Japanese Ronald McDonald.” Seriously, this is the first viral video I’ve seen that was like the internet equivalent of The Ring—I was mesmerized, and then thoroughly convinced I was gonna die. I would encourage you to watch it all the way through, but YOU REALLY HAVE NO CHOICE, DO YOU?
So grab your socks, and hold on to your cocks for the unadulterated INSANITY of JAPANESE RONALD McDONALD.

In the words of Amy J.Ruiz, “death throes are so fun to watch…”

CLINTON VIDEO: Spoof…

“THE WORLD IS GETTING HOT!!”
“INSTEAD OF WAR WE CAN NEGOTIATE!!”

Love it. Unless it’s serious. Which it can’t be.

And the Star Wars prequel train keeps on rollin’. Following the success of Genndy Tartakovsky’s cool Clone Wars cartoons, Lucasfilm’s CG animated TV series Star Wars: The Clone Wars will debut in movie theaters this August, then hit cable TV in the fall. Tartakovsky’s not involved this time around, which is disappointing, but by all indications, the show will still feature lightsabers and space ships and gay robots, so hey, there’s still that.

I suspect Lucasfilm’s pretty confident in these cartoons if they’re showing the first couple of them theatrically, so that bodes well. Then again, Lucas was also really confident in the comedic appeal of Jar Jar Binks, so we’ll see. Teaser for the series below; full press release after the jump.

Lucasfilm Ltd., Warner Bros. Pictures and Turner Broadcasting System Inc. Announce Deal to Release STAR WARS: THE CLONE WARS in 2008

Warner Bros. Pictures Releases Full-Length, Theatrical Clone Wars Movie August 15,
Followed by the Debut of the Groundbreaking TV Series, Premiering This Fall on Cartoon Network and TNT

SAN FRANCISCO, Calif. (February 12, 2008) – A new era of Star Wars entertainment begins in 2008 when STAR WARS: THE CLONE WARS, from creator George Lucas, premieres as an all-new feature film in August, followed by the television series debut in the fall, in a partnership announced today between Lucasfilm Ltd., Warner Bros. Pictures and Turner Broadcasting System Inc.

Produced by Lucasfilm Animation, STAR WARS: THE CLONE WARS takes audiences on incredible new Star Wars adventures, combining the legendary storytelling of Lucasfilm with an eye-popping, signature animation style. STAR WARS: THE CLONE WARS will open in North American theaters Friday, August 15. International release dates will be announced soon.

“I felt there were a lot more Star Wars stories left to tell,” said George Lucas,
executive producer of STAR WARS: THE CLONE WARS. “I was eager to start telling
some of them through animation and, at the same time, push the art of animation forward.”

The theatrical debut of STAR WARS: THE CLONE WARS is only the beginning of all-new Star Wars adventures that continue in the fall when the long-awaited television series premieres on Cartoon Network, followed by airings on TNT. Details regarding international broadcasts will be announced shortly.

STAR WARS: THE CLONE WARS showcases an entirely new look and feel to the galaxy far, far away--combining the expansive scope of the Star Wars Saga with state-of-the-art computer-generated animation. Each week, viewers will see a thrilling, 30-minute “mini-movie” created by the talented artists at Lucasfilm Animation.
On the front lines of an intergalactic struggle between good and evil, fans young and old will join such favorite characters as Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Padmé Amidala, along with brand-new heroes like Anakin’s padawan learner, Ahsoka. Sinister villains--led by Palpatine, Count Dooku and General Grievous--are poised to rule the galaxy. Stakes are high, and the fate of the Star Wars universe rests in the hands of the daring Jedi Knights. Their exploits lead to the action-packed battles and astonishing new revelations that fill STAR WARS: THE CLONE WARS.

“Warner Bros. and Turner are uniquely positioned to deliver on the enormous potential of The Clone Wars because together they offer a world-class opportunity: the theatrical and home-video distribution of Warner Bros. and the broad reach of the Turner Networks,” said Micheline Chau, President and Chief Operating Officer of Lucasfilm Ltd. “This terrific combination hits the key demographic groups, ranging from kids to adults, that make up the Star Wars audience.”

Dan Fellman, Warner Bros. Pictures President of Domestic Distribution, added, “This is a breakthrough project--returning Star Wars to the big screen in a completely new way while beginning an exciting new chapter in George Lucas’ legendary saga. We immediately felt that it would be a fantastic theatrical event and are thrilled to be bringing it to moviegoers.”

