Live from the Rose Garden as the Portland Trail Blazers take on the Charlotte Bobcats. With the exception of the occasional kitten they are forced to eat due to suburban sprawl encroaching on their natural habitat, the Bobcats are a mess. Their co-owner is a gambling addict (and the best basketball player ever to play the game), they play in a state where they are overshadowed by college hoops, and their mascot is a frightening radioactive orange bear that is either blind, or just likes wearing sunglasses indoors. Go Bobcats!

Holyfuckingshit, it’s Faith and Family Night at the arena. Sponsored by 104.1 The Fish, there is a free Christian rock concert after the game, on the court. What happened to separation of church and hoops? Do I have to live blog the praise concert? Don’t these bible-thumpers know that my people killed Jesus?

And we’d do it again…

Pre-Game:
Remember the embarrassing "Draft the 'Stache" campaign of a few years back. Somehow the pasty skin and creepy mustache of Gonzaga's Adam Morrison hypnotized the Portland public, coning us that drafting a lanky outside shooter (and diabetic) with no muscle mass or defensive skills would be a good idea. Fans held rallies, but Blazers GM Kevin Pritchard was immune to the hype and passed on Morrison, instead drafting a couple scraps (Brandon Roy and LaMarcus Aldrdige, whatever happened to them?) to the protest of numerous fans. Meanwhile, the Bobcats happily took Morrison, who was a bust last year, and this year has waxed the pine by sitting out for almost the entire season with a torn left knee ligament. Bummer, brah.

First Quarter:
11:32 - Travis Outlaw for three. Nice start from the string bean. 3-0 Blazers.

7:08 - Outlaw goes up for a jumper, but instead passes it at the last second, firing it off the turned head of Joel Przybilla. It bounces to Raymond Felton who dunks it on the other end. That was funny. 11-8 Portland.

5:25 - How Przybilla can miss three consecutive shots from within two inches of the basket is beyond me. You are the Vanilla Godzilla and over seven feet tall. How hard can this be? 15-10 Blazers.

2:51 - Looking at the numbers, it's hard to see why the Bobcats struggle like they do. They are pretty well-balanced, have guys that can score (Jason Richardson), rebound (Emeka Okafor), and pass (Raymond Felton), yet they are soft and usually get rolled over by most teams. They also have Earl Boykins, he's 5"5, and totally adorable. I want one. 23-17 PDX.

1:37 - Aldrdige somehow dunks over Boykins. He only had a foot-and-a-half height advantage, so that sure was pretty close. 27-24 Blazers.

Second Quarter:
10:20 - Boykins with the steal and then a sweet reverse layup. Adorable! I am going to take him home, he can live in my doll house and marry Barbie. Yeah, I got a doll house, what's it to you? 32-29 Blazers.

8:32 - Webster with the alley-oop pass to... no one. I assume that was meant for Przybilla, but he's not the acrobatic dunk sort of player. That was ugly. 33-31 PDX.

6:45 - Boykins revenge! He jukes and gets Aldridge into the air, then scores on a floater from about 6 feet out. Score one (actually, two) for the little dude. 37-33 Blazers.

3:49 - MEOW! The Bobcats come roaring back, it's all tied up. 41-41.

0:23 - Big 'ole Vanilla Gorilla with a dramatic tip-in, and the Blazers are now back in the lead. But not for long, Richardson nails a three for Charlotte. No Roy, no playoffs, it doesn't matter, Portland better win this game. 47-46 Bobcats.

0:00 - The bad news: The Bobcats lead at the half. The good news: March Fourth Marching Band is playing at the break. Yay! 49-48 Charlotte.

Third Quarter:
10:27 - Aldridge gets swatted by Gerald Wallace. First Boykins, now Wallace. Someone isn't using his height like he should. 53-52 PDX.

7:34 - Wallace gets conked, and the in the mad scramble Outlaw gets himself a big shiny reversal dunk. Yet still, the Blazers can't shake the 'Cats. 58-57 Charlotte.

5:20 - Holy crap! Richardson was just on the receiving end of an alley-oop and finished it with a reversal dunk. It's suddenly very quiet here. 60-59 Kitty Bobcats.

2:27 - Raymond Felton with a little face jab to Steve Blake. Ray, baby, the last thing Steve Blake needs is another punch to the mug. He's not exactly a looker, and now you had to go and do this. Oh, and Jarrett Jack just knocked back a three. 68-65 Portland.

0:23 - All pumped up from his previous shot, Jack nails another short jumper. And after a Bobcats miss, Jack goes coast to coast only to be pummeled under the basket by Ryan Hollins. He's usually a source of vast frustration, but Jack is fiery and motivated tonight. You see that NBA GMs? You should really trade for Jack in the offseason. 71-67 PDX.

Fourth Quarter:
11:25 - Oh shit. Raef LaFrentz (wait, why is he playing?) turns it over to tiny tiny tiny Earl Boykins who is "clear path" fouled, and tossed to the floor, by James Jones. Two shots, and Charlotte's ball. 72-69 PDX.

9:53 - James Jones airballs a three. It wasn't even that close. Is there a term when you miss it by feet? Mega air ball? 77-75 Bobcats.

7:19 - Again Gerald Wallace is on the receiving end of a blow to the dome and he is down on the court clutching his head, so the Blazers do what is right... drive the court and score while Charlotte is short handed. Sweep the leg, Blazers! Go for the kill! Finish him!! 79-77 Blazers.

5:50 - Want to know how ridiculous this game is? The Blazers, one of the worst rebounding teams in the NBA, have 22 more rebounds than the Bobcats, and yet they only lead by four. 81-77 PDX.

4:24 - Jarrett Jack knows what his new team will like, and that's dramatic layups in the final quarter. Let's hear it for increased trade value! Let's hear it for a four point lead! 83-79 Blazers.

2:28 - Okafur mows down the Gorilla (no call) and pulls the 'Cats a little closer, and on the other end of the court he strips it from Jack. Then Felton knocks down a three, and now all of a sudden the Bobcats are in the lead. What the hell just happened? 86-83 Charlotte.

1:48 - Is God a Blazer fan? We are about to find out here at Faith and Family Night. They lose this game, it's God's wrath. Oh, Travis Outlaw just hit a pair of free-throws, moving Portland to within one. 86-85 Charlotte.

1:07 - God has spoken, he hates Portland and especially Jarrett Jack. Baldy turns it over (again) and the Bobcats are now up by five with about a minute to go. It's not over, but it will be if Jack keeps handling the ball like that. 90-85 'Cats

0:42 - Raymond Felton clears out the arena with his jumper. The Blazers are about to lose to a team with a mere 27 wins, no direction, and a mascot worst than theirs. This should not happen. Not now, not ever. 92-85 Bobcats.

0:00 - And it's over. It was ugly and if the Blazers are going to get that winning season, they need to do better than this. Final score: 93-85 Charlotte.

I don’t usually blog on weekends. But like OMG. From this place, by way of these people:

The relaunch of Sweet Valley High.

You MUST have heard about this.

I read about the relaunch a while back, promptly forgot* about it, and then received review copies of the first two in the mail yesterday. I read the first chapter of the very first book. (That was all I could handle at the moment. I’ll go back for more later.)

They may have changed some things — the Wakefield twins are no longer “a perfect size six”, now they’re (get ready…) “a perfect size four”** — but wow, they haven’t changed Jessica Wakefield. She’s still a bitch.

Why I have I not received copies of these? I got Dr. Laura’s new book, for eff’s sake. I am on the wrong publishers’ lists.

Re: the slimming down of the Wakefields, one Slog commentor notes;

To be fair… in the past 10 years companies have gradually changed sizing so that what was a size 6 10 years ago is now a size [4]. So, actually the Wakefields stayed the same height and weight, but Gap just changed their sizing.

Also, since this IS a Girls Only post, I am at Tiny’s at the people at the table next to me are having a blind internet date. Hee hee.

Okay, who broke the weather? Fess up! I really do feel personally affronted by all this coldness and snow. I am sure I’m not alone. In like a lion and out like a lamb? Right.
Anyway, the weather this morning reminded me a scene from the Day After Tomorrow. And oh… here it is!

So please remember on these cold days: If you just run fast enough and close the door, the killer frost can’t get you!

