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Thursday, February 28, 2008
News Portland Welcomes Laura Bush
Posted by on Thu, Feb 28 at 10:41 AM
Portland played host to the President’s wife this morning. To the First Lady. Or whatever.
I happened to be walking down the South Park blocks at 10am, and saw more cops than I’ve ever seen, gathered in one place. I went up to a couple and asked what’s going on.
“The Queen’s visiting,” says one.
Funny. Seriously. Who is it?
“I can’t say.”
You can’t say?
“She’s like the Queen. Only of our country.”
He’s winding me up. So I go look at the Performing Arts Center and there’s this secret service guy telling me I can’t go down the steps:
SECRET SERVICE: Had the whole block shut down…
Then, our Queen emerged:
BUSH: Shorter than I expected…
Of course, she was greeted in Portland style by our resident multi-activist, Teresa Teater:
TEATER: “Troops home now…how much is this costing the city of Portland to police…you still owe us money from the protests against your husband in 2003…I said you should have swiped your credit card at the airport…”
One guy told her to “show some respect.” I wondered why. I love Teresa Teater. And just like that, Bush was off: 
BUSH LEAVES: Secret Service guy still looks tough…
Readers, I invite you to respond to this surreal debacle in haiku form.
Comments
please omit "the"
"Of course, she was greeted in Portland style by our resident multi-activist, Teresa Teater:"
That picture just screams, "I used to live in a van, down by the river!"
It's fair to say: Teresa's been through a lot.
Not like that... I forget you're from England. It's an old Saturday Night Live skit.
Matt, Why was she here was she pushing the same old school shtick she has been doing for forever?Was she asking people to vote for Mcain?I need to know Matt please tell us more
Is she a hoarder? She SEEMS like a hoarder.
And also, awesome. A little.
But mostly, the hoarding thing.
Birdie Miss Laura fly in
to take a peck at Portland
then takes a dump in
the Performing Arts Center
once finished, flys away again
Little Birdie goes out on
limb with what it all means
stink is bad
stench is had
by all not Rethuglicans,
who are Portland's meanest!
Wow. Just wow.
queen of libraries:
with no child left behind
why can't johnny read?
crawford's no balmoral
save us from george's madness
laura, banish the king
Is she making a 'W' with her fingers intentionally?
It saddens me this loudly tolerant town lacks the capacity to tolerate.
she was here for "Help-
ing America's Children"
Her "Raison d'être"
she was introduced
by greg oden our rookie
who prefers 'bama
http://www.publicpress.org/entity?action=showEntity&id=11360
LB was in town to promote Helping America's Youth.
"Helping America's Youth is a nationwide effort to raise awareness about the challenges facing our youth, particularly at-risk boys, and to motivate caring adults to connect with youth in three key areas: family, school, and community."
Yeah, that sounds like something to protest against. Teresa might consider saving her indignation for something worthwhile. Protesting for more money for the mentally ill might be a better use of her time.
It saddens me this loudly tolerant town lacks the capacity to tolerate.
Tolerate who? Laura Bush?
I'm sorry, but the concept of tolerance doesn't extend to assholes. Assholes choose to be assholes and are therefore fair game for both criticism and outright contempt. We're judging Mrs. Bush by the content of her character, as Dr. King would say, and not by some arbitrary genetic or sexual factor over which she has no control. "Tolerance" simply doesn't apply here.
Okay, maybe I was a little harsh in calling Laura Bush an asshole.
Still, I don't see how "tolerance" factors into it.
I've just been thinking graphically about Laura Bush's asshole. Thanks a bunch, guys. My day is ruined.
Oh yee of little tolerants,
Teater too was a Librarian,and for Lincoln
Public Schools Administration in the 70s,So on behalf of smart ex-librarians of the USA, Teater gets to call the First Lady on her stuff,
for the stuff the Bush Family has put the USA thru...
Lot of nerve coming to Portland to lie to Our Children about their furture!
Their parents are voting this fall!!
So stick a book in it King George ,Let me pick the Title #^%#^$$*&^&
P.S
Teater ranted for the owed overtime money for PPB, so they could get the training and retraining they need ,so many of us Portlanders could be left behind alive!!
Teater here, Oh my god I missed that episode of SNL !!! I love Chris Farley !!!
What a commparitive compliment...
It was no accident I was in that pose this a.m.
I had a colon oscapy Yesterday,
So I was tooting at some Portland Cop standing behind me...can you say multi-tasker :>
Oh and when I was homeless,I did live by the Willemette River in a Cool Blues Brothers Crown Ford Vic !!!!
I love Teresa Teater. I fucking love her.
Hey Matt, Yesterday was one heck of a great day!!!!
Isnt it great when somebody gets you!!!
See you at the next Bush gig !!!
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