“Nothing like this has ever been produced for television,” said Stuart Snyder, President/COO Turner Animation, Young Adults & Kids Media. “For 30 years, Star Wars has shown that it appeals to a huge breadth of fans. The Clone Wars on Cartoon Network will be appointment television for everyone in the family. We’re thrilled to be working with Lucasfilm again and very excited to be playing a role in bringing this remarkable adventure to viewers.”

With a new story each week, STAR WARS: THE CLONE WARS continues the tradition of thrilling stories, astonishing visuals and extraordinary music that have always been the hallmarks of the Star Wars Saga.

Lucasfilm Animation, which is based in Marin County, Calif., with a studio in Singapore, has produced more than 30 all-new episodes of STAR WARS: THE CLONE WARS, and production continues on even more exciting episodes.

The first in a planned series of special web-only documentaries that chronicle the development of STAR WARS: THE CLONE WARS debuts online today, and can be found at http://www.starwars.com.

1.GENERAL MOTORS!!! Reports a quarterly loss of $722 million, blaming the slowing economy. It forgets to mention these:
GM RIG: No, really, my penis is huuuuge…

2.CLINTON!!! Must win Ohio and Texas, to stay in the race. Who’d a thunk it, eh.

3.FUCKED!!! As in, the economy is still…

4.ILLITERATE TEACHER!!! Taught high school for 17 years. “I couldn’t read or write but I could read the system and I could read people,” he says.

5.HARDWIRED FOR LOVE!!! Are robots the sex partners of the future? And does it even matter, with a headline like that?

6.GOLF!!! Lake Oswego course starts serving beer. This is important in many, many ways.

7.FILM!!! Will examine James Chasse’s life and death. Extraordinary.

Good day.

This week on Pure Pod for Now People, Matt talks so fast, we really have no idea what subjects he touched on. We do know Magsy talks about her upcoming trip to the Big Easy, and discloses that she hates the word juices. Music by U2, Super Furry Animals, the Pixies, and Natalie Cole (pictured above). Welcome to episode 57 of Pure Pod for Now People.

Remember a month or two ago when I announced that local station PDX 49 was giving me the honor of choosing and airing my favorite Simpsons episode? Well, they’re showing it tonight! EEEEEE! So for those interested in such things, you can check out Wm. Steven Humpy Humperson’s most fave Simpsons’ episode tonight at 7:30 pm on PDX 49, which includes a couple of quick interviews in which I don’t have the slightest memory of what I said. Hope it wasn’t dumb!
Anyhoo, you’ll have to tune in tonight to see which episode I picked, but here’s a hint:

Crap. That was a pretty easy hint.

Tonight Powell’s and the National Book Critics Circle host a discussion on “good books, good reviews, and how much difference reviews make,” with local authors Katherine Dunn, Peter Rock, and Chelsea Cain. The event is part of the NBCC’s Good Reads series, basically a monthly list compiled by polling the NBCC’s 800 members (as well as writers who have won the NBCC book prize), to find out what everybody read and enjoyed that month. Not quite sure how tonight’s event is gonna go down, but I do like books, and talking about books, and that book Geek Love, so it all sounds pretty good to me.

Powell’s City of Books, 7:30 pm, FREE

And, uh, RIP Jonathan Brandis too, I guess.

Last week, Marjorie made a post about the launch of a new website called Shop Vintage Portland. I talked with the creator, Anne Weiland, about her new website, as well as her other vintage clothing blog LuLu’s Vintage, and the Artist Trading Card Swaps she and her husband, Chris Weiland, organize every month here in Portland. You can check out my interview with Miss Weiland after the jump.

MERCURY: Tell me about your new blog, Shop Vintage Portland.

ANNE WEILAND: With ShopVintagePortland.com, I am combining my love and knowledge of Portland and everything vintage to share with the public an unprecedented guide to the city and all the vintage things that it has to offer.

The blog features posts on all the vintage stores in town, vintage expos, fashion shows and nightlife. Interviews with local store owners and vintage enthusiasts are also featured, and listings of store sales and vintage related classifieds will be coming soon.

So, if someone wants to buy or sell a vintage item I will post about it on my website for free. I am also looking for people to participate in the Portland Style Council. Readers can contact me at shopvintageportland@yahoo.com.