Which candidate dared name Sassy’s as the place to go for strippers—AND secretly likes country music? Which candidate claims to get to work via the Portland Ducks amphibious bus? Who’s currently reading “What to Expect When You’re Expecting”? And who admits to paying their water bill late, fairly often?

All those answers, and more, are below:

Chris Smith
Position sought: Commissioner #1
Website: citizensmith.us
Financial status: $150,000 in public funding, $125,095.03 currently in the bank

1. I get to work in/on/by: walking 30 feet from my bedroom to my home office (I’m a telecommuter to Xerox in Wilsonville)

2. My favorite Portland bridge is: Steel – I love to walk across the river at the Esplanade.

3. My favorite neighborhood business district is: Nob Hill (I have to support my local neighborhood!)

4. At a bar, I order: Widmer Hefeweizen

5. The politician I most admire is: John Adams

6. The non-politician I most admire is: Leonardo DaVinci

7. This is the best place in Portland for…
pizza: Nostrana
coffee: Stumptown
strippers: I’m blushing… but I don’t know
hot wings: I’ve had wings in Buffalo, there’s nothing locally that counts, sorry
beer: any local brewpub
fancy dinner: Ten 01 is our current favorite (most recently on Valentine’s Day)
a picnic: Washington Park near the rose garden

8. Todd Haynes or Gus Van Sant? Gus, but it’s a hard call

9. Storm Large or China Forbes? China

10. Regular or Decaf? I couldn’t stay awake for all the public meetings without regular

11. Obama or Clinton? Obama has the better energy policy

12. Cats or Dogs? Bipartisan (one of each)

13. NoPo or SoFoPo? NoLo (North of Lovejoy)

14. Cash or Charge? Mostly cash

15. The last concert/show I went to was: Rabbit Hole at Artists Rep

16. The last book I read was: The Art of Simple Food by Alice Waters (a cookbook)

17. If I could swap jobs with anyone in Portland, it would be: A projectionist at the Fox Tower Regal Cinemas

18. If I could live anywhere in Portland, it would be: Somewhere with a view overlooking the Willamette and Oaks Bottom

19. My first kiss was: a long time ago

20. My deepest, darkest secret is: Phish Food

John Branam
Position sought: Commissioner #1
Website: john4pdx.org
Financial status: $150,000 in public funding, $79,420.38 currently in the bank

1. I get to work in/on/by: my ten year-old Camry

2. My favorite Portland bridge is: St. Johns

3. My favorite neighborhood business district is: home of my campaign office: Mississippi

4. At a bar, I order: rum and coke

5. The politician I most admire is: Obama

6. The non-politician I most admire is: Mr. Taylor, my 11th grade global studies teacher who, among other things including his compassion, taught from H. Zinn's "A People's History of the United States" and most encouraged me to join the Peace Corps.

7. This is the best place in Portland for...

pizza: Escape from NY

coffee: Albina Press

strippers: Sassy's

hot wings: Fire on the Mountain (Interstate)

beer: Amnesia

fancy dinner: Ringside

a picnic: Laurelhurst Park

8. Todd Haynes or Gus Van Sant? Gus

9. Storm Large or China Forbes? China

10. Regular or Decaf? Regular

11. Obama or Clinton? Obama

12. Cats or Dogs? Dogs

13. NoPo or SoFoPo? NoPo

14. Cash or Charge? Debit Card

15. The last concert/show I went to was: Retrofits @ the Doug Fir

16. The last book I read was: Omnivores Dilemma

17. If I could swap jobs with anyone in Portland, it would be: Sam Adams

18. If I could live anywhere in Portland, it would be: my house, my neighborhood

19. My first kiss was: in 7th grade through a closing window at 2am . . . hot

20. My deepest, darkest secret is: I actually love country music and relish driving my 1991 Ford truck

Jeff Bissonnette
Position sought: Commissioner #1
Website: portlandersforjeff.com
Financial status: $150,000 in public funding, $126,208.75 currently in the bank

1. I get to work in/on/by: bus, primarily; bike, sometimes; car when needed (which isn't that much)

2. My favorite Portland bridge is: St. Johns

3. My favorite neighborhood business district is: St. Johns

4. At a bar, I order: beer (porter)

5. The politician I most admire is: New York City Councilmember Bill de Blasio

6. The non-politician I most admire is: my grandmother

7. This is the best place in Portland for...

pizza: Rocco's on SW Oak and W Burnside

coffee: I usually drink hot chocolate; I like Marsee's Bakery on NE Broadway

strippers: Community Energy Project for weather-stripping

hot wings: Fire on the Mountain, E. Burnside

beer: Tugboat Brewery

fancy dinner: Toro Bravo

a picnic: Laurelhurst Park

8. Todd Haynes or Gus Van Sant? Todd Haynes (anyone who can have Cate Blanchett play Bob Dylan is a genius).

9. Storm Large or China Forbes? China Forbes

10. Regular or Decaf? Regular

11. Obama or Clinton? Not McCain

12. Cats or Dogs? Dogs (although cats seem to think I'm OK...for a human)

13. NoPo or SoFoPo? North Portland

14. Cash or Charge? Cash (usually with a debit card)

15. The last concert/show I went to was: either Storyhill or Tracy Grammer at Mississippi Studios

16. The last book I read was: Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver and Born Standing Up by Steve Martin (I usually have a few books going simultaneously)

17. If I could swap jobs with anyone in Portland, it would be: Sam Adams

18. If I could live anywhere in Portland, it would be: I love my house and neighborhood in St. Johns

19. My first kiss was: wonderful

20. My deepest, darkest secret is: I sometimes eat cold pizza for breakfast.

Charles Lewis
Position sought: Commissioner #1
Website: charleslewis.com
Financial status: $150,000 in public funding, $124,473.49 currently in the bank

1. I get to work in/on/by: Amphibious Bus (www.portlandducks.com)

2. My favorite Portland bridge is: falling down (www.sellwoodbridge.org)

3. My favorite neighborhood business district is: over taxed.

4. At a bar, I order: One bourbon, one scotch, and one beer.

5. The politician I most admire is: Robert Kennedy

6. The non-politician I most admire is: Stephen Colbert

7. This is the best place in Portland for...
pizza: Pizzacota (puttanesca is the best)
coffee: Ethos Music Center’s new café (2 N. Killingsworth)
strippers: There are strip clubs in Portland?!
hot wings: Kell’s Irish Pub (Whiskey Wings)
beer: Kennedy School
fancy dinner: at home with my wife
a picnic: Peninsula Park

8. Todd Haynes or Gus Van Sant? Travis Huntington

9. Storm Large or China Forbes? China Forbes

10. Regular or Decaf? Regular

11. Obama or Clinton? Obama

12. Cats or Dogs? Dogs

13. NoPo or SoFoPo? NoPo

14. Cash or Charge? Cash

15. The last concert/show I went to was: student recitals at Ethos Music Center

16. The last book I read was: “What to expect when you are expecting” (my wife is pregnant)

17. If I could swap jobs with anyone in Portland, it would be: with someone on city council.

18. If I could live anywhere in Portland, it would be: in my current house in NE Portland (but without potholes this time!)

19. My first kiss was: not memorable.

20. My deepest, darkest secret is: something I’m not going to tell you on Blogtown.

Amanda Fritz
Position sought: Commissioner #1
Website: amandafritzforcitycouncil.com
Financial status: $150,000 in public funding, $118,311.15 currently in the bank

1. I get to work in/on/by: Car. I work swing shift at OHSU and travel home at midnight.

2. My favorite Portland bridge is: St. Johns

3. My favorite neighborhood business district is: Hollywood, although I'm still mourning the loss of Value Village

4. At a bar, I order: Root beer, except when Rock Bottom Brewery's Endangered Species Brew is on tap for their annual benefit event for the Tryon Creek Watershed Council

5. The politician I most admire is: Governor Barbara Roberts

6. The non-politician I most admire is: My husband, Steve Fritz

7. This is the best place in Portland for...

pizza: Hotlips

coffee: BiPartisan Cafe, 7901 SE Stark. Try the pie, you'll be glad you did.

strippers: OHSU Center for Women's Health

hot wings: don't like 'em

beer: Any of the Lucky Labs

fancy dinner: August Moon

a picnic: Council Crest Park

8. Todd Haynes or Gus Van Sant? Gus

9. Storm Large or China Forbes? Storm

10. Regular or Decaf? Regular

11. Obama or Clinton? I promised my mentor Gretchen Kafoury that I would not endorse anyone for anything after I filed to run. So, not sayin'.

