We’re now into the final ten contestants on American Idol, which means a respectable amount of the bullshit is over, and we can get down to brass tacks. To sum up, this year’s Sanjaya and my personal fave is already gone, the uber-gay Danny Noriega. Still around? Another reason to be ashamed you live here, Oregon resident Kristy Lee Cook who is gearing up to be the Carrie Underwood of this competition. How do I know? Check out a few seconds of Kristy’s competent but gag-worthy rendition of Lee Greenwood’s “Proud to be an American” and decide for yourself: Is she tricking Americans into thinking she actually likes America, or is she just another Oregon hillbilly? (Remember, just watch a few seconds.)

GAG!

The rest of the evening was expectedly unmemorable and annoying… EXCEPT for David Cook’s rendition of Chris Cornell’s rendition of “Billie Jean” by Michael Jackson. Gotta admit it, that was pretty freaking awesome. (It’s a good idea to watch all of this.)

Your opinion on anything American Idol-related is welcome—just thank your lucky stars the internet is still anonymous.