• According to an email we received from the Dozono campaign, Tom Potter will be endorsing Sho Dozono for mayor. WOW. Is that the kiss of death or what?

• A small explosion rocked New York’s Times Square this morning, which the authorities are claiming was NOT terrorism. (…don’t panic… don’t panic… don’t panic….)

• Hillary Clinton has raised $3 million in campaign funds in 24 hours. Oh, you fickle, fickle Americans.

• Democratic National Committee Chairman Howard Dean wants a “do-over” for presidential nominations in Florida and Michigan—but isn’t he really just enabling stupidity?

• The doctors for Patrick Swayze feel encouraged about his prognosis in his battle against pancreatic cancer. So do I, because he’s PATRICK MOTHEREFFING SWAYZE!

How will Swayze beat cancer? 100% pure adrenaline, baby!