12. Cats or Dogs? Both! Amanda Fritz loves kittens and puppies! My family has three cats, adopted from the Humane Society. But I love dogs, too! Really!

13. NoPo or SoFoPo? Both. Really.

14. Cash or Charge? Charge. My kids continually drain the cash out of my wallet.

15. The last concert/show I went to was: Macbeth at Wilson High School. Show with a band: The Ed Forman Show, featuring Thuggage.

16. The last book I read was: "Leap of Faith" by Queen Noor of Jordan.

17. If I could swap jobs with anyone in Portland, it would be: Sam Adams (duh). If I don't get Sam's current job, I will stay in the one I have, nursing at OHSU with my amazing team of coworkers.

18. If I could live anywhere in Portland, it would be: In West Portland Park where I live now -- a wonderful, diverse neighborhood where 45% of the kids at Markham Elementary School get free school lunches, half the homes are rentals, and seeing families playing at the Holly Farm Park brings a smile to my face every day.

19. My first kiss was: Disappointing

20. My deepest, darkest secret is: that I don't have any deep dark secrets. My young deputy campaign manager implores me not to share this information with Mercury readers (who he insists are full of deep dark secrets) on the grounds that nobody would like or believe it. He offered a list of things I might have done..... nope.... no.... uh-uh... not as such......not that, either. OK, here's something: I am often late paying my water bill. It's our family's only recurring bill that isn't paid by automatic transfer, and I plum forget. If elected, I will find out what's taking so dang long in switching to monthly billing with automatic transfer.

Mike Fahey
Position sought: Commissioner #1
Website: friendsofmikefahey.com
Financial status: $14,630.00 in contributions to date, $10,523.99 currently in the bank

Did not respond by deadline.

The Slammer is open on Sundays now, from noon ‘til close. Bloody Marys and little cheesey microwaved breakfast sandwiches. Yup yup. Sunday hangovers just got that much easier. (On a related note, Pho Green Papaya should be open on Sundays.)

Slammer, 500 SE 8th; know it, love it.

For last weekend’s installment of Brunching with the Parents, we hit the Country Cat, on SE 79th and Stark. We rolled in at around ten on Saturday and the place was less than half full, though our server told me that Sundays are busier, and that things pick up later in the morning. I had some pretty excellent crab eggs benedict ($11), served on a biscuit with a side of seasoned potato wedges; Mom had skillet-fried chicken with pecan spoon bread ($10). Dad had a few slabs of animal, I forget which kind. Full bar, nice atmosphere, friendly service. Next time I am going to eat this:

Blackstrap Molasses Ham Sandwich With pickled red onion, herbed cream cheese, & whole grain mustard $9

It’s not super veggie friendly; there’s a chanterelle and white cheddar scramble which sounds pretty good, as well as pancakes and a grilled cheese and tomato soup combo.

7937 SE Stark, brunch from 9 am-2 pm

Hey! Check out all the Bruce Springsteen knob-gobbling going on over at End Hits! They’re more girly than I was before the Justin Timberlake concert! Anyhoo, here’s a hilarious tribute to the Boss featuring Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy recreating the seminal Springsteen/ Courtney Cox video hit “Dancing in the Dark.” It’s almost as good as actually being at the Springsteen concert tonight! (SOB! No it’s not.)

City Commissioner Erik Sten’s last day is next Friday. And, not surprisingly, next Wednesday’s city council session is essentially dedicated to him and the work he’s done.

First, there’s the citizen communications, which are usually a hodge podge of miscellaneous issues. Not this week:

• Request of Amanda Fritz to address Council regarding thanking Commissioner Sten for his service to Portland and Portlanders (Communication)

• Request of Patrick Nolen to address Council regarding thanking Commissioner Sten for his service to Portland’s homeless communities (Communication)

• Request of Susan Emmons to address Council regarding thanking Commissioner Sten for his exemplary service to seniors in Portland (Communication)

• Request of Leslie Esinga to address Council regarding thanking Commissioner Sten for his service to the community (Communication)

• Request of Celia Strauss to address Council regarding thanking Commissioner Sten for his hard work and support of New Columbia (Communication)

I’m sure the other members of city council will also weigh in. Someone bring the tissues!

But Sten’s giving the love right back:

TIME CERTAIN: 9:45 AM - Recognize the extraordinary commitment and dedication of Native American Youth and Family Center, the Bank of the West, the Housing Development Center, Income Property Management Company, Portland Development Commission and Bureau of Housing and Community Development in their combined efforts to preserve critically needed affordable rental housing for dozens of low income families (Resolution introduced by Commissioner Sten)

Campaigning for his darling wife, former President Bill Clinton is headed to Oregon this weekend, but he’s—so far—completely dodging Portland. The notice does say that “additional stops and details” are going to be announced, so maybe he will show up in our neck of the woods.

From Hillary Clinton’s campaign:

President Clinton Travels To Oregon Sunday and Monday

Will Make Stops in Medford, Bend

The Clinton campaign today announced President Bill Clinton will campaign in Oregon for Hillary this Sunday, March 30 and Monday, March 31. Clinton will attend a “Solutions for America” event in Medford in Sunday. He will campaign in Bend on Monday.

Additional stops and details to be announced.

All events are free and open to the public. Those wishing to attend the Medford “Solutions for America” are encouraged to RSVP at www.hillaryclinton.com/medford.

Sunday, March 30
Medford, OR

4:30 p.m. PDT
President Clinton Attends a “Solutions for America” Event
Hedrick Middle School
1501 East Jackson Street
Medford, OR
Additional details TBA

Monday, March 31
Bend, OR

Time TBA
President Clinton Attends a “Solutions for America” Event
Bend Senior High School
230 NE 6th Street
Bend, OR

Meanwhile, Barack Obama’s team is opening their Portland campaign office this weekend, and sending folks out to canvass for their candidates. Their press release gets in a nice dig: “The Obama campaign is the first Democratic presidential campaign to open offices or hold official canvass events in Oregon.”

That’s kicking off at 3016 SE Division (the old Wild Oats building), tomorrow at 11 am. Full details are after the cut.

Obama Campaign to Canvass For Change Throughout Oregon Canvass Kickoffs will be held throughout the state on Saturday

Portland, Oregon—The Obama campaign announced today that Obama for Oregon Canvass for Change kickoffs will be held throughout the state on Saturday, March 29. Hundreds of volunteers from around the state will canvass local neighborhoods speaking with voters, knocking on doors and spreading Senator Obama’s vision for change in America.

U.S. Congressman Earl Blumenauer and U.S. Congresswoman Jan Schakowsky of Illinois will canvass the streets of Portland after speaking with volunteers at the grand opening of the Obama for Oregon Headquarters in Portland. Representative Phil Barnhart will canvass after speaking with supporters at the office opening in Eugene and Executive Director of Oregon AFSCME Council 75 Ken Allen will canvass in Beaverton.

The Obama campaign is the first Democratic presidential campaign to open offices or hold official canvass events in Oregon.

The schedule for Saturday, March 29, 2008 is as follows:

Oregon Headquarters Grand Opening and Canvass:

WHO: U.S. Congressman Earl Blumenauer (D-OR)
U.S. Congresswoman Jan Schakowsky (D-IL)

WHEN: 11:00 AM UPDATED TIME

WHERE: 3016 SE Division St
Portland, OR 97202

Eugene Office Opening and Canvass:

WHO: Representative Phil Barnhart

WHEN: 10 AM

WHERE: 1280 Willamette St.
Eugene, OR

So Moshi Moshi—the Japanese-themed store/art gallery that used to reside over on Lower Burnside—moved next door to Billy Galaxy at the beginning of this month. This makes sense, because both Moshi Moshi and Billy Galaxy are owned by the same dude, who is named, uh, Billy Galaxy.

I stopped by Billy Galaxy and Moshi Moshi early this afternoon to check out the new digs—Galaxy has taken over the space on Burnside that used to be that weird little video store, Watch This!, and has completely renovated it. Now there’s a big open space in the wall that previously separated Billy Galaxy and Watch This!, so the two stores share register/counter space. (Though you still have to go outside to go back and forth between the stores, which is kind of a pain—especially if you, like me, are tremendously lazy.)