You also have an online vintage clothing store/vintage clothing blog collectively called Lulu's Vintage. Tell me about that website, and what made you start up that endeavor.

On Lulu's Vintage online store, I sell items from my vintage collection such as sewing patterns, hats, ties and clothing. On Lulu's Vintage blog I act as a vintage shopping editor, scouring the internet and picking out what I feel are the best vintage clothing, accessories and housewares to share with my readers. I will often give some history or background about the particular type of item that I am writing about.

Mondays I have a theme for my posts called Manly Mondays, and I post only about men's vintage clothing and accessories. Fridays are what I call Fashion Fridays, because I feature new clothing and accessories that have been influenced by old clothing and accessories. So much of what is being designed today is based on vintage clothing.

The whole idea for Lulu's Vintage blog came about when my brother was designing my website and suggested that I have a blog about vintage. I did research and found that no such blog existed. I had fun starting the blog from scratch and enjoyed creating the format for the blog posts and what they were about.

In addition to all your work with vintage clothing, you and your husband run monthly Artist Trading Card (ATC) Swaps. Tell me a little bit about what ATCs are, exactly, and what people can expect to find at the swaps.

Artist Trading Cards are 2 1/2" x 3 1/2" works of art that are produced to trade with other artists at swaps. ATCs can be drawn, painted, sculpted, collaged, stamped, sewn, beaded, welded, etc. You can use photographs or almost anything that you can think of to create them.

At the swaps we gather together to trade cards with one another. A lot of ATC regulars put their cards in baseball card sleeves inside of a notebook and pass them around for people to select cards from. This isn't necessary, but it can make swapping easier.

For those readers who are interested in coming to an ATC swap, what information do they need to know?

The Portland ATC swaps take place monthly. We are currently experimenting with the time and location of our meetings. Our next meeting is taking place on Sunday, February 17th from 5 pm to 7 pm at the IPRC (Independent Publishing Resource Center) located at 917 S.W. Oak Street #218 in downtown Portland. People of all ages and skill levels are invited to come and join us.

To view some of the Artist Trading Cards that we have made and for more information, check out our website or email us at atcpdx@yahoo.com.

The trial of Kemisha Samuels for resisting arrest finally began this morning after several false starts. The two sides have spent the last two hours picking a jury and having lunch, but the trial is now set to go ahead, starting at 1:50. If you’re free this afternoon and are interested in watching the judicial process unfold, it’s open to the public, in room 528 of the Multnomah County Courthouse, downtown on SW 4th and Salmon.
SAMUELS: Badly burned…

25-year old Samuels was asleep upstairs in her Powellhurst-Gilbert apartment off SE Division, on June 17, 2007, when East Precinct Police Officers Walker Berg and Jacob Clark came into her bedroom and woke her by shining a flashlight in her eyes, she says.

Samuels followed the officers downstairs. “They never told me I was under arrest,” says Samuels. “The next thing I knew, he was forcing my belly down onto the oven and I could hear it frying, the flesh frying. And I screamed at them that my stomach was burning, but the officer just forced me down even harder.”

Deputy District Attorney Adam Greenman asked, this morning, to suppress evidence in the case: he said it was “unnecessary” to show a jury the burner ring from Samuels’ stove. But Judge Alicia Fuchs allowed the evidence in, because one of the officers wrote in his report that he thought the stove was a counter top, and Samuels’ attorney, Becky Carter, argued that it’s clearly distinguishable.

Perhaps I’ll see you there.

Ah, high rise condos. I fucking love ‘em. Good riddance to old Portland rubbish, I say.

On that note: Architecture blogger (and occasional Oregonian contributor) Brian Libby’s 5-minute film of the demolition of the Rosefriend Apartments has made it into this Saturday’s “Made In Oregon” shorts night of the Portland International Film Fest. Here’s the rather surreal effort, in its entirety:

DEMOLITION FILM: Exactly what it says on the tin…

“Stylistically, the film is very bare-bones,” says Libby. “But any embellishment beyond the footage of the facade being ripped down by a crane seemed superflous.”

If only I were still in college, I’d get all post-modern on you about the crane ripping away the layers of the 20th century onion, and mention Baudrillard, but I’m not. So I won’t.

