Well, shit. Because the universe hates me and loathes my happiness, I knew my excitement over that badass Indiana Jones teaser would have to be balanced out by some crappy news. Stupid Variety.

Paramount is pushing back the release of J.J. Abrams’ Star Trek from Dec. 25 to May 8, 2009, saying the pic’s gross potential is greater as a summer tentpole.

Heh. Tentpole. Well, anyway, at least I’ve got Turist Ömer Uzay Yolunda to tide me over until 2009.

Goddamn does that “Kaptan Kirk” dude creep me out. Shudder.