Billy Galaxy is much the same as I remember it being (though, admittedly, it’s been a few years since I last visited): It’s crammed to the rafters with vintage action figures, comic books, obscure records, glassware that’s classily emblazoned with scenes from Star Trek III: The Search for Spock, and things like, oh, I don’t know, a fucking BIB FORTUNA ERASER.

Moshi Moshi, on the other hand—which I never visited in its old location—is airy and open and minimal, featuring art on one wall (this month’s exhibit is a benefit for Buckman Elementary, and is all Mr. T-centric—my favorite of the works is at the top of this post) and boasting a range of stuff from apparel to stuffed animals to cell phone straps to whatever crazy/cute shit the Japanese are into these days.

(Galaxy also has a Moshi Moshi branch in Tokyo, which is at 2-27-10 Nishiogi-kita in Suginami. I did not visit that location. However, Galaxy told me it’s much the same--though instead of Japanese kitsch, there they sell American kitsch. Which simultaneously makes perfect sense and blows my mind.)

Galaxy noted that he moved Moshi Moshi so that the store would get more foot traffic, unlike the location across the street from the Doug Fir, which he noted was a “destination location.” Thanks to First Thursday and Moshi Moshi’s proximity to Powell’s, Jackpot Records, Reading Frenzy, and (obviously) Billy Galaxy, the move seems like a smart one.

Anyway: Now you know. So if you’re in the neighborhood, it’s well worth swinging by either or both of those stores. (If you want to get all Google Maps about it, both stores can be found at 912 W Burnside.) And if you do go by there, it’s also well worth buying this as a present for me, which is only $8, and which, ever since I left, I have been kicking myself for not buying.

Does Street Roots know something we don’t about the Sit/Lie ordinance? Director Israel Bayer made a post yesterday on the paper’s blog, saying “we’re not betting on…” the sit/lie law:

Should we call for a suspension of the ordinance? Should we respectfully decline to say anything at all? We had hoped we were wrong about the ordinance. Maybe we will still be proven wrong, but looking at the way things are now, we’re not betting on it.

Bayer quotes statistics on the ordinance’s enforcement: 79 of 88 warnings and tickets issued have gone to people experiencing homelessness. He describes the sit/lie law as a key component in moving homeless people along. Until now, homeless advocates have largely gone along with the ordinance because of the services being provided along with it, and in exchange for a seat at the bargaining table with the powers that be. Street Roots even got some money out of the deal. But it seems to me that they could be readying themselves for a gear-change in resistance on this issue, which is all rather exciting.

Our lovely ad designer Monet Molina was digging around in the Mercury archives yesterday, and came up with this classic staff photo from year one of our paper (circa. 2001).

Unfortunately due to a previous and alarming intake of booze, ecstasy, and lead based paint, I can no longer remember half the names of the original Mercury staff. THAT’S WHERE YOU COME IN!

Look closely at the above photo, and in the comments section below, identify by first name as many people in this picture as you can. I’ll check back in around this time on Monday (after doing some of my own research), and the person who correctly identifies the most original Mercury employees will win a pair of handcuffs and nipple clamps originally owned by the girl in the photo lifting her shirt.

Current and past Mercury employees are allowed to participate—HOWEVER! They must also provide the employees’ last names AND their original job at the paper!

REMEMBER: CONTEST ENDS AT 2 PM-ish MONDAY! Good luck!

Here’s a quick update to my earlier post some months back on the new businesses in the upper Hawthorne neighborhood (where I live). Tanker, the long-awaited bar at Hawthorne & 49th, was open for business last night. It’s the new project of Philip Ragaway (of Bar of the Gods, Shanghai Tunnel, and Tiny’s Coffee) and Tim Smale (of Belmont Computers and Red Square Cafe). I did not have a chance to stop in, but the wrapping paper is finally off the windows and the booze is flowing. I’ll try to check it out this weekend. Here’s what Ragaway told us about the place:

The goal is a classier level of upper hawthorne. but not over the top… compare to your favorite pair of jeans… not too stiff and not falling apart. The goal is more of an mature atmosphere with specialty products and a fine detail for quality. The main lead on this project is Tim Smale the original creator Belmont computers and Red Square cafe. Both places have great integrity and unique style to them.

A good way to envision this space is a smaller yet charming place somewhat like Sapphire Hotel but the masculine version with bit of a sports edge, unlike your typical sports bar. We will host a handful of softball teams, bicycle events, and play as much more of an asset to the neighborhood and community.

In other upper Hawthorne news, a new sandwich shop has opened in the vacant storefront next to Exiled Records. Sharing the same shopping center as the Hawthorne Liquor Store (on Hawthorne between 46th and 47th), it was a sleepy convenience store for a while. When that shut down a couple years ago, Exiled Records took over half the space. The other half has been unoccupied for a long time, so I was surprised to walk by and notice it’s open for business. East Side Deli looks to be a simple sandwich shop where you create your own sandwich from their list of ingredients. They also have soups, and a walk-up takeout window on the Hawthorne side of the building. I’ll have an opportunity to grab lunch there this weekend and give a report next week.

Gold panning could not be a more useful thing to know how to do in these modern, economically unsteady times. Good thing Michael Orlove, the 2007 Alaska Gold Panning Champion (?!) will be giving free gold panning demonstrations and lessons at the annual Rock, Gem, and Craft Show happening on April 5th at Mt. Hood Community College, from 10 am to 3 pm. Seriously, get off of your iphone and get on this.

Okay, here’s a weird one. But if you love, love, LOVE the NPR series This American Life, this may be the event for you!

This American Life - Live!

On Thursday, May 1st acclaimed radio and television host Ira Glass will bring the wildly popular show This American Life to the big screen for a one-night only event. Glass debuts never-before-seen extraordinary, funny and true stories from everyday life, shows outtakes, and answers audience questions. This exclusive theatre event will be broadcast LIVE from New York via satellite to select movie theatres nationwide.

This one-night event features special guests and is presented in HD and Cinema Surround Sound.

Tickets go on sale beginning April 4th. Don’t miss your chance to see “This American Life - Live!” on the big screen Thursday May 1, 2008 at 8PM EDT / 7 PM CDT / 6 PM MDT and time delayed to 8PM PDT.

Attendees may submit a question for Ira Glass in advance at ask@thisamericanlife.org. Select questions will be answered during the event.

In Portland, this event will be screening at the Lloyd Center 10 theaters, and pop over to HERE for more info!

It sure feels funny talking about “Spring” after making my way through the snow to get to work this morning, but here goes: spring cleaning. Forget cleaning the house, for me this means an annual analysis and overhaul of the closet and drawers, a good and necessary exercise. However, considering the fact that I’ve never had a job with a dress code, business suits don’t really factor in the equation. If, however, you will be editing out some good condition women’s suits, here’s a great way to offload them: Surely You’ve heard of Dress for Success, the non-profit that, among other things, collects and distributes interview suits for its clients as part of a larger effort to help them attain career goals. On Thursday, April 3rd, Hotel Monaco (506 SW Washington) and Hotel Vintage Plaza (422 SW Broadway) will be collecting donations from 6:30-9:30 am, and offering coffee and pastries in return. Later that night at the Vintage Plaza, there will also be a benefit: The Art of Wine, featuring uh, wine, as well as mini makeovers from MAC Cosmetics, massages from Relax and Rejuvenate, raffles, art, and more. The event runs 5-7 pm, with a suggested donation of $25 at the door, and all proceeds going to the cause.

More to do with your threads on M.O.D.

Few games this year are more anticipated than Grand Theft Auto IV, and this—the game’s final trailer—does a pretty great job of showing why. The game finally hits in April, when it’s sure to be what everyone’s talking about in junior high school cafeterias and politicians’ war rooms alike.

Via Kotaku.

FINDING NORMAL: Addiction buddies…

Those of you an interest in addiction and recovery might like to know about today’s screening of Brian Lindstrom’s Finding Normal at City Hall, from 1pm-3pm. Lindstrom released the movie last year: It’s about Central City Concern’s recovery mentor program, focusing on those with serious addictions, and with a remarkable success rate. Today’s screening is hosted by the mayor and Commissioner Randy Leonard. I’m also writing a new documentary with Lindstrom and the Mental Health Association of Portland, about the 2006 death of James Chasse, called Alien Boy. Cough. Shameless plug for one of my friends. Cough. Cough.