The Rosefriend is currently being replaced by the Ladd Tower, which as an urban high-rise fanatic I’m super-pleased about. Still, well done, Brian. It’s nice to have a piece of Portland’s architectural memory so well kept. And some of those other movies showing on Saturday night look pretty interesting, too…well worth the $9.

There’s a bunch of new Old Spice deodorant commercials starring Will Ferrell over at the Old Spice website, in which he plays Jackie Moon from his upcoming movie, Semi-Pro. Weird though this cross-promotion may be, it’s still pretty funny to hear Will describe Old Spice as “cauterizing your sweat glands shut.” CHECK IT OUT HERE!
And speaking of Old Spice, a wise (?) man once told me, “Steve, if you wear any cologne or deodorant, make it Old Spice—because it reminds women of their fathers, and they’ll subconsciously feel safe around you. Unless they were raped by their father. That could be a problem.”
I was reminded of this sage advice when I saw this classic Old Spice commercial from 1982, aptly entitled, “I Love the Smell of Daddy.” Enjoy.

More location shuffling is going down on Hawthorne, some of which you’ve probably already heard about. This email just came in from the Hawthorne Boulevard Business Association, giving a complete rundown on the latest changes:

Naked City, 3730, currently has two small storefronts and will consolidate into one rather than relocating. Address will remain 3730 (The westmost storefront in the building) Jackpot Records, 3736, is moving into the former Practically Divine location, 3574. Mink, 4314, will move into the former “Le Rouge” location, 3418. A Mink employee, Elsa, will open “Elsa and Sam,” a tableware shop in the current Mink location. Garment, 4136, has closed, and that building will become the MuseRoom, an annex to Muse Art & Design, for art classes and similar purposes. Kimberly Kent,Hawthorne artist, will exhibit there during the SE Area Art Walk, March 2&3. Business looking to move to a new Hawthorne location: Tibet Spirit, 4125, Practically Divine (formerly 3574). Business wanting to find a gift or art-related business to share space with them: Jewelry by Poncé, 3288 Prime storefronts available as far as I know: former Bamboo Lifestyles, 3321, former Daily Grind, 4026, Nick’s Coney Island, 3746, former Jackpot Records, 3736, and former half of Naked City, 3734. Businesses adding Hawthorne locations: Por que no? (Mississippi) will announce its new upper Hawthorne location soon. Albina Press on Hawthorne, 50th, next to Sapphire Hotel.

Christ, this is irritating. Should we take these people seriously, or what? On the one hand, Scientology is clearly creepy. On the other hand, they’re wearing ridiculous masks.
“ANONYMOUS”: Children are DYING in Darfur, people…

Read their rather desperate sounding statement, after the jump. Thanks to Will Parker, photo editor for the Linn Benton Community College student newspaper, ‘The Commuter,’ for the pic. He also sent us the link to his Flickr page, where you can see more.

Ladies and Gentlemen,

As we reflect upon the tenth of February, we are pleased to announce that our day of action has been crowned with great success. A wave of demonstrations spearheaded by Anonymous has swept the world. These spanned four continents, occurring in over 90 cities and involving over 7000 individuals in total [1]. However, numbers alone do not assure victory. Equally key to the success of our actions was the character, demeanor and behavior of the demonstrators themselves. By virtue of our peaceful yet unyielding stance, Anonymous has demonstrated to the world - and to the Church of Scientology - the full seriousness of our intentions. In addition to this, we have demonstrated to citizens around the world that in our battle against this abomination we speak in the name of peace, order and good government.

The same could not be said about the Church of Scientology on this day. According to some worrisome reports, three members of the Church had been detained by law enforcement. Attempting to forcibly interfere with our demonstrations, these Church agitators had gone so far as to remove the masks of those who were speaking out against them. At this time, Anonymous would like to thank the members of law enforcement worldwide who stood watch over our events. For helping to maintain peace at the gatherings we had organized and for protecting both the public and ourselves from the more temperamental members of this Church, you have earned our gratitude. Returning to the subject of childish behavior, we view the latest attempt by the Church of Scientology to incite hate against us by conjuring symbols of terrorism, National Socialism and the Ku Klux Klan with a mixture of sadness and disdain. As we have done both online and in our protests, we would like to remind the public, the pre
ss and the Church of Scientology that our outrage is directed against the criminal practices of the Church, not against the beliefs of its members.