Here is a friendly reminder that this event is happening tomorrow and is free to the public.

Have you ever wanted to meet me and punch me in the jaw then run away as I crumble to the ground in a pool of tears talk about music? Well my friend, now is your chance.

On Saturday, March 29th, the Musicians Union is hosting a “Meet with the Press” Q&A where you can say hello to Portland’s best music critics—Luciana Lopez (Oregonian), Amy McCullough (Willamette Week), Barbara Mitchell (Portland Tribune)—along with myself, “Portland’s Ninth Best Music Critic With a Beard Who Is Named Ezra.”

The event is an ideal opportunity to speak about the relationship between local bands and the media, get an outside perspective on how to better pitch your music to the press, and I’m sure we will cover all sorts of other issues as well.

Sadly, the Musicians Union rejected my idea of adding a battle royal to the death (“Four critics enter, only one lives to blog about it…”) at the end of the event. Then again, that’s probably a good thing.

Full press release below…

End Hits: Next week I’m appearing at the RV show at the Expo Center.

Ever wanted to Meet with the Press?

The Musicians Union, Local 99 is hosting 4 of our esteemed local
music writers for an afternoon presentation and Q & A about their
jobs, press releases, what they like to see, and how you might help
yourself get some press.

Present at the event will be:
Luciana Lopez Pop Music Critic-Oregonian
Amy McCullough Music Editor-Willamette Week
Ezra A. Caraeff Music Editor-Portland Mercury
Barbara Mitchell Music Critic-Portland Tribune

Saturday, March 29, 2008
2-4 PM

Musicians Union Hall
325 NE 20th
Portland, OR

The event is free to all, though we are suggesting a $5, tax
deductible, donation to the Music Education Assistance Project, a
non-profit organization that provides support for Public School Music Programs.

Welcome to Portland. The city where it’s sunny on February 10, then snows on March 28.
Le Portland: Il fait de la neige…

Seen something incredulous? Email it to: todayinpdx@portlandmercury.com.

Hey there folks! Welcome to another Friday! Let’s get right into it…

1. On top of the the next Indiana Jones movie (release date: May 22, 2008), Sean Connery continues his massive comeback by expressing interest in the next Bond film - as a villian! While some will find this cheesy and in bad taste, I say green light that sucker! Either way, this next Bond film will be BADASS and Daniel Craig will be annointed his rightful place as the best Bond since Timothy Dalton (Yeah that’s right, I said it).

Yeah Pony-Tailed 1970s Sean Connery!

2. Hi DEF sunglasses…That’s right, make reality look more real!

3. Everyone’s favorite dentist wait room mag, Entertainment Weekly, has released its best indie rock albums of the last 25 years. Here it is.

1984: The Replacements - Let It Be
1985: The Smiths - Meat Is Murder
1986: R.E.M. - Life’s Rich Pageant
1987: Dinosaur Jr. - You’re Living All Over Me
1988: Sonic Youth - Daydream Nation
1989: The Pixies - Doolittle
1990: Fugazi - Repeater
1991: My Bloody Valentine - Loveless
1992: Pavement - Slanted and Enchanted
1993: Built To Spill - Ultimate Alternative Wavers
1994: Guided By Voices - Bee Thousand
1995: Archers Of Loaf - Vee Vee
1996: Belle And Sebastian - If You’re Feeling Sinister
1997: Modest Mouse - Lonesome Crowded West
1998: Neutral Milk Hotel - In the Aeroplane Over the Sea
1999: Sleater-Kinney - The Hot Rock
2000: Yo La Tengo - And then Nothing Turned Itself Inside Out
2001: The Shins - Oh, Inverted World
2002: Interpol - Turn on the Bright Lights
2003: The White Stripes - Elephant
2004: Arcade Fire- Funeral
2005: Bright Eyes - I’m Wide Awake, It’s Morning
2006: The Hold Steady - Boys and Girls in America
2007: Spoon - Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga
2008: Radiohead - In Rainbows

4. Funny little web series

Phone Call from Amir on Vimeo.

5. The Boss at the Rose Garden tonight! What could be better than 5-8 50 years olds playing the same C, G, and D chords on guitar for 3 hours.

6. Or go see this guy instead at the Aladdin Theater.

José González - Down The Line

Alright people, get out there and be all we know you can be!

Months ago, I pointed out that someone had secured the website john4pdx.com—which was strikingly similar to city council candidate John Branam’s website, john4pdx.org. Except the .com address went to an old Willamette Week item about a supposedly controversial book Branam gave to a few colleagues.

Shortly after I reported that, the .com website no longer redirected, and was just a boilerplate web host’s ad-filled page.

No longer… now the .com site redirects to my column last week, where I blasted the campaign for the ridiculous decision to blow $25,000 in public funds on campaign manager Phil Busse’s salary—and $15,000 of that in a lump sum pre-payment.

And what wonderful timing for the Branam campaign. A few weeks ago, they handed out campaign literature that accidentally listed the .com address instead of the correct .org address. (You’d think for $25K, a campaign manager who touts his copywriting and legal skills as reasons for the high pay would A) catch that sort of typo and B) secure the .com address for the campaign.) Busse said a second printing of the literature would be corrected.

(P.S. - hat tip to Just Out’s Stephen Marc Beaudoin.)

In February 2009, the United States will “unplug” analog television broadcasting. While the millions of viewers with cable or satellite will be unaffected, those watching television through antennas will be suddenly left with dead air. On Saturday, March 22nd, the Video Gentlemen launched BYOTV (Bring Your Own TV) at New American Art Union. BYOTV is an ambitious, if a bit unfocused (or should I say “snowy”), array of installations, workshops, and video presentations stretching over six weeks. The space itself has been transformed into a broadcasting station, in which three short range signal transmitters beam video into the air, and viewers are free to manipulate supplied (or brought) televisions to mix, distort, and otherwise play with the broadcasts. If this sounds like a lot of distortion and white noise, it is. The Video Gentlemen are among those soldering-iron armed lads who rejoice in electrical errors, bent circuits, and noise as music.

But this show is by no means limited to lo-fi gimmickry: There are serious issues being discussed here. While the decision to terminate analog broadcast will supposedly ease the Federal deficit, free up frequencies for emergency responders, and supply higher quality television to those who are currently watching analog broadcasts, it also marks the largest and most affecting government mandated technology upgrade in US history, brings up numerous class, accessibility, and environmental issues, and for some artists, threatens the manner in which they work. There are also issues of progress being discussed; the death of analog broadcasting is just one corpse in the ever growing graveyard of obsolescence. Polaroid film, Kodak slides, and floppy disks, mainstays of our lives just twenty years ago, are being laid to rest with an almost hedonistic abandon. And lest you think this graveyard is figurative, it has been estimated that over 80 million analog television sets will be junked in the next two years.

There’s obviously a lot to be managed here, and it will be interesting to see how The Video Gentlemen handle it all. To tune in, click here.

The Portland Funbook #3 need YOU to make an awesome drawing or an awesome song. #3 will bring more music and more art than your eyeballs and earballs can handle! Be it obvious or obscure, we need submissions from all about Portland. This time the book will be an oversized 11”×17”, the record 10”, the glory immeasurable. And as with #1 and #2 all profits from the sale and release party will go to charity. The 3rd Portland Funbook will be the definitive regional activity/coloring book for next thousand years. Live your kindergarden dream!

For complete submission details visit here and download the pdf.

If you don’t know about The Portland Funbook you can download pdfs and music here.

My kindergarten dream was to be a veterinarian and have a house full of devoted animal friends that I had nursed back to health. Yes, I am aware that I plagiarized my kindergarten dream from Doctor Doolittle. The Funbook is really a fun delightful project, a Portland-centric coloring book that’s full of local talent and all the proceeds go to charity. Try out! Your parents will be so pleased you’re putting that Fine Arts degree to good use. (Meanwhile, I’m still waiting for my liberal arts degree to open the door to a future in trophy wife-ism. Any day now.)

Remember yesterday when I was singing the praises of my new pork log I purchased from a Vietnamese grocery? Well sadly, there are those in this world who cannot abide with someone like me having something as wonderful as a pork log. To put it bluntly…

MY PORK LOG HAS BEEN PORK NAPPED!

This sheet of paper is all I found when I opened the office fridge this afternoon for my mid-day pork snack. Luckily for me I work with some very stupid people, and have already narrowed down the suspect list to a few very stupid employees. Why so stupid? Here’s a list of reasons:
1) They left no ransom demands.
2) The photo was obviously taken in the Mercury’s news room, on the Mercury’s news room chair.
3) The knife is the same one our receptionist Brad Buckner has refused to wash for the last three months.
4) The wrist and forearm is that of an effeminate male. (That pretty much sums up our office right there.)
5) There are only three people in the office today with their arms exposed (i.e. wearing t-shirts or rolled up sleeves).
6) The ridiculous addition of fake blood at the bottom of the log can only be the work of one with severe dementia or mental retardation. (Again, summing up the majority of our office.)

SO HERE’S THE DEAL. While I could easily deduce and prove who kidnapped my pork log, or pay the so far non-existent ransom to insure my log’s safe return, I have instead decided to follow in the words and deeds of Mel Motherfucking Gibson in his role as Tom Mullen in the classic Ron Howard film Ransom. Here’s my statement:

To the person or persons who kidnapped my pork log. Sitting before me on my desk is three million dollars in cash—but that’s the closest you’ll ever get to it. Instead I’m offering this money as a reward on your head. If I don’t get my log back, I’m going to dedicate my life to tracking you down. You still have a chance to do the right thing. If you don’t, then God be with you—because nobody else on earth will be. You kill the log, you kill yourself.

GIVE ME BACK MY LOG!!!

This week on Easier Than Reading, join your host Andrew R. Tonry as he fills you in on all the fantastic live music you need to check out this week. Hear tunes from the Ruby Suns, Jose Gonzales, Johnny Cash covering the Boss, Anoushka Shankar (pictured above), Starfucker, and Jeffrey Lewis. Listen here.

U.S. Senate candidate—and current Oregon House Speaker—Jeff Merkley was hanging around on SE Powell this afternoon, celebrating the demise of Oregon’s 13 Check Into Cash shops. There were balloons, there was sparkling cider, and there was a very happy Merkley:

“We’re celebrating the departure of Check Into Cash, which is checking out of Portland,” Merkley says. Because of a cap on interest that payday lenders can charge in Oregon—it’s 36 percent now, as opposed to the previous 300 to 500 percent annual interest, thanks to state legislation Merkley spearheaded—”they say they just can’t squeeze enough profit out of Oregonians,” Merkley says.

He’d like to cap payday lenders’ interest rate nationally, and add “tough new restrictions on loans sold over the internet,” if he makes it into the Senate.

As if Photoshop weren’t free already, Adobe has launched a free online version of the software that makes good bloggers into great ones. See here.

I’ve just been on the Photoshop Express website and apart from being freaked out by all the super-fast images on there, have decided it looks worth investigating. So, be off with you.

Here’s a good-news, bad-news post for your Thursday. I’ll let you decide which is which. First off, Johnny Diablo, owner of Casa Diablo (you know, the Vegan strip club) has put his joint up for sale. I guess that vegans and va-heena weren’t quite the match everyone thought they’d be.

Second, this news was broken by none other than the New York Times…Style section. Here’s how they start the story:

TWO things that you can find a lot of in Portland, Ore., are vegans and strip clubs

Wow. They New York Times has got us pegged! Aside from the somewhat derogatory opening line, the story goes on to outline an interesting debate in the Vegan community: Should sex be used to sell the message of good health and anti-animal cruelty?

It seems that there are many people in the Vegan community who find the use of flesh to promote Vegan ideals both exploitive and hypocritical:

Isa Chandra Moskowitz, a cookbook author, is among those who believe such images twist the vegan message. “As a feminist, I’m not keen on the idea of using women’s bodies to sell veganism, and I’m not into the idea of using veganism to sell women’s bodies,” she said.

The images that are being referred to here include a new PETA2 ad campaign, aimed at younger audiences featuring Stumptown’s own Suicide Girls.

More on veganism, ethics and nudie pix after the jump!

On the other hand, there are supporters of the “sex sells” strategy, like the ladies from Vegan Vixens. I can't say much about their music, but damn...

Vegans who use sexuality to promote the cause say it is a good way to convert carnivores — in particular, men. Sky Valencia, the founder of the Vegan Vixens, said her group targets “the people who buy Playboy and Maxim and watch talk shows like Jerry Springer. Those are the people we want to educate because they don’t know anything about the environment or animal rights issues or health.”

And, she said, men have told her that it works. “We’ve gotten a lot of men eating vegetarian, if not vegan.”

What? Men eating Vegans? Is that some sort of freaky double entendre?
Oh, s’cuse me. That’s “eating vegan.” My bad.

Turns out feminism and veganism have been inextricably linked for a long time. Personally, I’m supportive of both movements, but I tend to get a bit irate when people in any movement lose their sense of humor.

How is a woman choosing to take her clothes off exploitive, especially when it’s for a good cause? Here’s the blessed voice of reason from the NYT article:

Elaine Vigneault, 32, a vegan and former women’s studies major who lives in New York, doesn’t have a problem with a vegan strip club or a recent PETA protest in London in which a pregnant woman got into a cage in her underwear to draw attention to the treatment of pregnant pigs. “I think it’s really important that when reviewing and analyzing images of women, we take into account their perspective of what they’re trying to say,” Ms. Vigneault said.

And another:

Rory Freedman, an author of the “Skinny Bitch” books, which promote veganism in the guise of a diet, said women who are taking part in demonstrations and stripping off their clothes “are choosing to do so of their own free will.” The issues they are exposing, she said, “are the torture of animals that don’t have free will.”

Brava!

It seems to me that a lack of perspective and humor leads to fundamentalism. The problem with fundamentalism is that it divides individuals across unmovable ideological boundaries. And when you’re divided you just can’t get shit done.

Anyway, Casa Diablo probably won’t be around very much longer. You wanna talk about cruelty? What about the young lady from the Casa Diablo press release:

When one dancer was asked why she didn’t want to work at her current club she said,” I can’t stand the smell of smoldering rotting carcasses when I walk by the kitchen. It is totally gross. I’ve been a vegan for three and a half years and I can’t stand the thought of working in a place that serves murder victims on a bun. Working at a club like Casa Diablo Gentlemen’s Club is my dream!”

Not only is she losing her dream, she’ll be forced to take off her clothes in a “totally gross” animal killing establishment. For shame! Notice, by-the-way, that the gross factor is not from the stripping.

So, I’ll leave the continuation of this debate for the comments section. But I gotta tell you, after seeing those Suicide Girls pics, I am seriously considering eating vegan. If only I could convince my fiancée…

ANSWER: You do not. You cannot. NO ONE CAN.

I just started at the Mercury as the new Art Director about a month ago, and after a bit of pleading, was kind enough to be offered a seat on the Blogtown City Council. I am anxious to start feeding in bits of art and design news, but for today my feelings of introducing myself to the residents of Blogtown can best be summed up by the following video…

Tandi Iman Dupree on FunnyOrDie.com

I thought it would take a little longer than it did—I guess I underestimated this town’s knowledge (or Googling ability) of musicians and their respective faiths—but we have our two winners of the “Relgious Who’s Who” contest. Congratulations go out to Nathan Winters and Daniel Flessas (who, according, to our office headmaster Brad Büchner, “was surprised he’d won, given the fact that he is in Boston right now and didn’t even know about the contest. Apparently someone filled it out for him. How nice!”), they take home their choice of a $50 Music Millennium gift certificate or a $50 Jackpot Records gift certificate, plus a Gideon bible stolen from the Unicorn Inn.*

Thanks to all those who entered, and congrats to the gentlemen who won.

* I have a confession to make. The bible prize was a lie. The only thing that scares me more than a (stolen) bible, is lifting one from that motel. It’s scary. Sorry, I lied, but the gift certificates are very real. Nothing scary about those.

I’m a big fan of OPB’s new “Think Out Loud” series. They’ve already tackled the issue of James Chasse’s mysterious death at the hands of law enforcement, and now, they’ve put together a show on laws that go after the civil rights of homeless people. It’s like they’re inside my mind!