To those of you who have been dismissing us as little more than young rabble, we hope that today's wave of demonstration has caused you to reconsider your position regarding our ability to accomplish a serious objective. Our campaign against the Church of Scientology has only just begun. Today has marked our first decisive move. The next event of our campaign is scheduled for March 15. This is the Saturday directly following March 13, a day known to Scientologists as the birthday of L. Ron Hubbard. We, too, wish to celebrate this event, albeit in our own special way. Beware the Ides of March, Church of Scientology!

We are Anonymous.
We do not Forgive.
We do not Forget.
A pleasure to make your acquaintance.

Sources:

1. Worldwide headcount for the 10th of February. http://forums.enturbulation.org/viewtopic.php?t=1737

Find more listings on Found It!

Chaos Cafe & Parlor–DJ Indus, Gangster Computer God, 8 pm, free, all ages
Doug Fir–Super Furry Animals, Holy Fuck, 9 pm, $15
East End–Mattress Monday: Strange Effects, 9 pm
Kaul Auditorium, Reed College–Kronos Quartet, 3 pm
Ladd’s Inn–Hammond B3 Jam: Organ LeRoi & The Donors, free
Rock n Roll Pizza–Limbeck, John Ralston, The New Frontiers, Bridgetown, 7 pm, $10-12, all ages
Tube–DJ Nate C, 9:30 pm, free
Valentine’s–Dramady, Roy Tinsel, Baby Dollars, 9 pm, free

Which will now be stuck in your head the rest of the day.

Another Hollywood favorite has passed away, this time it’s actor ROY SCHEIDER (best known for his terrific roles in Jaws, All That Jazz, The French Connection, Marathon Man, etc.) who died Sunday after a long fight with blood cancer.

From the L.A. Times…

He probably will be best remembered for his role as Martin Brody, the water-shy police chief in “Jaws” (1975) who uttered the immortal line: “You’re gonna need a bigger boat,” after seeing the size of the shark. He once lamented that the role “will be on my tombstone.”

His favorite role, he said, was playing choreographer Joe Gideon, a thinly disguised stand-in for Broadway choreographer Bob Fosse, in “All That Jazz” (1979) — a role for which the former boxer had to learn to dance. “That will always be my favorite film,” he told the San Jose Mercury News in 1999. “But I never worked harder in my life. I felt I had to prove myself to the dance company. I didn’t want to misrepresent them… . I was in relatively good shape. But at the end of the day, I’d return to the Holiday Inn with my Tiger Balm.”

That role earned Scheider some of his best reviews. Pauline Kael would later write in the New Yorker that Scheider “made you feel you were watching Fosse himself. It wasn’t an impersonation; it was as if Fosse had taken over his body, from the inside. That’s the only role in which Scheider had an exciting presence, and it wasn’t his; we seemed to be looking right through him to Fosse.”

Well fucking put. God speed to one of my favorite actors. (Seriously, if you haven’t checked out All That Jazz, jump on it. It’s amazing.)

Long before Kanye was joined by Daft Punk (their first live television performance ever), or the most frightening phrase on the planet was uttered—“Three-time Grammy winner Fergie”—a couple Portland acts had a few chances to take home a Grammy.

Menomena, and artist Craig Thompson, were nominated for Best Recording Package for Friend and Foe. But, alas, they lost to Bright Eyes. Danny Seim, the band’s drummer, flew down for the ceremony, and although he didn’t get a trophy, he did get to see Morris Day & The Time.

Meanwhile, The Shins’ Wincing the Night Away was up for Best Alternative Music Album, and the album’s producer, Joe Chiccarelli, was nominated for Producer of the Year (non-classical). They lost to the White Stripes and Amy Winehouse enabler producer Mark Ronson, respectively.

End Hits: We always bet on Herbie Hancock.

Obama won several caucuses and primaries this past weekend—he trounced Clinton in Washington—but Clinton is ahead by 27 delegates. And, she replaced her campaign manager.

The US is seeking the death penalty against six people accused of “murder and war crimes” associated with 9/11.

Amy Winehouse pulls it together just enough to win a few Grammys.

The writers’ strike could end this week.

Yahoo tells Microsoft that their $44.6 billion takeover offer was too low.

“There’s more gang members in the metropolitan area than at any time in the last 10 years that I’ve worked gangs,” Portland cop tells KATU.