The City of Roseburg passed a law last year making it illegal for motorists to give money away while sitting in traffic. Violators face a $75 fine. The ACLU is challenging a new law in Medford that places penalties on the panhandlers themselves, fining them up to $3000. Soliciting spare change is still legal in Portland, but sitting and lying on the sidewalk between 7:00am and 9:00pm could get you in trouble.

Do laws against panhandling and sidewalk obstruction help solve the problem of homelessness? Are they fairly enforced? What laws should govern homeless people?

Great questions. Guests on Tuesday’s show, which you can listen to here included Maria Rubio, the mayor’s public safety policy manager, Andrea Meyer of the ACLU, and my own street bed-buddy Patrick Nolen of Sisters of the Road. There’s a fantastic discussion, with some real maniacs calling in. Enjoy.

Folks from the Portland Bureau of Planning have teamed up with some masters’ students from PSU’s Urban and Regional Planning program in order to ask some fairly obvious questions about Portland’s food carts. Through direct interviews with owners and an on-line survey, the joint study hopes to find out what kind of impact food carts have on the urban atmosphere and what role the city should play in their regulation. I, in turn, can only ask: why?

Alright, maybe I shouldn’t be so harsh about it. I mean, not everybody has enjoyed a meal from one of Portland’s numerous and tasty food carts. Still, if you need to ask if “food carts make a more lively and engaging streetscape,” you have obviously never been on SW 5th and Oak at lunchtime.

I kind of understand where they are coming from. Food carts remain largely unregulated and their growing numbers could cause some concern over public health and space issues. But according to the press release, that doesn’t seem to be at the forefront of this study.

Here are some of the questions they’d like answered.

What effects do food carts have on street vitality and neighborhood life? Do food carts make a more lively and engaging streetscape? Do food carts provide a space for impromptu social interaction between people?

To what extent do food carts serve as an entry-point into long term business ownership? Do they provide beneficial economic opportunities for residents of Portland?

I can only hope that their study will extend to brick and mortar restaurants that have sprung from the glazed BBQ loins of Portland’s cart culture. I can also hope that while the students are quizzing cart owners, they’ll stop, order—oh, I don’t know— a delightful pork tamale steamed in Banana leaf, and eat it on the spot. I can tell them right now that people enjoying food attracts people who want to enjoy food. One of the best ways to develop community is to start by asking, “What did you order?”

Another week, another Mercury music section to read while you count your blessings for not growing up goth in England. That is fucked up.

It only took seven years of lobbying, but I finally convinced the powers that be here at Merc HQ to put Bruce Springsteen on the cover. In case you have not noticed, it’s our sorta annual music issue this week, and the paper features all sorts of great stuff on the topic of religion and music. Finally, this rag is God approved, well, maybe with the exception of those hard working ladies in the back of the paper.

But it’s not all bible thumpin’ and guitar pickin’, we actually wrote about some upcoming shows as well. Included in this is Jim White, who coincidentally is right at home in an issue about religious imagery and music.
MP3: Jim White - A Town Called Amen

What’s more punk thank an entire album of Crass covers? Performing them as simple folk songs. Indie-savant Jeffrey Lewis does just that with 12 Crass Songs, which, like all his recordings, is both frustrating and brilliant.
MP3: Jeffrey Lewis - Banned From The Roxy

Meshuggah (or משוגע as they are known in Isreal) are Sweden’s finest metal export. But you’d be angry too if you lived in a country with amazing health care, low crime rates, and an average of 7 weeks paid vacation.
MP3: Meshuggah - Combustion

Everyone in the pool! It’s time for some good Summertime vibes courtesy of New Zealand’s the Ruby Suns. No running by the pool, and for god’s sake, cut out that horseplay!
MP3: The Ruby Suns - Kenya Dig It?

End Hits: We, too, think that “Kenya Dig It?” is a terrible name for a song.

• President Bush has alleged that Iraqi government officials have made more progress than our own congress. Yeah, it’s funny how bombing the shit out of somebody can be a great motivator.

• A carefully orchestrated press tour designed to show that China has been doing great after recent anti-government riots was interrupted by MONKS ON A RAMPAGE! (BTW, I’ve copyrighted that name.)

• Robin Williams’ wife files for divorce! (I’m shocked she made it this long.)

• Rapper T.I. is expected to plead guilty today to federal weapons charges and will probably face jail time and 1,500 hours of community service. HOLY CRAP! That’s more service to the community that George Bush and Dick Cheney combined!

• In other “rap” news, the LA Times has apologized for reporting on fabricated documents that implicated associates of Sean “P.Diddy” Combs in an assault on Tupac Shakur. But really… how hard is it to fool a honkie?

• Yipes! Even more rap news! Female rap star Remy Ma has just been convicted on “two counts of first-degree assault, attempted coercion, and criminal possession of a weapon.” So for those keeping track at home: rappers were mean, then they were nice, and now they’re mean again.

• A Texas rancher is in trouble with the state’s liquor control commission for selling bottles of vodka with rattlesnakes inside. CAN SOMEONE PLEASE GET ME A BOTTLE OF THIS FOR MY BIRTHDAY?!?

The answers these candidates are giving are hilarious and revealing—Jim Middaugh secretly wants to be a folk singer, Ed Garren and Fred Stewart had the guts to admit they’ve gone to a strip club, the best hot wings in town are apparently at Harold Williams Two’s house, and Nick Fish’s first kiss was yucky. I hope you enjoy.

Jim Middaugh
Position sought: Commissioner #2
Website: jimforportland.com
Financial status: $150,000 in public funding, $136,926.17 currently in the bank

1. I get to work in/on/by: I bike

2. My favorite Portland bridge is: St. Johns

3. My favorite neighborhood business district is: East Burnside and 28th

4. At a bar, I order: An IPA

5. The politician I most admire is: John Kitzhaber

6. The non-politician I most admire is: My father

7. This is the best place in Portland for…

pizza: Dove Vivi
coffee: Stumptown
strippers: No idea
hot wings: Not sure
beer: Too many to count
fancy dinner: Higgins
a picnic: Tie: Sauvie Island/Washington Park Rose Garden

8. Todd Haynes or Gus Van Sant? Van Sant

9. Storm Large or China Forbes? Storm

10. Regular or Decaf? Regular

11. Obama or Clinton? Obama

12. Cats or Dogs? Dogs (I’m allergic to cats)

13. NoPo or SoFoPo? Both are awesome

14. Cash or Charge? Charge

15. The last concert/show I went to was: Lloyd Jones

16. The last book I read was: Sick Puppy, Carl Hiaasen

17. If I could swap jobs with anyone in Portland, it would be: Erik Sten

18. If I could live anywhere in Portland, it would be: Right where I live now

19. My first kiss was: Terrifying

20. My deepest, darkest secret is: I want to be a folk singer

Fred Stewart
Position sought: Commissioner #2
Website: fredforportland.com
Financial status: $525 in contributions, $295 currently in the bank

1. I get to work in/on/by: 2001 Jaguar S-Type (Serviced By Monte Shelton)

2. My favorite Portland bridge is: Fremont Bridge

3. My favorite neighborhood business district is: Alberta Arts District.

4. At a bar, I order: Terminal Gravity IPA

5. The politician I most admire is: John F Kennedy

6. The non-politician I most admire is: Martin Luther King Jr.

7. This is the best place in Portland for...

pizza: Silver Dollar
coffee: Coffee People
strippers: Dolphin 2 and Stars Beaverton Hard to choose just one.
hot wings: Boomers at Jantzen Beach
beer: Terminal Gravity IPA
fancy dinner: El Goucho
a picnic: Washington Park

8. Todd Haynes or Gus Van Sant? Gus Vansant

9. Storm Large or China Forbes? Strom Large.....especially if she has that black fish net dress on.

10. Regular or Decaf? Regular

11. Obama or Clinton? I can not wait to vote for Clinton.

12. Cats or Dogs? I love both. Hard to choose. I own two cats right now.

13. NoPo or SoFoPo? NoPo

14. Cash or Charge? Cash

15. The last concert/show I went to was: Last night at the Bitter End. Forgot the name of the band

16. The last book I read was: My Grandfather's Son: A Memoir by Clarence Thomas

17. If I could swap jobs with anyone in Portland, it would be: Paul Allen

18. If I could live anywhere in Portland, it would be: The house across the street from mine

19. My first kiss was: In 5th Grade. Was not very good. I think I am a lot better at it now.:)

20. My deepest, darkest secret is: Stacies Mom.....nuff said

Ed Garren
Position sought: Commissioner #2
Website: edforportland.com
Financial status: $2,145.00 in contributions, $693.93 currently in the bank

1. I get to work in/on/by: I have very arthritic feet, so I have to drive off the island, usually in my Jetta Diesel. About half the time, I use the MAX from Kenton to my office. The rest of the time, I try to combine trips. I squeeze about 500 miles, a month's worth of driving, out of 13 gallons of diesel fuel.

2. My favorite Portland bridge is: For sheer grace and beauty, the St. John's bridge.

3. My favorite neighborhood business district is: Hayden Island, of course. If it's not at Safeway, you can't buy it. But we DO miss Zupan's.

4. At a bar, I order: Bourbon on the rocks, or a sweet stout microbrew.

5. The politician I most admire is: (former) Congresswoman Cynthia McKinney, Green Party Presidential candidate. See the documentary "American Blackout" to know why.

6. The non-politician I most admire is: Tyler Perry. Smart, talented, funny, refused to abandon his vision, continues to triumph. You've got to love "Madea" Anyone up for a good game of "Grit Ball" ? (hint, the movie of "Madea's Family Reunion")

7. This is the best place in Portland for...

pizza: "Best" is tricky when it comes to pizza. I've never had a BAD pizza in Portland, and I've never met a pizza I didn't like.

coffee: Spella on SW Alder & 9th, tell Andreas I sent you.

strippers: The Silverado, just moved to 318 SW 3rd Ave. It's the only place for guys like me.

hot wings: "Boomers" on Jantzen Beach/Hayden Island.

beer: Widmer. My neighbor is one of the brewmasters there. But Portland beer is like Portland Pizza, what's not to like? It will take me a long time to sample all of the great beer in Portland.

fancy dinner: Be-Won (Korean) Restaurant, 1203 NW 23rd Ave. Make sure you have a "Hite" (Korean) beer, very light and smooth.

a picnic: Government Island (use the boat dock on the river).

8. Todd Haynes or Gus Van Sant? Neither, John Sayles ("Passion Fish", "Secret of Roan Inish", "Brother from Another Planet", "Lonestar", "Sunshine State", "Silver City" to name a few.)

9. Storm Large or China Forbes? Storm, we "big girls" need to stick together.

10. Regular or Decaf? Regular, and lots of it.

11. Obama or Clinton? Obama, Obama, Obama. Can we have Michelle after eight years with Barack?

12. Cats or Dogs? Dogs. Have you met Solomon? We're forming "Dogs for Ed" if any of you want to sign up. We welcome cats too, but I'll start sneezing in about five minutes.

13. NoPo or SoFoPo?: It's NoPo for now, but if prices keep going up it could be Troutdale soon.

14. Cash or Charge? Cash

15. The last concert/show I went to was: "The Nutcracker", the Oregon Ballet ROCKS and Javier Ubell can REALLY jump.

16. The last book I read was: I'm working on "Dispatches from the Edge" by Anderson Cooper

17. If I could swap jobs with anyone in Portland, it would be: Erik Sten, it's why I'm a candidate.

18. If I could live anywhere in Portland, it would be: Where I live, on the Columbia River, on Hayden Island. I love the trains, the planes, the boats, the barges, the osprey, the geese and ducks, and watching the traffic on the old I-5 bridge. I think I have the best view in Portland. It will be great when the MAX gets here so I can ride my bike to it without risking my life through two freeway interchanges.

19. My first kiss was: A flood of emotion followed by a big question. (Things were fairly repressive for gay men where I grew up those MANY years ago). Fortunately, I've had a lot of fun finding the answers to that question.

20. My deepest, darkest secret is: I would like to be "Madea" in my next life. Sometimes I think I'm halfway there now.

Harold C. Williams Two
Position sought: Commissioner #2
Website: none
Financial status: $300 in contributions, $300 currently in the bank

1. I get to work in/on/by: The real question is when do I sleep.

2. My favorite Portland bridge is: Broadway

3. My favorite neighborhood business district is: All

4. At a bar, I order: Tea

5. The politician I most admire is: All

6. The non-politician I most admire is: Who ever wake up this morning

7. This is the best place in Portland for...

pizza: Don't Know
coffee: AJ Java
strippers: Don't Know
hot wings: My House
beer: Don't Know
fancy dinner: Don't know
a picnic: Don't Know

8. Todd Haynes or Gus Van Sant? Don't know

9. Storm Large or China Forbes? Don't know

10. Regular or Decaf? Green Tea

11. Obama or Clinton? Obama

12. Cats or Dogs? Dogs

13. NoPo or SoFoPo? Don't Know

14. Cash or Charge? Debt

15. The last concert/show I went to was: Prince

16. The last book I read was: Diary of a Man Vol. I and Vol. II

17. If I could swap jobs with anyone in Portland, it would be: Erik Stein Portland City Commissioner Position (2)

18. If I could live anywhere in Portland, it would be: My House

19. My first kiss was: I guess one of my parents

20. My deepest, darkest secret is: I love Chocolate.

Nick Fish
Position sought: Commissioner #2
Website: nickfish2008.com
Financial status: $44,960.01 in contributions, $38,887.83 currently in the bank

1. I get to work in/on/by: Carpool

2. My favorite Portland bridge is: Hawthorne Bridge

3. My favorite neighborhood business district is: Hollywood

4. At a bar, I order: Widmer Hefeweizen

5. The politician I most admire is: Barney Frank

6. The non-politician I most admire is: Neal Kenny Guyer (Mercy Corps)

7. This is the best place in Portland for...

pizza: Escape from New York
coffee: Stumptown
strippers: pass (refer the question to Eliot Spitzer)
hot wings: Laurelwood Public House & Brewery
beer: Widmer Brothers Brewery
fancy dinner: Lolo on Alberta
a picnic: Grant Park

8. Todd Haynes or Gus Van Sant? Todd Haynes

9. Storm Large or China Forbes? Storm Large

10. Regular or Decaf? Regular

11. Obama or Clinton? Obama

12. Cats or Dogs? Both. But my wife is allergic to animals.

13. NoPo or SoFoPo? Both

14. Cash or Charge? Debit card

15. The last concert/show I went to was: Devin Phillips at Jimmy Maks

16. The last book I read was: The End of Oil by Paul Roberts

17. If I could swap jobs with anyone in Portland, it would be: Erik Sten

18. If I could live anywhere in Portland, it would be: 39th and Knott NE (my home)

19. My first kiss was: yucky

20. My deepest, darkest secret is: I think Randy Leonard is a great city commissioner.

This is the scene at the Ambridge Events Center at NE MLK and Multnomah:

Billed as “The Big Job Interview,” it’s more like watching the UN debate something (to steal a line from one campaign staffer here). It’s big, but it’s confusing and a bit tedious and slow.

I think I’ve heard each candidate speak once, maybe twice, in the last hour and a half, on issues like domestic violence, what they’d change about the city charter, or what will the county look like in five years. There’s a mix of city commissioner, mayoral, and county commissioner candidates up there. With the exceptions of the race for Randy Leonard’s seat, and the mayor’s race, the candidates who are competing with each other aren’t even sitting together. I’m having a hard time comparing people to the folks they’re actually running against; I can’t imagine what the average voter is getting out of this (if there are any here—the 200 or so seats are maybe a third full, and a lot of those folks are campaign staffers).

A few highlights:

“We’re as big as Texas, but we think like Rhode Island,” says mayoral candidate Bob Leonard Forthan in his (bizarre) closing assessment of Portland.

Amanda Fritz, taking the mic to answer a question, and hopping to her feet: “I’ll stand. Because I stand up when no one else does.”

“I’ll take off the month of June, then get to work on July 1,” says Sho Dozono, outlines his priorities (and assuming he’ll win outright in May). Sam Adams shoots back: “Well, I’ll work through June, then…”

Then there was the time Marta Perez asked for votes because she’s “prettier than Randy Leonard,” and the time she sang—yes, sang—”I believe the children are our future, teach them well and let them lead the way…” Leonard chimed in: “She’s prettier than me, and sh